Stereotypes (574 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.64 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Nigga Nolan (View user info) at 2006-08-28 00:06:27 EDT
Stereotypes can be very helpful when meeting a person for the very first time. For example, if you're having your co-workers over to your house for supper, or any other gathering, you will most likely be expected to provide some sort of food and/or entertainment. Using stereotypes we can conclude that many African-Americans enjoy fried chicken and rap battles. Providing these at your gathering would prove successful and you'll come out with a variety of new friends and maybe even a lovely new wife. In any case, you'll get hours of enjoyment and the feeling of pure ecstasy all thanks to the use of stereotypes. But not all stereotypes are correct. In fact, using stereotypes can prove to be very dangerous and could result in your doom. I found this out in the most difficult way possible.
One morning after a particular successful party that I hosted for some Korean friends of mine that consisted of me murdering my dog to provide the proper meal for them, we went to the local lake to meet with my African-American friend, Charles. Charles was an African-American through and through which delighted me as I am a big fan of culture and all the things that go with that. After arriving ten minutes late, Charles jokingly lambasted me for my tardiness and threatened bodily harm on my family if it were to happen again. I told him my excuse and he immediately felt great embarrassment and sorrow for his mistake. I told him he had no need to worry because we were such great friends that it didn't even matter. We shook hands and hugged each other repeatedly.
We then began to make our way slowly to where our mutual Korean friends were gathered. They were readying their rods and poles to enjoy some fishing. They were so proficient at this, that they had already prepared me and Charles' pole. We thanked them and hugged them repeatedly until they had all been loved the appropriate amount of time. After a slight delay in our activities due to the confusion of whose soda was whose, we threw our lines into the water that were baited with not only worms, but with friendship as well. This would insure, we had assumed, a very successful day of fishing. We were dead wrong.
After a few hours, Korean friend number one was the first to notice that no fishes had attempted to eat our worms. Immediately a physical fight broke out among us. We were very angry. Why had no fishes come to eat our wonderful worms? Needless to say, our feelings were almost damaged beyond repair. This could have been the end to our friendships, but I decided to take action. "Charles!" I cried erotically, "Take my clothes!" I slowly stripped off all my clothing and handed them to a very confused looking Charles. "I'm going to swim around in the lake to see what's up with those fishes." I explained. "Oh, alright then," Charles said with a sigh of relief and with a touch of indifference.
I dived in to the cold water and swam to the very bottom where I discovered that I didn't know how to swim. After panicking for a few moments, I decided to breathe in as much water as I could and try to extract the oxygen from it. After a few failed attempts, I blacked out. I awoke to a very wet Charles breathing into my mouth and pushing on my bulging, hairy chest.
"Charles," I stammered, "I don't understand. Did you save me? Can you swim?" Charles looked down at the ground and then back at me. "I can swim. It's just a stereotype that black people can't swim," he explained. I was bewildered. My whole world turned upside down. "I don't like fried chicken or rapping," he added. My universe exploded. My Korean friends also explained that they don't eat dog meat. That was even more surprising. It took me a few months to properly digest all this new information; that stereotypes are awful, terrible things that can only destroy you. What a good thing to learn!
User Reviews
Submitted by Uberjunkie (user info) at 2006-08-28 18:04:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2006-08-28 01:09:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you. Please try again.
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ditto
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:36:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This rocks.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:30:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I loved this somehow.
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:14:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
youre not a very good story teller but then again, this wasnt a very good story
Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:10:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"After panicking for a few moments, I decided to breathe in as much water as I could and try to extract the oxygen from it. After a few failed attempts, I blacked out."
PLUS
MOTHER
FUCKING
TWO
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:10:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Electro?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:55:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I enjoy fried chicken and rap battles
Submitted by mc (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:42:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Zol (user info) at 2006-08-28 07:40:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hrhr
Submitted by 2004Dreaming (user info) at 2006-08-28 05:24:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it was good up til the last paragraph. then it was letdown city.
+2 for everything up til then tho
Submitted by Awko (user info) at 2006-08-28 04:18:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not great. But not terrible either.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-08-28 01:42:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Did you get a chubby when you tasted those big soup-coolers?
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2006-08-28 01:09:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you. Please try again.
Submitted by paint_it_black (user info) at 2006-08-28 01:06:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hhhmmmmmmmmmmmm
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-08-28 00:10:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nigger pls