do you want to be in my gang? - AND- other bonus content (2598 hits)
Category: RomanceLabels: crap
Rating: 1.37 on 150 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by scourge - phoning it in and still kicking ass (View user info) at 2006-08-17 15:46:00 EDT
1.) Ubersite is a place that is centered upon popularity, how 'COOL' you are or appear to be to your fellow users. Some people are only slightly cool, i.e., most of that list of thirty people over on the left side of the page (with one or two notable exceptions. we'll get to them later. Maybe. If I feel like it)
THEN you have your super celebrities on Ubersite: ghola, Shlongy, Orgasmo, badassmofo, Method...and, of course, saving the best for last, ME.
I am UBERcool. It's true. Ask around if you need to.
I've noticed a lot of new users around. This should be particularly appealing to you.
Now, you can take part of this cool with you! Exciting, right?
As we can see from nature, not everyone can be the dominant being in the environment. The lion rules the savanna. The mighty elephant proceeds unmolested through the jungles of the subcontinent. The fearsome shark patrols the world's oceans, fearing nothing.
Well...THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO BE A PART OF IT ALL!!!!!
No, you can't possibly be one of the sharks. You're either born a shark or you aren't, sorry. You CAN however be a remora fish. You know...the thing that sucks onto a sharks belly in hopes other Ubersite users will think it's cool? Yep, this is your chance to be that guy. The professional hanger on, as it were.
For the first time ever, I'm allowing you the chance to interview to be in my Uber-gang.
'Why would you want to do that?', you may ask.
'Fuck you, you're obviously not cooool enough to be in my gang', I'd say.
Here's your opportunity, don't fuck it up.
Answer these few simple questions and leave me a few examples of your Uber work - be it posts or even just some particularly nasty reviews you're proud of - in a review below.
a.)Will you always +2 the posts of other members of the gang? (not necessary, I just like to see how much boot my lackeys are willing to lick)
b.)Will you do my bidding here on Uber? (I'm the leader, I hope you know the correct, three letter answer to this question)
c.)Shlongy is really a cunt, isn't he?
d.)ETS - for or against?
e.)If female, would you be willing to show me naked photographs of yourself, your sisters, female cousins, mothers, aunts and similarly genitaled friends?
f.)Tell me I'm cool. Go ahead, just do it.
g.)Shlongy is also a member of the gang, whether he likes it or not. We need a rich guy with good taste in booze and women on board the team. Be careful how you answer question #c, it's a tricky one. (hint, the answer is still yes)
h.)If I demanded it, would you fetch me a coffee and then allow me to use your back as my coffee table?
i.)Will you offer to sexually gratify the socially better members of the gang? How about if they ask for anal?
j.)Too many fucking questions. Feel free to answer only a few. Or none. Why should I give a fuck about your future Uber popularity?
That just about wraps up this portion of this post. Don't forget the links below.
Oh yeah, bribes will be helpful in the selection process. I like Irish Whiskey, expensive beer, and boobs.
2.) My campaign to have Bart alter my account to cause me to have a permanently assigned ranking of +2 is faring poorly.
Though I have fought the good fight, he is unrelenting...even going so far as to refuse to answer my emails on the subject.
Please remember to send your daily email, via the CONTACT link on the upper right corner of your screen telling this tyrant that he must meet our demands.
I'll see his head on a pole outside my office door once my gang gets a little bigger. Just you fucking wait. While I'm thinking about it, any applicants from Chicago will receive preferential treatment in the selection process. Must be willing to engage in the decapitation of humans.
3.) It has occurred to me that urban youths, AKA young negroes, have decided upon a certain fashion that makes them appear to be emulating old white grandmothers. Seriously, look at the list that follows and tell me I'm wrong:
Ill fitting, ugly clothing:
Old woman? Check
Urban youth? Check
False teeth:
Old woman? Check
Urban youth? Check
Music/television turned up far too loud:
Old woman? Check
Urban youth? Check
Gaudy, fake jewelry (sometimes referred to as 'bling'):
Old woman? Check
Urban youth? Check
Hair styled in a manner that doesn't allow it to be washed for weeks at a time:
Old woman? Check
Urban youth? Check
Can't see over the steering wheel of their giant automobile:
Old woman? Check
Urban youth? Check
This bothers me a great deal. Those hooligans are stealing the heritage...the history...THE PROUD CULTURE of white grandmas everywhere. I'm only glad my grandmothers are all dead and unable to see this veritable rape of them and their proud grandmother tradition.
