Still Shlongy After All These Years (Plus random picture) (5875 hits)
Category: Politics -> IraqRating: 1.13 on 329 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Shlongy O'Reilly (View user info) at 2006-08-16 15:52:46 EDT
I don't know what it is...Is it the "kavorka"? Is it my winning smile and all American good looks? The house? The car? The bank account? Is it my giant cock? Well, we know THAT'S not it. Is it my constant begging and whining? Perhaps.
Whatever it is, Shlongy has it in spades and uses it to bang broads at the most unusual and random times.
Sit down...have a glass of wine...light up a cigarette while Uncle Shlongy regales you with yet ANOTHER tale of love gone wrong...lust in the afternoon...and great sex in the hopper at a local Savannah nightspot. It's a cautionary tale of wine (or scotch), women, song, and semen and one that we'll be talking about - on Uber - for minutes to come.
It was a Tuesday like any other Tuesday. Except it may have been Wednesday. So perhaps, it was a Wednesday like any other Tuesday. WHATever. Shlongy usually spends one day a week yelling at his staff of Account Executives in Savannah - he's a big shot "boss" you know - and before he returns home to South Carolina, he likes to stop off and have a few drinks at one - or four - of the hundreds of bars, restaurants and strip clubs that have helped make Savannah the...ummmm...the...Shit...I can't remember but it's PRETTY DAMN FAMOUS FOR SOMETHING!
On this particular afternoon, I swung by the Inn at 1340 - a historic Inn and Restaurant that has been around for hundreds of years ( I kind of remember when they were building it) and has seen many more shady characters than Shlongy in its day...so I figured I could blend right in. I was the youngest person in the bar that afternoon when I pulled up and ordered my first - of 12 - Glen Livet on the rocks. I was immediately smitten by the bartenders big rack and it was obvious that she liked Shlongy too, since I was one of only 5 people at the packed bar that was not using a walker or towing an oxygen tank on wheels. We started with some small talk...she asked my name...I asked her if there was any chance of a grabbing blowjob from her in the kitchen...the usual banter...and we were hitting it off pretty good.
It was somewhere during my 4th drink that I started feeling like my head was on fire...that someone was staring laser beams in the back of my head. I turned toward the free buffet to notice a seemingly teenaged zit-boy scarfing up as many wings as he could squeeze onto his complimentary plate...with the remainder going straight into his pockets -ewwwwwie -and to his immediate left (or right, depending on which way you are facing while reading this story), a pretty hot looking, albeit ninja-looking, little semi-slut with a pretty nice pooper on her, if I may say so myself. She smiled, I smiled back...and with that, I turned back to the bartender and told her "You're out, Toots. I'll probably be making my move on THAT broad over there. She wants me".
By the time I ordered another scotch for me and was about to order one for the little waif with the great hind quarters, the teenaged zitboy- who couldn't have been a day over 17 - was actually making out with MY next shag piece! Right in the bar! The nerve of this kid.
I assumed that they must be brother and sister or something because this chick was WAYYYY out of zitboys' league. So being the piece o' bitter shit that I am, I signed my tab, tipped the chick behind the bar my customary 30%, and high tailed it the hell out of there and headed to another bar...this one on River Street. I wasn't going to bring MY troubles home to SC...my plan was to leave 'em in a bar on the WAY to SC.
I headed to "Johnny's Crab House" on River Street, another of the many historic Savannah sea food restaurants and pickup joints that I have been frequenting since the mid-1980's.
I had just seated myself at the bar, ordered my first beer AND a scotch and asked for a menu for their tremendous raw bar when out of nowhere, the ninja-waif with the great ass and the Zitboy were standing no more than 15 feet from where I was sitting. Was I imagining this? Or were they following me?
I had to find out. And find out I did. I may have a very active, and highly sexually charged imagination but this was no fantasy...I was soon to find out that this was the real deal.
So finally, after about 2 minutes, this broad walks up to me and says, "I'm a big fan, and I always wanted to meet the legendary Shlongy, and maybe, well, you know"...and she gave me a wink.
I had no idea who this chick was. I asked her name but she said "that's unimportant sweetie", and that was fine with me - no names makes it even more exciting.
I asked her who the puppy dog dork was that was tailing her and she told me not to worry about him...she'd deal with that.
I bought her a drink...then another.
I bought Zitboy a Coke and gave him 4 bucks in quarters so he could go play Ms. PacMan or Zaxxon or whatever the fuck arcade games they had in the bar, and leave us alone. And meanwhile, me and this no-named ninja started getting close...right at the bar.
We had some mussels in a garlic and butter sauce...some raw oysters, which, incidentally, "helps keep my stuff hard, mon". She had the chicken fingers and when she sucked the ranch dressing off her fingers in a slow, seductive manner, the game was ON, bey-otch.
And we had a few more drinks.
She started rubbing Shlongy Jr. through my beige Cotton Dockers - Hey, I play a lot of golf, assholes so back off - and yeah, I was catching a Woodrow. I grabbed her firm, yet supple ass cheeks and we started to grind a bit at the bar, right in front of Puppy Dog Boy, which quite frankly, was making me feel uncomfortable. I asked her if she would follow me to the Men's Room and she didn't even hesitate. She grabbed my hand and led me there.
