for all my sluts out who need some love (987 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -0.85 on 39 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ( : ) (View user info) at 2006-08-08 11:30:38 EDT
1. If you want to cuddle after sex go buy a teddy bear.
2. Swallow. Don't start the race if you ain't gonna finish it.
3. While giving a hand job please remove all rings from your fingers, they hurt really bad.
4. Shave your shit. Seriously, shave it bald.
5. Remember that a little blood never hurt nobody.
6. There is no such thing as a fat, ugly, blow job.
7. If you ask us to any sort of dance that requires that we wear a tie, we expect a sexual favor in return.
8. If you used a vibrator and let us watch it might be the greatest moment of our life.
9. If you wonder why we will not eat you out it is most likely because; it stinks, its hairy, or it stinks and its hairy.
10. You masturbate and we know it. When you do it just let us watch.
11. Birth control is the best invention ever. Start poppin those bitches.
12. Just cause we call you when we are drunk does not mean that we like you. It means that we need some ass.
13. Guys night out means guys night out. It doesn't mean that you and your friends meet us at the bar later.
14. If you wonder why your ass looks fat in those tight pants its because you have a fat ass.
15. If you are with us and you start to cry for any reason just get up and leave.
16. Don't think that we don't know that after we take you out and you order a salad to make us think you eat healthy that you go home and order pizza with your fat friends.
17. Once again, seriously shave your shit.
18. Just cause you get our dick one night, does not give you any right to get it the next.
19. If we drink too much, we do not need someone to hold our hair back and act like our babysitter. We have puked before and know how to handle it.
20. After we are through with you, do not expect to make us jealous by fucking our friends. We really don't care what you do.
21. If we cheat on you and you never find out about it, then its not cheating.
22. If we cheat on you and you do find out, at least it wasn't with one of your friends.
23. Swallow(just in case you forgot .2 already).
24. We don't have a problem with watching chick flicks as long as we get in your pants after.
25. Never under any circumstance take a shit while you are around us or fart. Just thinking about it makes us sick.
26. While giving us head don't be afraid to fondle our testicles, they don't bite.
27. If you are gonna jerk us off aim properly, a nut can irritate your eye.
28. Always remember that men are the superior sex and back in the day you had to ask us if you could speak.
29. If we're about to have sex and we decline because we don't have a rubber its not because we're scared we're gonna get you pregnant, its that we're scared we're gonna catch something from your dirty skank ass.
30. If you swallow like you should, do not expect us to kiss you after. Sorry that's just the way it is.
31. I don't care if you do have a flavored condom, you just don't give a blow job with a condom on. Would you like us to eat you out with a dental damn?? I didn't think so.
32. If we're doing it doggy style there is no reason to turn around and look at us, we're focused on your ass cheeks and that slapping sound.
33. Blood stains on our bed sheets come off with cold water, so make sure you scrub them thoroughly before leaving.
34. When we go down on you to munch on your rug and we instantly start sucking on the inner thighs rather than the clit, its because your clit smells like a dead trout.
35. If you let us donkey punch you we will owe you for life.
36. Just cause we have sex with you when we are drunk does not mean that you are pretty or that we like you. It means that you were our only choice.
37. If we dance with you for more than 15 minutes at a bar we expect you to come home with us.
38. If you think that you are ugly, we probably do too.
39. Don't count on us saying we love you, its just not going to happen.
40. If for some reason we do say we love you its only because we want to have sex immediately after we say it.
41. Just cause you have our phone number doesn't mean we want you to call us. If we want to talk then we will call you.
42. If you invite us over to watch a movie it would be awesome if we watched a porn instead of a movie.
43. If you can't dance then you most likely suck in bed. So stop trying to dance and start having more sex.
44. Hmmmmm......girls in thongs.......yummmmmmmmmm
45. If you are fat the only way you are going to get anywhere in life is to give great blow jobs. Sorry that's just the way it is.
46. A sure way to keep a guy around for awhile is to have anal sex with him. We can't put into words how it feels.
47. You don't have to ask our permission to make out with another chick. Just do it but make sure we are there to watch.
48. In case you didn't read .4 and .17 let me repeat...Shave your shit!
49. Guys don't have sex or make love, we fuck.
50. You can impress us if you can swallow our entire load without dripping or wiping your mouth afterwards.
User Reviews
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-02-16 12:40:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
How's it hanging pussy?