Does anyone have any thoughts on how we can halt the onslaught against the memory of grandmothers? This is a serious cry for help on my part.
4.) I'm going to lunch. The Oktoberfest style beers have finally hit the stores again. I may not come back this afternoon. Yum.
User Reviews
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-05-18 12:52:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-10-31 22:29:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've had it up to here with your shennanigans, I'm going through and +2ing ALL of your posts!
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-27 14:45:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I LOVE MYSELF!!
SIGNED,
SCOURGEY
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:44:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:39:58 (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/95020#2202073
banning attempt
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2006-08-31 21:14:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*muah*
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2006-08-30 21:55:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are officially invited to D-Prime Madness III: http://www.ubersite.com/m/92455
I am going to have an ADD round on another user's suggestion. Seeing as I just realized that you did this originally, I will give you credit whenever this round is referenced from now on (but if you try to take away my right to do it.... STFU!!!!1111!!!!one!!11!!!two!!!!1!!!1one.)
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-08-22 00:25:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bwahahahahahahaha
Sigh - another list I didn't make...
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-08-21 23:54:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-21 19:42:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'M WITH YOU, COLEY.
Except that I prefer boxer briefs to togas.
Are you agreeable to this?
===============
Mmm, I suppose..I'd say it's a hierarchy; first place being commando, then boxer briefs, then togas.
Dammit don't make me think about these things.
It's distracting.
Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-08-21 22:45:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oktoberfest auto plus 2. And I want to be in the gang. I know a good T-Shirt guy?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-21 22:28:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh you'll be thrown down if you gotta.
Thrown down on the hood of a muscle car while I lay claim to my territory.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-08-21 22:21:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wait a minute...
Shlongy's Rick Flair?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-21 22:19:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nah, I'm just showin' I won't be dissed and I'll throw down if I gotta.
Lishy's representin' for Scourge's crew. YOU KNOW.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-21 22:05:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You girls should form your own crew and go all Sin City like.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-21 19:42:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'M WITH YOU, COLEY.
Except that I prefer boxer briefs to togas.
Are you agreeable to this?
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-08-21 18:00:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lishy, we all know that you and I are the true leaders of this gang, and all the boys are but slaves to our every whim. I demand back rubs and fanning with palm leaves, not to mention the feeding of grapes by all the menz in togas.
WHAT SAY YOU
ARE YOU WITH ME
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-21 17:41:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:D
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-21 17:37:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You ARE one of the Ric Flairs!!!
Cool your shit.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-21 17:30:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, I am most certainly NOT kidding.
How you gonna say I'm not a leader? After all we've been through? After I won UberBattle and everything? How you gonna make the same mistake other gangs make, and treat your women like we're some sort of second class citizens or some shit?
FUCK THIS NOISE.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-08-21 17:26:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't mean, it scourge. Me and Lish would never leave the gang.
Not with all the awesomeness within it.
Can we get matching tattoos?
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-08-21 17:19:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, watch it; me and Sacrilicious could have our OWN gang.....
YOU BEST NOT STEP TO THIS
Submitted by Feety (user info) at 2006-08-21 17:11:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
me and my crew - the Prenata' Haytas - are gonna fuck your gang up good, mr. scourge.
we run all that funky shit from the docks to the park. be advised.
check yoself.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-08-21 17:08:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I AM NOT A JACKET!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-21 17:04:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I REJECT YOUR PATRIARCHAL BULLSHIT LEADERSHIP AND I'M TAKING MY JACKET AND COLEY WITH ME.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-21 17:03:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOuld you like to suck my balls, amateurs?
If you step on my turf, I'll fuck you like a $45 hooker and leave you for dead. Like a $45 hooker.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-08-21 16:59:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I HAVE FLAIR
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-21 16:56:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
?
??
???
AW, HELL NO
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-21 16:44:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The Ric Flair spots have been assigned.
