UberMadness IV - Rules and Entry Info! (5853 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0.83 on 295 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Snark << snarkk.at.gmail.com (View user info) at 2006-08-28 11:01:59 EDT
I. Consent to Rules
If you participate in UberMadness, either by writing or voting, you are implicitly agreeing to abide by the rules set forth in this post. Any subsequent rule changes or clarifications made by Snark on this post are considered official.
If you break these rules, the nice folks who run UberMadness reserve the right to do pretty much anything they want, up to banning you from UberMadness forever, massaging your cat to orgasm, and/or licking all the contents of your fridge.
II. What is UberMadness?
UberMadness, at its heart, is an elimination tournament that plays upon the "write anything" ideals of Ubersite and the one trait shared by all humans - the burning desire to crush all who oppose you.
This year, Ubermadness is using a new format, which is a Swiss style double elimination tournament. Basically this means you have to lose twice before you are out of the tournament.
In the place of brackets, there will be standings.
Here's the super simple version of UberMadness IV's tournament structure:
Don't lose twice and you'll be the UberLord.
UberMadness IV is a double elimination tournament, but it is not a standard "bracketed" double elimination tournament. It is instead a sick bastardization of a Swiss Style tournament and a double elimination tournament dreamed up by Razor most likely after he fell asleep watching Robot Chicken.
In every round, you will be paired up against someone with the same record as you who you have not faced in a prior round.
Unlike a bracketed tournament, your next opponent is unknown until the finish of the round before... who you go up against gets determined by your winning percentage, but the details of the formula are left to the full version.
Later on in the tournament, a couple of byes may get handed out depending on how things break down...and at the end, the tournament will branch in one of two ways depending on whether someone can remain undefeated all the way to the finals, or whether we have a few people left with very good records but still one loss. The details are complicated, but it won't be so bad once it all goes down.. it's all explained in advance in the full version, which is attached to this post in word document form.
In the end, we will be down to one person, and that person shall henceforth be known as the Uberlord, at least until the next UberMadness ends and they have to pass off their title. It's sort of like being a beauty queen... except you're butt ugly and you know it.
III. OK, so there are one-on-one matchups. How do they work?
People who are paired off against each other will be given the same title.
Titles were submitted by Uber here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/85016
Snark will pick the titles and assign them to each round. Don't like your title? You know whom to blame.
You can find your title by clicking on the "Submit" link. You know, the place where people should really stop and think before making asses out of themselves.
You will still be able to submit normally to Ubersite, but you will also see a link that says "Click here to submit your UberMadness entry, 'Title' "
Click on the link, and either write or paste your post in.
Attachments are allowed, BUT PUTTING UP A NOT SAFE FOR WORK ATTACHMENT IS GROUNDS FOR A DISQUALIFICATION.
Once both people have submitted their posts, they will be posted under the username of UberMadness. People who are voting will have no way to distinguish whose is whose. In fact, they won't even know which pair of people is writing against any particular title until the results are posted.
IV. What am I supposed to write?
Anything you want. A story, a poem, a drawing, an animation... anything you can put up on Ubersite, you can put up on UberMadness.
What will win is a separate question as those who have seen past installments can attest to.
There are some caveats, see rule XIII.
V. I submitted by post, but it isn't showing up!!!1!one!
That's because your opponent hasn't submitted his. Don't hit back and try to resubmit it, Dumbass.
VI. How does the voting work anyway?
When someone reads the post, instead of seeing the usual replies below, they will be presented with the option of voting for post one or post two. After making the decision, they will be able to enter a comment as usual.
Once the vote and comment are confirmed, the display will change. They will be able to see how many votes have been lodged for post one, how many have been lodged for post two, and who voted for what. They will also be able to see any comments left behind by other voters. From that point forward, it is like a regular Ubersite post for them. They will be able to rate and comment as they wish.
You are allowed (and expected) to vote for your post. You may not want to vote immediately after it shows up, because that can reveal you as the author.
In the event of a tie, the winner will be decided by last years Uberlord.
