I got my ass kicked, and got even by killing the assholes dogs (488 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -1.5 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by DiggityDarth <Smeagol.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2006-08-26 18:16:20 EDT
Last Saturday I was leaving my local watering hole and pool hall when I bumped into my girlfriends ex. He is a playboy drug dealer millionaire who floats around on his speedboat all day drinking and smoking and doping, living off his daddy's credit card.
Now I'm not really condemning him, I'd probably do the same in his position. I don't have any issues with him being rich. My conflict with the guy is that he really fucking hates me, and last Saturday he and his buddies kicked the shit out of me. I was really confused at first, this guy has it all. Lots of screwing hot chicks, lots of drugs and money, fast cars, a boat, a house on the water. I didn't realize how much he disliked me until our little run in.
About a month ago, I'd heard that he'd been seeing a doc about serious depression. The cause of his depression was me "stealing" his girlfriend, whom he treated like shit. Anyways, apparently the reason he parties so much and leads such a self destructive life is somehow linked to me in his pampered mind.
When we ran into each other he didn't recognize me at first, I'd shaved my head. I was about to get in my truck, go home and sleep, when he and his two friend's started yelling at me. "Hey, hey!! Are you Dan!? HEY ASSHOLE ARE YOU DAN?" Shit yeah I'm Dan. And who the fuck are you? Ooo, shit I know you guys. Oo shit you guys are angry.
If I had one of those electronic key chains I probably would've gotten into my car and sped off, but the truck is old and I was drunk so I didn't make it to safety in time. Richey Rich is a pretty small dude; his friends were very much my size however. The fight probably lasted a minute or two. I gave one of them a few good licks, and kicked him in the the nads. Then it was their turn. I remember being punched in the eye, and then the chin.
The next morning I was at my buddy's house, with a black eye, cuts on my face, some bruised ribs and a burning rage, and it possessed me. I was going to get even. I was going to kill that fuck face's dogs. He had three of them, big old pure bred German Shepard watch dogs. Mean fuckers, real killers.
Then I thought to myself, wow that's retarded. Why kill his cool German doggys? Because he fucking kicked your ass that's why, a voice answered. So I shopped for some rat poison. Found some shit that killed rats in 3-6 days. Wasn't good enough. Went down to an Ace hardware, found some shit called "Just One Bite". It claimed to kill rats and other rodents within 24 hours. Wonder how fast it will kill a dog. I bought it, and some cheap steaks from the grocery store.
It was really too easy, I parked off near his street, watched his house, watched him leave, and watched his dogs bark at shit for a few minutes once he was gone. I had the steaks, sautéed in a delicious Sodium Fluoroacetate sauce, all ready for them. I stayed a little while longer, and I saw only 2 of the 3 dogs eat the poison steak. There was plenty for the third when I left.
I didn't feel satisfied though. I went back to the hardware store and bought some spray paint. Pink spray paint. 3 days later, I went to his house, there were no dogs outside and the steaks were not where I had thrown them. I waited for a half an hour, the little shit head hopped into his beamer and drove off. I followed him, all the way to this nice seafood restaurant. He got out of his care, finished a smoke and walked into the place. I then spray painted his rims pink, and a nice message on his windshield.
"I FUCK MEN".
PS- I don't feel bad about killing his dogs.
User Reviews
Submitted by mc (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:15:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 for the pink rims, -2 for killing his dogs and not just kicking his ass.
Submitted by andkorn (user info) at 2006-08-27 18:08:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
By the way, the reason I say _near_ death is so you can post your next confrontation with him on Ubersite. Have fun, (s)cumbag.
Submitted by andkorn (user info) at 2006-08-27 18:05:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
+2 for the pink rims and banner
-4 DIE YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE FOR KILLING INNOCENT DOGS!
I hope that guy finds were you live and beats you to near death, and then fucks you in the ass -- with no lube (to live up to the banner). You deserve it you piece of shit.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-08-26 20:21:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-26 20:04:18 (#)
Ranking: -2
Deplorable.
And probably not true.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-08-26 20:20:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Cracked_out_cali (user info) at 2006-08-26 18:43:05 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-08-26 18:34:08 (#)
Ranking: -2
If this story is even remotely true and you did kill someone's pets just because you're a little wimp and can't hold your own in a fight, you are a fucking scumbag.
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Submitted by stok (user info) at 2006-08-26 20:10:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i like steak how dare u poison a stake
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-26 20:04:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Deplorable.
And probably not true.
Submitted by malkavian (user info) at 2006-08-26 19:20:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Why would you post that?
You just proved you're a fucking pussy. Not only did you kill some guy's pets because he beat the shit out of your sorry ass, but you did it by POISONING them, the wimpiest way to kill something.
That's weak and pathetic.
Submitted by GoldPlatedOrange (user info) at 2006-08-26 19:09:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it. Why cares how true it is?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-08-26 19:08:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
die
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-26 19:08:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
uhhhhhhhh no?
Submitted by Cracked_out_cali (user info) at 2006-08-26 18:43:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-08-26 18:34:08 (#)
Ranking: -2
If this story is even remotely true and you did kill someone's pets just because you're a little wimp and can't hold your own in a fight, you are a fucking scumbag.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-08-26 18:34:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If this story is even remotely true and you did kill someone's pets just because you're a little wimp and can't hold your own in a fight, you are a fucking scumbag.