The Ric Flairs will post tomorrow with a warning to stay off their turf and to watch it about stepping on they new White Nikes.
Word.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-08-21 16:21:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*throws up gang signs*
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-21 16:18:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mick Foley needed 25 stitches after Ric Flair got done with him last night.
The man is an inspiration to us all.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-21 16:07:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, you are one of the 4 Ric Flairs, Jake. I am sorry, but your allegiance to the land of tea and crumpets is secondary to the gang. Way it is.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-08-21 15:17:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I represent the Northern tribes of England.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-08-21 14:55:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-18 14:50:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-18 14:38:07 (#)
Ranking: -2
100.
And I'm more in with the Brits than scourge is, Hilarity.
Come to the dark side.
---
Fuck that.
redskieslookfake is one of the Ric Flairs. And Berty and TTOM are sure to join with him. It's true.
aj's gang consists only of assholy and badassmofo right now. Those guys will just rape you and generally abuse you. Unless thats what you're looking for, in which case they are all impotent and meek.
My gang offers a 401K and free coffee at the clubhouse. Starbucks.
-----------
I'm allergic to coffee :(
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-08-21 13:13:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I will only play if I get to pick the colors.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-21 13:06:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
deservedly so, my gang is quite popular
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-08-21 12:57:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow this got a lot of heat.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-08-21 12:04:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:47:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
A lot of the shitbags around here won't get the humor in this. So many people live in a 2D world.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-18 17:56:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HI RUTHLESS, it's good to see you.
Happy weekend, everyone.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2006-08-18 17:36:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not yet. A year from today, actually.
I actually don't have much time for Uber (or anything else) these days.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-18 17:35:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought you had outgrown Uber and left for good, aka the sensible thing to do.
Are you married yet?
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2006-08-18 17:28:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SCOURGEY!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-18 17:27:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
RUTHY!
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2006-08-18 17:24:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:05:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
I've made peace with my uncoolness. But here's a +2 for you anyway for the old woman/urban youth comparison.
====
Yo.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-18 17:19:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/91959#2107307
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-18 17:19:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're both in.
Fuck you aj, now I got the Brits.
Leather jackets with Shark patches all around!!!!
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-08-18 17:13:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where was I?
I am sure you are aware that my belly is the leader of the UberBrits.
Include me and you automatically get the rest of the brits by default.
Bloody heathen.
-Dave
Submitted by jade_digitalmedia (user info) at 2006-08-18 17:01:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ooo ooo pick me!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-18 15:20:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2006-08-18 15:01:16 (#)
Ranking: -2
What the fuck is this retarded shit?
---
I think the answer to that question could be found by reading the post, noodle dick.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2006-08-18 15:01:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What the fuck is this retarded shit?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-18 14:50:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-18 14:38:07 (#)
Ranking: -2
100.
And I'm more in with the Brits than scourge is, Hilarity.
Come to the dark side.
---
Fuck that.
redskieslookfake is one of the Ric Flairs. And Berty and TTOM are sure to join with him. It's true.
aj's gang consists only of assholy and badassmofo right now. Those guys will just rape you and generally abuse you. Unless thats what you're looking for, in which case they are all impotent and meek.
My gang offers a 401K and free coffee at the clubhouse. Starbucks.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-18 14:44:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The breasted ones can be the valets.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-18 14:38:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
100.
And I'm more in with the Brits than scourge is, Hilarity.
Come to the dark side.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-18 14:24:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-18 14:20:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
5 or 6 Ric Flairs now?
More dicks on the cookie = less chocolate chips for Orgasmatoad.
---
Well, there are some people who need to be included. People with breasts. I have a weakness for those and, you know, it's hard to say 'NO' when they're just there in your face, all perky and be-nippled.
I'm not even sure what's going on in the world when I have what I like to call 'boob fever' going on. That's almost always.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-18 14:20:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
5 or 6 Ric Flairs now?
More dicks on the cookie = less chocolate chips for Orgasmatoad.
