Favorite Movie Quotes (3434 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.86 on 72 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Mike Hawk <Sure.at.lickballs.com> (View user info) at 2003-06-21 17:31:11 EDT
Everybody has em, here are a few of mine(because I'm at work and thus bored):
1. "Tell that bitch to shut up before i come over there and fuckstart her head!" -Parker,
Way of the Gun
2. "Man, there ain't nothing worse than seein' a fat man weep." - Jay, Dogma
3. "I ain't fartin' on no snare drum" Pip, Airheads
4. "Hey Baby! Ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?" Jay, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
5. "It's good shit man, I got it from a negro." -Bill Murray, Caddyshack
6. "People who talk in metaphors ought to shampoo my crotch." Jack Nicholson, As Good As it Gets.
7. "That's what I like about these high school girls, I keep getting older, they stay the same age." Wooderson, Dazed and Confused.
8. "And now you will see that evil will always triumph over good, because good is dumb." Dark Helmet, SpaceBalls
9. "I'm not going in for all that macho shit, Jack. I was great. Should have my dick bronzed." Reggie, 48 Hours
10. "It's not that I'm lazy. I just don't care. It's a problem of motivation." Peter, Officespace.
11. "This job would be great, if it weren't for the fucking customers." Randall (I think), Clerks
12. "When I was your age television was called books." Columbo, The Princess Bride.
13. "I'm a master of the custodial arts, or a janitor if you want to be a dick about it." Thurgood, Half-baked
14. "I'll have a bloody mary, a steak sandwich, and uh....steak snadwich." Fletch, Fletch.
15. "Hail to the king, Baby." Ash, Army of Darkness
I think I've compiled a pretty decent set of the movie i usually remember, so fuck it. What's everyone else think/like?
-Bongzilla
User Reviews
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2005-01-29 18:48:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"What we have here,,,,,is,,,, failure to communicate." Cool Hand Luke
"Charlie don't surf!" Col. Kilgore (Robert Duval) Apocalypse Now
"One day a real rain will come and wash all the scum off the street." Travis Bickle (Robert DeNiro) Taxi Driver
"Pygmys, Pygmys!!" Nicholas Cage, Matchstick Men
Submitted by Umbilical_Cord (user info) at 2005-01-29 18:40:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"Lets get down to brass tax here. How much for the ape?"
"I was right in the middle of a fucking reptile zoo. And somebody was giving booze to these goddamned things"
- Fear and Loathing
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2005-01-29 18:25:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Damn, what'd you go to weed college nigga?"
-Thurgood, Half-Baked
"Your mom goes to college."
-Kip Dynamite
"You know there's like a buttload of gangs at this school right? One of em tried to recruit me because Im pretty good with a bowstaff."
-BongZilla
Submitted by Luckystar (user info) at 2004-03-11 15:05:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Joe Dirt:
joe: " Joe Dirte Reporting for work"
guard: "don't try and church it up, son. don't you mean DIRT? naming you that your daddy musthave really hated you
Joe: "you're wrong brother"
guard: " i got a good name for this car, Rusty"
Joe: "shit'll buff out"
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-02-17 23:16:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Start warming the syrup."
"Contact Dr. Jemima."
"I like the blueberrie ones best, mmmm."
Submitted by ronnockeem (user info) at 2004-02-14 21:49:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Winner of the Aunt Jemima Biggest Pancake in the Hood Contest"
Anyone who can tell me what that is from is a God in my eyes, and sadly, it won't happen.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-02-14 21:27:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
as long as i'm correcting people, FUBAR, Frost is the one with the harsh language quote in Aliens.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-02-14 21:23:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought of some more.
Sick Boy: "Do you see the beast? Have you got it in your sights?" (Trainspotting)
Gary Busey: "One more thing. May I have a kiss?" (Fear and Loathing In Los Vegas)
Arnold Swartzenaggar(Sp?) - "Who said you could eat MY COOKIES!?!" (I'd say Kindergarten Cop, but I'm not sure)
One more thing, hidden, if you're gonna correct someone, do it right. When Willam yells at the little kid saying there is no easter bunny, he doesn't say the word "kid." What he says is, "WELL YOU KNOW WHAT, THERE IS NO EASTER BUNNY!!! OVERTHERE IT'S JUST A GUY IN A SUIT!!!"
dumbass...
