St. Eubrie: 541 Peach Ave. The Hudsons (491 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.41 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sicosemen (View user info) at 2006-08-08 14:48:46 EDT
St. Eubrie: 541 Peach Ave. The Hudsons
Alistair Hudson, the son of envied Smitty, had quite a full life involving himself in 3 sports, school, and working at Penn's Groceteria as a bagger when he could. He liked the fact that Mr. Penn would allow him to work when his schedule permitted which mostly consisted of weekends and rainy days when practice would be canceled. That was during school. While most people thought that Al, as most people called him, was a happy go lucky kind of guy the truth of the matter was that he had a hidden psychological problem.
Morgan, his mom, came to all of his games and practices but always wanted his father there; when he did come he was always sorting business out on the phone but would watch intently and cheer when he scored. His father was a douche. He pulled the blade out of its cardboard wrapper and began a laceration that was a semi-circumference of his inner thigh. He watched the blood congregate in a muscle crevasse before it oozed over and spilled into the tub causing a malevolent grin to show on his face. If he had a backbone, he would have cut his dad a long time ago, the fucking douche.
Mean while, when Jack was busy cutting himself, his sister Lindsey had a sex craving like none other, often causing her to spontaneously burst into orgasms from a heightened libido. She would take bathroom breaks during school hours and go into the bathroom where she would masturbate fervently controlling the gasps and noises that would normally escape her mouth if she were alone. Occasionally, she would let the men in town have their way with her. Everyone thought she was a model citizen as well due to her academic accomplishments that would soon lead to her matriculation into one of the most prominent schools in the country.
"You like getting fucked in the ass, you dirty whore? Do you?" Charlie White, the trailer extraordinaire, whispered.
"Shut up and fuck me harder Charlie, make it hurt."
That's just what she got.
---
Last night, Morgan's husband, Smithwich, had come rushing in from his normal routine looking a bit spooked.
"What's wrong, honey?"
"The fuck face came out last night so I couldn't finish my piss. I dribbled it on my self."
"Well, honey, that's what you get. We don't need to have the biggest pool in St. Eubrie."
"Yah, since when, it was your idea to have the best of everything. You remember when those Hiro—Hirosh, the fucking chinks or japs or whoever the fuck they are got the first CD player? You remember that? You're the one that made me go out and get a 5-disc changer with surround sound, etc. It was you."
"Well honey, maybe it's time for a change."
"Oh no it isn't, this isn't over. This isn't over by a long shot!"
---
"Fucking mess in here..." muttered Smitty to him self as he cleaned out his garage on his only day off. Most of his conversation was to himself.
"Excuse, me Smitty, I don't think we know each other too well, but I'm your neighbor adjacent from you on Pine St.; the one with the pool."
"Yes, and you would be?" Smitty interrogatively asked this question because he was sure that the neighbor had seen him.
"I'm Rip Finkleton, 337 Pine, two down from Mr. Penn."
Rip appeared to be a bit on the delicate side, a man ripening to his mid-fifties perhaps on early retirement. He was wearing a yellow cardigan overtop a summer polo with striped knickers that made him look like a ridiculous golf miser. His hair was peppered, eyebrows resembling a pair of caterpillars mating, and his ears were the size of kites. His hand wavered when he extended it for the firm clasp of Smitty.
"I bought my house from you several years back."
Ahh yes, most everyone bought their houses from Smitty though, but how could he forget someone so close. Who cares? This fuck face has a bigger pool and he is not going to stand for it.
"Well, what can I do for ya, Rip?"
"Seems that there is some tom-foolery going on around here, I could've sworn that I saw someone urinating in my pool last night and took off in the general direction of your house."
Faltering on what to say, Smitty said the first thing that crossed his mind.
"Mother fucker, I thought I was the only one, I've been finding shit in my pool. I tell you what though, Mr. Finkleton, if I find that son of a bitch, I'm going to rip his fucking legs off and beat him senseless."
It was perfect, he had a great set-up. That night, after he visited Dick Blackwell at the Bad Habit he waited a little extra time making sure that the lights were off in the house, snuck over there and hung his ass over the side of 'fuck face's' pool and dropped a monstrosity into the pool. Smitty snickered at his own actions.
Little did he know that the night before he was caught on tape taking a piss and tonight, Marshall, the town vagrant, had returned hoping to catch another newsworthy story.
His son was cutting himself and his daughter was getting fucked in the ass. Morgan seemed to be the only normal one in the family....or was she?
User Reviews
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-01 22:47:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2006-10-05 15:36:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-11 06:40:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
...hung his ass over the side of 'fuck face's' pool and dropped a monstrosity into the pool.
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Made me snicker.
**
You asked what people saw concerning proofreading: This sentence--
"Yes, and you would be?" Smitty interrogatively asked this question because he was sure that the neighbor had seen him.
The adverb 'interrogatively' is redundant. A question by its nature is interrogative.
Your sentence is like saying one 'screamingly screamed'.
Just trying to help. Good story.
Submitted by KungFu (user info) at 2006-08-11 06:17:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's Charlie for you, he likes 'em young. Good post.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-08-09 09:42:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well Dick Blackwell has some definate advice for your Mr Smitty. I like Smitty despite his failings as a human.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-08-09 04:09:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Worth reading.
Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2006-08-08 22:13:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know, I really should rate everything I reference... Well here's a +2 for your trouble.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-08 18:24:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Meanwhile, when Jack was busy cutting himself,"
Who the fuck is Jack? You mean Al?
Gotcha!
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-08-08 18:14:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I agree with Kaos, but not enough to +2.
Decent, though.
Submitted by houseman (user info) at 2006-08-08 17:07:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty good Sico.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-08-08 15:58:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-08 15:36:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
A few little stumbling points in this, but overall a +2 piece.
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Thanks, point them out for me if you don't mind. I only proofread one or twice and I didn't catch them. It's always nice to have an extra eye.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-08 15:36:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A few little stumbling points in this, but overall a +2 piece.
Submitted by recall (user info) at 2006-08-08 15:02:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I included Smitty in my post...didja notice?
I hope so, because I made him fat. We have to keep it congruent.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-08-08 14:57:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
m-a-r-s-h-a-l-l
I can't spell.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-08-08 14:57:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm glad people are using Marshell. You guys can do whatever you like with him, since I won't be writing anything else. I don't think fiction is for me, eh.