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2006-08-18 14:17:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
a.)Will you always +2 the posts of other members of the gang? (not necessary, I just like to see how much boot my lackeys are willing to lick)
b.)Will you do my bidding here on Uber? (I'm the leader, I hope you know the correct, three letter answer to this question)
c.)Shlongy is really a cunt, isn't he?
d.)ETS - for or against?
e.)If female, would you be willing to show me naked photographs of yourself, your sisters, female cousins, mothers, aunts and similarly genitaled friends?
f.)Tell me I'm cool. Go ahead, just do it.
g.)Shlongy is also a member of the gang, whether he likes it or not. We need a rich guy with good taste in booze and women on board the team. Be careful how you answer question #c, it's a tricky one. (hint, the answer is still yes)
h.)If I demanded it, would you fetch me a coffee and then allow me to use your back as my coffee table?
i.)Will you offer to sexually gratify the socially better members of the gang? How about if they ask for anal?
j.)Too many fucking questions. Feel free to answer only a few. Or none. Why should I give a fuck about your future Uber popularity?
--------------------
a. +2 for everybody
b. Leaders die eventually
c yeah
all i feel like answering.
Gang wars so so destructive.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-18 14:07:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-18 13:46:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-08-18 12:52:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-18 12:41:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait a minute..leadership roles are being doled out?
Everyone knows I'm the alpha female.
----------
Only cause I let you think that
-------
OOH, BREASTS VS. EYEBROWS, WHO WILL WIN?
===
HAHAHAHA
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-18 13:46:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-08-18 12:52:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-18 12:41:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait a minute..leadership roles are being doled out?
Everyone knows I'm the alpha female.
----------
Only cause I let you think that
-------
OOH, BREASTS VS. EYEBROWS, WHO WILL WIN?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-18 13:04:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I asked Professional Peon to be my friend on myspace and she ignored me. I even sent her a picture of my massive piece when she requested it.
How can I be the most popular internet boy when people ignore myspace friend requests from me?
Maybe we need 5 or 6 Ric Flairs to cover all the bases.
We'll take a vote on it later, after I recover from the heartbreak.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-08-18 12:52:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-18 12:41:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait a minute..leadership roles are being doled out?
Everyone knows I'm the alpha female.
----------
Only cause I let you think that
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-18 12:41:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait a minute..leadership roles are being doled out?
Everyone knows I'm the alpha female.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-08-18 12:38:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Matt, there's freshmeat on the front page. Wanna run her off, Mandy-incident style?
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-08-18 12:28:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/91985#2106793
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-18 12:25:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-18 12:18:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, awesome. A leadership role.
I'm in then.
I almost went off and made my own gang, "The Gayer than Homosexuality Homosexual Homos."
---
THEY ALREADY HAVE THIS GANG, O-MAN.
IT'S CALLED 'UBERSITE'
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-08-18 12:24:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Since I'm in a leadership roll, can I mistreat and sexually harrass all the men beneath me at my discretion?
O-tron - What is it about my tounge that has captivated your interest so?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-18 12:18:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, awesome. A leadership role.
I'm in then.
I almost went off and made my own gang, "The Gayer than Homosexuality Homosexual Homos."
I think that Hilarity needs to prove herself capable by showing us how long her tongue is.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-18 12:04:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
THE 4 RIC FLAIRS ARE IN CHARGE. EVERYONE ELSE IS A LIEUTENANT OR A WHIPPING BOY. YOU HAVE TO PROVE YOURSELF TO BE A LIEUTENANT.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-08-18 11:56:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You need to make a list, stating who's in the gang and what their title is. That way, there's no confusion. You don't want fellow gang members bustin' a cap in eachother ass due to miscommunication.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-18 11:50:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sweet, we need more chicks in my gang.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-08-18 11:40:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Although I wish I were on drugs, sadly I am not. Hey, it never hurts a girl to ask....
Upon the understanding quoted in previous conversation, I shall forward my signed and notorized recruitment papers, pending my offical induction into the executive tier of your organization per the standardized gender/race requirements.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-18 11:27:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-08-18 11:05:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
Now, as I am the token Merikan in the British gang, I must first inquire if this will be a problem in joining either Scourgie's or AJ's gang?
And what kind of benefits are you offering for recruitment?
==
BENEFITS?
ARE YOU ON FUCKING DRUGS?
The benefit is you would get to be in the gang. Period.
