I Wanna Join The Illuminati (1389 hits)
Category: PoliticsLabels: Politics
Rating: 1.77 on 47 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kaos-king (antius777) (View user info) at 2006-08-12 10:21:38 EDT
So I've been quietly reading through some of the political posts recently. A lot of anger on both sides and way too much questionable information to wade through. Personally, I think both crews are using a lot of propaganda. Rob Berg and ETS on one end of the field, with Jack McCallum and IndoNinja on the opposing end. I say we give these four some battle axes and let them have at it. ( Popcorn and beer sales for spectators to this event can go to my new website, http://www.getkaeliclaidsohewillshutup.com )
Anyhow, one thing I've noticed in all this babbling about the 9/11 attacks and the conspiracies possibly surrounding it, is the continued mention of The Illuminati and the NWO. Now, I researched the Illuminati and other "secret societies" a few years back when I was working on the first draft on a novel I never finished. There wasn't much information floating around on cyberspace then, but this was quite a few years ago. So I decided to go look around a bit again, and I've come to a conclusion...
I fucking hope The Illuminati is real!!!
That, and I wanna join.
A centuries old group that secretly controls all of the world and is pulling strings towards a New World Order? An organization that has been outlawed by the Catholic church since its conception? An Order whose members primarily consist of Atheists and Agnostics?
This is so the kickass...
This bold statement was taken from http://www.public-review.com/Legends/illuminati-conspiracy.htm ... "-- Their primary goal is to form a one world government to have complete control of the entire world, destroying all religions and governments in the process." - - That sounds freakin' awesome!!!
Or how about this, found at http://www.illuminati-news.com/art-and-mc/index2.htm ... "In fact, many of the top pop singers come from an internship with the "Mickey Mouse club" (yep, good old Walt the Illuminist's Empire) and I believe they are offered stardom in exchange for allegiance or mind control. How many lyrics advocate suicide, violence, despair, or New Age spirituality in pop/rock today? Or just get a copy of the words and read (but be aware that many are possibly triggering to survivors of mind control)." - - Mind Control? These guys are badass!
Oooh look, here's another on at http://www.savethemales.ca/141002.html ... " She describes a sadistic Satanic cult led by the richest and most powerful people in the world. It is largely homosexual and pedophile, practises animal sacrifice and ritual murder." - - So, what you're saying is... most of the users on Ubersite would make great members, huh?
Actually, this may be one of my favorites here, http://www.publiceye.org/tooclose/masons.html ... "Weishaupt, his Illuminati society, the Freemasons, and other secret societies are portrayed by Robison and Barruel as bent on despotic world domination through a secret conspiracy using front groups to spread their influence. Barruel claimed the conspirators 'had sworn hatred to the altar and the throne, had sworn to crush the God of the Christians, and utterly to extirpate the Kings of the Earth.' " - - Okay, um... so?
PLEASE! Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease let the Illuminati be real!
Seriously, I would sleep better at night knowing these dudes were in charge.
And Scourge told me you got cool robes if you joined!
User Reviews
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-29 10:52:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*sigh*
I miss ETS...
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2007-04-10 03:38:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's funny, I'd forgotten about commenting on this before. Wonder why I kept my mouth shut then, but chose not to this time around. Could probably write a book on that alone.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2007-04-10 03:36:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you remember the scene at the end of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade when the archaeologist guy who was working with the Nazis tries to drink from the Holy Grail and turns to dust instead of receiving eternal life?
What you're talking about is kinda like that. It's very easy to joke about that which you do know fully understand. And it's easy to THINK you understand something and you know what you're getting yourself into when you really don't have a clue.
Ritual Majick is nothing to dance with. What it would potentially give you isn't a drop in the bucket compared to what it will take from you. There are forces in this universe that lie outside the realm of everyday perception that should not be tampered with. This is not Puritan fear talking here. Just friendly advice. Take it or leave it.
You can romanticize about darkness and death all you like, but when faced with the reality of what you're toying with, you'll cower just like anyone else.
There is no ruling in hell.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-04-10 03:05:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-13 23:29:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-08-12 10:27:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
that stuff about the freemasons is bullshit ""
maybe 'merican bretheren.