Well, I'm too much of a gentleman to kiss and tell, but fortunately for me, we didn't do a lot of kissing so here goes. I'll tell. Yeah. We did it. We did a lot of stuff. I'm pretty sure we both got off AT LEAST once. I know I did and to be honest, I didn't bother to check to see if she did. We washed off with cleanly flushed toilet water - you ever see the sinks in these old bars? - and went back to the bar...refreshed, rejuvenated, and relaxed. I gave her a peck on the cheek, punched Zitboy in the arm, threw $50 on the bar and made my way out into the night...never to see this mystery Uber broad again.
But before I went, she insisted on taking a picture with Shlongy - do you blame her? - and she happened to have one of those camera phones that I couldn't operate in a gazillion years.
Since I have photographic proof that this encounter took place, I guess it wasn't a dream.
Oh, I also snagged her panties as a momento...you know, additional "proof". They're now hanging on the rear view mirror of my BMW 330. I told Mrs. Shlongy that it's just the new headcover for my new Titleist Hybrid Club. I've been having trouble with this club, hooking the shots to the left and...oh, sorry about that. back to my story.
I'm glad I made this Uber broads' dreams come true. That's what I do.
I'm Shlongy.
The End
User Reviews
Submitted by kristy (user info) at 2008-06-05 03:27:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by bruzwuld (user info) at 2007-11-09 16:30:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
......AFTER TOO MANY YEARS would have been a more appropriate title.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-26 08:38:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Agreed.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-26 01:33:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Still better.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-25 17:30:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah- This one is better.
-Captain Thorns
Submitted by Zeglamancer (user info) at 2007-07-29 22:49:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-16 22:42:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-08-16 22:32:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's hug it out bitch
__________________
Great. I hug you, rub your boobies and your ass, and you snort in disgust at the
obviously small size of my weenie. I, however, will never tell the masses about the problem. :)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I just know I am not the only one who read this and thought "I put on my robe and wizard hat"
(if you're bored read Bloodninja here http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/bloodninja.php )
I'll +2 because I laughed during your story like 5 times. That and you're Shlongy so it pretty much means automatic +2 even if your entire post was like, a picture of a fat samoan shitting against a wall.
P.S. I am not as well traveled as you guys appear to be, are you refering to Savannah Georgia? its the only Savannah I know of and have been to. Real nice place.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-07-28 23:41:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"I'm pretty sure we both got off AT LEAST once. I know I did and to be honest, I didn't bother to check to see if she did."
Where I come from, women aren't allowed to orgasm.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-25 18:10:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ikari_shinji (user info) at 2007-07-25 17:53:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Shlongy hit that skank indie shit, I just know it.
Lots of hate + contempt for his fellow man + success?
I wanna be like YOU when I grow up.
The key is "never grow up". That's the recipe for success and happiness.
It also helps if you pull down 6 figures a year, but the NEVER GROW UP part is almost as important.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-07-25 18:04:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You get a +2 because I'm tired enough to read "whining shine" instead of "winning smile". I quite liked "whining shine".
Submitted by ikari_shinji (user info) at 2007-07-25 17:53:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Shlongy hit that skank indie shit, I just know it.
Lots of hate + contempt for his fellow man + success?
I wanna be like YOU when I grow up.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-06-21 04:23:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wow, its been almost a year since you got your knob shined by some jailbait
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-06-21 03:27:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This would make a great Porno.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-05-24 18:38:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You can run but you can't hide, butterDcup.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-05-24 18:05:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You make me smile. But I'm afraid you'll have to settle for that.
<blows a kiss and runs the fuck away fast>
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-05-24 17:48:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You can't fool me...you're diddling while you typed that.
I know these things. I'm Shlongy.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-05-24 17:41:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for the friendly advice, snookums. Cold day in hell and all that guff, but it was nice of you to offer.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-05-24 17:36:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lets see here:
You are quantifiably ugly, scrawny, and posses a giant hooked nose and wee beady little eyes.
Ouch.
On the other hand - you think I might be fat.
heh, fair enough. Good game.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-05-24 17:30:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
My secretary mis-typed that.
I think it was supposed to say "fuct".
If you search through my entire Uber collection - 2005-2007 - you'll find some other fantastic panty/wetness inducing shots that you can print out and use for those 'special, solitary moments' that we all like to enjoy from time to time.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-05-24 17:19:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hell, hon. Luct?? Shit, you should've said. Of course you make me drool with Luct. All the time.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-05-24 17:17:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Stop lying to yourself, toots.
I make them ALL with luct...ask around.
It's both a gift...and a curse.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-05-24 17:09:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You have purdy blue eyes.
But honestly you're not exactly making me drool with lust, sweetheart.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-04-12 15:52:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
is that Ghola? if so did you lick her love beads?
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-03-13 18:16:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-26 18:47:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
PS. Take this to 5000 hits, please, without B @ W's help.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-26 18:46:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Did some teenager just tell Shlongy to "go fuck himself"?
BUHAUAHAUAHAHAhahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAH
"Save face"???
Shlongy, "saving face" on Uber?
That'll be the day.
Your posts stink...so do the other homo with the same fruitcake names', posts. That's life.
So, pipe down, Jughead. You're disturbing my "Happy Hour".
Submitted by Montucky (user info) at 2007-02-26 18:27:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If I follow you logic moneyshot, you have foolishly fallen into shlongy's evil trap.
Submitted by moneyshot (user info) at 2007-02-26 17:58:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Nice job trying to save face you fucking pathetic wannabe. You try so hard to get people to hate you its like you're just crying on the inside for someone to actually give a shit about what you have to say. Truth is we both know that years from now you'll be posting on here trying to piss off a whole new batch of posters while most of us will go on to better things. You are a sad waste of life and your name is just as juvenile as ours. Oh, and go fuck yourself.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-26 17:17:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, apparently, I hate the name AND the poster(s).
