"Beebed:" the Ubermusical - Act IV (619 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.05 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2006-08-10 13:27:15 EDT
Act I - http://www.ubersite.com/m/91005
Act II - http://www.ubersite.com/m/91359
Act III - http://www.ubersite.com/m/91419
AXOLOTL Just lower your head, Badassmofo.
BADASSMOFO THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!
JAYPEG Work with me. C'mon, Badassmofo, give him a break, huh?
BADASSMOFO I'll give him a break, alright.
AXOLOTL No. We'll work on the brakes later. Move over, pecker track.
JAYPEG Hey, fruitcake, ya got it on backwards.
AXOLOTL Uh-huh.
ADAMDIDIT2U What kind of car did you swipe anyway?
AXOLOTL & JAYPEG Your mother's.
-------------------------------
[car horns]
B@W CREW Steven Durel, go get the other cable, huh.
B@W CREW There's a wrap set up at the service door for that camera.
[car horns]
ORGASMATRON Rizz.
RIZZO [spit take]
GIRL Do you believe it? We're gonna be on Bored at Work!
HABEEB Hey, um, you still gonna go to the Post-Off?
BADASSMOFO Man, I'm gonna have the hottest date there.
ORGASMATRON Biggest thing that ever happened at an Ubercon, and we don't have dates.
RIZZO What about Maddox from the Best Page in the Universe?
ORGASMATRON Get serious!
RIZZO Just a suggestion.
ORGASMATRON Well, I already called him. [sends off an email to Maddox, just in case]
RIZZO Relax. I think our luck is changing.
ORGASMATRON Do you know what you're doing?
RIZZO What we're doing. Come on.
-------------------------------
[radio: "Taste Me Where I Pee"]
JAYPEG Hey, Orgasmatron, you're looking good.
ORGASMATRON [to Sphagnum] Uh, would you just excuse me one second. . .shitheel?
JAYPEG You're feeling good, too, huh?
ORGASMATRON JayPeg, there he is! Look, that's ETS!
JAYPEG Yeah? I've seen a better head on sicosemen's dick.
ORGASMATRON Would you grow up? He's the birthday cat's ass!
JAYPEG Yeah, if you like psychotic woodsmen with thousand yard stares.
-----------------------------
CIRCE Habeeb, this is so exciting. [whips her dingo scarf around her neck]
HABEEB Yeah, well you see, what you gotta do is, you make friends with the moderators.
CIRCE You know the moderator?
HABEEB Yeah, his name is Bart.
-----------------------------
CAULAINCOURT Axolotl, how do I look?
AXOLOTL Like a beautiful blonde pineapple. A beautiful, frenchified, metrosexual, cheese-smelling pineapple with eight pounds of product in her hair.
-----------------------------
METHOD That's good. That's good. Yeah, just like that. Take it for Popadopolus. Take it like the dirty boy you are.
BIGMIKE You're late, fellas. Where you bee—um...wow. Yeah, um, forget I was ever here. Say, is that feta lube I smell?
-----------------------------
ADAMDIDIT2U Boy, the site never looked so good.
RAD Yeah! Did you bring the provisions?
-----------------------------
BIGMIKE Alright, kids, I want a big circle jerk here. I mean a big circle. C'mon, boys and girls, we are going on Bored at Work very shortly [cheering], but first let's have some warm-up numbers with MeTHod and the Alters!
[MeTHod & The Alters start playing "Cabaret Girl is Here to Stay"]
BIGMIKE What are their names?
AXOLOTL Agent Smith and Kthsgoodgirl.
BIGMIKE Agent Smith and Kthsgoodgirl.
CAULAINCOURT Axolotl! Go tell him the truth.
-----------------------------
[MeTHod & The Alters: "Those Magic Changes That Happen When You Bleed"]
CIRCE I hope I don't get camera fright.
HABEEB Camera fright? What about all those schweet nudes you sent me when we met?
CIRCE I was drunk on Fosters, mescaline and box wine.
HABEEB Man, I loved that shot of you and the boomerang. That thing sure was pulling double duty, huh?
CIRCE Mmm.
HABEEB Mmm. Come on, let's go.
-----------------------------
ADAMDIDIT2U Why don't you let me lead for a change?
RAD I can't help it, I'm used to leadin'.
ADAMDIDIT2U O.K.
-----------------------------
CAULAINCOURT Axolotl, can't you turn me around or something?
AXOLOTL THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!
