St. Eubrie- The Creek (658 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.39 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bubba2341 (View user info) at 2006-08-06 19:09:16 EDT
Cherry Avenue runs out near the South end of town, close to the St. Eubrie town dump.
After that, it becomes a dirt road that eventually turns into a three-foot wide bicycle path.
A bunch of the local boys rode down there one Saturday morning, and not all of them returned.
"Hey Joey, Let's head down to the creek."
"Cool. You want we should bring fishing poles?"
"Nah, I wanna check out those tracks in the mud my brother told me about."
Jerry's brother Sammy, 16 years old and much wiser, had told Jerry about the tracks he had seen
near the creek. Sammy forgot to mention what he was doing there with the pretty girl, but that
wasn't any of Jerry's business now, was it?
"Yeah, Jerry, those tracks were huge, man, like two feet across. I bet it was a grizzly bear."
"Oh, bullshit, Sammy, grizzlies have been extinct or something for a thousand years."
Sammy slapped his brother upside the head and laughed.
"Fuckin' moron, Grandpa told us he used to hunt grizzlies down there, and that was only
fifty years ago. There might still be some hangin' out."
"Fine," Jerry said, "Did you see any bears or were you too busy squeezing that girl's tits?"
Sammy turned a deep shade of red, and told his little brother to shut the fuck up.
"Fine, asshole," Sammy screamed, "Stay away from the creek or you'll wake up dead!"
This particular Saturday morning dawned fine and clear, with no sign of rain or wind. When Jerry
found Joey and talked him into the trip, they set out for the creek. On the way they met three
other kids; Clay and Charlie, the twins, and Troy, the local black boy.
Troy, being black, had no truck with the adults in the town, but got along well with almost all
of the younger folks his age. Little kids often take each other at face value unless they have
been corrupted by the prejudice of their elders.
The five boys made the trek to the creek on their bicycles, cutting up and spitting and farting
as young kids will, and soon they reached the destination. Their bikes were abandoned in a
mish-mash of wheels and handlebars. Someone had mentioned tracks in the mud, and an
adventure was at hand!
The twins always stuck together, as twins will do, but the other boys spread out, looking for
the famed tracks. Joey was the first to spot something.
"Hey Guys! Come look at this shit. Tracks, and they are just starting to fill up with water."
The others rushed to his side, including the twins. They looked where Joey was pointing, and
everyone saw the fresh tracks. looking not more than a few minutes old.
"Holy shit, Joey, that bear must be real close. We best get the fuck out of here."
Troy's words had barely left his mouth when Joey's head went flying into the creek, completely
separated from his body.
TBC. . .
User Reviews
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-08 17:31:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Well that was at least the start of a coherent story...
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-01 19:36:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by highersound (user info) at 2006-08-14 22:25:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Could these "tracks" have been given more descrition?
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-08-08 23:52:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This is more like it.
Punch it up in part III.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-08-08 23:25:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-07 20:40:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2006-08-07 14:19:19 (#)
Ranking: 1
Assuming what my motives is? Tisk tisk tisk.
_________________________________________
Prime, although your review isn't a -2, it is still retaliatory.
You spell that ---> tsk tsk tsk. Motives is? I'll call that a typo.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2006-08-07 14:19:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Assuming what my motives is? Tisk tisk tisk.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-07 12:29:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In Bubba's defense:
Though all signs might indicate 'monster', what we COULD be reading about here is a psychopath who is creating fake monster footprints to throw off the town.
... and he COULD be toting an 8-foot-long Kaiser Blade (I call it a Sling Blade MMMMMH)
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-08-07 12:17:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I bet that cowboy Troy will die next because he is the token nigger. Oh wait, he's dead...
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-07 06:31:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-07 01:17:14 (#)
Ranking: 1
I dunno, Bubba... something about this didn't sit right with me.
I guess I would have liked to have seen it a bit longer with some more character development.
_______________________________
Guess I should have titled it "Introduction."
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-08-07 05:37:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DUN DUN DUNNNNN
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-07 01:17:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I dunno, Bubba... something about this didn't sit right with me.
I guess I would have liked to have seen it a bit longer with some more character development.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-06 21:06:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-08-06 20:29:47 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-06 20:00:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
The next part will bring out the surprise. .
-----
Which is that it's Father McGuinty, out looking for a little head.
_____________________________
Nah, man, he was lookin' for BIG head. I gave him Apollo's address. . .
--
Double whammy!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-06 20:32:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-08-06 20:29:47 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-06 20:00:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-08-06 19:58:35 (#)
Ranking: 1
was missing something.
maybe i'll like the next part betttta
___________________________________
I hope so, The next part will bring out the surprise. .
-----
Which is that it's Father McGuinty, out looking for a little head.
_____________________________
Nah, man, he was lookin' for BIG head. I gave him Apollo's address. . .
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-08-06 20:29:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-06 20:00:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-08-06 19:58:35 (#)
Ranking: 1
was missing something.
maybe i'll like the next part betttta
___________________________________
I hope so, The next part will bring out the surprise. .
-----
Which is that it's Father McGuinty, out looking for a little head.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-06 20:00:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-08-06 19:58:35 (#)
Ranking: 1
was missing something.
maybe i'll like the next part betttta
___________________________________
I hope so, The next part will bring out the surprise. . .
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-08-06 19:58:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
was missing something.
maybe i'll like the next part betttta
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-06 19:57:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-06 19:55:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
Will Bubba be the first to violate the first rule of St Eubrie -no monsters- and face The Big Can of Whupass, unopened to this point? Stay tuned...
______________________
Das right, Johnny boy, stay tuned. . .
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-06 19:55:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Will Bubba be the first to violate the first rule of St Eubrie -no monsters- and face The Big Can of Whupass, unopened to this point? Stay tuned...
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-06 19:36:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit that was cool.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-08-06 19:27:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A little clichéd for my liking.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2006-08-06 19:26:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha. This is turning into a fucked up town.
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-08-06 19:17:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
1.5
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-08-06 19:17:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was good Bubba, although that last line was fucking funny.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-08-06 19:16:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good.