You two retards couldn't come up with something in a Uber name that differentiates yourselves from each other...and that's MY problem?
Don't think so.
You both suck.
But Uber wouldn't be Uber without total wastes of space like you two, so KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
Nice job on the retalitory -2's, Elroy.
Submitted by moneyshot (user info) at 2007-02-26 17:08:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You know what's funny? I'm not the moneyshot you think I am you dipshit. There is another user with the name money_shot or some shit that's in the army. Also, I was here before you and him but that's ok I still hate you the same.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-26 16:56:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Apparently, moneyshot is having a snot and tear filled "Kleenex moment".
Go fuck yourself, soldier-boy. I LOVE -2'[s.
That's my raison d'etre.
Submitted by moneyshot (user info) at 2007-02-26 16:37:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Auto-Schlongy -2
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2007-01-28 04:53:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy knows his hockey goons, +2
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2007-01-17 14:27:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
id do shlongy
a lovely meal consisiting of a nice juicy steak and beans :)
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-17 13:56:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You should probably go back and read ALL of the old Shlongy files.
They're ALL this well-written.
Probably.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-01-17 13:39:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this shit was funny as hell. i didn't realize how nicely written this was the first time around.
Submitted by djhurricane (user info) at 2006-10-23 23:32:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I give it a two getting the joke now. Was a newbie when posted. Forgive me.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-10-23 11:22:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Savannah rules.
Shlongy rules.
that is all.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-23 11:12:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That was just a typo, beeltea.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2006-10-21 15:05:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This doesn't have anything to do with poilitics and Iraq!
Submitted by djhurricane (user info) at 2006-10-21 14:47:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I can go to hooters and get a picture with hotter women with me. What did mrs shlongy think of the pic?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:16:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2006-10-15 18:25:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
You have my first review in probably a year. Well fucking played man. Funny shit.
When you get a chance, we all know myspace is lame but i's good for band promo...
www.myspace.com/mrwolf
I do indeed despise Myspace EXCEPT when used by bands to get their music out there.
I mean, hell, The Buzzcocks and Eddie and The Hot Rods both have MySpace accounts.
As long as we're talking music, I'm sure you know who Brian James is.
Check THIS out...You will love it. Brian James Gang
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgI8HGOiViM
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-10-15 18:35:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
holy fuck it's mr wolf. Shlongy and Ghola, grow your h... . I mean Ghola, grow your hair.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2006-10-15 18:25:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You have my first review in probably a year. Well fucking played man. Funny shit.
When you get a chance, we all know myspace is lame but i's good for band promo...
www.myspace.com/mrwolf
Submitted by Damitrius (user info) at 2006-10-08 17:05:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I like how its just a head shot, no body shots?
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-10-02 09:41:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-01 21:43:25 (#)
Ranking: -2
We get it, you fucking retard...you met a Uberite and it's the first girl to pay attention to you since summer camp, '03.
If every post from here on in is going to have pictures proving that you're a "groovy guy", why don't you just go to MySpace and blog your fucking brains out?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:02:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
How the fuck could you miss THIS?
It lead the league in Heat for about 4 days.
It IS some of my finer non-fiction.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-09-22 10:59:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am horrified that I missed this.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-09-07 21:26:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It SHOULD never be heard again, but unfortunately for all involved, it's the only video game that I was ever any good at, unless you count Golden Tee, and I don't.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2006-09-07 20:52:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You nailed CabaretGirl? Nice....
Well, +2 for mentioning Zaxxon. I thought that word was in the dustbin of history to never be used again.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-09-05 12:32:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, I'm not.
You need your prescription checked.
You also need to go fuck yourself.
Submitted by concerthead (user info) at 2006-09-04 21:54:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 because you are like ugly...like kill yourself...like
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-31 08:54:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You've been emailed.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-30 14:56:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Please send me an email (snarkk.at.gmail.com) when you have a chance. I have a proposal for you for UM IV that you might be interested in.
Submitted by MarquisedAmeraux (user info) at 2006-08-29 20:12:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2006-08-28 19:59:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
shlongy ugly
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-26 16:30:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't tell anyone.
Submitted by ArcEld (user info) at 2006-08-26 02:02:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're a good guy, Shlongy.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-22 19:23:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-08-22 17:30:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
wow, you sacked ghola? it must have been like a rag flapping at the end of a flagpole, what with your massive junk and her petite figure?
You're next, sugar britches.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-22 19:13:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No...you're right. Shlongy IS useless.
That tells you all you need to know about the REST of the MVA. I'd be killing those chumps.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2006-08-22 18:31:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
(Not saying you aren't useless yourself...we just need a different arrangement of the uselessness) :p
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2006-08-22 18:30:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What the hell is going on here? This is still heated?
I think it's a sign that you should post more often so you can pass some of the completely useless fucks on MVA.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-08-22 17:30:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow, you sacked ghola? it must have been like a rag flapping at the end of a flagpole, what with your massive junk and her petite figure?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-21 17:34:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Chuckles, R.I.P. 1993-2006.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-21 14:11:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wrong
wrong
wrong
and finally, wrong.
Congrats!
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-08-21 14:09:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
1) your napoleon complex is seriously skewing your view on the world... and your paycheck.