-----------------------------
HABEEB [creating a new post: *... a FUCK YOUSE TIGRESSES! KNEEL BEFORE THE POWER OF RUSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!*]
CIRCE Did you ever think about singing professionally?
HABEEB [adds sun, fusion and a hearty helping of *FREE CARFAX REPORTS I GEEV YOO JERKS*]
BADASSMOFO Hey, Thomas, Beeb, Beeb, I want you to meet UrbaneMischief Di Labia.
URBANEMISCHIEF How ya doin', Thomas, baby? Guess where my fingers have been? BA-DAAAAAA!
HABEEB I'm alright.
AXOLOTL Who is she?
URBANEMISCHIEF They call me UrbaneMischief, 'cos I'm the best poster at Silvia Saint's School for Wayward Women. [extends sausage fingered hand to shake]
CAULAINCOURT With the worst reputation.
HABEEB Let's go, Circe.
CIRCE Who's that girl? Why do I smell rotting oysters?
HABEEB Uh, she's just a girl, a girl I know, that's all.
-----------------------------
ETS Hi. I'm ETS. Hey, do your folks know that I come into your room every night? Oh yes, to watch over you. Each and every one. Where do you think all those pamphlets and propaganda come from? [sharpens hunting knife]
ORGASMATRON Excuse me. I don't think I'm entered in the contest.
ETS A knockout like you? What's your name?
ORGASMATRON Orgasmatron.
ETS Orgasmatron what?
ORGASMATRON Just Orgasmatron. Like Hitler.
-----------------------------
BUBBA2341 What are you doing?
JAYPEG Washing my hands.
[MeTHod & The Alters: "Emo Tears on my Pillow"]
-----------------------------
CIRCE How do you know that stinky hosebeast?
HABEEB Uh, she's a model I used to kno—um, she's just an old family friend. That's all.
-----------------------------
AXOLOTL Aren't you glad to be back?
CAULAINCOURT Oh, yeah. Besides, girls with platinum blonde highlights do have more fun! [furiously applies comb-in hightlighter, followed by more product]
AXOLOTL You better watch out, frog. Your hair might catch fire.
CAULAINCOURT Ze fahre, eet weel nevar cash LaFlamme! Haugh haugh haugh!
-----------------------------
FILTHY ASSISTANT When I hear music, I just can't stop diddling! Ooooh!
JAYPEG Dude, this is totally sweet! [eats drumstick]
FILTHY ASSISTANT [grips JayPeg's shirt] Oh, yes you little piglet!. Nng nng nng! [cheering] NNGH! The Uber fight song! [music] [cheering] Oh! Oh! Oooooooooooooooooooooh!!
JAYPEG [wipes chicken gristle from chin] Holy shit. I think I just totally came. [checks pants] Nope, just shit myself again. [continues eating]
PROFESSIONAL_PEON When you are finished...
VOICE IN CROWD We're finished!
PROFESSIONAL_PEON ...you will be happy to know that I am not judging the post contest. [cheering] I think we all owe a round of applause to Strwbryfanatic and Redskieslookfake and committee for their beautiful decorations. The papier-mâché mock up of c1ndy's tits was absolutely inspired.
JAYPEG I NEED SOME TOILET PAPER!
PROFESSIONAL_PEON In a few moments, the entire nation will be watching this Ubercon. God help us. I want you all to be on your best behavior. No fake pregnancies or NSFW photos of obese women menstruating.
JAYPEG NO REALLY, I NEED T.P. BECAUSE I CRAPPED MYSELF! GOD IT'S EVERYWHERE! [laughter]
PROFESSIONAL_PEON And now, here he is, the King of the Conspiracy Theory, Mr. ETS. [music starts and then stops after ETS fails to appear for 15 seconds] Mr. ETS! [music starts up again - ETS stumbles running onto stage]
ETS Hi! Hey, it's great being here at Ubersite. What's your name, sweetheart? [laughter] Ooh! Hiya, honey.
PROFESSIONAL_PEON And now for the rules.
VOICE IN CROWD Up the rules!
KAOS-KING Game rule one, all couples must be boy-girl.
ADAMDIDIT2U Aw, too bad, Zoidberg! [laughter]
KAOS-KING All right, all right, all right, come on. Game rule two, during the post contest, if you're minus two'd, you must leave the floor immediately, or else. I mean it. I will beat you to death with your own shoes if you don't get off the floor. And then I'll have my way with you, covered in oil and vinegar. I will call you Sally, and you will be mine until the worms start to eat you.
