John Stone (884 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.5 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by crisko (View user info) at 2003-06-19 21:11:45 EDT
I really dont like this guy. He is a fucking idiot. One of Crashes buddies, go figure. Let me give you a physical description, He has a mullet, brown teeth, 40 pounds over weight, has an accent with both British and Canadian overtones, doesnt shower, has a 6 pack by his side every where he goes. He has the face of a rat.
Ladies and Gentlemen, you do not want to know him..he is psycho. I came home from work yesterday and he had called 10 times, and left 6 messages on my answering machine. He is in love with crash, as I have already made it clear to him that I dont like him.
He is unemployed, but owns his own business. He sells Pentiums (the first one) and 486 processors for weed. Thats it. Welfare is how he pays the bills.
One time when everyone was at my house, drinking and having a blast, for no god damn reason, he decided not to use the toilet when he took a leak, he went into the rest room and just pissed on the floor. Yeah. I am serious. He thought it was funny. I nearly beat his ass.
He came by the other night when he found out that my swimming pool was done being renovated, while I was inside talking to crash, he decides to strip down to the nude and take a dip. It was dark. I didnt know this untill he came in my room and said "Hey Guy, there is no water in the pool" Uhh yea, see, filling it takes a couple of days. Did I mention he walked in naked?? The fact that he had to GET IN THE POOL to realize there was no water in it blows my mind.
A few days back he wanted to come over to my place and get on my DSL..sure why not. I am in a generous mood. Well, I was outside talking to skitty the whole time, so I wasnt sure what he was doing..but crash was in there too, nothing to serious could happen. Well, the next day my machine had a dozen different viruses, two different versions of Virtual Girl installed, and he fucked up my IE..I couldnt get online. I had to reformat the whole god damn thing.
Crash and I went by his place last night after a BBQ, only because I wanted some weed (he always has that), he answers the door in boxer briefs...all sweaty, with chew juice running down the side of his mouth. I nearly vomited. We go inside. It smells like cat piss, ass sex, and sweat. Every where I looked, there was junk...all computers. All stolen I am sure. After I toked, I sat back and tried to relax...I was staring at his cat..the evil fucking thing it is...and then I notice John is fucking peeling like hell..its nasty. I was like "Dude what the Fuck..thats gross!" He looked at the peeling skin...and pulled off a really big peace..then ate it. We left.
We have this on video.
After Crash leaves next week, I am gonna have to deal with this guy. If I dont answer his calls, he comes over on his own. The next 2 -3 months will be hell, because thats how long I have to wait untill I move. Fuck.
I hate life.
User Reviews
Submitted by skitty (user info) at 2003-07-01 21:18:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ooooh, right after hidden posted his reply to this, he went apeshit and tried to instigate a fist fight.
that was a weird night.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-06-20 01:31:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
John Stone is an ex-con. you don't want to mess with people like this.
funny shit. Crash always told me John was cool. that says alot about Crash...
Crash, goddamnit. now i know what it's like to be you in the morning. Tess said we were going out, and then she took a nap, and i can't wake her up.
holy shit, i left the above reply without posting it, and i just went out and now i'm back. i'm drunk, and i have one thing to say- college student = dumb.
i just went to college night at the White Rabbit. i just wanted to watch some bands and maybe meet some ladies, and drink a few beers. i dranks some beers, alright, but the bands sucked my white ass, and i didn't meet any ladies. why? well, i had a few checking me out, wishing i would talk to them, but every fucking chick there had the personality of a brick. i'm glad i decided to stop going to college. everyone in college is a stupid asshole. man, what a total bust this night was. i'm going to bed. no, fuck that. i'm going to continue drinking until i pass out.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-06-19 21:53:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Yes at 2003-06-19 21:25:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
shit, just tell him he is not welcome anymore. If he comes over trap him in a room and tell the cops that he tried to kill you after you broke off your friendship, so you had to kick his ass and lock him in a closet... thats what I did to my mom anyway. Haven't seen her in YEARS!
Submitted by crisko (user info) at 2003-06-19 21:24:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell yea man, when crash wake up I'll have him upload it, then I will post a link.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2003-06-19 21:14:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's hysterical. Did he do a cannonball into the empty pool? Post some video of this guy so we can laugh at him.