2) speaking about yourself in the 3rd person = auto micropenis
3) you're either not keeping your left arm completely straight or you aren't following through. If niether of these work, try putting the ball at the front of your stance, pretty much on line with your left foot (reverse sidedness if you're a lefty)
4) you couldn't bang that/any chick even if you had "mrs." shlongy's cuntastic permission
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-21 13:44:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Try and get over it, you fag.
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2006-08-21 12:45:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i just cant get over how big your nose or how ugly the chick is.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-21 09:42:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do 5 consecutive posts on the New York Dolls and Eddie and the Hot Rods.
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-08-20 22:52:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/92026
oye! where do you think I should go from here?
Submitted by Zol (user info) at 2006-08-20 22:45:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You look like Douglas Adams
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2006-08-20 21:02:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you steal her panties and her PHONE?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-20 18:11:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sorry Shlongy ;(
It's the natural way of the world, the young defeat the old.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-08-20 13:10:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't be upset at the post above Shlong. It was one of those freaks of nature.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-20 13:09:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best post in the last 6 months. . .
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2006-08-20 12:42:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The M Roadster Z4s are nice little cars. I have one, but only because I make them.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-20 10:33:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-20 09:00:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
Then break out with a +2, Slim. This was a good post.
______________________________________________
This post beats the french-fried fuck out of the piece of shit
above it on most heated.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-20 09:00:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Then break out with a +2, Slim. This was a good post.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-08-20 08:55:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I stopped hating Shlongy a long time ago, once I found out he was really a Care-Bear doing experiments with odd hate chemicals.
Now I think he's cute and cuddly.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-20 08:20:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What's the deal with airline food?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-20 00:21:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What's the deal with all the Shlongy-hate?
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-08-19 18:06:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I can almost hear you weeping those highschool tears -- overstuffed mahogany sleigh bed shuddering with each desperate gasp.
At least you'll always have your money.
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2006-08-19 16:57:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:00:30 (#)
Ranking: -2
The only way you could take me, Daisy duke, is the same mechanism you use to get laid ... plenty of Rohypnol, you fucking chester the molester looking motherfucker.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-19 10:45:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now I just actually read this.
Wart teh Hell?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-19 10:16:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It IS one of the best posts in Uber history...that's for sure.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2006-08-19 09:27:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This post has made my day!!
Sorry 'bout driving a BMW though;-)
Submitted by Defect (user info) at 2006-08-19 01:22:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49693
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-19 00:31:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-16 21:12:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
HA! I heard all about this the day after it went down.
Your version of events is quite... colorful.
Every single individual who has said that "this chick" is ugly is either 1) lying to desperately seem cool, 2) terribly jealous, or 3) can't fathom that women don't look the airbrushed photos in the spunk mags they hide under their beds at mummy's house.
------
well put
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-19 00:27:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If I ever make it to Hilton Head, I'm lookin yer ass up and we're gonna slam
beers and scotch and be in the headlines the next day.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-08-19 00:11:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good read
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-18 22:37:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Keep dreaming, fatso.
Submitted by FatTony (user info) at 2006-08-18 18:52:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish my cock was as long as his nose.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-08-18 18:27:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2006-08-16 21:59:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh Jesus Christ...look what I did.
------
HA! he won't help you now
Submitted by toucansam (user info) at 2006-08-18 17:55:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wish it was me!
Submitted by TonyMontana (user info) at 2006-08-18 16:38:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wow...you are one ugly ass motherfucker. i like how you embellish the story to make it seem like you had your way with her and then left...when in reality you convinced this bitch to take a picture with you before she ditched your snuffalupugus looking ass to hang out with her friends.
and by the way, your old ass 3 series bmw is proof that you're just some wannabe rich guy. you can't fool anyone you fucking peasant.
oh yeah, and nice hair, trump.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-18 13:49:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought that ghola would have more "staying power" than THIS, for shitsakes.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-18 08:57:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You owe me one gumball machine.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-08-18 08:19:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How did I miss this?
Oh yeah, too busy working and having my Squeezer Champion trophy engraved.
This was done fan-fucking-tastically.
NO BARE FEET
Submitted by I_love_Kracka (user info) at 2006-08-17 22:54:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I think I know you
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-17 22:33:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
total bullshit
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V
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-08-17 22:20:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2006-08-16 23:43:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-08-16 23:29:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
How does it make you feel that an 18 year old is driving a better BMW than you?
It might matter, if that 18 year old didn't have Mommy and Daddy buy it for him so he could drive the "coolest" car in his upper crust prep academy. Next time, tie that sweater tighter around your neck, faggot.
_____________
its funny because i went to public school and i bought my car.
generalizations are fun!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-17 21:31:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-08-17 21:26:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-17 21:16:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ghola hasn't really given us her opinion of Shlongy in the fleash
------
Shlongy is a rapist.
Fortunately for me, ghola LOVES rapists.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-08-17 21:29:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:03:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-08-17 14:38:40 (#)
Ranking: 0
Rob berg is fun to mess with because he actually gets pissed off. It's the same reason people like to fuck with TigerLilly - you're guaranteed to get a rise.
---
now now... I don't necessarily get pissed off.
Take you, for example. I think yer actually pretty boring, kind of a chicken shit, and just plain bitchy. Not even worth really being all that interested in, hardly upsetting.
Now JonnyX and his fucktard buddy jgreening DO get a little irritating at times... but don't tell them that, it will just encourage them to be even more annoying (if that is possible).
So, do you have anything witty to add, or is your entire game just as droll?
