The Hulk (of shit) (1360 hits)
Category: Movies & TVRating: 0.33 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by peter griffin <hair_owen.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2003-06-20 23:51:53 EDT
Have any of you seen the Hulk yet? If are planning on seeing it bring a sharp object to gouge your eyes out and stab yourself in the ears, you won't be needing them. The first 15 minutes of backround I handled with grace, but after 45 minutes of pointless backround I began to wonder, "When is he going to turn into that big green thing and beat the shit outa shit?" There was a total lackage of him beating the shit outa shit in fact, until at least an hour into the frikking movie. I PAID MY 5.25 TO SEE THIS GREEN THING BEAT THE SHIT OUTA SHIT. I have no interest in this freaks love life, past, or job. Right now this guy can take on a the whole military. THATS what I want to see. Then everything was going just FINE (with the beating of shit), until that dirty skank showed up and calmed him down. What a bitch, the green man was having fun LAY OFF. Then I thought "At least this trip to hell is over." (meaning the movie is done) but I was mistaken, they managed to carry on the story even LONGER. By this time I was more occupied with checking the girl next to me out than watching the movie because they talked SO MUCH. Okay if they only had about 15 minutes to an half hour of backround and hour of him beating the shit outa shit I woulda liked it. But unfortunately it sucked worse than a baby on a mothers tit.
-The Cuban
User Reviews
Submitted by Flapjacksupreme (user info) at 2003-06-24 02:36:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Haven't seen it yet, from what I've been informed of:
*Not enough violence, too much background
*Dad release dog on yet to be described female
*Hurts a FRENCH poodle
*Dosen't hurt enough Korean People
*Hulk sucked, tank scene was nifty though.
*Guy waltez's out of crash landing from a tank
*Godzilla is cool
*The Iron Maiden also had two extra long spikes that gouged your eyes before the rest of you was impaled. I've always favoured strapping someone's ankle to something hard, bashing it with a hammer for awhile, let it swell, then put it in a vice. But hey, what'ever does it for you. :)
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2003-06-21 16:39:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
no, i dont care... i could have whipped that poodles fucking ass. i am glad he broke that one dogs leg with that shot to the hip. that was cool. but the poodle? give me a chainsaw, a can of gas, and a lighter, and we would be having poodle fucking flank steak. A FUCKING POODLE!. It could have at least been an alligator, pack of hyenas, even a fucking monster mongoose... a poodle is just anti fuckign climatic.
Submitted by Acarnis (user info) at 2003-06-21 16:20:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I liked it. But yeah, I almost dozed off a couple times.
Submitted by yarbles (user info) at 2003-06-21 11:52:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I wish my ticket was going to cost 5.25... It will probably atleast be 8.50...
Going to see it Sunday... woo...
+1 for saying no love in the movie... more beating down!
Submitted by crackergirl (user info) at 2003-06-21 05:02:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You only paid 5.25 for a movie? the lowest i can pay is 7 bucks, and thats at noon with a student i.d.
Submitted by Alabama (user info) at 2003-06-21 01:27:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay, I'm with you on that one. When he just waltzed out of the tank, I definitely had to suspend some major disbelief.
Submitted by hairowen (user info) at 2003-06-21 01:20:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeh the tank scene was cool. After he threw that tank about a mile the guy came out of the wreckage walking! Wow thank God for that helmet he was wearing. Everyone knows that guy would have been pulp after that. Yes I did enjoy when the Hulk mindlessly bashed stuff. Only part of the movie I enjoyed
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2003-06-21 01:16:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
damnitt! i was hopin it would be awesome. shit.
Submitted by Alabama (user info) at 2003-06-21 01:14:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And by the way, that poodle had the same thing done to it that happened to the Hulk. In other words it was a Hulk French Poodle (freedom poodle?). Put it in perspective.
I'm having a debate over the Hulk.
Submitted by Alabama (user info) at 2003-06-21 01:12:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The tank scene was definitely the best. Especially as he slowly turned toward the last tank tapping the muzzle of the previously fucked up tank in the other hand. You know what I mean. That was...beautiful.
