Public enemy number 1 and lessons learned(now with more camwhore-y goodness) (726 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.77 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by extacy_red (View user info) at 2006-08-19 22:27:21 EDT
So, I was having people over to chill in my basement today and have a mini rave, as is standard operating procedure most weekends. And naturally, to rave one needs ex, in my case anyway. It makes me dance so much better and the experience as a whole more enjoyable. BIt of a given but whatever. I had a friend drive me over to see Bones, who isn't my normal dealer and I hate dealing with him cause he's sketchy as fuck. The only reason I went to him was because Jim, my normal dealer was on vacation.
So we go and meet up in the parking lot near his house, and we go through standard drug deal procedure, until after I hand over the money, instead of he having a bag of pills in hes had, he had a butterfly knife. It was at this point he whipped out a butterfly knife and placed it against my stomach. He just told me he was taking the money, and for me to fuck off.
Normally, I wouldn't stand for this kind fo shit, and his ass would have been tasting the hard steel that is my trusty crowbar. But there was a problem, my crowbar was in the messenger bag always on my person, and said messenger bag was at my side, but I couldn't whip it out due to the knife caressing my stomach.
So I cut my losses and dipped the fuck out. Losses being 250 dollars.
I've never told you about my crowbar. It goes with me everywhere there's a possibility of drug deals, fights, or shit talking. I've only ever had to use it once, for a drug deal/fight. And even then it was just a swift blow to the stomach of the guy who was kneeling on my buddy's chest, rearranging his face. That was the night I had the part of my ear where the lobe meets the rest of the ear ripped open. Some closet homo was wearing a ring and punched me in the ear with said ring in the ear, and ripped it straight open, the kind of rip where a chunk is missing.(see picture)
I don't think I could ever hit a guy in the face with it unless it was absolutely necessary to live. That's one of my great fears, getting horribly destroyed in a fight, I just coulnd tlive with doing it or being that way. Humans can be so cruel.
Most of the times I've used it have been at this local screamo/hardcore venue where all us teenagers hang out friday nights. Anyway, drunk ass jocks think it's funny to drive by in their trucks and yell at the punkers. I don't stand for it, if I'm outside when its going on, I'll run down to the stoplight and smash a headlight or 2. And they never get out to fuck with me. I'm the angry kid with the crowbar and 10 friends saying you won't do jackshit(LAWLZ UNDEROATH REFERENCE).
But I digress,
So I figure, amphetamines are the next best thing after 3,4 methylenedioxymethamphetamine of course, and I go to pick that up from another dealer and its all good.
So 60mg later. Everyone is chilling in my basement, and me and this girl 'I've had my eye on/flirted with like crazy/wanted to fuck since i first laid eeyes on her' decide to head to the back room.
One thing led to another and were naked, looking like tan ass puerto ricans due to the tanning effects of the black light bulbs I had replaced the normal ones with. And there I am, working my way round the bases without so much as a 'hello how are you' from my cock.
We spent the next hour trying everything we could to get him to stand at attention, and eventually I resorted to borrowing a viagra my dad keeps in his shaving bag, rarely used, seeing as he's only 44. This was rather easy, seeing as my dad is a crabber on the potomac river and he wasn't home.
But dear god! Have you ever tried to powder a viagra thats been sitting around for about a year and a half with a cheap ass mortar and pestle. It gets the job done normally, with e pills, weed, and pretty much anything else you'd wanna grind up.
Maybe the amphetamines fucked me more than I realized. I just swallowed the damn thing whole.
We gave it an hour to kick in, then tried again, with the same results. Floppier than something that 's really floppy.
The strange thing is I've never had that happen before, I've been able to get it up before on amphetamines.
Alas, curse you senor penor. You are indeed public enemy number one. With black people that rob you at knifepoint at a close second.
My face is still numb. And i should probably eat, seeing as I've only eaten 5 cookies, some saltines and a glass of milk since thursday.
Pic is from about a year ago, about an hour after it happened, It had been cleaned up and clotted by then. Other is from the local AA baseball team in the um, whatever you call top box things. My mom's company sponsored the game that night so she had free tickets. BUT NONE OF YOU CARE!