AND, if you're even considering GayJ's gang, you are probably not suitable for mine.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-18 11:24:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wooooooooooooo!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-18 11:17:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-18 11:02:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
You're in the gang.
A lieutenant.
An enforcer, if you will.
You'll be the one tapped to remove cilfones head, most likely.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
I humbly accept this honor, good sir.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-08-18 11:05:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now, as I am the token Merikan in the British gang, I must first inquire if this will be a problem in joining either Scourgie's or AJ's gang?
And what kind of benefits are you offering for recruitment?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-18 11:02:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're in the gang.
A lieutenant.
An enforcer, if you will.
You'll be the one tapped to remove cilfones head, most likely.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-18 11:00:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm still curious on what role you expect me to play in all this...
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-18 10:45:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
firefly: is it because of the Tom Cruise you want to be in aj's gang? FOR SHAME. You're a married woman.
BlitzKrieg Bob: it's on, bitch. My gang is finna (is that how you spell it? my grasp of the 'urban' language is shakey at best) roll up on your crizzib and shizzoot you. Fo' reals.
everyone else: the Oktoberfest beer was delicious
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-08-18 10:14:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would like to be in aj's gang, but I did like this post.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-08-18 10:10:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
part 3 is very valid.
ps - i am not a remora.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2006-08-18 09:29:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm here for the gangbang.
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2006-08-18 07:07:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Already in the Brit-gang. Sorry.
>dances threateningly, Westside Story style<
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-08-18 04:18:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
theres a hofbrauhaus in las vegas
in other words, its fucking oktoberfest all year long.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-08-18 04:00:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't want to be in a gang..
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-08-18 03:22:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here are some links, Mr Scourge. Please don't +2 them without reading them.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90663
http://www.ubersite.com/m/91878
Thank you.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-08-18 01:50:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
MOTHS AND ATHESISTS!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-08-18 01:50:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
(Writing this as I remember it...swear I'm not cheating)
Guerilla bands are rolling numbers in the next block of green vine -
amassing for warfare on innocent herdsmen who are just dying.
Oh Great creator of being, grant us one more hour to perform our art
and perfect our lives.
The ?children? are doubly devine and dying.
shit... stumped. I used to be able to recite this whole fucking thing. Celebration of the Lizard too.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-08-18 01:46:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-17 22:30:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
My gang will get you
Scenes of rape in the arroyo
Seduction in cars, abandoned buildings
Fights at the food stand
The dust
the shoes
Open shirts and raised collars
Bright sculptured hair.
Hey man, you want girls, pills, grass? C'mon...
I show you good time.
This place has everything. C'mon...
I show you.
- JM
------------------------
Do you know the warm progress under the stars?
Do you know we exist?
Have you forgotten the keys to the kingdom?
Have you been born yet and are you alive?
Let's reinvent the gods, all the myths of the ages...
Celebrate symbols from deep, elder forests.
Have you forgotten the lessons of the ancient war?
We need great, golden copulations.
The fathers are cackling in trees of the forest.
Our mother is dead in the sea.
Do you know we are being led to slaughters by placid admirals
and that fat, slow generals are getting obscene on young blood?
Do you know we are ruled by TV?
The moon is a dry blood beast.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-08-18 00:51:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You don't answer emails so i don't WANT to be in your gang.
Yes, Shlongy is a cunt, but he's a cunt with class and I think he's just peachy.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-08-18 00:40:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I +2 you because you +2 EVERYTHING, and that should be worth something. I'd send you money, but I'm not going to.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-08-17 23:36:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Call your gang "The Fags".
It'll give you tons of street cred.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-17 22:30:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My gang will get you
Scenes of rape in the arroyo
Seduction in cars, abandoned buildings
Fights at the food stand
The dust
the shoes
Open shirts and raised collars
Bright sculptured hair.
Hey man, you want girls, pills, grass? C'mon...
I show you good time.
This place has everything. C'mon...
I show you.
- JM
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2006-08-17 22:19:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would offer my good posts but they all have about 50 hits so I doubt anybody remembers them anyway.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-08-17 21:41:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No clans for me; I'm a loner. You're still cool though.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-08-17 20:59:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i like b eing cool
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-08-17 20:24:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-17 20:02:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate to even ask what role I'm expected to play in all this...