VII. Why are some of my votes (or why is my vote) showing up greyed out and in italics?
To help prevent cheating, there are certain criteria that need to be met in order for your vote to count. The criteria are pretty damn easy to meet. If you just arrived at Ubersite, sorry. That doesn't prevent you from voting, it just prevents your vote from counting. If you have 3 posts OR 100 reviews, your vote will count.
VIII. Does that mean that theoretically I could get more total votes but still lose because some of them don't count? How is that fair?
Go ask Al Gore. It happened twice in UberMadness I. Whatever you do, don't come crying to me... my advice is to claim the moral high ground and tell everyone how you should have won the tourney. I mean after all, what's a tournament without someone saying they got robbed? WE NEED THE DRAMA PEOPLE!
IX. What happens if my opponent doesn't submit by the due date?
Your opponent forfeits and is not invited to next years contest.
X. Woohoo! Free ticket to the next round!
Not so fast buddy. People still have the option to vote for either your post or the word forfeit.
XI. So you're telling me I can lost to a forfeit? That's crap!
No, it's not. If you can't beat the word forfeit with a little sad face next to it, you certainly aren't going to be able to beat some of the heavy hitters in this tournament.
XII. What happens if someone loses to a forfeit or there is a double forfeit?
Good question. If one of those two situations arises, the following steps are taken:
If it is the first round, people who are on "standby", i.e. people who came in at 65+ after their submissions were judged, take the position the winner would have taken.
XIII. Is there anything I'm NOT allowed to do?
Yes, unfortunately, because people are buttheads. All of the following are grounds for disqualification:
You are NOT allowed to reveal your identity or the identity of your opponent intentionally.
You are NOT allowed to post NSFW pictures.
You are NOT allowed to plagiarize. We have a whole committee of people who are checking for it, so don't even fucking try it.
Multiple account voting. We know who you are.
Asking people to come vote on your post specifically.
People can now be disqualified for breaking the spirit of Ubermadness fairness. The Spirit of Ubermadness Fairness is defined in the following way: The winner and loser on any post on Ubermadness should be based upon an anonymous vote based upon the better entry, with no tricks.
Attempting to solicit votes has been addressed before, but the spirit definition has been introduced to cover things like what Method did last time around, entering his post with a fake image, making it look like there were two entry 1's, or the other time where he put up his opponent's post on the Uberboard and said to go vote for it to create a negative backlash, and generally doing anything in his power to create confusion.
The idea of introducing a general concept rather than trying to cover specific things that would violate the rules is that people will think of any clever way they can to get through loopholes in the rules, and this addresses that.
It can be summed up by: "Don't be an asshole, asshole."
XIV. OMG!!?! My opponent broke a rule but you haven't done anything!!!
While we do our best to catch everything, we're only human. If you see something, let us know.
We will not automatically disqualify someone who has broken the rules but you will find that we adhere to them with a lot more vigor than in past tournaments. If you break a rule - inadvertently or not - the odds are not in your favor.
Your opponent will be contacted and his opinion taken. If we are unable to contact your opponent in a timely fashion (by the end of the voting period, or before new titles are assigned) we will consider the infraction grounds for disqualification.
XV. What's the schedule like? How much time do I have to write?
All times are U.S. Eastern Standard Time, which is the Ubersite clock time, so don't tell me you were confused by time zones. I don't want to hear it.
The official day for titles to be assigned is Friday.
You will then have eight days - to Friday of the following week- at 12:00 midnight to submit your title. Just to clarify, that means one minute after 11:59 PM Friday night, so technically Saturday morning, but whatever.
Remember, if both you and your opponent submit early, your post will show up a few minutes after the second submission.
Voting for each round closes Thursday at midnight.
The results for each round will be posted on Friday.
The next set of titles will then be handed out. Is it possible you'll have your titles as early as Friday morning? Yes. Am I going to promise them to you? Nope. I will committ to sometime Saturday.
** NOTE:
The first round will be broken up into two groups. You'll find out if you're in group A or group B just as soon as I figure seedings (See section XXII.)