PROFESSIONAL_PEON And rule three, anyone doing tasteless or vulgar movements will be disqualified. [boos] But before we begin, let me get mine out of the way. [holds a beer bottle between her breasts and drinks from it] WOO!
RIZZO That leaves us out! [throws away ben-wah balls]
KAOS-KING Can we keep it clean, please? Let's keep it clean. Immaculate. Like the walls and floor of a morgue. Like the surgical utensils of the mortician, ready to cut into still, lifeless flesh and poke around the remains of a finished life. . .
BIGMIKE 20 seconds.
KAOS-KING Oh! 20 seconds.
ETS Thank you, fans and friends and odds and ends. And now, for you gals and guys, a few words to the wise. You Jims and Sals are my best pals. And because of that I feel it is my duty, NAY, my calling, to tell you the truth. That's what this website's all about, after all.
So, forget about the camera and think about the truth. The truth is that your government is lying to you. The truth is that the World Trade Center was blown up from in inside. Revolt, my children! Let the administration see the whites of your eyes before you rend them limb from limb!
BIGMIKE 10 seconds,
ALL 9, 8, 7, 6, 5,
ETS DON'T BELIEVE THE SPIN! THINK FOR YOURSELVES!
ALL . . .4, 3, 2, 1!
BIGMIKE On the air!
ETS Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand halo thar. Welcome to Bored at Work, coming to you live from the latest Ubercon. This is the event you've all been waiting for, the National Post-Off. And away we go with MeTHod and the Alters! [MeTHod & The Alters begin playing "Shandy the Dog" as dancing starts]
AXOLOTL Look, we're on B@W!
TIGERLILLY [in Soapy Palace] Oh! That's Adamdidit2u and Rad.
TIGERLILLY'S LEG FUCK YEAH, GOTCHA DISTRACTED! [unhinges] YAHOO!
MERLINA Get back! CystMaster, do NOT review "This Man Saved Your Life" again!
BIGMIKE GET YOUR BIG HEAD OUT OF THE WAY, APOLLO!
TIGERLILLY'S LEG I'M A MAJOR AWARD! [runs away, tilting]
ETS Now to the event you've all been waiting for, the National Post-Off. [cheering] Some lucky guy and gal are gonna go bopping home with some fantabulous prizes. [Aside] And some links to photos that prove United 93 was all a lie. But, don't feel bad if I bump you out, because it doesn't matter if you win or lose. It's what you do with your posts and twos. Hey, does everybody here know Orgasmatron? [Orgasmatron blushes]
VOICE IN CROWD Orgasmatron! Yeah I fucked her!
VOICE IN CROWD Yeah, Orgasmatron! Queen of the creampie!
ETS O.K., cats, throw your mittens around your kittens, and away we go! [submits post linking global warming to male pattern baldness]
STRWBRYFANATIC That wasn't supposed to happen! [begins crying and runs off dance floor]
METHOD Let's go! Let's hand job!
[MeTHod & The Alters: "Born to Hand Job"]
BADASSMOFO [to ETS] See the guy over there with the chick in the red? Throw 'em out.
HABEEB [to ETS] Hey, watch it, man! Get outta here!
["HAND JOB"]
METHOD Yes, move on, everybody! Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! Squicka, squicka, squicka!
Slosha slosha slosha! That a girl!
*oh, yeah, yeah, yeah*
Everybody...
*born to hand job, baby... born to hand job, baby*
Yeah, here we go.
Hey, whip it out. Whip it out.
What is that? Whip it out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Come on, now. Stroke it.
Yeah! Twist it!
Shit, not that hard!
*how long can you tug? how long can you tug? how long can you tug? how long can you tug?*
FILTHY ASSISTANT Stop that! No, not here! Not more music! Aaargh! [ejaculates, soaks Berty passing by in a wheelchair]
METHOD There you go! Come on now, hand job! Hand job!
[Urbane minus two's Circe, knocks her to the floor and starts posting with Habeeb, adding spread nudes of herself to his drawings of astronauts, peeners and smiling clouds]
AXOLOTL (Go, Thomas! Go, go!)
METHOD Whoo! That's the good stuff!
Do it, baby! Do it! Whoo!
That's the knob bob hand job!
Yeah, now let's pump it out now!
Pump it out up! More! More! More! And stick a finger in my ass! NOW! NOW!
*now can you hand job, baby? oh, can you hand job, baby?*
*oh, yeah... oh, fuck yeah... oh, yeah, yeah... born to hand job, oh, yeah*
ETS Oh, yeah!