User Reviews
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-08-21 07:52:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You look like a faggot to me.
Submitted by OfficeZombie (user info) at 2006-08-20 19:19:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Wasn't completely bored while I read it.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-20 15:42:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-08-20 14:38:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
oathmeal, I bet you envy my throwdown skillz.
no seriously. I throwdown like a machine.
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How could I *possibly* take you seriously?
Look at this post. LOOK!! It's sheer machismo and posturing wrapped up in a confused, angry little boy. Doing X and spending $250 on a score just so you can DANCE better!?!?! WHAT ... THE ... FKUC!?!!
Dude I don't give it 5 years before you:
1. Find god or something equally inane
2. Die
3. End up in jail
4. End up in jail and raped
I'd personally like to see either #2 or #4 take place but it's not my call.
... you'll acknowledge all this one day I assure you.
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-08-20 14:38:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oathmeal, I bet you envy my throwdown skillz.
no seriously. I throwdown like a machine.
sad thing this occured to me minutes later.
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-08-20 14:34:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-20 10:14:06 (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't retal this, dickface. Just listen.
Take a long, hard look at your life, even if just for half an hour or so.
You're toting weapons, doing hard drugs, getting in fights and from what it looks like in these pictures, hanging out at bowling alleys.
Just how much do you think you're contributing to ANYTHING other than your own level of pleasure? You are an absolutely prototypical posterchild for the decay rotting our youth and stealing their health and ability.
I admire nothing about your or your lifestyle. And as for fighting, there isn't a doubt in my mind that I could snap your fucking twig frame in half with a hard stare.
If you think people respect others based on how much drugs they do, how willing they are to get in a fight or how much blood they shed you're dead wrong.
Good luck with your lack of spinal fluid and cognitive function.
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yeah, so?
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-20 10:34:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-08-20 10:29:45 (#)
Ranking: -1
this had the full spectrum of shittiness
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-08-20 10:29:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
this had the full spectrum of shittiness and awesomeness.
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-08-20 10:29:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
this is the only post worthy of every review.
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-08-20 10:29:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
LULZ have a 0
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-08-20 10:29:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for emo
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-08-20 10:27:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty much the Mona Lisa of Posts...
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-20 10:14:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't retal this, dickface. Just listen.
Take a long, hard look at your life, even if just for half an hour or so.
You're toting weapons, doing hard drugs, getting in fights and from what it looks like in these pictures, hanging out at bowling alleys.
Just how much do you think you're contributing to ANYTHING other than your own level of pleasure? You are an absolutely prototypical posterchild for the decay rotting our youth and stealing their health and ability.
I admire nothing about your or your lifestyle. And as for fighting, there isn't a doubt in my mind that I could snap your fucking twig frame in half with a hard stare.
If you think people respect others based on how much drugs they do, how willing they are to get in a fight or how much blood they shed you're dead wrong.
Good luck with your lack of spinal fluid and cognitive function.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-08-20 06:03:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
AWESOME POST FARVA
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-08-20 05:59:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
no no no
Submitted by WookieSuave (user info) at 2006-08-20 05:48:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Jeezes.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-08-20 03:09:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
lame.
Submitted by SilentRenegade (user info) at 2006-08-20 03:06:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
total waste of my time...Good luck with the erectile dysfunction.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-08-20 02:53:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2006-08-20 02:37:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Such a waste of life... It's saddening.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2006-08-20 00:30:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And planned parenthood approves my last post.
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If planned parenthood approves of this post, it's good enough for me.
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-08-20 00:27:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Planned Parenthood approves this post.
Saving the world, one teenage pregnancy at a time.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-08-19 22:50:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
AIDS faggot
Submitted by GnarlsBarkley (user info) at 2006-08-19 22:38:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you're kinda shekshy
Submitted by I_love_Kracka (user info) at 2006-08-19 22:31:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
too bad the knife didnt do more damage
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2006-08-19 22:30:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Filename brah, Filename
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-08-19 22:30:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
overdose
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2006-08-19 22:29:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/92022
0 because I don't know what approves of this post.