XVI. When does the tournament start?
Unless Bart vetoes this, Madness will start Friday September 11th
XVII. When do we get to see the initial matchups? I wanna know where I'm seeded. I wanna know who my opponent is. I wanna...
STFU! As soon as I have it finished, I'll publish it.
Props to the committee: FilthyAssistant, JonnyX, Baddassmofo, and C1ndy who continually save me from myself.
Thank you to all of them a second time in advance for taking the time out to judge the horde of preliminary submissions.
XVIII. What's up with the consolation brackets?
There will be no consolation brackets in this years Tourney. UM IV is a double elimination tournament. Lose twice and you're out.
XIX. Wait a minute. What about the Sweet 16?
The Sweet 16 will still exist. If you're one of the last 16 competitors, congrats, you made it.
Due to the limited number of spots in this years tournament, the Sweet 16 from last year will not receive auto invites this year.
The only auto invites go to past Uberlords. (Hey it's gotta be worth something) Two of the three Uberlords are not available to compete which leaves Jack McCallum. Congratulations Jack.
XXI. OK! OK! But how do I get in this freakin thing?
Ahhh here we go!
This year, anyone who is a registered user of Ubersite and has 3 + posts OR 100 reviews as of 2006-08-24 is eligible.
Forfeits from last year will NOT be invited this year.
This includes:
Totally_useless
ScoutCJustice
chipolatte
sublime
DeathJester
Kai070169
Lisa
wallstreet
thirty_four_eggs
papajoe
vermin
the_walrus
pen_name
NerfHerder
Id
Yes
iddqd
JGreening
jack11058
razor
antluvdog
adamdidit2u
Application to UM IV will be entirely submission based.
Interested people can send a sample of their work to umsubs.at.gmail.com. The same rules apply for your application submission as a contest entry except submissions are limited to written word (between 500 and 800 word limit) and it is not alright to send in an old post. Sending in new material means your submission will remain anonymous as it won't be readily recognized by the judges.
This goes for past Uberlords as well so that we can properly seed them for the first round.
Submissions can be sent in MS Word, or .txt form and must be double spaced for ease of reading.
Story title and your username must be in the subject line of the email.
Titles can be chosen by yourself.
Only 1 submission per person will be accepted. If more than one is sent, the first one will be judged and all later submissions will be summarily ignored.
If you inadvertently send the wrong thing, send me an email (snarkk.at.gmail.com) and I'll evaluate your request.
I am the only person with access to the UMSubs account. I will keep a master list of who submitted what. I will remove the names from submissions, assign them a number and send them to the judges (Committee and Razor) for evaluation of a score between 1-10.
Once I have received all judges scores, I will enter them into my magic tally sheet. The 64 users with the top rated submissions will be entered in UM IV.
Admission into UM IV will not be determined by a general Ubersite user vote as in the past.
XXII. When can we start sending submissions and how long till you stop taking them?
You can submit your story NOW.
Deadline for submissions is Midnight EST, Monday Sept 4.
Names of those who made it into UM IV will be announced Monday Sept 11.
Seeding for the first round of the tournament will be based on your submission score.
Good luck to everyone.
UBERMADNESS IV TOURNEY RULES.doc (30 kB) [application/msword]
User Reviews
Submitted by ColchesterDr (user info) at 2009-04-10 02:43:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2008-09-15 15:20:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by PMN (user info) at 2006-12-05 13:11:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have about 99 more reviews to make
Submitted by _God (user info) at 2006-12-04 22:22:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My vote doesn't count!
I feel like a black guy during the 2000 race.
Submitted by PokeyMen (user info) at 2006-09-25 14:23:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have three posts. Why aren't my votes counting?
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-09-02 12:43:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bulbous would be more to the point.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2006-09-02 06:00:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Pompous asses.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-09-02 05:07:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-09-01 12:29:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
Even if that Filthy English goat fucker is involved.