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-02-14 21:12:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Rocko: "Fuckin'-- What the fuckin' fuck-- Who the fuck-- Fuck this fuckin'-- How did you two fuckin' fucks-- Fuck!" (The Boondock Saints)
Wayne - "We're gonna kidnap Judith and set Darren up with Sandy!"
JD - "YEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Wait, what?" (Saving Silverman)
Mike: "Hey look! The Amazing RANDO!" (MST3K: The Movie)
Mickey: "I'll tell ya what I'll do." Dog barks. "Oh, fucker." (Snatch)
Natalie: "What's the last thing you do remember?"
Lenard: "My wife..."
Natalie: "That's sweet."
Lenard: "...dying." (Memento)
Pee-Wee: "...Exhibit Q! A Scale model of the entire mall!" (Pee-Wee's Big Adeventure)
Tom Servo: "EASTMAN came forth from the east to do battle with THE AMAZING RANDO!" (MST3K: The Movie)
Stansfield: "Bring me everyone."
Henchman: "What do you mean, everyone?"
Stansfield: "EEEVVVEEERRRYYYOOONNNEEE!!!"
Officer Rando: "HOW'S THE VIEW FROM SUGAR HEAVEN BITCH!?!" (Super Troopers)
Ace: "Hi." (Starship Troopers)
Tom Servo: "Sorry, 'Industrial Light & Magic,' but RANDO will do all the special effects for this movie!" (MST3K: The Movie)
Nazi General: "Put him in the back of the plane, take ten minutes to explain all our plans to him, and then, throw him out of the plane." (Red Dward television series, season 7)
Tom Servo: "Rando contructs sets with his very mind!" (MST3K: The Movie)
Cooper: "It's me Buckley, Bill, yeah, Bill Gates."
Buckley: "Oh my God! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!?!"
Cooper: "Your brain Buckley. YOUR brain!"
Bill: "Ted, if we die, you can have my Megadeth collection."
Ted: "But dude, we're already dead."
Bill: "Oh, well then they're yours."
Brodie: "Wait, why am I his sidekick? How do you know he's not my sidekick?" (Mallrats)
Kevin Smith(?): "You're show only air twice! I fire YOU Chris Bairy!" (Commentary from Clerks Animated Series)
Crow: "Rando still kils me." (MST3K: The Movie)
Kevin Smith(?): "Quilkstop! Quickstop! Who care!?! Your show never air!" (Commentary from Clerks Animated Series)
Rainbow Randolph: "It's not a rocket ship! It's a cock! A cock with balls! It's a big stiffy!" (Death To Smoochy)
Dante: "Oh my God. The kid in the helmet."
Leonardo Leonardo: "Yes. Look at him." (Clerks the Animated Series)
Tom Servo: "And his coffin shall be made entirely of coconuts, thank you." (MST3K: The Movie)
Yeah, I like movies.
Submitted by aswicked (user info) at 2004-02-14 20:19:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for arsenal and polyamorousaj cause donnie darko kicks ass.
Submitted by Marx740 (user info) at 2004-02-13 22:59:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*Annoying machine beep*PC load letter what the fuck does that mean? *smacks fax machine*
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2004-02-13 22:32:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
the last one was from clerks, btw. But if you haven't seen clerks you should probably hang yourself by your genitals.
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2004-02-13 22:20:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dante: "My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks!"
Customer: "In a row?"
-BongZilla
+2 for me
Submitted by Lynn (user info) at 2004-02-13 22:08:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
By the way, ELGuapo, I LOVE BETTER OFF DEAD!!! John Cusack is the man!! +2 for you!!
Submitted by Lynn (user info) at 2004-02-13 22:04:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"I believe that there's more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good-looking, and I plan on finding out what that is."
-Zoolander
BLUTO: Was I over when the germans bombed pearl harbor?
OTTER: Germans?
BOONE: Forget it man, he's on a roll...