ALL Yeah! [Filthy has another orgasm]
ETS Now, let's meet them. Here they are, the new champs! Come on. Come on up here. What are your names, sweetie?
URBANEMISCHIEF UrbaneMischief Di Labia and Habeeb Thomas!
ETS UrbaneMischief and Habeeb, congratulations!
--------------------------
AXOLOTL Come on, we're gonna do it now.
JAYPEG Where's Orgasmatron?
AXOLOTL Don't worry, she's in good hands.
ADAMDIDIT2U Whose? [Axolotl gives Adamdidit2u a dirty look] Oh snap! Well, I didn't know!
--------------------------
ETS Now let's see our champs in a spotlight post.
[MeTHod & The Alters begin to play "Blue Emu"]
[cheering]
AXOLOTL Ready? 1, 2, 3, go!
METHOD *Blue Emu...* [stops singing as Jay, Axolotl, and Adam band together and flood the front page with bandwagon posts of Emu vs. Rabbit]
PROFESSIONAL_PEON Did you see-- [laughter]
TIGERLILLY Ooh! I caught you you tricky bitch! [reattaches leg]
-------------------------------
PROFESSIONAL_PEON We know who you bandwagon users are. And, just because the pictures aren't of your faces, doesn't mean we can't identify you. I mean, really, your names are at the top of the posts. Use alters or something, douche hats. At this very moment, those pictures are on the way to Washington, where the FBI has experts in this type of identification. If you turn yourselves in now, you may escape a federal charge. You don't want to wind up getting sued like Blitzkrieg_Bob.
-------------------------------
[movie] [screams] What the hell man...
AXOLOTL Come on, boys, watch your heads.
ADAMDIDIT2U THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!
JAYPEG Adamdidit2u, move out! I feel like a meatball in here. Mmm, meatballs. Anyone want meatballs!
AXOLOTL Whew! Nice gas, Grimace.
BADASSMOFO Man, someone light a match. Let's go find the chicks.
ADAMDIDIT2U Yeah!
CAULAINCOURT Orgasmatron, Orgasmatron!
--------------------------
[movie] .. .if they are comin' at you, means they want somthin.. .
RAD Hold my money. Don't let me go near the refreshment stand. I'm on a diet now, you know.
CAULAINCOURT Alright. I'm not hungry...
RAD I'm not hungry.
AXOLOTL Hey!
ADAMDIDIT2U Hi!
RAD I'm not hungry. [calls up old posts with heavier camwhores, silently weeps]
AXOLOTL Hey, what happened? How you doin'?
ORGASMATRON There's nobody here.
--------------------------
HABEEB Oh, come on, Circe, I told youse on the phone that I was sorry.
CIRCE I know that you did.
HABEEB Well, you do believe me, don't you?
CIRCE Well, yes, but I still think that you and UrbaneMischief went together. Do you know how long it took me to wash her musk off? I had to bathe in tomato juice twice.
HABEEB We did not go together in the Biblical sense, Circe. We just went together in the Biblical sense, that's all.
CIRCE It's the same thing!
HABEEB No. No. No. I came, she went. The perfect crime. Shit, I mean, no we just held hands and she rated my "Gibberish Has Died" post a few times.
[movie] .. .more better you look after them and care for them. . .
CIRCE Huh! [Habeeb punches her in the tit] Ow!
HABEEB Oh! Oh, shit, oh, Circe, I'm sorry! My muscles get all spasmy-like when I'm head over heels. Circe, um... would you change your display name to Circe Hot Dingo Sex 5 Time Offender Beat Dem Tigresses Fuk a Dyke Make Me a Sammich No Mo Edge Peaceful Monk Love Da Earf Thomas?
CIRCE Oh, Habeeb, I don't know what to say.
HABEEB Say yes.
CIRCE Yes! Oh!
HABEEB Oh!
CIRCE Oh, Habeeb, this, this means so much to me 'cos I know now that you respect me as a woman, an equal, and a writer.
ORGASMATRON Hey, Rizz.
GIRL Watch it!
ORGASMATRON What is with you, tonight?
RIZZO I feel like a pickled testicle.
ORGASMATRON Huh?
RIZZO I skipped a period.
ORGASMATRON You think you're with teh ghey AIDS?
RIZZO I don't know. That or I'm pregnant. Big deal.
ORGASMATRON Well, was it Badassmofo?
