What do I want to do when I grow up? (581 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.16 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by RockDocc (View user info) at 2006-08-21 02:23:20 EDT
It's a question asked by thousands of children each year as they leave gulags of public school and enter as a brainwashed pawn into what's known as the "real world"
Compliance, conformity, the need for a steady cash flow. Young adults fight these things, wishing that they could continue to be carefree and jobless; wishing for just a few more years of a life without bills, without a credit report, without responsibility. Unfortunately the fight doesn't last too long, whether it's the end of college, the end of highschool, or in my case, an upcoming reenlistment quandary; sooner or later, we're all going to have to get real jobs.
I'm writing this because, damnit, I don't want a real job. I don't want to work 9-5, drink coffee and turn in my tsp reports. I don't want to wear a suit to work, I don't want to butter up the boss for a promotion, and I sure as hell refuse to live in the socialist utopia of the 'burbs. It's a frightening aspect, one that I was able to put off by joining the military, but now, three years later, the question comes up again; what am I going to do with my life?
I was reading over the job postings on military.com, you know the one: where you put in your military specialty, then list all the other things you're good at, and voila! Personally tailored job listings.
You don't?
Well, it's kind of cool actually; you see, all you have to do is just click on your branch, choose your job and just.....
I'm getting off track.
(Damn you ADD raddled brain! DAMN YOU!)
Anyways.
Back to what I was originally foaming at the mouth about, getting a real live job. I know I can't hold out forever doing what I do now, sooner or later my body is going to give up on me, or I'm going to get married, or I'm going to get wounded and kicked out, (or just plain kicked out). The point is, at some point in time I'm going to have try to find a job that actually pays me a decent amount of money, without the "you could be killed at a moments notice, have you got that will written up yet?" factor. I have to settle down, I have to stop trying to get myself killed and I have to become *gasp* a civilian.
God help society when I come back in.
I mean seriously, they're going to take me, a guy who's been doing nothing but combat training for the past 3 years, and make me a software engineer?
Here's the partial list of jobs that I can "take" when I get out:
1) Jr. Business Analyst- Right, and what do these people do that I would have any interest in doing?
2) Quality Assurance Technician-The only quality I can assure, is the accuracy of the round I put in people's chests. Then take it out again, because I'm supposed to do medical stuff...
3) FULL TIME GYMNASTICS/CHEER COACH/DIRECTOR-I don't think I'm allowed within 100 yards of cheerleaders anymore, after that..."incident"
4) Field Service Technician - Power Generation/Equipment/Field Service 50-60 K/yr-The "field" part got me excited, until I learned it dealt with electricity. Again, another "incident"
5) Technical Support - IT/Applications/Construction 45-55 K/yr-I've learned from experience, killing the customer is never right. No matter how idiotic they are.
6) CHEMIST I-mmmm, napalm.
7) Security Agent-That could be interesting....
8) Registered Nurse-Now that's something I could do, but like I said, it's just not exciting enough...
That's just a few of the goodies that I've come across; but to make a long story short, it seems like the only job that kind of looks good for me, is staying in the armed side of the government. I guess I'm just not cool enough for the real world yet.
User Reviews
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-08-22 03:36:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
then get some young slutty whore and use her as my cum dumbster until she becomese worn and repeat.
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leave Paint_it_black out of this....she has enough problems, what with the suicidal tendencies...and the whole not actually being a person thing..
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2006-08-21 23:02:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I want to be a lawyer. Then while in law school or intern-ing I'll marry some husband shopping snobby whore, have her sign a iron prenup, bang a couple cute kids out of her, divorce her and take the kids and give her nothing and if she tries to fight it I'll do my own defense and either crush her in court or draw it out so she can't afford it, then get some young slutty whore and use her as my cum dumbster until she becomese worn and repeat.
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-08-21 22:18:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well, at least you read it.
that gives me a small reason not to invade canada with my army of thai whores.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-08-21 20:31:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Damn you ADD raddled brain!"""