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2006-08-17 19:52:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I dibn't understand but adam and the ants are ace and i don;'t know if it;'s even the right band but twas a good somng.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-17 19:38:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-08-17 18:08:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't wanna be in your club; I have my own man-harem.
Kind of.
I'm working on it.
===
No Coley..see..that's the beauty of these things. You can have both..like this:
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:10:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
scourgeoftheseas is my ubersqueeze.
Phuzzygish is my ubercrush.
Redskieslookfake is my ubercabanaboy.
ghola is my uberwife.
Orgasmatron is my uberhusband.
See?
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-08-17 18:23:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i thought pirates had crews not gangs...
YAR HAR HAR AND A BOX OF RUBIX CUBES and whatnot..
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-08-17 18:08:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't wanna be in your club; I have my own man-harem.
Kind of.
I'm working on it.
+2 for white grandmas and young urban gangstas
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-17 18:07:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not really, I just wanted to give you a -2 and garner a few more worthless hits.
Score 1 for the getting off the pot gang.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-17 18:06:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I just realized this is a blatant rip-off of my Adopt a User! post.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-17 17:52:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
btw i was playing a crossword type game at buffalo wild wings and one of the words was scourge, i laughed and everyone thought i was stupid.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-17 17:52:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I dont want tom cruise inside of me.
Am i in the gang yet?
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-08-17 17:45:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Screw that, I am starting another gang with all us ubers who sit in the wings, we will be called the BackDoor Gang...
I mean the Background Gang
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-17 17:44:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A VOTE FOR SCOURGE IS A VOTE FOR CUNNILINGUS
UP WITH CUNNILINGUS
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-17 17:32:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh yeah. And this.
My gang is WAY cooler than the other.
I mean look at their shitty name: 'The Jets'
Are you fucking kidding me? Jets?
That makes me think of Top Gun. If you want to be a Jet, it means you want to have Tom Cruise inside of you. Be my guest with that one, you bunch of fucking homos.
Now if you want to be a Shark, it means you want to eat that lady from the beginning of Jaws. (I hope she was hot, but I don't care enough to google it and see)
Your choice, Uber. Man love from Tom Crise -OR- cunnilingus. I think the right answer is crystal clear.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-17 17:31:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:16:22 (#)
Ranking: -2
signing up for AJ's gang, officially
---
No great loss.
AJ's gang should be klnown as the human oddity gang. You wanna be associated with that mongoloid dipshit, suit yourself. Loser.
Orgasmo- you are one of the 4 Ric Flairs.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-08-17 17:21:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
yeah, im going with aj. It would matter if anybody knew who i was.
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2006-08-17 17:17:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There's only one Uber celebrity: Bart.
The rest of us are in his gang.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-08-17 17:06:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What has Ubersite come to these days... Gangs going around and everything...
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-08-17 17:02:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How do the sharks feel about average dan? I'm pretty sure he and I are a clique.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:59:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
a.)Will you always +2 the posts of other members of the gang? (not necessary, I just like to see how much boot my lackeys are willing to lick)
Yes, capn o capn
b.)Will you do my bidding here on Uber? (I'm the leader, I hope you know the correct, three letter answer to this question)
If it's entertaining, sure
c.)Shlongy is really a cunt, isn't he?
God yes. It's what I like about him
d.)ETS - for or against?
I read his first few posts and it was just too much drama. I don't think I've read one since.
e.)If female, would you be willing to show me naked photographs of yourself, your sisters, female cousins, mothers, aunts and similarly genitaled friends?
You know that's right
f.)Tell me I'm cool. Go ahead, just do it.
You're cool...for a middle aged cornfield dweller.
g.)Shlongy is also a member of the gang, whether he likes it or not. We need a rich guy with good taste in booze and women on board the team. Be careful how you answer question #c, it's a tricky one. (hint, the answer is still yes)
I agree. He'll be our batman...he won't be part of the team officially, just more of someone who finances us and bails us out of trouble.
h.)If I demanded it, would you fetch me a coffee and then allow me to use your back as my coffee table?
If I'm going for coffee anyway, I'd bring you back some. If you demanded it of me, I might cock slap you.
i.)Will you offer to sexually gratify the socially better members of the gang? How about if they ask for anal?