RIZZO Nah. You don't know the guy.
ORGASMATRON Oh, hey, Rizz, look, look, Rizz. It's O.K. I caught ETS trying to chat with me as an 11 year old boy at the Post-Off.
RIZZO Hey, Orgasmatron, you ain't gonna tell nobody about this, right?
ORGASMATRON Oh, sure, Rizz. Look, I'll take it to the grave, O.K. [puts the news on the Uberboard] Coming through! Coming through! C'mon, AIDS ridden lady with a maybe-baby!
JAYPEG Hey, Orgasmatron, what's up?
ORGASMATRON [whispered] Rizz is pregnant and the baby's got AIDS.
JAYPEG [whispers] Hey, Rizzo had unprotected buttsecks and now her intestines are pregnant.
GUY IN CAR Hey, Rizzo's infected with a pregnant butt.
GUY ON BIKE Hey, Rizzo saved a bunch of money on her car insurance.
BADASSMOFO Rizzo, I hear you're knocked-up.
RIZZO You do, huh?
BADASSMOFO Yeah.
RIZZO [glares at Orgasmatron, looks at Uberboard] Boy, good news really travels fast.
BADASSMOFO Why didn't you tell me about it?
RIZZO What's it to you?
BADASSMOFO I thought I might be able to do something.
RIZZO You did enough!
BADASSMOFO I don't run away from my mistakes. I just renege on public claims is all.
RIZZO Hey, don't worry about it, Badassmofo. It was somebody else's mistake. Someone else is gonna have to get the heat instead.
BADASSMOFO Damn. I mean, thanks a lot kid.
RIZZO Anytime.
--------------------------
[movie] . . . then they get on the street uh?
HABEEB Ah-choo!
CIRCE I hope you're not getting a cold.
HABEEB Oh, no, no. It's just probably a little drive-in dust, that's all.
[movie] Ahhhhhhhh well what can a man do? when there comin at ya,more betta you take them in.uh?
[Habeeb send Circe a MS Paint drawing of his ballsack]
CIRCE Habeeb!
HABEEB Circe! Oh, Circe. [Habeeb starts trying to cyber with Circe, casting Level 1,000,000 Lightning and Level 14 Cock of the Infinite]
CIRCE What are you doing? Get off!
HABEEB THAT'S THE IDEA! Oh, Circe. Don't worry about it. Nobody's reading this post anyway.
CIRCE Habeeb, cut it out! Let's do this on IM or something!
HABEEB Circe, what's the matter with you? I-I thought I meant something to you.
CIRCE Meant something to you? You think I'm going to stay here with you in this, this shit post? You can take these drawings! They're rubbish. They look like a helmet-wearing child drew them! I mean, really, why does everything have to have a cock on it! Oh, and not everything has to have shitty text plastered all over it!
HABEEB Circe, you just can't log out! The post was heating up! [Circe posts a camwhore of his peener] UGH!!! [Habeeb deflates]
["CIRCE"]
HABEEB *Stranded on my own post*
*Branded a tard*
*I never knew love was this hard*
*Circe, can't you see I'm in misery*
*Our hearts were true now I'm so blue*
*I can't grab your titties*
*Your harsh reply, your goodbye*
*Has made my prostate cry-yi-yi*
*It cries "please milk me, oh Circe"*
*Oh, Circe, baby, know that Ubersi-yi-yite is dumb*
*Somehow, someway, I'll get inside your bum*
*In Soldier Fiiiield we'll live so merrily*
*What the gay? Say you'll stay, oh, Circe*
*Circe, my darling, you hurt me real bad*
*Bad like that time I caught my dick in that goat*
*You gotta believe me when I say, I'm helpless without you*
*Your harsh reply, your goodbye*
*Has made my prostate cry-yi-yi*
*It cries "please milk me, oh Circe"*
*Circe*
*Circe*
*Minus two die-yi-yi-yi*
*Oh, Circe*
User Reviews
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2006-08-11 14:40:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
See review on the last one: http://www.ubersite.com/m/91698#2097119
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-08-11 04:41:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I got a line...!
Just the one.
oh well.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-10 22:41:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gayer than homosexuality.
(honk)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-10 22:31:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
These posts really seem to bring out the best in people lately.
Honk if you can feel the love.
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-08-10 22:20:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-10 20:22:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
I get one walk-on line: "What are you doing?"
I should have had my own section, reaming others for the reviews they leave on posts
other than mine. That way, I would incur the wrath of Saccridelicious and KindaQueer.
