Lisa, why won't you love me? (1107 hits)
Category: Politics -> AfghanistanRating: 1.61 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by gascs <gascs.at.findfriendsfree.com> (View user info) at 2003-10-27 10:30:23 EST
I've been driving 150 miles to Cleveland every day after work to hide outside in your bushes. From rummaging through your trash, I find out that you like Cap'n Crunch; I've brought boxes of it for you. Please, Lisa, come out and have some Cap'n Crunch.
I dream of the days when we can eat Jello together and talk of times past. I know if may be hard to move at first, but just think of the life we could have. I own my own trailer; I'm very financially secure. My Chevette only has 134,563 miles on it. Please, Lisa, come with me.
We can watch Full House reruns all night. I have cable TV. You love Full House, don't you, Lisa? Bob Saget always makes me chuckle. I'm saving up to buy a DVD player - my trailer park now has DVD rental in the management office. Please, Lisa, they have copies of Navy SEALS and Double Impact. Lisa, I can rub your feet whilst we watch Jean-Claude Van Damme fight in a mission of revenge.
I know you're obsessed with this Bart Cilfone character, but what does he have that I don't? Successful websites? Let me tell you, Lisa, the internet is overvalued. The real value is in my collection of Star Trek Commemorative Plates. The commercial says they may or may not appreciate in value, but we know the true story, don't we, Lisa? Come, these can be our retirement plan. Please, Lisa.
Don't worry about the other women, Lisa. I only have eyes for you. I keep a printout of your MSPaint self-portrait by my futon. I lovingly stare at it every night before I go to bed. Lisa, please, your cunning wit and biting charm have inspired me. I've scored a 37 on your test. Lisa, I hate the mall too. I study your posts like scripture.
Lisa, I have so much to offer you. I've recently completed my GED, and I'm taking some correspondence courses. Soon, I'll have an associate's degree in custodial science. Companies are always looking for janitors. Lisa, don't you see how much you could have? Don't you see the security?
Please, Lisa.
User Reviews
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2004-01-12 21:44:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This post appreciates in value.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2003-10-27 16:01:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
MickGinny, back so soon?
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2003-10-27 15:41:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
if stalking her day and night does not prove your love, i dont know what will.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-10-27 13:52:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Petruchio (user info) at 2003-10-27 13:33:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Category: Politics -> Afghanistan
WTF?
Submitted by Nicole3 (user info) at 2003-10-27 12:01:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Insane - did you add a "and Nicole" to the end of your "I love my Mom" tatoo? Shucks, how sweet. You certainly know the way to a girls heart.
Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2003-10-27 11:50:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually, I got a 26 (but I'm working on it).
My alter-ego Chuck the Fat Bare-Chested Busch-Drinkin' Stalker got a 37, but he may have looked at the answer key.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2003-10-27 11:44:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The more I read this, the funnier it gets. Did you actually get a 37? I suppose I could find out by reading through all the reviews, but...I have more awesome things to do.
I have an abnormally passionate hate for Bob Saget. I think you really are stalking me.
Submitted by sam_el (user info) at 2003-10-27 11:32:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What's wrong with you, Lis, this guy is quite a catch!
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-10-27 11:30:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This tattoo isn't comin' off, Nicole. I hope you like it.
Submitted by Nicole3 (user info) at 2003-10-27 11:29:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I didn't mean to insinuate that I wanted a love letter. Trust me, just knowing you care is enough.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2003-10-27 11:14:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Um?
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-10-27 11:02:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Don't worry, I've already written Nicole a love letter.
+1 made me smile
Submitted by Cup_of_Joe (user info) at 2003-10-27 10:58:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well Nicole, if you want I can write you a love letter.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-10-27 10:58:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
you "play" the psycho well.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-10-27 10:57:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2003-10-27 10:48:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahaha... you know your Uber life is complete when you have both your own hate and love posts.
Submitted by Nicole3 (user info) at 2003-10-27 10:42:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
How funny. I would be flattered if I were Lisa.
Submitted by Cup_of_Joe (user info) at 2003-10-27 10:35:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOW! Um....I don't know what to say. I think I'm jealous that I have noone special in my heart.