==========
Im just trying to throw him off so he would focus on the true enemy of western civilization.
prohibition of drugs and sex.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-04-10 02:50:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
man without conviction below.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-08-18 12:50:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm smiling at this, but I'm shaking my head at the same time.
This is a touchy subject, so I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-18 10:26:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not sure how I missed this the first time through.
The thing about the robes is true. Capes are also an option.
My grandfather was one of the biggest Freemasons in Illinois, he started the propaganda campaign early on to get all his grandsons into it. Civic organization this, helps the community that...
blah, blah, blah
Actually they wear aprons.
HORRIFYING APRONS OF DOOM.
I was a DeMolay, which is like the minor leagues for becoming a Mason. We DID get to wear capes. They were black satin with a red satin lining, They had a cool insignia on the breast and come coooooool gold rope work on the shoulders.
Because of my involvement with this group, I basically have a free pass to join the Masons.
Should I do it? Join up for infiltration purposes? Let me know.
Maybe I'll do a post about it later.
Submitted by fluffy_love (user info) at 2006-08-16 04:44:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-12 10:50:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Propaganda?
Don't you realize the threat of swarthy la-la-la-la-la-ing Islamic Fundamentalists (who incidentally threw in with the Nazis during the big one in their age-old thirst for Jewish blood) could mean the end of America as we know it? They would cut mom's throat and shit on the apple pie before any of us got a chance to enjoy it in whichever manner we chose in the privacy of our own kitchens with the blinds drawn and a good backbeat blasting on the stereo!
And remember, only bad guys wear robes!
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i wish you could rate ratings. im so fucking sick of pinheads that resort to finding some way to invoke the nazis to win cheap points in an argument.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-14 22:21:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
antius:
do this again properly it has soooo much potential.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-14 19:18:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
IN SOVIET RUSSIA
ILLUMINATI JOINS YOU
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-13 23:29:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-08-12 10:27:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
that stuff about the freemasons is bullshit ""
maybe 'merican bretheren.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-13 23:18:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
b@w
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-13 22:57:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Marvel's Illuminati would jack this Illuminati but longtime.
Professor X, Doctor Strange, Mister Fantastic, Namor, Iron Man, and Black Bolt v. the World.
That's the best idea I've heard since the once-proposed ALL ANIMALS V. ALL HUMANS.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-08-13 22:16:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2006-08-13 17:09:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
You'll never get in now. They don't like people who spread the word about 'em.
Just save as many lives as possible and hope one of them eventually turns out to be Illumninati.
----
Ahahaha.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2006-08-13 17:09:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You'll never get in now. They don't like people who spread the word about 'em.
Just save as many lives as possible and hope one of them eventually turns out to be Illumninati.
Also, I hear the Masons are pretty cool.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-08-13 09:45:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and just so you know, Kaos.
We don't wear robes anymore.
Now we wear bermuda shorts, to blend in better.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-13 08:56:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Konerak (user info) at 2006-08-13 05:39:30 (#)
Ranking: 1
Conspiracy Theories are so passe. This decade is about terrorism, my friend.
Everything you ever wanted to know about Konerak
User id: 11516
Registered on or around: 2004-08-23 16:12:37
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Average rating of all messages: 0.25
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Oooooh!!! You're part of The Illuminati, aren't you!!! (look at those numbers) THIS IS THE SIGNAL I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!!!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-13 08:53:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-08-13 00:48:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
As a Mason myself, I formally invite Kaos-King into my inner-circle, which consists of hundreds of CEO's from Fortune 500 companies and all but 15 Senators.
This inner-circle is waiting for the right moment in time to unleash a weapon so horrifying, so destructive, that after we have unleashed it, we will be the only ones in the world able to rule.
The weapon?
A magnifying glass the size of Rhode island.
And a picture of Urbane's clam.
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Vile, dastardly, evil villains INDEED!!!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-13 08:52:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ess2s2 (user info) at 2006-08-13 00:47:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
*Snort* A "secret" organization that everyone knows about...
Brian, I would have thought better of you, why join an existing organization and settle for being nothing more than a footstool for the existing leaders when you could start your own organization and rule supreme?
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But, but... Scourge says they have the most nifty of robes!!!
I don't know how to work a sewing machine! Is this something you can out-source?