-Animal House
"Then we'll put them on double-secret-probation."
-Dean Wormer, Animal HOuse
"True love is hard to find. Sometimes you think you have true love then you take the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom like a goddamn magic ready to double-team your girlfriend."
Mitch, Old School
LESTER: What if I throw in a little sexual harassment charge to boot?
BRAD: Against who?
LESTER: Against you, silly!
-American Beauty
"If you're pregnant, we're gonna be having sex into the third trimester."
-Jay, Dogma
"Sometimes Jenny would sneak over to my house in the middle of the night cuz she said she was scared. Scared of what? I think it was her grandma's dog. he was a mean dog."
-Forrest Gump
MICHAEL BOLTON: It was a good name until tha no-talent ass clown started winning Grammys.
ZAMIR: Why don't you just go by Mike?
MICHAEL BOLTON: Why should I change, he's the one who sucks.
-Office Space
HANNIBAL LECTER:So by implication you think you're smarter than me since it was you who caught me.
WILL GRAHAM:No, Dr. Lecter, I know I'm not smarter than you.
HANNIBAL LECTER:Then how did you catch me!?
WILL GRAHAM:You had... disadvantages.
HANNIBAL LECTER: What disadvantages?!
WILL GRAHAM:You're insane.
-Red Dragon
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-02-13 21:12:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
How exactly does one suck a fuck? -Donnie Darko
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-02-12 23:57:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't care how old this is, you used a bunch of my old favorites, espescially the Spaceballs one.
Submitted by Arsenal (user info) at 2003-07-21 23:49:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village, but the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living if you don't have a dick?" Donnie, Donnie Darko
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2003-07-21 23:27:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
From Dogma:
Loki: "Shit, I'm so excited If I had a dick, I'd go get laid! But I don't so we'll do the next best thing."
Bartleby: "Oh yeah? What's that?"
Loki: "Kill People!"
Kevin Smith owns you!
-BongZilla
Submitted by El_Guapo (user info) at 2003-06-26 11:57:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue!
Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines
- airplane
and that just about sums up my day so far
Submitted by hendrixjrr (user info) at 2003-06-26 10:26:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
dolphgr13, those are some of the most forgetable movie quotes I've ever seen.
Jason
Submitted by A_Weasel_named_FUBAR (user info) at 2003-06-26 10:19:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"So I see youre hobbies are somking weed, drinking 40s and all types of ill shit"
Interviewer to Loc-Dog
"I figure Ill get myself a job in a bank or sumthin, learn the system, work my way up to manager...then Ill rob that motherfucker blind!"
Loc-Dog
"You know, I spent five years at yale"
"REally? I just spent 6 months in county"
Loc-Dog
"Y'all wanna stop callin each other nigger. Its terms like that the white man use to keep the other races down! Oh yeah ,remind me to pick my laundry up from that chink motherfucker down the street"
Preach
All from Dont be a menace to south central while youre drinking your juice in the hood
Submitted by Malus9804 <Malus9804.at.yahoo.com> at 2003-06-24 01:45:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I forgot a few evil deads:
Ash: "Remember kids, gun control means hitting your target"
"can i borrow your face? my ass is on vacation"
"kiss my boomstick"
(blows a zombie's head off) "hey! i just found a cure for ugly"
"you must lose IQ points whenever you go to the bathroom"
Submitted by Malus <Malus9804.at.yahoo.com> at 2003-06-24 01:29:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's nice. Here's some of mine (some aren't movie quotes, but most are), www.geocities.com/malus9804/quotes.html
Submitted by dolphgr13 (user info) at 2003-06-24 01:25:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Can we have a rule where if you don't know the exact lines in a quote then don't fucking quote it? seriously, I hate it when people attempt to quote my favourites then fuck it up.
anyway.....
"I ain't got time to bleed"
"Son of a bitch is dug in like an Alabama tick."
"This shit makes cambodia look like texas" - Blane, Pradator
"Stick around" - Dutch, Predator (on pinning dude to a wall with knife)
We could just go on and on with Arnie, he kicks ass! -
"Killian, here's your Subzero, now plain zero." - Running Man - Richards
"What happened to Buzz Saw?"