I stopped reading there. You americans and your self-diagnosis need to stfu.
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-08-21 20:26:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2006-08-21 20:19:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
I sure as hell refuse to live in the socialist utopia of the 'burbs
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the suburbs arent socialist. everyone competes about who has more money.
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All the houses are the same, ALL THE HOUSES ARE THE SAME! how much more pinko communist can you get?
It's a prefab paradise with everyone striving to outdo one another in conformity.
maybe I should just be a pirate.
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2006-08-21 20:19:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I sure as hell refuse to live in the socialist utopia of the 'burbs
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the suburbs arent socialist. everyone competes about who has more money.
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-08-21 20:07:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're in the armed forces, you're too stupid to get a real job
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HEY! you can't just walk off the street and join up, ya know? You have to take a test, AND spell your name correctly.
I think spelling my name correctly at least qualifies me for your job, if not then at the most, your boss.
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-08-21 19:24:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Like arguing with someone whether Babylon 5 or Farscape is a superior series
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I liked babylon 5, I think the story arc was a bit better. More political and stuff like that. Course I never watched farscape...oh well
Submitted by dr_weazel (user info) at 2006-08-21 19:11:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're in the armed forces, you're too stupid to get a real job.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-08-21 16:50:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
2 chicks at once
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-08-21 09:29:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I just picked up a 9-5 job after spending 2+ years taking it easy. Looking back, I really miss those two years, and even now am plotting my course for returning to such an existence.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-21 09:09:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 only because I have a twin brother in Iraq going through the same shit.
You'll figure it out. Rest easy, soldier.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-21 09:03:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-08-21 05:45:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
When I was a child I dreamt of working 9 to 5. The very idea of being able to get up from ones desk and get a coffee was thrilling for Berty-child aged 13. A simple repetetive job with strip lighting and artificial relationships with coworkers you don't have to interact with in any kind of real social sense.
The workplace, for me, is a place of meditation and contemplation. One deals with paperwork and phonecalls as one deals with pebbles and steps in one's morning jog. Every morning I sit at my desk, sup my coffee, perhaps have a sandwich if I wish, perhaps a ciggarette. It is all so wonderful.
I find it difficult to understand why a body would choose a workplace in the out of doors, were everything is cold and damp and horrid. I like to think that for some the cold, dank, noisy foulness of the natural or urban wilderness make up their own stimulations in their spiritual journeys. Different strokes for different folks and all that. Like arguing with someone whether Babylon 5 or Farscape is a superior series.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-08-21 04:07:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Monday morning is neither the appropriate time or place to talk about working.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-08-21 03:45:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
http://gabbly.com/http://www.ubersite.com
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-08-21 03:43:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Or stick to my guns, as it were, and wait until I'm ready or have to move on.
Necessity is the mother of invention.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-08-21 03:41:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I would stop being a jerk.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-08-21 03:35:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
JEEZ I DIDNT EVEN READ THIS BUT YOU ARE SO UPSET HAVE A +2 AND CHILL THE FUCK OUT
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-08-21 03:29:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh fucking shit people!
not a single fucking review?! I've been checking uber for the past like 4 hours, impatiently waiting for a reviewer to toss their two cents into this bitch post! I'm surprised I haven't been fired yet for this bullshit!
goddamn you uber, goddamn you and your addictive properties! I'm sure there was something productive I could've done today! but nooooo, I had to check and recheck on this fucking post waiting for you fuckers to come around and say something!
I'm sure I had a patient or two to see, but noooooo! I had to see if anyone reviewed my posts! If anyone dies, the blame lies soley on you, users of uber.
and I really don't fucking care if I'm the only asshole posting on tokyo time! I'm sure someone is on uber when I am, doesn't fucking matter about the 13 hour difference between here and states! get up and rate me!!
*weep*
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-08-21 02:25:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh. So confused...