Submitted by Konerak (user info) at 2006-08-13 05:39:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Conspiracy Theories are so passe. This decade is about terrorism, my friend.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-08-13 00:48:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As a Mason myself, I formally invite Kaos-King into my inner-circle, which consists of hundreds of CEO's from Fortune 500 companies and all but 15 Senators.
This inner-circle is waiting for the right moment in time to unleash a weapon so horrifying, so destructive, that after we have unleashed it, we will be the only ones in the world able to rule.
The weapon?
A magnifying glass the size of Rhode island.
And a picture of Urbane's clam.
mwwwuuuuhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Submitted by ess2s2 (user info) at 2006-08-13 00:47:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*Snort* A "secret" organization that everyone knows about...
Brian, I would have thought better of you, why join an existing organization and settle for being nothing more than a footstool for the existing leaders when you could start your own organization and rule supreme?
In Project Mayhem, we do not ask questions.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-12 17:58:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-08-12 17:33:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-12 17:10:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm really surprised ETS hasn't shown up on this yet.
I'm actually really curious on how he's going to take this post.
I hope he reads all the reviews before he comments...
ETS, I swear I will totally hook you up with the most badass of robes/capes if I get in.
Your choice!!!
I'll even get you one with hidden pockets and such so you can hide neat stuff in them.
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I want one too!
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Sure! However, yours will be constructed of a thin, sheer, see-through material.
Did I mention that all members must be naked under their ceremonial garb?
Sorry, these are the rules that I just made up now...
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-08-12 17:33:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-12 17:10:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm really surprised ETS hasn't shown up on this yet.
I'm actually really curious on how he's going to take this post.
I hope he reads all the reviews before he comments...
ETS, I swear I will totally hook you up with the most badass of robes/capes if I get in.
Your choice!!!
I'll even get you one with hidden pockets and such so you can hide neat stuff in them.
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I want one too!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-12 17:10:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm really surprised ETS hasn't shown up on this yet.
I'm actually really curious on how he's going to take this post.
I hope he reads all the reviews before he comments...
ETS, I swear I will totally hook you up with the most badass of robes/capes if I get in.
Your choice!!!
I'll even get you one with hidden pockets and such so you can hide neat stuff in them.
Submitted by Laser (user info) at 2006-08-12 16:27:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't care if they're real or not I'm joining so long as I get a cape. And mask. Do they do masks? If not they should. Because I gave them a brilliant idea of masks they should make me join right now.
Time for some sacrilegious crime. Now where did I put the pope?
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-12 14:33:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-12 14:13:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe that is the key to getting in? Like that Starfighter movie... perhaps the illuminati made a game and secretly track the all the fuckers who are playing and the more evil and manipulative you are the better your chances of being approached.
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*gasp!* Do you think???
(That movie ruled, BTW.)
I better order one of those games and hurry up on nefarious schemes before fucking Method finds out about this. I so don't want that Greek bastard being one of my superiors in this whole thing...
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-08-12 14:21:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
www.bilderberg.org
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-12 14:13:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-12 14:02:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-12 13:43:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
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Hmmm, I dunno...
The secrety part seems to be quite an important factor in all of this.
Then again, The Illuminati have their own RPG and what not, ( http://www.sjgames.com/illuminati/ ) so I guess it really doesn't matter.
And a cape? Of Course! Capes are this season's top fashion accessory for the malevolent super villains.
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WICKED! Capes rock.
Maybe that is the key to getting in? Like that Starfighter movie... perhaps the illuminati made a game and secretly track the all the fuckers who are playing and the more evil and manipulative you are the better your chances of being approached.
That is like totally ninja sweet. [... not of the 'indo' variety ninja, as they tend make my ass pucker.]
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-12 14:02:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-12 13:43:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool!
I'd definitely be in.
Although I'm horrible with secrets. Can I wear a cape?
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Hmmm, I dunno...
The secrety part seems to be quite an important factor in all of this.
Then again, The Illuminati have their own RPG and what not, ( http://www.sjgames.com/illuminati/ ) so I guess it really doesn't matter.
And a cape? Of Course! Capes are this season's top fashion accessory for the malevolent super villains.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-12 14:01:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
erm... deems = condemns
or maybe just 'makes'.
suggests? fuck.
meh. god damn typing.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-12 13:43:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool!