"He had to split" - Richards - Running Man
"You cold blooded bastard. I'll tell you what i think of it! I'll live just to see you eat that contract, but i hope you leave enough room for my fist, cause I'm going to ram it down yourstomach, and break your God-damn spiiiiine! - Richards to killian - Running Man
"I could break your neck like a chicken's" - Richards
how bout Commando?
"Let off some steam, Bennett" - J Matrix
"You're a funny man, Sully, I like you. That's why I'm going to kill you last."
"I eat green berets for breakfast. And right now I'm very hungry."
Cindy - "What happened to Sully?"
Matrix - "I let him go" (he dropped him off a cliff...)
The list goes on.... (Up next, Universal Soldier!!!!)
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2003-06-23 22:23:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
BTW glam, that movie post list blows ass, mine owns.
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2003-06-23 18:20:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh I can do a lot "bette rthan" that, but I was trying to keep my post at least somewhat postive til you ruined it you fuckin colon cowboy. I hope you die from carbon monoxide poisoning, ass rider. +2 to offset your -2's, beeyotch.
Submitted by glam_daddy (user info) at 2003-06-23 17:25:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"my bad, I didn't see it, but fuck you anyways."
Now you can do bette rthan that cant you?
you fudgepacking bitchmonkey but spellunking two time son of a grease fart.
just an example.
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2003-06-23 16:54:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
my bad, I didn't see it, but fuck you anyways.
Submitted by glam_daddy (user info) at 2003-06-23 14:33:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
de ja vu
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1054163940468129580
Submitted by El_Guapo (user info) at 2003-06-23 14:31:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Monique Junot: He keeps putting his testicles all over me.
Lane Myer: Excuse me?
Monique Junot: You know, like octopus? Testicles?
Lane Myer: Ohhhh. Tentacles. N-T. There's a BIG difference.
Charles De Mar: I've been going to this high school for seven and a half years. I'm no dummy. I know high school girls.
Lane Myer: Sorry Johnny, I don't have a dime.
Johnny: Didn't ask for a dime. Two dollars.
Lane Myer: My little brother got his arm stuck in the microwave. So my mom had to take him to the hospital. My grandma dropped acid this morning, and she freaked out. She hijacked a busload of penguins. So it's sort of a family crisis. Bye!
[slams the door shut]
~~~Better Off Dead, aka: one of the best fucking movies of all fucking time
Submitted by streetpunk (user info) at 2003-06-23 14:15:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Look at me, I didn't go to college and I'm kick ass"
-Jack Black, "Orange County"
Submitted by streetpunk (user info) at 2003-06-23 13:13:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"If going to heaven is so great, then how come dying on the cross was such a big fucking sacrifice?"
-Igby (Keiran Culkin) "Igby Goes Down"
Submitted by BerZerK (user info) at 2003-06-23 12:47:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I'm going to kill you! I'm going to kill you and fuck you at the same time!"
-Tromeo and Juliet
"I wouldn't suck your lousy dick if I were suffocating and there was oxygen in
your balls!" - Mink Stole, Female Trouble
THIS IS MY FAVORITE SCENE EVER>> BEAR WITH ME>>>:
***PHONE RINGS***
"Hello?"
"Is this the Cocksucker residence?"
"God Damn you! Stop calling here!"
"Isn't this 4215 Pussy Way?"
"You BITCH!"
"Let me check the Zip Code.. 212 FUCK YOU?"
"The police are tracing this call right this very minute."
"Oh yeah, Dottie Hinkle, then why aren't they here, huh, Fuckface?"
"Fuck You!"
***CLICK***
***PHONE RINGS AGAIN***
"Didn't I just say FUCK YOU!"
"I beg your pardon?"
"Who is this?"
"Mrs. Wilson from the telephone company, I understand you are having trouble
with an obscene phone caller?"
"Oh yes Mrs. Wilson, I've had my number changed twice already. I'm a divorced
woman, please help me."
"Well, what exactly does this sick individual say to you?"
"Oh, I can't say those words outloud."
"Oh, I know it's difficult, but we need you to try."
"Alright... Cocksucker, thats what she calls me."
