St. Eubrie: 541 Peach Ave. The Hudsons (440 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Eubrie
Rating: 1.5 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sicosemen (View user info) at 2006-08-07 08:54:21 EDT
St. Eubrie: 541 Peach Ave. The Hudsons
Smithwick "Smitty" Hudson was well on his way to the American Dream and had no clue. He was the envy of St. Eubrie but was too engulfed in the macabre lifestyle of all work and no play. He and his wife, Morgan, have one of the biggest houses square footage wise in the whole neighborhood. They have two kids, a son and a daughter, both are honor students at Wilbeck High. Smitty was one of the only realty proprietors in the area dealing with St. Eubrie and the surrounding areas of Snellsville, Aubrey, and Taylorton.
Some of the most mundane things sent him over the edge and now he found himself being pushed to the brink. To summers ago he bought an in ground pool to brighten up his yard and even more so, his family. He was the first one in the neighborhood to have a pool, a pool that made him even more envied. He didn't know it, however, he was too draped in the fabric of work to know it. Buy a house, fix a house, sell a house, buy a house, fix a house, sell a house, buy a house, fix a house, and sell a house, and so on in a continuous cycle. Every now and again, he'd have a challenge and he welcomed the change.
Everything was going swimmingly until last year when his adjacent neighbor on Pine St. outshined him with his pool. It wasn't much bigger, a few square feet more, probably just to make sure that he didn't have the best everything in St. Eubrie.
Smitty was always working and rarely got to know his neighbors. He didn't know the first or last name of anyone in St. Eubrie save for Jacob Penn and a handful of others. As far as he was concerned, everyone was below him. He sat poised over this unknown neighbor's pool and wondered what the fuck think he could go out and get a bigger, better, model. He came out at night, right before bed, every night without fail, with the same purpose for the past year.
"Honey, I wish you wouldn't do that." Morgan would always say.
"Dear, you don't understand. I work hard for my family and they deserve the best. This asshole crossed the line and you know it."
How could she argue with his logic. It was her vision that she lived in the best house, with the best cars, the best yard, the best family and the best of everything. She is starting to realize that her materialistic ways have somehow changed her husband from the man he was when she met him, to this egomaniacal man crazed about never getting second best.
On the outside rim of his neighbor's pool he was perched in the same position that he had been in every night between 10 pm and 12 am. He pulled his penis out of his boxers and from underneath his silk robe and started urinating into the slightly bigger pool. At first he did this out of spite and for the shear fact that his pool was slightly bigger but now it turned into an affinity that came with repetition and practice. Now he had a whole plan to go with it for when the neighbor caught on or found him in the act.
"Excuse me, just what in the fuck do you think you are doing, pissing in my pool?"
"Oh good evening, fuck face, who do you think you are. You've seen me with my pool and you just couldn't handle it could you, fuck face? Could you? Then, you thought that you could outdo me in my own back yard, building a slightly deeper pool? I was the first person to have a pool in St. Eubrie and now you think that you can out shine me? Well, let me tell you something, fuck face. I will not be out done, I will not allow this to happen and I have been pissing in your pool for almost a year now."
With every time he pissed in the pool a new version played out in his head and it never got nicer. It became meaner and meaner throughout the years and sometimes Smitty had thought of different plans. Maybe I'll drown a dog in his pool or I'll drain it in the middle of the night. Either way, he planned on exacting his revenge, sooner or later. Now, halfway through his piss spittle was flying out of his mouthed as he vehemently mouthed the words of his rant to himself.
Without warning, the backlight turned on and he could hear someone coming out the back door. He tucked himself in, turned and ran dribbling urine all the way back to his house.
'Sonofabitch' he thought to himself. He didn't face the asshole that had caused him so much stress for the past year and the fucker had seen me run back to this house. He has to know it was me. He just suppressed this like all of the other things he kept in the closet. He crawled in bed and hate fucked his wife. Some more skeletons in the closet, that's all.
Tomorrow was going to be a day of change.
User Reviews
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-01 22:43:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2006-10-05 15:36:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2006-08-08 22:14:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-08-08 20:43:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for "pool" and "swimmingly" in the same sentence
+2 for hatefuck
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-08-07 23:07:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude... no one has just ONE FF league. Let's see what you got, eh?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/91485
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-08-07 20:24:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not bad. I really like the premise but I think the implementation could have been better.
(not talking about the typos)
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-08-07 13:16:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm so glad that I created the town asshole first.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-07 12:01:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Our first blatant asshole in St. Eubrie.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-08-07 11:42:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fairfield county here we go.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-08-07 11:41:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
See that kind of shit is just going to get out of control. Lovely.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-08-07 10:16:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Also, if someone wants to take the place of the neighbor and collaborate, I'm up for it.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-08-07 10:03:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry about all the typos. This is one of the few times that I didn't proofread or edit. It won't happen again until next year, that's four months.
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-08-07 09:55:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for irritating someone today.
"shit-ton of typos, grammatical errors, and missing punctuation"
That is the kind of shit that I like to see on Uber.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-07 09:26:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hmmm...
Okay Sico, here's the deal - I really dug the story itself and I think the Hudson character is damn good. I think this idea holds a lot of promise and I definitely want to see how you develop this. However, there were a shit-ton of typos, grammatical errors, and missing punctuation. Edit a bit better next time and you'll totally get a +2.
(BTW, my Archer family on Mahogany have an above ground pool.)
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-08-07 09:08:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And we now have an asshole in town.