Why does anybody think that this was an all eye candy movie? That was Godzilla and the Phantom Menace. Did you really think that the Hulk had no plot?
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2003-06-21 01:09:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck i know what you mean. ok, there was some nice camera work. but please, dont make a movie out of camera work. Fuck you hulk, you green, pussy peice of shit. HE KICKED THE SHIT OUT OF A POODLE......that is just fuckin' sad. I want to see the hulk hurt more tanks, and korean people and shit. Not something that i do every day.
ugh, thank you for adressing that peice of shit.
=2 for you
Submitted by Alabama (user info) at 2003-06-21 01:03:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Have you ever visualized being put in the iron maiden? I mean, REALLY thought about it? You're enclosed in pitch blackness with spikes driven through you at every part of your body. You're so terrified and in so much holy-shit pain that all you can think to do is scream, but you can't because that would mean moving SOME part of your body and that would mean the already-intolerable paint and agony becomes even worse. All you can do is pray to anything that will listen that you will bleed quickly and die even quicker. It's simple, but whoever invented it was one truly twisted, sick fuck.
Submitted by hairowen (user info) at 2003-06-21 00:56:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh I did, I like to know all forms of torture I can.
Submitted by Alabama (user info) at 2003-06-21 00:55:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fucking hell, hairowen, all I said is that he was wrong for hating the Hulk. I didn't say he should be hung upside down and sawn in half with a logging saw. Although the imagery is kind of cool.
By the way, that was a real form of execution in Italy during the inquisition. Thought you'd like to know.
Submitted by hairowen (user info) at 2003-06-21 00:52:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maddox kicks ass, I don't agree with everything but he is still hilarious. We don't need to take personal offence at everything, don't be a prissy bitch. OMG he is so sexist or racist or communist, who cares? Unless she/he is going around killin people leave him alone and if she/he is killing people bust a cap in their head. Not everyone has to see life from your (meaning prissy bitches) twisted and emancipated view.
-=the cuban=-
Submitted by Alabama (user info) at 2003-06-21 00:43:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And let me preemptively attack Maddox for hating The Hulk. I already know he'll hate it. He isn't funny for writing about how the latest rainbow was so beautiful it made him cry.
I am right. He will hate it, and he will be utterly and hopelessly wrong.
Jesus H. Christ, that guy has a cult following for being an asshole. I'm a grade-A asshole and everybody hates my guts.
Submitted by hairowen (user info) at 2003-06-21 00:30:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeh okay THAT would be cool. I'd rather see you do that than the entire movie.
Submitted by hairowen (user info) at 2003-06-21 00:29:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well for one, I never liked the Hulk in the first place. I wanted to see the Italian Job which has Edward Knortan (yes I don't know how to spell his name) in it and he is the best actor ever but we came a bit too late. So I thought lets go see the Hulk it looks decent. so we start watching it and I thought it was okay but after the frog exploded everything went down hill. For one he doesn't even turn into the Hulk right when he gets hit by the radiation. For 2 his dad was crazy insane and so boring. Why did he send those dogs after that girl? I'll never know. Maybe I just wasn't paying attention cause it sucked so bad. Wait no I am wrong. It sucked AND blowed at the same time. If you want to see a good movie rent Fight Club or American History X. Not the Hulk of shit.
-=The Cuban=-
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2003-06-21 00:27:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I;m gonna go see it and take my old Hulk action figure. When he starts going nuts I;m gonna start hitting people who around me yelling "HULK MAAAAAAADDD!!!!"
Submitted by Alabama (user info) at 2003-06-21 00:20:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're retarded. Both of you. I just saw it and it totally rocked. It's the first eye-candy movie I've seen in fuck knows how long that actually had a good plot, directing, character development, acting...you know, all those bullshit things that today's action movies aren't supposed to have. So go watch the Phantom Menace again if that's what turns you on.
Jesus Christ, how can you have such inexplicably bad taste?
Submitted by hairowen (user info) at 2003-06-21 00:11:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are so right man, you know what?... I love you