"LISTEN TO YOUR FILTHY MOUTH YOU FUCKING WHORE!"
"GOD DAMN YOU!"
***CLICK***
-Kathleen Turner and Mink Stole, Serial Mom
Submitted by turveytopsy (user info) at 2003-06-23 12:44:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Shop smart. Shop S-Mart."
"Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun."
Both from Army of Darkness
"I doubt anyone here would recognize civic virtue if it reached up and bit you in the ass."
Jean Rasczak Starship Troopers (It was a shitty movie, but the book was great)
"If the milk turns out to be sour, I ain't the kinda pussy to drink it."
Rory Breaker Lock Stock & 2 Smoking Barrels
"Charles, get the rifle out. We're being fucked."
Winston Lock Stock & 2 Smoking Barrels
"I gotta change my shirt, it's sticking to me. I'm sweating like a cunt."
Don from Sexy Beast
"Shut up, cunt. You louse. You got some fuckin' neck ain't you. Retired? Fuck off, you're revolting. Look at your suntan, it's leather, it's like leather man, your skin. We could make a fucking suitcase out of you. Like a crocodile, fat crocodile, fat bastard. You look like fucking Idi Amin, you know what I mean? Stay here? You should be ashamed of yourself. Who do you think you are? King of the castle? Cock of the walk?"
Don again from Sexy Beast
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2003-06-23 12:22:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nah dude Blade was all eye candy... Ok story line but just all eye candy...
Alright well the story line wasnt THAT bad... But the lines were just fucking gay...
Do you really think Vampires would go to raves and shit? Fuck that! If I was a vampire Id have a fucking castle... Id also fucking have human farms so I could kill them for food and have human hunts so Id be amused...
Oh yeah were night dwellers so we gotta rave and hit up all the clubs... I think not...
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2003-06-23 12:16:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Solent Green is People!!! It's made of PEEEOOOPLLLEE!!!!!!"
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2003-06-23 11:51:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm sorry, but that line from Blade about people trying to ice skate uphill sucked ass.
In fact, I would go so far as to say I was trying to decide whether the movie was ok or stupid, and that line near the end clinched it:
Stupid.
Submitted by El_Guapo (user info) at 2003-06-23 11:38:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Joe: If it's BOC, then how can it be pussy?
Hubbs: Every band puts out at least one pussy song so they can find out who the faggots are!
Joe: What, you guys think just because you got a bunch of alcohol some chick is just gonna go for it?
Mike Dick: [looking confused] Man....these are talls!
Hubbs: I'd kick his ass if it wasn't for his massive upper body stregnth!
Laney: Who the fuck is Tack?
Hubbs: Just some dude.
Joe: Who's mondo man?
Jill: Just some dude.
-The Stoned Age
Submitted by A_Weasel_named_FUBAR (user info) at 2003-06-23 11:37:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Buncha slag-jawed faggots! This shitll make you a goddamn sexual tyranosuar,just like me!"
Blane,Predator
"Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill"
Blade,Blade
"Whatre we supposed to use man?! Harsh Language?!"
Hudson,Aliens
"Whoo,kinda warm in these rhinos"
Ace Ventura,Ace Ventura:When Nature calls
"We're not doin it for the money...we're doin it for a SHITLOAD of money!"
Lonestarr,Spaceballs
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2003-06-23 08:11:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Sir, Custer was a pussy. You aint no pussy." - The guy that was under Mel Gibsons command in We Were Soldiers
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2003-06-23 04:18:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"What country you from?
What
What ain't no country I ever heard of! DO they speak English in What?"
"I'm a mushroom cloud laying motherfucker motherfucker!"
Pulp Fiction
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2003-06-23 03:13:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"You have to ask me nicely. You see Danny, I can deal with the bullets, and the bombs, and the blood. I don't want money, and I don't want medals. But what I do want is for you to stand there in that faggoty white uniform and with your Harvard mouth extend me some fucking courtesy. You gotta ask me nicely." - Colonel Jesup
"Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinberg? You weep for Santiago and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know, that Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives, and my existence while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth cause deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I'd rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to!" - Colonel Jesup
Believe it or not, I just typed that whole thing from memory. I've probably seen the courtroom scene in A Few Good Men at least fifty times.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-06-23 00:24:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'It's heavy..what is it?'