_______________________________
Nah, that's pretty much all I got. Thanks for being such a sport. I like the "yer" too, real cute.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-08-17 21:26:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-17 21:16:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ghola hasn't really given us her opinion of Shlongy in the fleash
------
Shlongy is a rapist.
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-08-17 21:21:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you look somewhat like the guy who played freddy kruegar (jesus I think I just massacred that name...)
but seriously, you kinda do.
please don't kill me in my dreams.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-17 21:16:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ghola hasn't really given us her opinion of Shlongy in the fleash, but everything
I've read from people who met him say he is a cool dude.
Kaelic and others: This is the fucking internet. If Shlongy in real life is what
he portrays on the site, he would be killed forthwith. HE'S FUCKING WITH YOUR
HEADS, FUCKTARDS!!!! Jebus, get a clue and calm down. . . :)
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-17 21:05:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by dr_weazel (user info) at 2006-08-17 00:18:49 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-16 23:40:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
the only BMW's better than a new 330 bob you spoiled little turd are the M3 the M5 and the 645/M6.
The Z4/M4 is a pile of cack.
I seriously doubt you are driving a NEW one of any of those.
This nigger knows his bmw's.
-----------
Calling the Z4/M4 a pile of cack, is just plain fucking stupid.
The Z4 M (the M4 is a completely different car, dumbass, so much for "This nigger knowing his BMWs") is fucking badass. It would leave a 330 choking on its vapour trail. """ oops i meant Z4M and it is cack are you saying you would rather have that than an M6?
Of course it's faster than a 330 you fucking tool it doesn't stop it being wank.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-17 18:19:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I meant to leave a +2 and say bob's a dipshit earlier, but I forgot.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-17 17:54:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Alright, night shift...take over. I'm off to Scrappy Hour for a couple.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:33:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'll fax it over.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:30:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Alright folks, I'm off to the lake for a long weekend of goodness.
See you nerds later... I had fun camping on yer post Shlongy, just send me an invoice.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:22:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It wasn't, dude. You know why? I just turned 24. By the time I'm your age (50), I'll be making much more than you. Firefighting is a job to finance my higher education. You might as well go back to driving by in your pinto and screaming at the kids on the playground who reject your advances that you make more money than they'll see until they get a part time job in high school.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:19:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought the "income" line was the final dagger...a nice touch.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:18:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:13:43 (#)
Ranking: -2
Such an internet tough guy, Daisy duke. You couldn't beat up a 12 year old, much less me. I weigh what? 205? You weigh what? 135? You aren't some sort of Ultimate fighter because you smeared some dirt under your lip and called it stubble, Schlongy, no matter how many Rambo movies you watch at home alone every night.
---
...seriously dude, you are far better at altruism than internet scrapping.
(...and for the record I think what you are doing for that Hannah kid and her family is pretty spectacular/heroic. People like you make the world a better place. Seriously. Now go save a kitten.)
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:13:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:04:39 (#)
Ranking: -2
After I beat your ass in front of the rest of your firehouse, it would be my pleasure to "out" you as the paedo/homo you obviously are.
Have fun bunking down with the boys, fagouche!
And remember, I make more $ in three months than you will be in a year. That's always nice to know, too!
Now go bake a cake, gaelic.
---
And that? Is what you will always be the Shlongy. God bless your bitter soul.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:13:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Such an internet tough guy, Daisy duke. You couldn't beat up a 12 year old, much less me. I weigh what? 205? You weigh what? 135? You aren't some sort of Ultimate fighter because you smeared some dirt under your lip and called it stubble, Schlongy, no matter how many Rambo movies you watch at home alone every night.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:11:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
kaelic can't give ANYTHING a rest...he's like the hyperactive kid that Mike Myers played on SNL...The one on the elsatic harness wearing the hockey helmet.
He never knows when to stop. And if I don't beat him, it's safe to say he'll last about two weeks in a firehouse before he gets nigga-piled.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:11:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
31% true eh?
truer than anything ive ever posted.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:04:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh dear, this is getting out of hand.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:04:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
After I beat your ass in front of the rest of your firehouse, it would be my pleasure to "out" you as the paedo/homo you obviously are.
Have fun bunking down with the boys, fagouche!
And remember, I make more $ in three months than you will be in a year. That's always nice to know, too!
Now go bake a cake, gaelic.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:00:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The only way you could take me, Daisy duke, is the same mechanism you use to get laid ... plenty of Rohypnol, you fucking chester the molester looking motherfucker.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:57:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Also, wipe that dirt off or whatever that shit is off from under your upper lip. Grow a beard, or don't. Well, I guess you can't from all the estrogen therapy, but you know what I mean.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:57:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:39:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
OH LOOK, HE INTERNET YAWNED, THAT SIGNIFIES FEIGNED INDIFFERENCE! You totally got me with that, I don't know how I'm going to come back from that.
You have definitely vanquished me with your superior intellect, you sad sack of shit. Just because you've replaced tea with snifters of brandy doesn't make it any less sad that you still have imaginary parties with your stuffed animal friends. It's not easy to come off as an incredibly boring, snobby asshole on paper, but you have absolutely perfected it, my friend.
Assholes like you that have to try and convince people of how aristocratic and intelligent, are two types of people:
1. The kind that find Jeff Foxworthy funny
2. The kind that haven't seen vagina since their mothers womb.
Which one are you? Don't stutter now, you faggot, the whole world is awaiting your reply with baited breat!
---
Ever think you might be boring?
Ever think that I have no desire to vanquish you with my superior intellect?
