Parents today are fucking clownshoes --SPTish rant (1402 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.45 on 63 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jay Peg (View user info) at 2006-08-10 11:59:51 EDT
At the hotel this morning, I had a 5 year old wearing a pair of those shoes with a wheel in the back, rolling through the lobby, and he lost his balance.
We have slate floors in the lobby.
In a battle between his skull and the floor, guess which one cracked?
I'll give you a hint, it wasn't the damn floor.
So at 7:30 in the friggin' morning, I had to call 911 to get an ambulance for this kid.
*I* had to call the ambulance.
Why did *I* have to call the ambulance?
Because his parents were not down in the lobby WITH him.
First off, what fucking parents give a 5 year old roller shoes? They can barely fucking run with any sort balance yet, so what makes you think they can roll on their heels? BUt that's a minor complaint.
Second, WHAT KIND OF A FUCKING PARENT LETS A 5 YEAR OLD KID WANDER AROUND A HOTEL ALONE?
And before you hit that reply button and comment "Well, maybe he sneaked out" LEMME FINISH THE FUCKING STORY.
Anyway.
Like I said, 7:30 in the morning, paramedics are here, and I can NOT find out what room this kid is from, because he's hysterical. He's bleeding from the back of his head at a rate that would make Rc Flair proud, and it's the best I can do to hold a god damn compress to his head and avoid the snot bubbles he's blowing.
Finally, a good 20 minutes after the kid fell, and a good 10 minutes after the paramedics get here, his parents come waltzing down.
Why did they come down at that point, you ask?
Was it to find out what had happened to their 5 year old son?
Oh hell no.
They came down to see if they could get another packet of coffee in their room.
Now, when they saw their son being attended by paramedics, THEY became hysterical.
But if you think they became hysterical in greif or worry about their son, you are fucking wroooooooooooooooooooooooooong.
They went batshit... ON ME... for not contacting them.
I tried explaining how I had no idea what room the kid was from, and that he couldn't tell me because he was freaking out.
Did they care?
No.
They had the audacity to say I should have called every room until I found out which room was his.
You know, since I only have 86 rooms.
And if I would have done so by ascending number, they would have been the 75th room called.
But you know, calling them was more important than actually making sure their kid was OK.
And I'm not even at the worst part of the damn story yet, either.
The parents KNEW that the kid was down on this floor, because he asked if he could USE THE DAMN POOL.
And they were relaxing in bed, watching TV, so instead of doing their parental duty and either saying "No, not right now." or "Sure, one of us will go down with you." they sent him down ALONE.
ALONE!
A damn 5-year old!
WHAT
THE
FUCK
PEOPLE?
So, anyway.
For those that know me, guess what I did.
Yeah, I told them that was stupid as sin. Actual quote. Actually didn't cuss. I was shocked at myself.
Anyway.
So they complained to my boss.
And with about the same tone I used, he backed me up, saying I was a little light in my wording.
They got hissy and huffy with him, declared that they were checking out, and would not be paying, because of our rudeness.
He then made sure, as they were checking out to take their son to the emergency room for stitches, to point out on their reg. card the notice that anyone under 10 was not allowed in the pool without supervision.
And that they had signed right next to it.
And as they were reading that, he charged their Visa, handed them the reciept and walked away from the desk.
I like my boss.
I hate stupid fucking parents.
User Reviews
Submitted by shmack92 (user info) at 2007-05-09 18:45:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your boss is awesome
Submitted by foster (user info) at 2006-11-11 12:00:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/95651
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2006-08-26 02:58:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A good read, sir.
Submitted by The_Mighty_Badger (user info) at 2006-08-25 04:22:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Or was it because you are a raging homo and cannot stand the sight of a beautiful naked woman?
Submitted by The_Mighty_Badger (user info) at 2006-08-25 04:21:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fucking loser, upset that I said nasty things were you? Go die you festering pile of lard.
Submitted by Kale (user info) at 2006-08-25 02:37:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-08-25 01:41:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
hehe
You think I have the man crush, yet I never say anything about you unprovoked.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-24 02:19:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-08-22 20:12:53 (#)
Ranking: 0
Rob, Caul.
Go circle jerk yourselves on someone elses post.
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Only if you go fuck yourself on this one.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-24 02:16:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Why you have this man-crush on me I will never know. I think yer a fucking retard.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-08-22 20:12:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Rob, Caul.
Go circle jerk yourselves on someone elses post.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-08-21 21:54:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bwahahaha!!
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Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-08-10 12:35:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
My five year old is too busy mowin' the lawn and gettin me a beer to be swimmin alone.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-08-21 21:50:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
apparently - they don't like thier kid.
Sending a 5 yr old to play in a pool alone is asking for a drowning.
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2006-08-21 21:18:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
clownshoes? more like a clown show.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-21 21:11:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-08-21 21:03:11 (#)
Ranking: -2
yer in fine form crankypants. Wake up in the wrong hole this morning? """
Actually I'm in a great mood. Just being a dick for fun.