'The stuff that dreams are made of.'
'I'm not sure if you're a little man with a big gun or a big gun with a little man.'
-Humphrey Bogart
The Maltese Falcon
'If you don't get on that plane, you'll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of your life.'
Play it, Sam. If she can stand it, so can I.'
'Louis, I have the feeling this might be the start of a beautiful friendship.'
-Ditto
Casablanca
'Xanadu, palatial home of Charles Foster Kane. Cost? None can say.
'...Rosebud'
-Citizen Kane
Submitted by DooZa (user info) at 2003-06-22 23:55:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"Eggy Weggs... I'd like to, SMASH EM!" .. Alex DeLarge
Submitted by ctrl_alt_del (user info) at 2003-06-22 16:55:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell yeah, Orgazmo and shit!!!!
Choda Boy: "Jesus!"
Orgazmo: "Where?!"
Submitted by El_Guapo (user info) at 2003-06-22 16:45:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum" - They Live
--------------------------
[Joe is introduced to the young actresses he'll be co-starring with.]
Joe Young: Oh... I, I can't say that.
Maxxx Orbison: Say what?
Joe Young: What are they called?
Maxxx Orbison: The Assfuck Twins.
Joe Young: I can't say that. Can we call them something else?
Maxxx Orbison: But they're the Assfuck Twins.
Joe Young: Well I know, but um, couldn't I call them the Naughty Twins or something?
Maxxx Orbison: No, you *couldn't* just call them the Naughty Twins. They're the Assfuck Twins. Why would you call them The Naughty Twins when they get fucked in the ass all the time?
Joe Young: Well, that's pretty naughty.
Dave the Lightning Guy: [to Joe] I don't want to sound like a queer or nothin', but I'd kinda like to make love to you tonight.
Maxxx Orbison: What's your name, again?
Sancho: I am Sancho.
Maxxx Orbison: Look, I get a lot of people auditioning all the time. What makes you think that you'd be good enough for porno?
Sancho: I am Sancho.
Maxxx Orbison: Great... but what do you do?
Sancho: What do I do? I am Sancho.
Maxxx Orbison: And...?
Sancho: And there are many Jeffs in the world, and many Toms as well. But I... am Sancho.
Maxxx Orbison: And...?!
Sancho: Are you Sancho? No you are not. Neither is Scott Baio Sancho. Frank Gifford is not Sancho. But I...
Maxxx Orbison: You... are Sancho!
Sancho: That's right.
Maxxx Orbison: Okay, you're hired
- orgazmo
-----------------------------------
Ted: That's right. That's -- that's good. That's good. Unless, of course, somebody comes up with 6-Minute Abs. Then you're in trouble, huh?
[Hitchhiker convulses]
Hitchhiker: No! No, no, not 6! I said 7. Nobody's comin' up with 6. Who works out in 6 minutes? You won't even get your heart goin, not even a mouse on a wheel.
Ted: That -- good point.
Hitchhiker: 7's the key number here. Think about it. 7-Elevens. 7 doors. 7, man, that's the number. 7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby. Step into my office.
Ted: Why?
Hitchhiker: 'Cause you're fuckin' fired!
-There's Something About Mary
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2003-06-22 16:36:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"You're my boy Blue!"
Will Ferrel- Old School
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2003-06-22 16:06:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yeah, and actually the Office Space quote is:
"It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care."
Close enough though.
How about:
"I know you don't smoke weed. I know this. But I'm gonna get you high today, cause it's Friday, you ain't got no job, and you ain't got shit to do!" - Friday
"It's a Sicilian message. It means Luca Brazi sleeps with the fishes." - Godfather
"The only way to win is not to play." - War Games
"Twenty-eight days... six hours... forty-two minutes... twelve seconds. That... is when the world... will end." - Donnie Darko
"True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend." - Old School
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2003-06-22 15:32:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha Hidden, I was going to correct him too, but i didn't want to be a dick. lol
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-06-22 15:10:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha
Submitted by cellar_door (user info) at 2003-06-22 14:44:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Awesome, hidden. I was trying to figure out what the hell he was talking about.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-06-22 14:33:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
goddamnit. if you're going to quote an all time great, DO IT RIGHT. this is the second time i've had to correct this quote on Übersite.... *sigh*
stupid little brat- "What's that?"