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-02-13 12:13:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
hahahah
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-02-13 12:13:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-02-13 12:12:41 (#)
Ranking: -2
email city
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-02-13 12:12:25 (#)
Ranking: -2
hahahahah
Submitted by Newty (user info) at 2007-01-10 10:03:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I've seen this way too many times, it's just so annoying
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2007-01-10 09:14:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Хороший английский язык ниже .........
Submitted by Jiminee (user info) at 2007-01-10 09:04:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
seen before, cut and paste is not something your good at
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-11-09 07:52:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OH NOES !!! some whiney little fucktard -2'd all my posts!! LOL!!!
You must feel so embarrassed SO much of the time.
Are you a homo by the way? I assume that is why you stalk me?
Well I'm stright buddy, it ain't gonna happen.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-09-26 04:50:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Go away, mature and learn something.
Then come back. Actually, scrap that. Don't bother.
Good luck with ever getting laid or having a decent career.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-09-23 18:25:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
......
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-09-23 17:50:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 in hopes we can make peace.
Friends?
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2006-09-16 08:20:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
OMG WTF BBQ!!@@@111```11~~~ONEtwo!!!!1111QQQqqq1111oneTHREE!!!!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-09-16 07:44:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Plagiarism.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-09-15 19:40:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ballsonurchin (user info) at 2006-09-15 14:21:50 (#)
Ranking: -2
hey skid mark. not bad for a gay guy.
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pussy
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-08-21 23:03:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
51. Don't be gay, and if you are gay, be proud of your gayness, but for the love of christ, don't post something a streight 14yr old boy would post, when in fact you are gay. That's just rude. Like a suburbanite acting like an urbanite. Sodomite.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
*giggle*
*pee a little*
*giggle some more*
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2006-08-21 22:41:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
all your sluts are made of latex.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-08-21 22:34:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You need a dick.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-09 13:31:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
you need a snowball
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-08-09 00:17:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*because women have
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2006-08-09 00:17:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ahhahah you don't even realize how many situations like those I have been in.
Fuck the fags on uber. Most of them have never touched a hot piece of ass. Only fat ugly's for these ugly fucks.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-08-09 00:16:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it NEEDS to be repeated incessantly, because have the attention span of a fucking gnat
Submitted by dr_weazel (user info) at 2006-08-09 00:15:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto "this man speaks the truth" +2
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-08-09 00:03:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck the fags
Submitted by fun_with_needles (user info) at 2006-08-08 23:59:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
51. Don't be gay, and if you are gay, be proud of your gayness, but for the love of christ, don't post something a streight 14yr old boy would post, when in fact you are gay. That's just rude. Like a suburbanite acting like an urbanite. Sodomite.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-08 23:06:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-08 22:50:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-08 12:03:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Some things are harder to +2 than others.
===
I got your back, dear.
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2006-08-08 22:37:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh i always rate new people but no one ever rates me back
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-08-08 12:14:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You suck. -2 don't bother posting again if it's plagarised, mindless, unfunny dogshit like this.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-08-08 12:10:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucked. I laughed though, because I haven't seen this before.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-08 12:03:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Some things are harder to +2 than others.
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2006-08-08 12:00:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 plagiarism
Submitted by ballsonurchin (user info) at 2006-08-08 11:59:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hold up i got something better
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-08-08 11:58:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
THIS WAS THE MOST AWESOME EMAIL ATTACHMENT EVAR!!!
Submitted by gonefiguring (user info) at 2006-08-08 11:56:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Old, stupid, lame, boring, tasteless, insipid, childish, and probably smells bad if printed.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-08 11:46:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2006-08-08 11:42:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Get the fuck off the front page.
Alter.
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2006-08-08 11:41:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I've never seen THIS before.
http://www.goyk.com/text.asp?id=29
http://www.phuket-info.com/forums/jokes-fun/6161-50-things-guys-wish-girls-knew.html
http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=20602
Wait wait, I have.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-08-08 11:36:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ballsonurchin (user info) at 2006-08-08 11:35:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
surprise cockbags
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Surprise? what surprise?
Submitted by ballsonurchin (user info) at 2006-08-08 11:35:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
surprise cockbags
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-08-08 11:32:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ONE A DAY COCKNOCKER.