They really love me, but I think the are teh suck. :(
-----
Actually, I believe that should be KindaDelicious and SacQueer.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-08-10 22:08:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ha!!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-10 20:42:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck you, Bubba.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-10 20:22:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I get one walk-on line: "What are you doing?"
I should have had my own section, reaming others for the reviews they leave on posts
other than mine. That way, I would incur the wrath of Saccridelicious and KindaQueer.
They really love me, but I think the are teh suck. :(
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-10 19:01:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-08-10 18:40:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Awful.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-08-10 17:02:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
""PROFESSIONAL_PEON And rule three, anyone doing tasteless or vulgar movements will be disqualified. [boos] But before we begin, let me get mine out of the way. [holds a beer bottle between her breasts and drinks from it] WOO!""
AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA
*gasp*
AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA
*dies*
Submitted by whysenheimer (user info) at 2006-08-10 17:01:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fag below.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-10 16:17:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
industrial-grade name-whoring
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-08-10 15:55:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't pout Leg, he gave you a walk-on:
*VOICE IN CROWD Orgasmatron! Yeah I fucked her!*
Nice of you to give Legs apart, tiny as it, and she, may be.
But you're no stranger to tiny legs, are you?
Between you and ThornsPrivates, I'd say there's half a man. (although it's pretty tight)
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-08-10 15:51:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-10 14:35:04 (#)
Ranking: -2
Are you saying you want a lot of anal?
I'm not that sort of girl.
--------------------------------
Anal, my ASS!
Wait a minute....
*turns beet red*
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2006-08-10 15:45:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I HAVE NOT READ THIS
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-10 15:17:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-03 13:13:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-27 12:56:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
-2 I'm not in this so I'm not reading it.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-08-10 14:43:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 because I LOVE Grease
-2 because I didn't get to be in it and that makes me sad.
Submitted by Samo (user info) at 2006-08-10 14:38:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
grimace
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-10 14:35:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Are you saying you want a lot of anal?
I'm not that sort of girl.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-08-10 14:18:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh SNAP!
You did NOT just suggest making an Uber version of "Howard the Duck!"
Oh wait...you DID.
I'm sure that THIS would be better received that "Howard" though, by comparison.
And it's cool O-Man...like you said, I'm sure no one else was following the plot that closely. I'm just anal about detail.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-10 14:15:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYIT.
I got a head start on some of this before you'd posted Act III, doing a lot of Find/Replace for what I thought the Dance-Off would be. Looks like I was a dipshit and didn't feed your changes into my file.
DISREGARD MY FUCK UP, WORLD.
This is why you need to stay in school, kids. Attention to detail is important in the real world.
The only saving grace is that I'm betting no one is reading this for the plot. The script to Howard the Duck could have been posted and it would have been cool provided the usernames were kept the same as they are here.
Submitted by Defect (user info) at 2006-08-10 14:13:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-08-10 13:31:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Just Orgasmatron. Like Hitler.
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Like a beautiful blonde pineapple. A beautiful, frenchified, metrosexual, cheese-smelling pineapple with eight pounds of product in her hair.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-10 14:03:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
KAOS-KING All right, all right, all right, come on. Game rule two, during the post contest, if you're minus two'd, you must leave the floor immediately, or else. I mean it. I will beat you to death with your own shoes if you don't get off the floor. And then I'll have my way with you, covered in oil and vinegar. I will call you Sally, and you will be mine until the worms start to eat you.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
*ejaculates*
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-08-10 13:58:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"ETS Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand halo thar. Welcome to Bored at Work, coming to you live from the latest Ubercon. This is the event you've all been waiting for, the National Post-Off."
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Huh? What happened to the 60 Minutes expose of Uber that we built up in Acts I-III?
On second thought, this was a MUCH more entertaining substitute for the National Dance Contest.
BTW, redskies is Eugene...not Zoidberg.
Despite the inconsistencies though, this still made me cream my pants. [checks pants] Oh, never mind - it's only shart.
So +2s all around!
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-08-10 13:39:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh this is still funny though
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-08-10 13:38:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
BADASSMOFO I don't run away from my mistakes. I just renege on public claims is all.
sniff
sniff
sniff
sniff
WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-10 13:34:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I meant to drop this right after I posted:
Gayer than homosexuality.
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-08-10 13:32:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
SAVIOR'S FULL!
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-08-10 13:31:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just Orgasmatron. Like Hitler.