===
Don't talk about c1ndy that way.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-09-02 04:04:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Woooo
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-09-01 12:46:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-09-01 12:33:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Soups on fishes?
==============
That SUCKED. I feel shame.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-09-01 12:33:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Soups on fishes?
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-09-01 12:29:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My helpless Snark fetish insists that I MUST enter.
And beat up all who oppose you.
I mean, it's you running it. Even if that Filthy English goat fucker is involved.
My entry shall read "I am a fish." 200 times. You will praise it.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-09-01 11:14:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-09-01 01:26:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't worry about it too much guys. I've pushed back the submittal date, so the start date will be a bit later too.
Some time after the 15th... not sure when exactly.
--
*rubs hands together and grins shit-eating grin.*
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-09-01 01:26:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't worry about it too much guys. I've pushed back the submittal date, so the start date will be a bit later too.
Some time after the 15th... not sure when exactly.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2006-08-31 19:13:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack, join mine too. It will be funny if the Uberlord is in DPM, even if you don't spend much time on your DPM post because it's at the same time as UM. No one will get mad at you.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-31 11:20:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-08-31 00:36:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
So is it to start on the 15th or the 11th or the 8th?
If it starts on the 15th I'm not available. Real life vacation gets in the way.
Like anybody cares.
bigmike1960.at.go.com
--
I'm in the same boat, big guy. For round 1, anyway. Gonna be tough.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2006-08-31 04:43:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Join this instead: http://www.ubersite.com/m/92455
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2006-08-31 03:47:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I consider it a lost oppertunity.
I could enter, but I STILL wouldn't get the chance to use "VOTE DOLE!".
Damnit.
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2006-08-31 01:29:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nooooooo!!! Please! Give me another chance!
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-08-31 00:36:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So is it to start on the 15th or the 11th or the 8th?
If it starts on the 15th I'm not available. Real life vacation gets in the way.
Like anybody cares.
bigmike1960.at.go.com
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-30 22:45:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
those titles were awesome.
i'm going to use one for this entrance thing.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-30 22:31:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-30 22:21:26 (#)
Ranking: -2
baseballwriter- and my last 4 OTHER email addresses are all dead...I'll email you from a live one in the morning.
I have to go deal with the "Tropical Depression" tonight.
--
Shlongy's gonna explain to the maid why he can't give her a raise for the fifth year running. His line usually involves some bullshit about INS fees...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-30 22:21:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
baseballwriter- and my last 4 OTHER email addresses are all dead...I'll email you from a live one in the morning.
I have to go deal with the "Tropical Depression" tonight.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-30 20:45:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-30 20:06:00 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-30 15:12:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-29 18:58:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
Am I in or what?
===============
Throw me an email when you can.
I already did. I'm very surprised my entry, which was extremely well-written if you may say so yourself, wasn't your first "invite".
Truthfully, I'm a pretty shitty writer except in the satirical arena, and I don't have time to write stuff- which is why I review so frequently. Most of my reviews contain 9 words or less.
Don't tell anyone but I don't even read at LEAST 50% of what I review. I can just "tell"- it's a gift - whether or not something sucks balls.
That's the body of work that I choose to leave to Uber and to the world.
=======================
Actually, it isn't about you competing.
I sent an email to your baseballwriter account explaining it.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-30 20:42:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The suspense is giving me a hard on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-30 20:09:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Those fuckin' titles.....buahauahuahauahauhaahahahahahua et. al.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-30 20:08:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-30 15:44:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-30 15:12:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-29 18:58:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
Am I in or what?
===============
Throw me an email when you can.
--
Damn, we better get some title submissions Shlongy can use, and fast!
Here are twenty to get the ball rolling.
The Nine Iron of the Gods
I Have Two Bulges in My Pants, Babe, and One of Them is My Wallet
Blood on the Green
The Quest for the 100 Year Old Single Malt
That's the Third Pool Boy I've Killed This Month for Ogling My Wife
Shut Up and Buff the Other Shoe, Pedro
I Just Bought Your Ass and Now I'm Gonna Fuck It
Do What I Ask or I Evict Your Mother
I May Be a Bastard, But I'm a Bastard With Money
Bwahahaha!
