SPT - The Circle of Life (504 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.66 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jon (View user info) at 2006-08-10 12:38:12 EDT
The first time I saw a business man kick over a bum's cart full of cans, I decided I wanted to be rich. The businessman didn't say a word as he casually walked past the dirty old woman and dumped her life savings into the street. I wanted to BE that guy.
However, I soon learned that I would become the dirty old woman. Only I would still be a guy, minus the testicles from my "accident".
By the age of 23 I was expecting to be building a world empire, and thought I would have at least enslaved the people Canada by then. Instead, I had accumulated over 5000 dollars in late fees for porn websites. It was time to act...
I decided to get back at the system by putting up my own webcam...
I called it, "FuckstartYourFace.com". You can find it on Google, just type, "Big Boobs Hot Teen Sex XXX Hentai Gerbil Fuck Brown Taint Booger Fetish"
The home page had picture of various naked girls showing off their flexibility, with catch phrases in sparkly gizzed on text that said things like, "SPANKTASTIC!", "WATCH TORI TAKE AN ENTIRE BASKETBALL!", and "CARRIE WILL DROP 7 GALLONS OF VAGINAL DISCHARGE IN UNDER 3 SECONDS!"
The membership fee was a measly 40 dollars a month.
Within three days of posting the website, my paypal account had reached 15,000 dollars.
My 5,000 dollar debt had turned into 10,000 dollar profit. Thank God people will pay to watch a 7 gallon vaginal secretion.
Unfortunately, the money only came for the first month. Probably because I just pointed the webcam to the corner of my basement where the dog sleeps. Bessie gets a little rambunctious sometimes but the most I've ever seen her secrete out her vagina is about 1/2 gallon of something that resembled custard.
I closed down the website and took my money to buy an expensive suit and get a hot-shot haircut.
Then I went downtown, found a bum, and kicked him in the balls. It is... the circle of life.
I blew the rest of the money on porn websites.
User Reviews
Submitted by viciousthawts (user info) at 2006-08-28 03:48:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Been a while since you posted. Thought you forgot about us. Pretty good.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-08-11 00:24:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Knowing what that picture is makes it all the more disgusting.
Submitted by fun_with_needles (user info) at 2006-08-11 00:06:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What?? Why??
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-10 13:52:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*vomits into hands*
*inspects vomit*
*slurps back up*
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-08-10 13:21:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I approve of this post.
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2006-08-10 13:20:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah I filed it under my infections and birthday party pictures folder
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-08-10 13:13:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's pretty fucking nasty.
(right click, save as)
It can go into the same folder as my nectrotizing fasciitis pictures... in between the third degree burns and the whale lice.
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2006-08-10 13:11:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's a picture of a woman's infected toe
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-08-10 13:10:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's like on Sesame street where they do an extreme closeup of something and sing this song about how there's so many little things that our eyes can see and we're supposed to work out what it is.
Is it a horse? It's always a horse.
Seriously, what is that a picture of? There's only so long I can stare at it cause I'm supposed to be in bed.
The Bessie custard thing cracked me the fuck up.