Notice how I didn't call you a name? Not one.
Is there a deeper reason why most of your insults are based on conjecture - and also be little more than homo erotic fantasy?
This would be digital, and if I come off as an incredibly boring, snobby asshole online AND I have absolutely perfected it... well then Hooray for me!
I am not trying to convince you of anything as that would be sheer folly. Someone of your towering arrogance and puffed up self importance is unlikely to be convinced of much.
I think Jeff Foxworthy is annoying... but he does occasionally make me giggle... and I got very laid last evening. So does that make me bi?
Hope the baited breath was worth it. (And I am not usually one for correcting spelling or typos, as I am borderline ilitrut without word.)
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:56:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Trust me, Barney Fife...I don't need 6 inches or 50 pounds to beat your ass from one end of the house to the other.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:55:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yes sir, Daisy duke, I'll get right on that as soon as you grow about six inches and get a hair transplant and put on about fifty pounds, I will do just that, Daisy duke, sir.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:47:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Kaelic- You're a genius.
The "Racing Form" is for thoroughbred racing, you fucking imbecile.
Now kindly stick a firehose firmly up your ass and shut the fuck up, ya goddamn retard.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:46:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
That's a good comparison of the "athlete" you most resemble, Schlongy: Dale Earnhardt. You shit your pants while sitting down for long periods of time, and hopefully, you'll die in a fiery car accident while your "fans" cheer on.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:42:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:40:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Would you like to correct my spelling of "breath", or should I do it for you? I know you will, champ, i don't want you to pull an internet muscle attacking me.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:39:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My posts read like the Racing Form;
Great early speed, as I jump out of the gates with solid +2's....halfway through the backstretch, the retards show up with some second rate insults and some -2's...the fans keep cheering with +2's so the post hangs with the leaders until the home stretch...where all the total loser assholes bury the post in an avalanche of -2's, lowering the rating to the usual +.27 and another cheap fold up for Shlongy's post at the finish line.
Cheap speed never holds up.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:39:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OH LOOK, HE INTERNET YAWNED, THAT SIGNIFIES FEIGNED INDIFFERENCE! You totally got me with that, I don't know how I'm going to come back from that.
You have definitely vanquished me with your superior intellect, you sad sack of shit. Just because you've replaced tea with snifters of brandy doesn't make it any less sad that you still have imaginary parties with your stuffed animal friends. It's not easy to come off as an incredibly boring, snobby asshole on paper, but you have absolutely perfected it, my friend.
Assholes like you that have to try and convince people of how aristocratic and intelligent, are two types of people:
1. The kind that find Jeff Foxworthy funny
2. The kind that haven't seen vagina since their mothers womb.
Which one are you? Don't stutter now, you faggot, the whole world is awaiting your reply with baited breat!
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:25:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
I wonder if getting a blowback into your ass makes you high.
Rob_Berg?
---
Are you hitting on me?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:38:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:22:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Whatever makes him believe he's more "intelligent". This guy blows so much smoke up his own ass, it's not even funny
---
Far more intelligent than some. At least as, if not more intelligent than you.
...and yes, I obviously think I am terribly amusing much the same as you are clearly your biggest fan.
So what?
You just chime in to prove you have a big Uber Dick? Nice work. Well we are all suitably impressed.
Isn't there some sort of clean up on aisle 9 that needs attention?
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:33:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Woody Harrelson's ugly brother auto -2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:31:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:14:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't quote me on this, but I'm pretty sure that raging homo Rob Berg does his grocery shopping with a smoking jacket on, a pipe hanging from his thin, ashy lips, and pink fuzzy slippers on his deformed feet.
---
OH! I've awoken the big ole cranky (v)... yawn.
Can't you after all the hours of logged idiocy on this site move past the need to call everyone a homo?
Its boring... and you are far from it. You are very enjoyable, really.
oh, and I have full lips.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:26:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're such a faggot, Daisy duke. Just keep on being that old internet tough guy, I forgive and pity you.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:25:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wonder if getting a blowback into your ass makes you high.
Rob_Berg?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:22:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whatever makes him believe he's more "intelligent". This guy blows so much smoke up his own ass, it's not even funny
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:16:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I won't quote you, but you probably aren't far off.
You think he might wear a monocle, too? Like Col. Klink?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:14:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't quote me on this, but I'm pretty sure that raging homo Rob Berg does his grocery shopping with a smoking jacket on, a pipe hanging from his thin, ashy lips, and pink fuzzy slippers on his deformed feet.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:05:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cat fight in Shlongy's post!
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:03:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-08-17 14:38:40 (#)
Ranking: 0
Rob berg is fun to mess with because he actually gets pissed off. It's the same reason people like to fuck with TigerLilly - you're guaranteed to get a rise.
---
now now... I don't necessarily get pissed off.
Take you, for example. I think yer actually pretty boring, kind of a chicken shit, and just plain bitchy. Not even worth really being all that interested in, hardly upsetting.
Now JonnyX and his fucktard buddy jgreening DO get a little irritating at times... but don't tell them that, it will just encourage them to be even more annoying (if that is possible).
So, do you have anything witty to add, or is your entire game just as droll?
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-08-17 14:41:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-08-16 23:29:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
How does it make you feel that an 18 year old is driving a better BMW than you?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How does it feel to be to be proud of something you didn't work for?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-08-17 14:38:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Rob berg is fun to mess with because he actually gets pissed off. It's the same reason people like to fuck with TigerLilly - you're guaranteed to get a rise.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-17 14:28:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-17 13:54:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
--------
it's funny, rob_berg has a sign on his back that says 'kick me', and doesn't even know it.