The Retard Circus Comes to Town
Do Your Housekeeping Duties in the Heels and Corset I Gave You or It's Back to Nicaragua
Damn, I'm Good
Walk Away or I'll Rip Off the Other Ear
Shouldn't You be Clipping Coupons?
One Last Cigar
Mr. Incredible
We'll See Who Has the Last Laugh as Soon as I Slap a Little Lube on This Lousville Slugger
Don't Talk When Your Mouth is Full
Shlong y Tu, Mamacita
BUAHAUAHUAHAUAHAHAHahahahah...
Tell me...how come Jack is hilarious one day...and a boring, miserable, pompous cat loving mo the next?
GREAT TITLES.
They should be used for the REGULAR contest.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-30 20:06:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-30 15:12:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-29 18:58:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
Am I in or what?
===============
Throw me an email when you can.
I already did. I'm very surprised my entry, which was extremely well-written if you may say so yourself, wasn't your first "invite".
Truthfully, I'm a pretty shitty writer except in the satirical arena, and I don't have time to write stuff- which is why I review so frequently. Most of my reviews contain 9 words or less.
Don't tell anyone but I don't even read at LEAST 50% of what I review. I can just "tell"- it's a gift - whether or not something sucks balls.
That's the body of work that I choose to leave to Uber and to the world.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2006-08-30 19:44:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
(2+0)/2= A rating of 1.
Are people who were disqualified for cheating in the last tournament, such as myself, allowed in?
So you've replaced the second worst standard of all (Ubersite in general) with THE worst (Razor and friends)??? I'll make sure my entry submission sucks.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2006-08-30 19:34:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://ubersite.com/m/92349#2120635
"Hitwhorting for the sake of hitwhoring." As oppossed to... hitwhoring for the sake of building a giant hit-powered laser to aim at Norway?
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-30 16:58:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-08-30 16:52:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
i am. still working on my entry though.
cause i'll weep if i dont get in. it'll be just like highschool where i didn't get to sit at the cool kids table.
======================
Fuck the cool kids. Come smoke a doob with me behind the gymnasium.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-08-30 16:52:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i am. still working on my entry though.
cause i'll weep if i dont get in. it'll be just like highschool where i didn't get to sit at the cool kids table.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-30 16:44:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-08-30 16:43:04 (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks snark.
jussss wonderin'
=============
No worries, hope you plan on entering.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-08-30 16:43:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks snark.
jussss wonderin'
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-30 16:41:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-30 16:15:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
snark this is my email address
apollo88.at.gmail.com
i'm not going to reverify
my verified address is jamiek88.at.tiscali.co.uk but is defunct.
================================
Sounds good Appollo,
Ghola,
Most people are still working on their submissions. I haven't counted how many I've got including today. I'll be looking at it tonight after work.
A decent amount of interest shown via emails to my account though... which is probably the most unclear answer I could've given you... I should be in politics.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-30 16:15:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
snark this is my email address
apollo88.at.gmail.com
i'm not going to reverify
my verified address is jamiek88.at.tiscali.co.uk but is defunct.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-08-30 16:03:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hey snark, can you let us know around how many ppl have entered so far?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-30 15:44:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-30 15:12:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-29 18:58:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
Am I in or what?
===============
Throw me an email when you can.
--
Damn, we better get some title submissions Shlongy can use, and fast!
Here are twenty to get the ball rolling.
The Nine Iron of the Gods
I Have Two Bulges in My Pants, Babe, and One of Them is My Wallet
Blood on the Green
The Quest for the 100 Year Old Single Malt
That's the Third Pool Boy I've Killed This Month for Ogling My Wife
Shut Up and Buff the Other Shoe, Pedro
I Just Bought Your Ass and Now I'm Gonna Fuck It
Do What I Ask or I Evict Your Mother
I May Be a Bastard, But I'm a Bastard With Money
Bwahahaha!