---
Sweet.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-08-21 21:03:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
yer in fine form crankypants. Wake up in the wrong hole this morning? """
Actually I'm in a great mood. Just being a dick for fun.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-21 20:54:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-08-21 20:45:03 (#)
Ranking: -2
you can barely take care of yourself, you overeating trisomic, don't act like you can lecture on parenting
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yer in fine form crankypants. Wake up in the wrong hole this morning?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-08-21 20:45:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you can barely take care of yourself, you overeating trisomic, don't act like you can lecture on parenting
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-08-16 11:17:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
-2 you should have let the child die, its natures way of removing the stupid from the gene pool. Just to be safe you should have issued the kids parents with roller skates and thrown them into the pool.
+17 Clownshoes
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-08-15 23:21:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You realize that you've interfered with one of nature's most sacred rituals, the process of competing for a Darwin award, don't you?
Anyone who lets their five year-old loose in a hotel lobby should be lashed to a grating and given fifty lashes with a cat o' nine tails. Seriously, it's incomprehensible.
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-08-15 19:41:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-08-03 17:41:47 (#)
Ranking: -2
Keep 'em coming, cockwank.
You forgot your trying to spam me, yet every site you try has a simple easy function called "opt out" where I go to the site, and opt out of everything in about... I dunno, that Crosswalk one took all of 15 seconds.
And I have to imagine it took you way longer than that to sign me up.
Dipshit.
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Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-08-02 09:29:16 (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow.
I do believe I've passed Shlongy as the most hated here.
Which is funny, because a loooooooooooooooot of people hate Shlongy.
I betcha LSD is also the one who though it was an awesome prank to try and spam my e-mail.
Which is also funny, because of the 300 spams I got, maybe 3-4 actually went into my inbox.
Anyway, you're still a chode monkey.
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Elaborate...I have no recolection of doing any such thing. Perhaps if your grammatical approach were more thoroughly "non-idiotic", I could have helped you in your dimwitted confusion.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2006-08-11 18:44:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-11 18:34:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
are all the reviews to this sarcastic or something?
Submitted by Hypatia86 (user info) at 2006-08-11 16:12:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
People like that shouldnt reproduce. You should have called child protective services... assholes...
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-08-11 15:59:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great post.
Submitted by gallowayveer (user info) at 2006-08-11 04:59:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-08-11 02:38:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-08-10 18:47:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God i hate you and your enjoyable posts...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-10 18:26:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy fuck man, this cracked me up.
And I loved this...
--
And before you hit that reply button and comment "Well, maybe he sneaked out" LEMME FINISH THE FUCKING STORY.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-08-10 16:32:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait here one gull durn darn tootin hootn' hollerin' second there, pardner.
You think I use Uber as a litterbox?
TO HELL WITH YOU! I USE IT AS TOILET PAPER!
GET IT RIGHT.
I guess AJ was right, I *do* let people being an ass get to me.
</sarcasm>
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-10 16:19:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-10 15:41:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-10 13:37:42 (#)
Ranking: 1
Little insight for you: How you felt dealing with that kid and his stupid parents... is close to what it's like dealing with you and all of your faux idiocy.
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How about YOU and your idiocy? You'te just an unintelligent retard who cut and pastes random junk of conspiracy websites - sorry to say dillhole, that does not make you an 'intellectual'.
---
hehe
Everytime you pound your fingers into that keyboard of yours you make yourself look like a bigger retard.
I'm an intellectual because I'm much smarter than you. Simple as that.
Yer an idiot. A useless fucking troll - much like your pal jgreening here. You people uses this site as your own personal litter box - and honestly that is totally cool with me. If you feel like being annoying - you go for it. Obviously you are lacking some larger sense of "happy" in your miserable little lives and if acting like a cunt online gives you a sense of satisfaction - who am I to stand in your way. You'd prefer to do it out of spite anyways, wouldn't you?
You really should check your shit, though. I don't believe I have posted any outside links- and everything that I barf out is completely original - and I am less about conspiracy than actually having a conversation about things that I find interesting / important.
But that doesn't matter to you does it? You just wanna be a dink.
Idiots.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-10 16:14:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-08-10 15:00:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
1) Rob, here's the difference.
I've yet to care if someone tries to be an ass to me.
***
HAHAHAHA
Oooookay.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-08-10 16:08:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-10 15:41:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-10 13:37:42 (#)
Ranking: 1
Little insight for you: How you felt dealing with that kid and his stupid parents... is close to what it's like dealing with you and all of your faux idiocy.
--------
How about YOU and your idiocy? You'te just an unintelligent retard who cut and pastes random junk of conspiracy websites - sorry to say dillhole, that does not make you an 'intellectual'.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-08-10 15:00:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
1) Rob, here's the difference.
I've yet to care if someone tries to be an ass to me.
2) Loki, I'm not worried at all, our entire lobby is covered by vidcams now, ever since the other night auditor missed a guy walking off with a computer from our business center a month and a half ago.
