A story I couldn't be bothered to write today (668 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.06 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by TMB (View user info) at 2006-08-11 05:54:14 EDT
http://lapasserelle.com/lm/pagespeciales/games/writestory/write.story.html
Once upon a time there was a young boy named John. John was 22 years old and lived in London, England.
While walking home from school one day, a Green Dolphin jumped out from behind a Labia minora and tackled John to the ground. But just when he was about to let out a scream for help, John realized that the Green Dolphin was only licking his face, not trying to bite it off. At that moment, John decided to keep the Green Dolphin as a pet. And on the way home he decided to name his pet Green Dolphin ''John.''
When John and his new pet finally got home, guess who was standing on the front porch? That's right, it was John's mother, Elizabeth. And boy was she surprised to see a Green Dolphin following John into the yard!
''What in world is that?'' shouted Elizabeth.
''It's a Green Dolphin,'' answered John.
''Dah, I can see that, John, but what on earth is it doing here?'' said Elizabeth.
''It's my new pet!'' answered John.
''Oh you think so do you?'' remarked Elizabeth. ''I wouldn't get your hopes up. You know how your father hates Green Dolphins. But, well, I suppose you can keep him until your father comes home.'' And with that John grabbed John by the scruff of the neck and led his new pet into the house--even though he knew his father was probably going to disapprove.
Once in the house, John and John played and played, that is until John's favorite television show, ''Scrubs,'' started. At that point John forgot all about John having an unsupervised run of the house. That is until half way through ''Scrubs,'' when John was brought back to reality when he heard his father shout,
''monther fucker!! John! Get your ass in the toilet...NOW!!'' With that John rushed into the toilet to see what all the fuss was about.
When he entered the toilet, there stood his father, Kim, pointing toward the lay-z-boy.
''Will someone please explain that?'' asked his father.
Then, as John followed his father's finger to where it was pointing, he instantly knew what his father was so upset about. There, smack dab in the middle of the lay-z-boy, was the biggest pile of Dolphin doo-doo he had ever seen!
''I don't EVEN want to know how that got there,'' said kim. ''But you had better get it cleaned up now! And you had better get rid of whatever it is that could have done such a thing!''
Well, knowing his father as well as he did, John knew there was no sense even asking his father if he could keep John for a pet. So without hesitation, John set out to find where John was hiding. After a few minutes of looking, John discovered John crouched beneath the table that John did his cow milking on.
''Come on, John, it's time to find you a new home. And hey, don't look at me that way, I'm not the one who did the dirty deed on the lay-z-boy!'' scolded John. ''Thanks to you I'll never get to have my own pet Dolphin!!
And with that John led John out of the house and down to the local safira. They had a pet section and John knew the owner would find John a good home. So after saying good-bye to John, and thanking the owner of safira, John walked backed home and attempted to drown his sorrows by slamming down a half dozen mmm choco milks. But John's pity party came to an abrupt end when his father reminded him about the mess he had neglected to clean up. And low and behold, midway through the clean-up, John suddenly became thankful that someone else was going to have to do it from now on.
The End.
User Reviews
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-01 09:11:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I thought this was lame.
Submitted by URMY_bitch (user info) at 2006-09-05 15:09:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm -2ing ALL your posts as a sign of good faith. I just want to show that there is no animosity between us. Friends?
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-09-05 13:19:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm +2ing all your posts as a sign of good faith. I just want to show that there is no animosity between us. Friends?
Submitted by URMY_bitch (user info) at 2006-09-04 21:07:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-08-25 05:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
YOu are such a shitty wannabe.
Cockfag or alter, doesn't matter.
You're humorous because you get mad at me.
Submitted by Samo (user info) at 2006-08-11 15:11:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-08-11 10:21:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
A small bit of amusement.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-11 09:05:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The take-away here is that it's ALWAYS better to have a lay-z-boy in the bathroom.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-08-11 06:23:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
ok I suppose, but the +1 is purely for the score on the bizarre-o-meter
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-08-11 06:15:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
dfdfaifa
Submitted by The_Mighty_Badger (user info) at 2006-08-11 06:11:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fork salad?
Submitted by Sockster (user info) at 2006-08-11 06:04:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Fork salad