Willam- "It's a magic eye picture. If you stare at it long enough, you'll see a hidden picture."
stupid little brat- ...."Oh yeah..look mummy, a schooner!"
Willam- "Ha..You dumb bastard..It's not a schooner, it's a sailboat."
stupid little brat- "A schooner is a sailboat, stupidhead!"
Willam- ".....YOU KNOW WHAT?..THERE IS NO EASTER BUNNY KID..OVER THERE IS JUST A GUY IN SUIT!!!"
-Mallrats
see how much funnier it is when you say it right?
Submitted by iddqd at 2003-06-22 14:29:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
as far as full metal jacket is concerned, you can just put down every word the drill sergeant say in the first half of the movie.
"alright you primitive screwheads, LISTEN UP!" - ash, army of darkness...
though this is such an infinite topic to discuss...
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2003-06-22 14:15:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I could use mallrats references all day, thus:
Brodie: (kid on escalator) I hope his pants get caught and a bloodbath ensues!
TC: Geez Brodie, what's your deal? He's just a kid.
Brodie: I think his parents should have to suffer that horrific ordeal so they learn how to manage their child!
Submitted by seansdementia (user info) at 2003-06-22 10:28:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Since Ash seems here alot and I ddint see a few..
Ash: Well Hello Mr Fancy Pants.
King: All are men from the future loud mouth braggarts?
Ash: Just me baby.
Thats all for now cause its early and i aint awake yet
Submitted by hairowen (user info) at 2003-06-22 10:08:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
: "I eat shit like you for breakfast"
: "You eat shit for breakfast?!"
:"(unconfident) no."
-happy gilmore
Submitted by michaelahunt (user info) at 2003-06-22 05:48:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My Mama said happiness is from little rays of sunshine that come down when ur feeling blue.
Water boy.
His young rash hot, sold more magazine covers in the first year then any other model and has an attitude that says who cares, its only fashion.
Hansels intro in Zoolander.
hansel; (talking about the people he likes) Sting, I don't really listen to his music but i respect that he makes it.
Zoolander (refering to his 3 friends that died in the petrol blast) They were like brothers to me, not like a brother but like black people say it because i think it has more meaning that way.
His so hot right now (Magoto)
I'm a hot little potato right now (magoto)
Submitted by Helpertin (user info) at 2003-06-22 04:59:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Big kid is trying to look at a 3D picture (the type you find in a magic eye book, he has been trying all do too see the picture but knows it is supposed to be a sailboat) then a kid runs up next to him and in half a second says
'Mommy mommy it's a schnooner [sp?]!' then the big kid yells out,
'Ha you idiot it's a sail boat!' says the big kid
'A schnooner is a sailboat dumb dumb' blurts out the smaller kid
'Oh ya well the easter bunny doesn't exist!' once again yelling at the little kid
Kid runs away crying...
From Mall Rats
Submitted by Jimmy23 (user info) at 2003-06-22 02:12:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Say hello to my little friend
-scarface-
hello clarace
-hannibal the cannibal-
Boy, whats the matter with ya? You too sssttupid?
-waterboy-
He said on my death bed I would achieve total conciousness, so I've got that going for me, which nice.
-caddyshack-
You smoke this shit to escape from reality? Me I don't need this shit......I am reality.
-platoon-
#1 Why Albania? #2 Why not? #1 What have they ever done to us? #2 What have they ever done FOR us? I mean What do YOU know about them? #1 Nothing. . . #2 See? they keep to themselves . . .shifty . . .untrustable
-wag the dog- and my personal favorite
he poked me in the eye!! captain insano shows no mercy!
-another waterboy-
No where in your rambling incoherent response did you come close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. We are all dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul.