I was at the kids side maybe 15 seconds after he fell, and I'm on cam the entire time. I almost hope they DO sue, because what could they sue for? And as for the age, that's the low limit on our insurance. If someone under 10 is in the pool alone, and something happens, our insurance doesn't cover it. If they're 10 or over, it does.
We already got a call from our franchise owner, and he asked what happened.
We told him, he said "Well. OK, then. Make sure you get the tapes out of rotation, then so you don't copy over them next month."
I really like this place.
Submitted by houseman (user info) at 2006-08-10 14:41:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-10 14:17:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-08-10 14:10:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
rat them out to social services
You realize that they are probably going to sue don't you?
Back forever ago I worked in a sporting goods store. We got sued when we had a kid break his finger playing with the weights even though both the other manager and I told him to leave them alone and at the time of the accident, his mother was standing about 5 feet away. Somehow that was our fault for having things like sporting goods in a sporting goods store. It made me wish the little window licker would drink bleach at the grocery store, but it's really not his fault that his parents are jackasses.
Isn't 10 a little young to be in a hotel swimming pool alone? I'm trying to remember how old I was when I was allowed to go swimming in a pool by myself without a lifeguard and I think it was around 24 or 25.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-10 14:06:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
see?
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-08-10 14:01:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Difference Rob.
You don't have to "deal" with my assholishness.
You could ignore me.
Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut y'all don't, so I milk it.
*nyeh*
Submitted by alwayspeach1 (user info) at 2006-08-10 13:55:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 for your boss
+2 for Professional_Peon's comment.
HA!
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-08-10 13:47:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And another +2 for saving a life.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-10 13:45:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-08-10 13:45:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for two reasons:
1. On the Most Recently Reviewed it appears "Parents today are fucking..." which made me laugh like a schoolgirl, and;
2. This was a damn good post.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-10 13:37:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You are so much more entertaining when yer not acting like a child yourself.
Little insight for you: How you felt dealing with that kid and his stupid parents... is close to what it's like dealing with you and all of your faux idiocy.
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2006-08-10 13:27:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn straight
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-08-10 13:23:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The more I see, the more I'm convinced that I'm one of the rare parents that care.
You'd never see me leaving my kid alone in a hotle.
The world is full of freaks.
Should of slapped the parents with yout dick.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-10 13:22:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like your boss too.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-08-10 13:19:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahhahha.
parents like that need more ass kicking in their lives.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-08-10 13:05:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-08-10 12:32:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
We have this resident moron 8-year-old in our neighborhood whose idiot knuckle-dragger parents not only gave him a MOPED, but a motherfucking CELL PHONE, so guess what? As he rides down the middle of the street, he can't hear a car coming between the rattle of his motor and the cell conversation he's having (with his next door neighbor) re: super mario. Since neither hand is on the handle bars, honking the horn sends him careening into the ditch.
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I bet you do this to him on a daily basis. Don't try to deny it.
Some parents are complete oblivious tools that expect the rest of the world to babysit.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-08-10 12:52:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-08-10 12:35:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
My five year old is too busy mowin' the lawn and gettin me a beer to be swimmin alone.
___________
My boy empties the recycling and picks up the dog crap in the yard.
I love kids.
Submitted by dirtycyberdawg (user info) at 2006-08-10 12:39:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Solution #1
Roll the kid down the street and pretend you never saw him
Muahahahahahahahahah
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-08-10 12:35:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My five year old is too busy mowin' the lawn and gettin me a beer to be swimmin alone.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-08-10 12:32:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We have this resident moron 8-year-old in our neighborhood whose idiot knuckle-dragger parents not only gave him a MOPED, but a motherfucking CELL PHONE, so guess what? As he rides down the middle of the street, he can't hear a car coming between the rattle of his motor and the cell conversation he's having (with his next door neighbor) re: super mario. Since neither hand is on the handle bars, honking the horn sends him careening into the ditch.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-08-10 12:24:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
some parents
Submitted by compEngineer0 (user info) at 2006-08-10 12:20:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that's ridiculous, poor kid got the shaft on parents
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-08-10 12:18:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hah
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-08-10 12:16:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
child abuse. what kind of asshat sends their 5-year old to the pool unsupervised.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-08-10 12:15:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I do tend to say "anyway" a lot, when I type.
It comes from typing as I'm thinking, and since I tend to think about every part of a subject at the same time, the mental "anyway" is like a tab key for my brain.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-08-10 12:14:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I could've done without the "anyway"'s in this. It made me think of a 14 year old girl twirling her hair with one hand and pulling bubble gum out of her mouth and twirling it with the other.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-08-10 12:13:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bam bitches!
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2006-08-10 12:08:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There aren't too many bosses like your boss anymore.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-10 12:07:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
-1 tubby
+3 "clownshoes"
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-08-10 12:05:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why is it, when you become a parent, you loose all common sense? I'm pretty sick of being punished in (restaurants, stores, lines, airplanes, the train, the pool, etc) for being single and childless. When you were single and child-less, did you like it when the five year old screamed and bothered you? No. So why is it OK when your kid does it? It's not, asshat.
Good for you, good for your boss.