NSFW SPT - uberpoll for da menz NSFW (1965 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.57 on 70 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by katy (View user info) at 2006-08-24 13:32:16 EDT
So, as promised, there's no real content but there is a poll.
Here's the first question - What hand is your dominant hand and what hand do you wank with?
Here's the second question - Why?
It seems to me the majority of the male half of the species appears to "switch hit" when it comes to what they write with and what they spank with. Girls seem to use their dominant hands but maybe because it's easier to guide a dildo and/or vibe with the hand that does everything else. More finesse required or something. I don't know.
So please post response with first your dominant hand, second your jerking hand and third why the hell you do it that way.
oh yeah and -2 away. I understand that reasoning.
Here's some soft porn in case you need help in discovering which hands are which.
User Reviews
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2007-03-27 11:24:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
right handed
wank usually with the right hand, although from time to time I switch it up.
Why? because!
PS her nipples look weird...and her face looks old and tired...
Submitted by jet_stream_nz (user info) at 2007-02-20 22:24:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't use my hands. I just suck myself off when you're mom's not around to do it for me.
<Queue the "My Mom's dead you inconsiderate etc" bullshit>
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2007-02-20 22:06:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ambiwankstrous here
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2006-09-18 13:58:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
r/r. I guess it could be argued that it has something to do with the fact that the head of my bed was to the right when you walked into my bedroom. So if someone abruptly opened the door they would see my left side and maybe I could fake my way out of getting caught.
That's probably bullshit, but it's an attempt at a reason.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2006-09-13 10:02:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Right and Right
Who the hell jacks with their weak hand?
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-09-05 13:42:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-25 12:57:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, I finished that story based on your dream...
"The Last Moments Of Katy" - http://www.ubersite.com/m/92261
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-08-25 11:03:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-08-25 03:26:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
I just put a load of rubber bands round it and jump up and down untill they start pinging off one by one.
-----------
how do you make a wheelchair jump?
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-08-25 04:13:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ambedextrious for everything EXCEPT writing.
For writing I'm a righthander.
For wanking, same thing.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-08-25 04:03:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm so good I can change hands without missing a stroke.
True story.
Submitted by SkinnyKenny (user info) at 2006-08-25 03:42:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Right on both counts, although I have been know to work the magic wand with both hands on occasion if I'm feeling particularly agile. Unfortunately, I also require both to type, so I'll be going now.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-08-25 03:26:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just put a load of rubber bands round it and jump up and down untill they start pinging off one by one.
Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2006-08-24 22:18:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm surprised any real proportion of people jerk off with the off hand. By definition, the good hand has both more strength and control.
And CHRIST, that is a pair of fucking ugly tits.
Submitted by 2004Dreaming (user info) at 2006-08-24 22:03:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
right
right
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-08-24 21:43:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My assistant handles that.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2006-08-24 21:05:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I write with my right and spank with my left. My right tends to be to rough and it just feels better with the left. Plus that way I can still type things like this review with my freehand.
UGH...get the tissues
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-08-24 20:22:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-24 16:40:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fine I wank with righty because righty is strong.
I masturbate so much half of my body is like the incredible hulk.
-------------
Do you have a wanker's muscle too? It looks like an extra fibre sausage just above the elbow, visible in most males over the age of 19
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-08-24 20:06:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I call it 'The Stranger'. What I do is sit on my left hand for a half hour until it goes numb and then I rub one out."
Spank and write with the right hand.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-24 19:55:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by whysenheimer (user info) at 2006-08-24 15:29:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-24 15:18:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
right/right.
Good god, that chick is pretty hideous
Jonny prefers the cock.
----
that's right - YOURS!!!!!!
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-24 19:33:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
right/both.
Sometimes I sit on my left hand for a few minutes so it gets numb. Then, it's like it's really not *me* jackin it, you know? WIERDDDDDD.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2006-08-24 18:11:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
GROSS!!!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-24 17:29:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm right handed
I use my left hand
I have no idea why
That chick really is nasty - next time post nude pics of yourself...
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2006-08-24 17:14:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dominant: Left
Wank: Left
Why: Couldn't even begin to tell you. Just naturally happened.
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2006-08-24 17:10:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
She might be lovely in real life, but her left nipple is freaking me out.
On to your question.....Im not quite sure. I shall report back my findings in the morning.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-08-24 16:54:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm left handed but I jerk off with whatever hand isn't shoved up my ass.
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-08-24 16:48:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That chick has nice legs.
Oh and, not speaking from experience or anything, I'm just speculating, but it would depend on whether it was on TV or on teh internets.
I assume that a dude would need his regular hand for the mouse, and his off hand for the snake.
Regular hand if on TV, I'm guessing.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-24 16:40:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fine I wank with righty because righty is strong.
I masturbate so much half of my body is like the incredible hulk.
Submitted by laika (user info) at 2006-08-24 16:31:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"COME ON GUYS, WAKE THE FUCK UP AND ANSWER MY FUCKING QUESTIONS!!!"
maybe you should offer to do another camwhore if you get a certain
number of responses. also, there is a severe shortages of female
voicewhores on this site.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-24 16:26:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Speaking of polls, why don't you swallow mine?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-08-24 16:12:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-24 15:54:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't masturbate
===========
I hope no one was killed just now when that lightning bolt hit.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-08-24 15:56:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you're a chick?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-24 15:54:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't masturbate
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-08-24 15:53:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you still didn't give your personal input to this poll.