A simple wrong would'a done just fine
-billy madison
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2003-06-22 01:21:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAppy Gilmore is the shit.
Shooter: "Stay out of my way, or you'll pay. Listen to what I say."
Happy: "How bout I just go eat some hay? I can make things out of clay and lay by the bay, I just may, whatdya say!?"
Fat guy(I can't think of his name): What day is it man?"
Norm MacDonald: "..........October?"
-Billy Madison-
Hippie Sales Clerk- Oh ya, this is a scale replica of the colony at Jamestown, ya ya, Most people dont realize this (Lifts lid off one of the buildings) but you can hdie your weed in there. Ya. YA."
-Adam Sandler in The hot chick-
Adam Sandler Kicks ass. I;m about to watch a Cheech and Chong movie so I'll probably have more.
Submitted by Rokinroj (user info) at 2003-06-21 21:56:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
From Happy Gilmore:
Shooter: You're in big trouble pal. I eat pieces of shit like you
for breakfast!
Happy: You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
haha...classic
Submitted by wing_nut74 (user info) at 2003-06-21 21:12:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"You gonna bark all day little dog, or are you gonna bite?" Mr.Blonde
Submitted by jesuscrust at 2003-06-21 19:07:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ash to henry the red: "yeah? well right now you ain't leading but two things, jack and shit, and jack left town." -Army of Darkness
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2003-06-21 19:07:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
R.P McMurphy to Dr. Spivey- one flew over the cucoos nest
But Doc, she was fifteen years old, going on thirty-five, Doc, and, uh, she told me she was eighteen and she was, uh, very willing, you know what I mean...I practically had to take to sewin' my pants shut. But, uh between you and me, uh, she might have been fifteen, but when you get that little red beaver right up there in front of ya, I don't think it's crazy at all now and I don't think you do either...No man alive could resist that, and that's why I got into jail to begin with. And now they're telling me I'm crazy over here because I don't sit there like a goddamn vegetable. Don't make a bit of sense to me. If that's what's bein' crazy is, then I'm senseless, out of it, gone-down-the-road, wacko. But no more, no less, that's it.
Submitted by ctrl_alt_del (user info) at 2003-06-21 18:36:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Frank Miller: "You son of a bitch, Humphrey."
James Humphrey: "You haven't even tried it!"
Frank Miller: (chews food)"You son of a bitch, Humphrey."
-Cannibal The Musical
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-06-21 18:23:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
man, i can't believe someone put up a "Cannibal, the Musical" quote!
awesome.
Submitted by Fleury75 (user info) at 2003-06-21 18:02:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I like you private, hell, you can come over and fuck my sister!" Full Metal Jacket
"Your the kind of guy that would fuck your friend in the ass, and not even have the coutesy to give him a reach-around!" Full Metal Jacket
Submitted by PuffInqAllDay (user info) at 2003-06-21 17:57:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"Please do not shoot at the thermal nuclear weapons"- John travolta, that stealth bomber movie....forget what its called.
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2003-06-21 17:51:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"There was me, that is Alex and my three droogs, that is Pete, Georgie and Dim. And we sat in the Korova milkbar trying to make up our razoodocks what to do with the evening. The Korova milkbar served milk plus. Milk plus vellocet, or synthemesc, or drencrom, which was what we were drinking. This would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old ultra-violence."
"It's funny how the colors of the real world only seem really real when you viddy them on the screen"
-spoken by alex, a clockwork orange
anything by al pacino from scxarface rules oto
Submitted by ctrl_alt_del (user info) at 2003-06-21 17:50:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good ones! I actually like just about all of Dark Helmet's lines.
Alfred Packer: "You're a liar!"
Frenchy Cabazon: "Are you calling me a liar?"
Alfred Packer: "Yeah."
-Cannibal: The Musical
"Fuck! Even in the future nothing works!"
-Dark Helmet, Spaceballs
"Once it touches your lips, it's just so good!"
-Frank the Tank, Old School
Submitted by AbeFroman (user info) at 2003-06-21 17:33:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"Ah you eeeting utha' peeplz lunchiz?!...WELL STAP' DOOENG EET!"
Arnie Schwartz, Kindergarden Cop.