Oh shit........... (368 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -0.62 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <kdlis.at.mtu.edu> (View user info) at 2006-08-07 15:36:19 EDT
I had met Kelly during my junior year of high school. We sat next to each other in Fiction, and every now and then exchanged a bit of small talk. She was the sort of gal that was getting adjusted ot high school and she was a bit awkward at times. SO basically she was your typical freshman.
Fast forward 3 years. I am no longer 17, but 20. I am in college, with a decent internship and a loving fiance.
I was running some errands to get shit done at the apartment when I eneded up at ACO Hardware. I was looking for duct tape at the time when I heard
"Oh my gosh, I cannot beleive it. Do you remember me, bigshot? We sat next to eachother in Fiction 3 years ago? You look so different"
Yea, having to face the music in life will make you look older.
This was no longer the awkward freshman that I was annoyed by three years ago, but a gorgeous young womam. TO say she was hot was not enough. Honestly, she looked like a young Vida. We made small talk and caught up with eachother. I gave her my cell number and told her to call me sometime to go grab some coffee or ice cream.
Two weeks later I got a voice mail from her and we agreed to go out to get coffee. My old lady was out on a business trip so it made the visit alot easier. We laughed about times in high school and then we drove back to the apartment.
This is where I inform you of my buddy Matt. Matt is an asshole. Matt is also going to be my bestman at my wedding. He is also the girls tennis coach for the team that Kellly plays for.
Kelly and I got back to the apartment. We popped in a dvd and started watching, slowly getting closer then finally cuddling on the coach. Everything was going great when I hear a pound at the door, followed by
"This is ******** Police Department, come out with your hands up"
Oh shit, I thought, I am going to jail, my future ex-wife will kill me and I am going to lose everything.
I opened the door to recieve a blinding flashlight in my eyes. I was pushed down on the cement and directed to put my hands behind my back. the order was then followed with a
"Bigshot, you are the dumbest sob in the world"
I got up to see Matt in a fake police uniform with a maglite in his hand. He apparently had heard from a student that Kelly was going to hang out at my place, then with that information had rented a fake police uniform with the intent to scare the living shit out of me.
The best part is, I cant wait to hear the stories he is going to say at the wedding
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-08 18:26:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This _is_ really bad
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-08-07 16:28:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by krissi (user info) at 2006-08-07 16:08:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
Why in the world are you engaged at 20?
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-08-07 16:19:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-07 16:15:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
I... I don't even understand what this is suppose to be.
I don't even feel I can properly give it a positive or negative score, because my brain hurts so bad right now.
Dear Bloody Christ... please proof read, edit and spell check before you ever post again.
*looks around*
Can anyone tell me what I just read???
------
Shit.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-07 16:15:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I... I don't even understand what this is suppose to be.
I don't even feel I can properly give it a positive or negative score, because my brain hurts so bad right now.
Dear Bloody Christ... please proof read, edit and spell check before you ever post again.
*looks around*
Can anyone tell me what I just read???
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-08-07 16:12:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
a young vida? as opposed to what the old one?
btw this is shit
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-07 16:10:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This retard isn't engaged to anyone...unless it's a "make believe engagement" in the "Bert & Ernie Fan Club".
For God's sake...he can't even tell a story.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-07 16:09:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you retarded?
I'm being completely serious when I ask the question.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2006-08-07 16:09:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Poor.
Submitted by krissi (user info) at 2006-08-07 16:08:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why in the world are you engaged at 20?
Submitted by WookieSuave (user info) at 2006-08-07 16:07:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You had the intent of cheating on your fiance with some cute girl from your past, but instead wound up rolling around in the grass with your buddy who conveniently happened to be dressed as a memeber of The Village People.........
Sweet, post another.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-08-07 15:56:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Fast forward 3 years. I am no longer 17, but 20. I am in college, with a decent internship and a loving fiance."
"Yea, having to face the music in life will make you look older"
--------------------------
You are 20. In college. With an internship, not even a REAL job.
Yeah, you face the music of life. Teach us, O wise one, with your vast experience and life-knowledge.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-08-07 15:52:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-08-07 15:49:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
oh your future wife will especially love that story!
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2006-08-07 15:50:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This story was highly dijointed. Reading this made me feel like a pinball being battered all over the place. Fiction or not, please improve your writing. You've got the grammar and syntax down, now just learn how to write a story.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-08-07 15:49:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh your future wife will especially love that story!
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2006-08-07 15:42:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Im nice and people above 26,000 should stick together
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2006-08-07 15:41:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A. Your buddy is an asshole.
B. All this post needed was "Dear Penthouse Forum..."
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-07 15:40:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Poor.
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2006-08-07 15:39:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nothing like good old friends
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-07 15:38:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah...this happened. Not.
Even if it did, what makes you think that anyoe would give a fuck.
Nominee for Worst Post of All Time, summer edition.