---
Good Christ you are pathetic... although delightfully predictable that something so mindless would actually be something you enjoyed.
I wouldn't doubt you were actually a victim of such foolishness... what with your penchant for being so incredibly unlikable and generally useless.
God knows yer a nerd.
You need a hug?
Submitted by humpty (user info) at 2006-08-17 14:20:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You look like that devilfish guy http://images.google.com/images?q=devil+fish+ulliot&ndsp=20&svnum=10&hl=en&lr=&start=0&sa=N
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-17 13:54:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-16 22:51:36 (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-08-16 21:51:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Witnessing a battle of wits between rob berg and Bubba is like watching two cripples in a fistfight.
---
You felt that unoriginal barb was actually worth typing up? Are you trying to look relevant you boring chicken shit troll?
--------
it's funny, rob_berg has a sign on his back that says 'kick me', and doesn't even know it.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-08-17 13:47:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually you look like the love child of Robert Englund and Sting. Not that I want to do you or anything.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-08-17 13:46:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuckin Christ you look like Freddie Krueger.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-17 13:07:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Anyone watching the PGA?
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2006-08-17 11:20:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHA you about 55.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-17 11:17:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I DO actually have an idea and some more pictures of another "event", but it's more exciting making the fans - both of you- wait 4 months between posts.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-08-17 11:13:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Make your next post a picture of your new Volkswagen.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-17 10:58:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe I could just repost one of those old ones?
Or, maybe you could send me some more nude photos, as promised.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-08-17 10:52:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-17 10:29:40 (#)
Ranking: 0
Since I'm obviously one of "Uber's Best Posters", I am now taking requests as to what my next post should be about.
Leave your requests here in this post, and I will get back to you with my thoughts...and a personalized, autographed 8" x 10" of this photo.
-----------------
I can't decide. On the one hand, I enjoyed such posts as "Shlongy hears a who" and that one you did about fixing Ubersite.
Then again, I enjoy hearing about how much money you make and how capitalism in the western world would colapse if you didn't put in a few hours before heading out to the golf course.
Mostly about money though.
See, I don't have a lot of it myself and find talk of it fascinating.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-08-17 10:41:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-17 10:33:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey...I like to rape and pillage, too.
let's hang out!
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-08-17 10:32:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
one day I hope to be like you.
until then I'll just continue with the raping and pillaging.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-08-17 10:31:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Get a VW Golf R32. Looks nice, and goes like stink.
http://www.volkswagen.co.uk/r32/flash/
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-17 10:29:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Since I'm obviously one of "Uber's Best Posters", I am now taking requests as to what my next post should be about.
Leave your requests here in this post, and I will get back to you with my thoughts...and a personalized, autographed 8" x 10" of this photo.
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-08-17 10:27:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I may not be the sexiest manwhore on the market but I will say that your nose resembles that which I fear finding in a 'womans' panties someday.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-17 10:20:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I had no idea that this car was a $41,000 piece of shit until everyone informed me of this.
Good thing I have Uber to set me straight.
I'm trading it in tomorrow for Volkswagon.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-17 10:18:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-08-16 23:29:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
How does it make you feel that an 18 year old is driving a better BMW than you?
--------
That's it, I know where this smarmy little rich boy faggot lives, I'm going to his house and strangling him with his own umbilical cord, and then smashing his fucking mom and dad in the face with a ball peen hammer for spoiling him like the little asshole that he is
When you come out of your house in the morning around noon, Bob, just like you do every morning because you're a spoiled little faggot, just tell the cops that "Method smashed all my windows and slashed my tires"
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-17 10:13:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"WE'RE NUMBER ONE! WE'RE NUMBER ONE!"
Anyone have one of those big, foam "number one" fingers they can send me for a day?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-17 10:04:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Agreed.
Down with the psycho, up with the Shlong.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-17 09:54:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There's lots of hidden stuff in this post.
If you read line 41 backwards, you'll get free flowers sent to your desk and your computer will shut down.
Anything to get that fucking nutball off the top of Most Heated.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-08-17 09:54:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
shlongy has nice eyes.
oh yeah ghola's cute too.
dude, where's my cash?
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-08-17 09:49:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Incidently - your title had me running to drag out a cd.
Well done reminding me how much I love that tune.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-08-17 09:49:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
One day I'm gonna go to SC, just to have a drink and play a decent 9 or 18 with the Shlongman.
One day.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-17 08:42:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
More funny?
Ever read Dave Barry?
This is a direct ripoff...only more comical.
Read it again. After you have a few drinks.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-08-17 08:00:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good, mildly entertaining post. Could have used a little more funny to spice it up...and jeez, I wasn't too far off with my description of the shnozz.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-08-17 06:09:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-08-16 22:17:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll never understand where all the Shlongy hate comes from.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-08-17 05:34:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
peddler
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-08-17 03:33:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what an ugly redfaced jewish cunt, I wish you had been born in 1925, Warsaw
Submitted by dr_weazel (user info) at 2006-08-17 00:18:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-16 23:40:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
the only BMW's better than a new 330 bob you spoiled little turd are the M3 the M5 and the 645/M6.
The Z4/M4 is a pile of cack.
I seriously doubt you are driving a NEW one of any of those.
This nigger knows his bmw's.
-----------
Calling the Z4/M4 a pile of cack, is just plain fucking stupid.