I'd definitely be in.
Although I'm horrible with secrets. Can I wear a cape?
oh... and I don't spread propaganda. Most political "discussions" are just feeble attempts to regurgitate and spew as much rhetoric as you have breath (finger energy?). I'd like to think I keep an open mind when engaged... and do try to learn as much as I can...but I imagine there are some 'good' points that get lost during the more heated exchanges.
I just think we all need to chat a little more. This absurd social conditioning that deems talking about religion and politics annoys the fuck out of me. After all, those are probably the two most important things we, as human beings, can be talking about.
Oh, and the contents of Angelina Jolie's uterus.
That magical sack of goodness.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-12 13:38:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-12 10:52:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is so the kickass...
-
You spelled that wrong.
it's "This is so teh kickass..."
===
You both did, it's "this is TOTAL kick ass."
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2006-08-12 13:28:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
They don't call me Colonel Homer because I'm some dumb-ass army guy.
-- Homer Simpson
Colonel Homer
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-08-12 12:32:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck the illuminati, stonecutters get what they want because they earned it.
Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do! We do!
Who leaves Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the martians under wraps?
We do! We do!
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
We do! We do!
Who robs the cave fish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscars night?
We do! We do!
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-08-12 12:11:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What can I say, I love your posts.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-12 11:58:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck the Illuminati. I'll take the Pentaverate any day. MUCH more exclusive, and much more capable.
CHARLIE
I think you're suffering from the Stockholm Syndrome, where the hostages start to relate to their captors.
STUART
Listen, Sonny Jim, it's a known fact there's a society of the five wealthiest people in the world, called the Pentaverate, who run everything and meet three times a year at a secret country mansion in Colorado, known as "The Meadows."
CHARLIE
And that's obviously why we haven't heard about it in the newspapers.
STUART
That's right. They fuckin' own the papers, smartass. And everything else. Why do you think Scotland's not been able to get independence? Because the Queen the Pentavirate and those English dome heads in West Minster won't have it.
CHARLIE
Who are the other members of this pentaverate?
STUART
The Queen, the Rothchilds, the Gettys, the Vatican, and Colonel Sanders before he went tits up. Oh, I hated the Colonel with his wee beady eyes. "Oh, you're gonna eat my chicken!"
CHARLIE
Dad how can you hate "the Colonel?"
STUART
Because the Colonel puts an addictive chemical in it that makes you crave it fortnightly.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-08-12 11:31:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
count me in too. we will infiltrate.
Submitted by Laser (user info) at 2006-08-12 11:30:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Illuminati don't have to be satanists and ritual murderers n shit.
Not sure if they're real though.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-08-12 11:17:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
good post (not that I'm gonna bother to read it all)
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-12 10:56:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-12 10:50:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
And remember, only bad guys wear robes!
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I dunno about this.
BAMF wears robes and I don't consider him a bad guy.
Then again, his robes have My Little Ponies printed all over them...
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-12 10:52:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is so the kickass...
-
You spelled that wrong.
it's "This is so teh kickass..."
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-12 10:50:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Propaganda?
Don't you realize the threat of swarthy la-la-la-la-la-ing Islamic Fundamentalists (who incidentally threw in with the Nazis during the big one in their age-old thirst for Jewish blood) could mean the end of America as we know it? They would cut mom's throat and shit on the apple pie before any of us got a chance to enjoy it in whichever manner we chose in the privacy of our own kitchens with the blinds drawn and a good backbeat blasting on the stereo!
And remember, only bad guys wear robes!
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-12 10:44:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I heard that the statue of liberty was actually NOT a good gesture from the french.
Supposedly they were making fun of us cause the torch that lady liberty carries is supposed to be an icon of a group that "runs" america.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-08-12 10:43:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I knew an annoying guy who was a Freemason. When I realized that a 4'9, old balding Jewish guy could be a freemason, it wasn't so glamorous.
On the plus, I'll bet the NWO has awesome movies.
Submitted by Cracked_out_cali (user info) at 2006-08-12 10:34:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-08-12 10:27:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
that stuff about the freemasons is bullshit
==================
Yep. Grandpops was one, and its really not THAT big of a deal.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-08-12 10:27:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that stuff about the freemasons is bullshit