St. Eubrie 314 Pecan : Finding Adeline (534 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.81 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Saffron (View user info) at 2006-08-14 15:58:03 EDT
Pt 1 http://www.ubersite.com/m/91597
Pt 2 http://www.ubersite.com/m/91622
Pt 3 http://www.ubersite.com/m/91683
He hadn't realized he had fallen asleep until the phone rang, startling him upright, his copy of "Geek Love" sliding down the comforter and rousing Janice and the cat. It was his cell chirping away cheerfully and Janice glowered at him with puffy sleep deprived eyes.
"Someone better be dead."
She had been a little less than amused to find out that the last barrage of calls at mysterious hours had been the product of his new side line business. He was a Senior Chemical Distribution Associate. You know, a meth dealer. He didn't touch the stuff himself but his job as a nighttime attendant at The Lost Sock had given him too much time on his hands. Only people who are doing drugs do their laundry at 2am. He had listened quietly for the first three months as he pushed quarters across the counter alongside mini boxes of Tide. He had learned about any number of things as crack heads like to chatter constantly, and one of them was that the current meth dealer was looking for someone to take on the night shift. Seems his old lady was getting more than a bit violent about the business hours junkies liked to keep.
Jack was surprised how easy it was to just ask if he could lend a hand. It was basically the same group of people so no one was going to notice a bunch of people suddenly showing up at the 24/7 Laundromat. They were already there. That's how it started anyway. But crack heads aren't known for subtlety or solid train of thought and sooner than later they were calling him during the day and dropping by the house. Janice had nearly kicked his ass until he explained it was a part time arrangement to get enough money for a down payment on the double wide. She held him to it and the second they leveled the new house she laid things out very clearly. Quit dealing or start packing. Even a house on wheels is hard to leave behind when you've spent your whole life working for it.
"Hmmmello"
"Jack, I found Mom. I came over because she hasn't been returning calls and she doesn't sleep that much anymore and I thought after shift I'd just come by and Jack, I found her...I found her"
"What ? " Carol's words were pelting against his skull as his brain tried to wrap itself around what she was trying to say. He never was very coherent straight out of sleep. You would think with the immense amount of training he'd had in his youth he'd be able to pop up out of a dead sleep at any hour and deal with a crisis. He and Carol had often talked about how strange it was that even after they had both left home they both found themselves working swing shift hours. The night had never held a sense of security for either of them and that seemed to carry forward into their adult lives. Better to sleep in the light of day and be watchful of the night.
"Jack....she's been there a while. Someone's been here. I...Jack ?"
"I'll be there in 30. Did you call anyone yet ?"
"No."
"Good. Don't touch anything. I'll be there soon." He hung up and rubbed his eyes. He needed his brain to catch up with his ears and start thinking. Mom was dead. That was enough bad news for any person but a stranger poking around the house was much worse. He pulled himself out of the warmth of the bed and pulled on a pair of jeans.
"Where are you going?"
He was pretty sure he mumbled something in response to Janice but given the whirling noise in his head he had no idea what it was or if he had even managed to do much more than grunt. Serves her right for requiring someone's death if her sleep was going to be interrupted.
He grabbed a coke from the fridge and gulped it down hoping the sugar and caffeine would wake him up. He needed to be sharp if he was going to deal with this. Shit, they had been talking half their lives about what to do when the moment came but there was really no way to be prepared for what had to be done. It wasn't as simple as having a porn buddy on tap to keep your family from being embarrassed by your perversion. This was bigger. Something less likely to be understood if it got out. Porn is simple to explain unless it involves kids or animals.
He parked his car at Pecan and Cherry. 11:32pm on Friday night. He had somehow managed to get dressed and get across town in less than 20 minutes. I guess it was true when they said St. Eubrie closed at 10pm because he'd barely seen another car on the road on his way over. He put his cigarette out and popped a mint. Carol would blow him shit over smoking again. He always thought it was funny that nurses ranked number one in percentage of smokers by profession. Carol did not. She thought it was a betrayal to the calling for nurses to do anything that didn't promote a healthy life.
He walked up the block and found himself uncontrollably reminiscent. The oak at 325 Pecan at the end of the block was where he and Gus had built their club house. It had been torn down after one of the Penn kids had fallen out of the tree and broken their collarbone. 312 used to be home to a family from Chicago. He couldn't remember their names right now but he remembered the whole town gossiping about them being part of the witness relocation program. When they moved out a family fresh off the boat from Laos moved in. They hadn't lasted long here either. In fact 312 had been a revolving door, with someone new moving in about every 3-4 years. He wasn't surprised. No matter how clean the facade, the animal part of the brain generally knows when something isn't as it should be.