I will gladly sevice all the femal members of the gang.
j.)Too many fucking questions. Feel free to answer only a few. Or none. Why should I give a fuck about your future Uber popularity?
You shouldn't, that's what makes you cool
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:56:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've found it helps to use dated references so you old timers can understand what I'm saying.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:54:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ric Flair is like 20 years older than Shlongy, for chrissakes.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:47:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually, four Ric Flairs would be sweet.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:47:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If I'm an UberCelebrity then I certainly can't be in your gang.
It'd be like having four Ric Flairs in the Four Horsemen. You've got to have one superstar in the center - Flair - and then surround him with the Tully Blanchards and Arn Andersons of the world. The midcarders benefit from the main eventer's presence.
The only time two headliners work together is if they're a pair and not part of a larger group. The Mega Powers, for instance.
So, I guess what I'm saying is - fuck this gang noise and come run with me.
Besides, I'm not a celebrity. I'm just the gay guy that writes poetry and attracts all the alters.
Oh and dibs on being Macho Man for that Mega Powers thing.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:34:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the official jacket of The Sharks.
I already decided.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/91946
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:32:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I claim anyone who doesn't want to be in your gang as mine.
You can be the shit gang and I can be the getting off the pot gang.
I think you'll find we far outnumber you.
Submitted by humpty (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:22:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
a.)No
b.)yes
c.)yes. He should change his name to Cunty
d.)For when he shuts the fuck up which is never
e.)Yes! But alas I'm not a female.
f.)You are the coolest! http://www.ubersite.com/m/91937#2105303
g.)ok
h.)no fucking way
i.)Only if it's *their* anus and not mine
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:21:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Both "gangs" sound gay.
I'll be over here at the bar, with the broads while you fags are playing with your swords and your poles.
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:20:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:58:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:54:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Will there be monroe transfers in this gang?
---
I'm the one asking the questions around here.
Like, 'What the fuck is a monroe transfer?'
-----
Monroe Transfer
When one person sticks a tube in their ass and then sticks it in someone else's ass and shits in their ass.
Monroe Transfer
So will there be any? I haven't had a good monroe transfer in quite some time...
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:16:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
signing up for AJ's gang, officially
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:13:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
a.)Will you always +2 the posts of other members of the gang? (not necessary, I just like to see how much boot my lackeys are willing to lick)
Unless they're total balls
b.)Will you do my bidding here on Uber? (I'm the leader, I hope you know the correct, three letter answer to this question)
Probably. You're a nice guy.
c.)Shlongy is really a cunt, isn't he?
On occasion. I'm sure he's not a complete cunt.
d.)ETS - for or against?
He's amusing
e.)If female, would you be willing to show me naked photographs of yourself, your sisters, female cousins, mothers, aunts and similarly genitaled friends?
N/A
f.)Tell me I'm cool. Go ahead, just do it.
You are
g.)Shlongy is also a member of the gang, whether he likes it or not. We need a rich guy with good taste in booze and women on board the team. Be careful how you answer question #c, it's a tricky one. (hint, the answer is still yes)
Woo
h.)If I demanded it, would you fetch me a coffee and then allow me to use your back as my coffee table?
I've done that before
i.)Will you offer to sexually gratify the socially better members of the gang? How about if they ask for anal?
I don't do S+M. Also, no fatties.
j.)Too many fucking questions. Feel free to answer only a few. Or none. Why should I give a fuck about your future Uber popularity?
Because I'm awesome
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:12:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i didn't know i was a super celebrity. why didn't anyone tell me?
Submitted by Samo (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:11:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is so stupid, do you honestly think a gang of cool is what this place is need? Fuckj off you savage cunt
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:10:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you make me sad. Truly very sad. I may need to go cut myself to let the hurt out I'm so sad.
i liked the negro/old lady comparison. good one, bastard.
Love you long time
bitch
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:09:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:46:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
Before you came along we had clans.
I was in the Sativa Clan
------
I wish I was in a clan.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:06:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Problem is I'm too lazy to recruit.
I'll just hook some of you on crack and get you to do my bidding for the sweet, sweet rock.
Uber chickenheads, TO ME!