COME ON GUYS, WAKE THE FUCK UP AND ANSWER MY FUCKING QUESTIONS!!!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-24 15:51:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, I find myself quite amusing at times
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-08-24 15:49:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i don't like you method.
it's a good thing you have a dick otherwise you'd have no redeeming qualities.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-24 15:48:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-24 15:18:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
right/right.
Good god, that chick is pretty hideous
-
I thought that was you?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-24 15:46:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know, I made that whole thing up
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-08-24 15:45:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
but a lot of southpaws i know jerk with their right hands. what about them? or are we putting them in the freaks of human nature? what if you're watching porn? would that help with right handing it because you're getting visual stimulation and don't need to fantasize?
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2006-08-24 15:43:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
She has Tara Reid Syndrome.
I wank, write, and shake with my right hand. That's shake the snake, and shake the bosses hand.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-24 15:39:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Your right side controls the left hemisphere, which manages your creativity, i.e. fantasizing about women. The left side controls logic, which is useless in this scenario, unless you get off thinking about the pythagorean theorem.
So if you're jerking off with the right hand, you can't focus on the fantasizing.
Submitted by whysenheimer (user info) at 2006-08-24 15:29:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-24 15:18:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
right/right.
Good god, that chick is pretty hideous
Jonny prefers the cock.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-08-24 15:28:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ok but why would the hemispheres have anything to do with masturbation. i can't see how something that monkeys do qualifies as either a left-brained or right-brained activity. why wouldn't you use the hand that you're more dextrous with to jerk off? wouldn't it make more sense to use the one with more skill in movement?
also - i have now written it down to no long add lexie marie to the list of porn stars that are fit for uber. and i'm surprised all of you looked at her face but i think it's only cuz ghola pointed it out. i'm sorry when i see nudity the last place i'm looking is into anyone's eyes.
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-08-24 15:26:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
right/can't. I can't have a wank anymore because my dick is all crooked. I jacked too hard one day and now it points straight down when I get a hardon. Public toilets are hell, especially when there are naughty drawings or flyers in the stall.
Submitted by nya_nyo (user info) at 2006-08-24 15:26:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
those are some of the tiniest nipples I've ever seen
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-24 15:21:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It has to do with the hemispheres of your brain. The left hemisphere controls the right side of the body (your right hand), and vice versa.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-24 15:18:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
right/right.
Good god, that chick is pretty hideous
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2006-08-24 15:15:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Right is dominant and primary jerker.
Left is auxilary jerker, mainly used to simulate a stranger (not to be confused with the actual "stranger" technique of sitting on your hand until its numb prior to jerkage).
Because of the inherent structure of the human body, the penis is not jerked forward during masturbation, but rather to the side of the hand in which it is jerked (i.e. to the right if you're going righty, left if lefty). Therefore, there are two entirely separate sensations to masturbation depending on the direction of the jerk. That's my guess as to why most men apparently "switch hit."
I'm pretty sure it depends on the mood, though.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-08-24 15:00:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm so not going to be able to compile statistics with this turn out.
Submitted by v8lover (user info) at 2006-08-24 14:57:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
.. and ya that bitch is FUGLY
Submitted by v8lover (user info) at 2006-08-24 14:55:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What, you don't use BOTH hands like me? (haha)
No seriously.
I write with my left, and wank with my right.
Why? I think it's because I need my articulate left hand (writing hand) to tickle my balls while my right hand does the rest.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-24 14:52:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Take a swing on over here.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-08-24 14:52:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I use my left, since that accident with the wood chipper and my right. Don't get me wrong, the hook/claw is nice and all, but surgical steel chafes.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-08-24 14:35:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i like when i have to use the baseball grip on someone.
makes me happy on the inside.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-24 14:17:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I switched about 10 years ago from the baseball grip...I think I got it goin', now. You should see me shoot.
Submitted by dove666 (user info) at 2006-08-24 14:13:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-24 13:38:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Right handed...over lapping grip.
.....................................
Try the vardon grip....
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-08-24 14:10:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have to use both hands.
It's a size thing.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-08-24 14:10:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Shit. I'm 5"7. I'm a fucking midget.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-08-24 14:09:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"Meh" to the picture.
And as an answer to your question, it depends on where I am. If it's just a quick spank, then I'm a lefty even though I'm right-hand dominant.
However, if I decide to lube up with a bit of shaving cream in the shower, then I'll use both hands at once. Firmer grip, more sensation, a masturbatory nirvana.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-08-24 14:03:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
she's 5'6 so she's not technically petite. at least not as far as her inseam goes.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-08-24 14:01:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Her nipples turned me off.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-08-24 13:59:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
She's got nice long legs.
It kind of sucks to be petite.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-24 13:53:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You should have photoshopped your head onto that broads' body.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-24 13:48:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm ambidextrous.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-08-24 13:40:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
she's cuter without the make up. i like her id photo more than her professional shots.
she's blonde with big tits. she sells. proof is in the numbers.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-08-24 13:38:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
that lady is massively ugly.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-24 13:38:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Right handed...over lapping grip.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-08-24 13:34:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nope. i should have a talk show. i could be a female jerry springer, minus the jewish part.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-08-24 13:34:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I prefer a vagina. If I had to go manual I use my righty for mostly everything. I do it to for the practice.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-24 13:33:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Don't you EVER shut the fuck up?
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-08-24 13:33:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I use melons that I cut holes in and microwave on 50% power for 30 seconds.
Erm, wait.....