The Z4 M (the M4 is a completely different car, dumbass, so much for "This nigger knowing his BMWs") is fucking badass. It would leave a 330 choking on its vapour trail.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-17 00:06:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-16 23:04:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-16 22:57:00 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-16 22:45:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
---
And you?
Yer just boring. This puppy dog ass munching shtick you do with Jack and Shlongy is sure cute though.
Perhaps you three should plan one of those magical trips.
))))))
Ignorant fuckweed. A magical mystery tour would not include you, for you are
way too young to be included. Plus, puberty is ten years down the road for you. . ..
---
yes. I'm 3.
re: tard.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-17 00:00:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-16 23:00:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-08-16 22:54:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-16 22:51:36 (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-08-16 21:51:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Witnessing a battle of wits between rob berg and Bubba is like watching two cripples in a fistfight.
---
You felt that unoriginal barb was actually worth typing up? Are you trying to look relevant you boring chicken shit troll?
_____________________
Nah, I was just trying to make you puff up like a Cornish game hen. Looks like it worked.___________________________
Far out!!! $2.59 per pound? Cornish Game Hen? Robbie, you are a worthless fuckface. :)
----
Yup, nothing sez smarts like replyin' to the wrong post.
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2006-08-16 23:43:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-08-16 23:29:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
How does it make you feel that an 18 year old is driving a better BMW than you?
It might matter, if that 18 year old didn't have Mommy and Daddy buy it for him so he could drive the "coolest" car in his upper crust prep academy. Next time, tie that sweater tighter around your neck, faggot.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-16 23:40:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the only BMW's better than a new 330 bob you spoiled little turd are the M3 the M5 and the 645/M6.
The Z4/M4 is a pile of cack.
I seriously doubt you are driving a NEW one of any of those.
This nigger knows his bmw's.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-08-16 23:29:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How does it make you feel that an 18 year old is driving a better BMW than you?
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-08-16 23:28:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice content.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-08-16 23:28:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
christ at the heat.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-16 23:18:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-08-16 23:14:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
An ugly cunt and a cute pussy.
That's a wash.
______________________
The Uniter does not wash his pussy, and it smells like rotten tuna. . .
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-08-16 23:14:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
An ugly cunt and a cute pussy.
That's a wash.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-16 23:08:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-08-16 23:01:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Well I'm officially out of my element and drunk as hell. TIme for bed.
________________________
"Goodnight, sweetheart, well it's time to go (doo doo + do wah)
Nite, Schweeteethearrrrt. Good night.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-16 23:04:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-16 22:57:00 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-16 22:45:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
---
And you?
Yer just boring. This puppy dog ass munching shtick you do with Jack and Shlongy is sure cute though.
Perhaps you three should plan one of those magical trips.
))))))
Ignorant fuckweed. A magical mystery tour would not include you, for you are
way too young to be included. Plus, puberty is ten years down the road for you. . ..
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-08-16 23:01:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well I'm officially out of my element and drunk as hell. TIme for bed.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-16 23:00:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-08-16 22:54:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-16 22:51:36 (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-08-16 21:51:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Witnessing a battle of wits between rob berg and Bubba is like watching two cripples in a fistfight.
---
You felt that unoriginal barb was actually worth typing up? Are you trying to look relevant you boring chicken shit troll?
_____________________
Nah, I was just trying to make you puff up like a Cornish game hen. Looks like it worked.___________________________
Far out!!! $2.59 per pound? Cornish Game Hen? Robbie, you are a worthless fuckface. :)
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-16 22:57:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-16 22:45:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
---
And you?
Yer just boring. This puppy dog ass munching shtick you do with Jack and Shlongy is sure cute though.
Perhaps you three should plan one of those magical trips.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-08-16 22:54:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-16 22:51:36 (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-08-16 21:51:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Witnessing a battle of wits between rob berg and Bubba is like watching two cripples in a fistfight.
---
You felt that unoriginal barb was actually worth typing up? Are you trying to look relevant you boring chicken shit troll?
_____________________
Nah, I was just trying to make you puff up like a Cornish game hen. Looks like it worked.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-16 22:51:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-08-16 21:51:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Witnessing a battle of wits between rob berg and Bubba is like watching two cripples in a fistfight.
---
You felt that unoriginal barb was actually worth typing up? Are you trying to look relevant you boring chicken shit troll?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-16 22:45:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-16 22:41:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-16 21:43:08 (#)
Ranking: -2
I think the expression is "crackpot", Hymie.
---
Negative, I meant "crank pot" - as in cranky old asshole who sits on the porch and yells at the paperboy.
If you prefer crackpot, that is fine- it IS your post, after all.
crack pot.
___))))))
You can't read, can you, dipstick?? The word Shlongy tried to show you was
crackpot. One word, no spaces in between. Fucking moron. :)
Ooooops. You got it right the first time, but later you fucked up. As always. . .
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-16 22:42:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-08-16 22:32:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's hug it out bitch
__________________
Great. I hug you, rub your boobies and your ass, and you snort in disgust at the
obviously small size of my weenie. I, however, will never tell the masses about the problem. :)
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-16 22:41:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-16 21:43:08 (#)
Ranking: -2
I think the expression is "crackpot", Hymie.
---
Negative, I meant "crank pot" - as in cranky old asshole who sits on the porch and yells at the paperboy.
If you prefer crackpot, that is fine- it IS your post, after all.
crack pot.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-08-16 22:32:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's hug it out bitch
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-16 22:28:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jeannnnnneeeee, (sp?) just so