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:06:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
a.)No
b.)Nah (three letters)Ok maybe but only on 7 out of the 8 days of the week.
c.)Yes scourge is a cunt
d.)Against ETS and for Boobies.
e.)I will show you my smooth ken doll surface- http://www.ubersite.com/m/91433
f.)No
g.)Of course Shlongy wants to be in the gang. Free attention.
h.)No
i.)Yes I will accept the offer to sexually gratify the socially better members of the gang(me) by means of explicit rape.
j.)Go to hell
My work
Cereal retribution-http://www.ubersite.com/u/awesome_face/l/cereal_retribution
Face it- http://www.ubersite.com/u/awesome_face/l/face_it
Some crap- http://www.ubersite.com/m/89829
Uberia Wars- http://www.ubersite.com/m/89138
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:06:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm out. Shlongy likes to run alone.
It's easier to pick up broads as a solo act.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:05:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lishy, no slumming it. You're one of the sharks. Seriously, that could be the name of our gang.
'The Sharks'
We'd all get black leather jackets with a huge shark patch on the back. That would rule.
-------
Does that means our enemies are the Jets?
If I get to be a hot puertoriquena chick, then I am in - if Natalie Wood, DEFINATELY IN.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:05:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've made peace with my uncoolness. But here's a +2 for you anyway for the old woman/urban youth comparison.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:05:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:03:53 (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm only -2ing you so that I can start a rival gang.
I'll be the Jets since you made a Sharks reference in there.
--
It's on, bitch.
I don't -2 anymore, but my minions will.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:04:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
MyTee and gofer:
You have both been pre-approved for the gang based off of past performance. MyTee, you won approval for allowing me to drink your beer. gofer won ADD, auto in for that.
You still should answer some of the questions. Particularly the one about doing my bidding. That one is important.
AND, I do not live in a goddamn cornfield. I live in a town of 115,000 people. We have an amazing culture if you really, really, really like Abe Lincoln and state government.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-17 16:03:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm only -2ing you so that I can start a rival gang.
I'll be the Jets since you made a Sharks reference in there.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:59:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
can I be in the gang?
I'll e-mail you the new address on the offchance you'll send me cookies
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:58:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:54:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Will there be monroe transfers in this gang?
---
I'm the one asking the questions around here.
Like, 'What the fuck is a monroe transfer?'
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:57:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I never thought I'd say this but this post had TOO much goddamn Shlongy.
You people really are running out of topics.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:57:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, what the hell, I'm in. You'll need a place to crash when you leave the cornfields and come up to civilization.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:57:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:54:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
I assumed they weren't coming since I've moved from the address I asked him to send them to...
Whatevs
===
I, on the other hand, was promised cookies many moons ago.
I have not moved.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:57:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:53:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:52:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
I love you...
Waiting on the cookies.
===
Don't hold your breath, little bro.
--
I'VE BEEN ON TRAVEL THE LAST TWO WEEKS! NO TIME TO BAKE. It'll happen, one day when you are least expecting it....BAM, cookies. And midgets.
gofer, I think it may be too late to send to the address you gave me, if not, let me know, if so, drop a new one.
Lishy, no slumming it. You're one of the sharks. Seriously, that could be the name of our gang.
'The Sharks'
We'd all get black leather jackets with a huge shark patch on the back. That would rule.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:57:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
j.)Why should I give a fuck about your future Uber popularity?
----
Because the next generation of Uberlords is upon all of us ...
*cackle*
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:54:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Will there be monroe transfers in this gang?
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:54:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I assumed they weren't coming since I've moved from the address I asked him to send them to...
Whatevs
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:53:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:52:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
I love you...
Waiting on the cookies.
===
Don't hold your breath, little bro.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:52:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love you...
Waiting on the cookies.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:52:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahaha
the old woman/nigger thing works.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:49:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
e.)If female, would you be willing to show me naked photographs of yourself, your sisters, female cousins, mothers, aunts and similarly genitaled friends?
-----
Sure!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:48:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know HOW you bring yourself to slum it with me.
Ass.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:47:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A lot of the shitbags around here won't get the humor in this. So many people live in a 2D world.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-08-17 15:46:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Before you came along we had clans.
I was in the Sativa Clan