He exhaled slowly as he walked past 319, making note of the new Range Rover in the driveway and the Barbie Jeep left on the walk next to a fat nubby piece of chalk and a hopscotch pattern. He kneeled down and picked up a doll that was sitting on number 4, unconsciously smoothing the hair and then sitting her upright on the Jeep's seat. It looked like the Hutchense family was getting back to normal. Margene hadn't let Chloe go outside for months after Tiffany disappeared. He swallowed hard and wondered if Doug had ever figured out that Tiffany wasn't his. It had been terrible for him, unable to find comfort in anyone when his girl disappeared. Watching Margene slowly fade away as the weeks passed without news of their daughter, unable to hold her and grieve with her. Seeing Doug on the evening news leading a candle light vigil with pleads for the return of "his" daughter. Janice held his hand and gave into flares of jealousy watching Jack pine, knowing what he felt for Margie, never suspecting that things had continued even after she had caught them.
He knew Margie didn't love him, but it was hard just the same to watch Doug hold her and give her comfort in a way she had never allowed him to. He was talented with his tongue and his cock but she had told him point blank that his soul was empty and she wouldn't build a life with a man like that. He asked her why she hadn't sold her parents house, why she had decided to move in and raise a family so close to his parents. Part of him wanted to believe she was keeping tabs on him but the reality was Doug was still in school and the St. Eubrie real estate market was soft. She was pragmatic, his Margie. Their rent money would be better served being put into savings until Doug graduated and then used to help him start his practice.
Jack shook his head and headed towards his parents house. The light in the front room was on and he could see Carol's pacing silhouette behind the curtains. He also made note of muddy foot prints on the walk. Mom would never have left such a mess and the prints were far too large to be Adeline's. He opened the door and found Carol wide eyed and chewing her finger nails.
"What are we going to do Jack ? They've been downstairs too. And Mom's desk is open...."
"Where's Mom?"
"She's on the back porch...she's been there a while Jack."
"Did you touch her? "
"I...no, I mean you can tell there's no need to take a pulse....she's......" Carol covered her mouth and fell next to Adeline's desk, vomiting into the trash bin. She stood up and looked embarrassed. Jack handed her a mint.
"We knew this day would come. If someone killed Mom, that's for the police to figure out. Our job is to make sure that's all they figure out. You ready ?"
Carol nodded.
"I'm going to go get the kit out of the tool shed. You go wash out that waste basket and put it back where it was. We can do this Carol. Dad told us what we have to do. We can do this...." He turned away hoping she wouldn't see the glint of fear in his eyes.
He made his away across the porch, past his mother and into the tool shed. There behind the bags of potting soil, old push mower and weed whacker was the cabinet. It had been fashioned from an old outhouse door and the star and moon pattern had been a regular player in his nightmares. His grown mind knew that there was nothing to be afraid of, but his inner child had just shit itself.
User Reviews
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-11-02 17:40:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
314 Pecan Pi.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-02 17:23:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snalty (user info) at 2006-08-20 20:47:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This series is getting good! I especially like the last line.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-08-17 00:59:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-08-10 00:13:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-08-15 12:30:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-08-15 07:39:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm waiting.
Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2006-08-15 04:26:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm sorry. I really don't want to give you a hard time, as you've clearly put some effort into this, but it's so awkward. It lost my attention. There is a difference between maintaining a sense of the character's personal incoherence and simply writing something that isn't so easy to follow. However, I'm not giving you a negative. You should try, and you should read it to yourself before you post it - if you're not sure, give it a day or two and then edit. I couldn't bring myself to the end of this, but the premise looks sound enough.
I look forward to seeing what gets written next - and I've read the first two, I figured there was no point adding +2's to such a good rating - but I don't quite see this. Fiction characters don't need to be sanitised, but their image needs to be sharp, in order to put them in the mental pigeon holes we are brought up to use for real people. Not that I think this is a good thing, mind, but you've got to convey a sense of character clearly.
FTA
Submitted by silent1 (user info) at 2006-08-14 23:41:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love the way the story is going so far.
This needs more reviews!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-14 21:31:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh my god..WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN?
AWESOME.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-14 21:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2, although I think the middle part about Doug, Margie, Chloe, etc. should have been cut. . .
Unless it will have meaning later.
Submitted by runswithscissors (user info) at 2006-08-14 16:40:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A lot of fucked up shit going on in St Eubrie......a nice place to visit (maybe) but I wouldnt
want to live there!