The Retard Circus Comes to Town
Do Your Housekeeping Duties in the Heels and Corset I Gave You or It's Back to Nicaragua
Damn, I'm Good
Walk Away or I'll Rip Off the Other Ear
Shouldn't You be Clipping Coupons?
One Last Cigar
Mr. Incredible
We'll See Who Has the Last Laugh as Soon as I Slap a Little Lube on This Lousville Slugger
Don't Talk When Your Mouth is Full
Shlong y Tu, Mamacita
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-30 15:21:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hehehe don't be scared.
Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-08-30 15:14:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think I just lost interest. And I've been waiting for this for a long time.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-30 15:12:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-29 18:58:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
Am I in or what?
===============
Throw me an email when you can.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-30 12:46:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-29 22:04:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-29 21:52:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-28 23:12:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I have a better idea. Post the names of those who were accepted, and if your name ain't in the list, you ain't in, simple and non-embarrassing.
If you want to know if I submitted the entry, you have my e-mail. Just ask. . .
_________________
So, Snarkypoo and RazorDude, what is the story? Are you really going to post who won the submission contest and who didn't? Please don't do that, as it would be really stupid. . .
================
There won't be any need to post names Bubba, we got it figured out.
________________________________
Cool. I might put up something I've been working on. Don't worry, it won't be
a purposely contrived piece of shit like that "Antonio" thing I threw up last night.
Although, "Antonio" did just what I predicted . . .
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-30 11:21:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-30 10:34:11 (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh boy...now I can sleep better knowing that kaos is "in".
I don't see why anyone would give a fuck if you were "in" or "out".
I know I don't but thanks for this Earth-shattering announcement.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
E-fucking-xactly!
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-08-30 10:37:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and Kaos would kill that bitch like Samoa Joe.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-08-30 10:36:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait, did ETS enter?
Oh man, I already call party foul because his net-fuckbuddy on the committee.
</kidding>
But now I almost wish I hadn't forfeited against Donk in the consolation round.
Just to whip his sorry taint.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-30 10:34:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh boy...now I can sleep better knowing that kaos is "in".
I don't see why anyone would give a fuck if you were "in" or "out".
I know I don't but thanks for this Earth-shattering announcement.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-30 10:29:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-08-29 00:55:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Finally, no I wasn't the one that decided to "turn a non-issue into a big deal". It was you that came out of the blue to inform us all why the great and powerful Kaos_King regrettably wouldn't be able to offer up his blessed participation in this year's UM.
Whatever...go focus on your writing, dude.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
You know, the more I think about this...
You're absolutely RIGHT Brad - I should focus on my writing.
I think I'll join up with UM4 after all.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-29 22:04:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-29 21:52:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-28 23:12:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I have a better idea. Post the names of those who were accepted, and if your name ain't in the list, you ain't in, simple and non-embarrassing.
If you want to know if I submitted the entry, you have my e-mail. Just ask. . .
_________________
So, Snarkypoo and RazorDude, what is the story? Are you really going to post who won the submission contest and who didn't? Please don't do that, as it would be really stupid. . .
================
There won't be any need to post names Bubba, we got it figured out.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-29 21:52:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-28 23:12:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I have a better idea. Post the names of those who were accepted, and if your name ain't in the list, you ain't in, simple and non-embarrassing.
If you want to know if I submitted the entry, you have my e-mail. Just ask. . .
_________________
So, Snarkypoo and RazorDude, what is the story? Are you really going to post who won the submission contest and who didn't? Please don't do that, as it would be really stupid. . .
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-08-29 21:08:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-08-29 20:47:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2006-08-29 20:38:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
To keep up with the Jones' nowadays on Ubersite, you are forced to conform to what the bulk of people are posting, which is not serious at all. It is an Ubersite era that is filled with Habeeb's MSPaint pictures, hitwhoring for the sake of hitwhoring, camwhores, giant balls of shit and other scandalous things.
-----------------------------
What a cunt
----
Has there EVER been an Ubersite without those things?
It's a symbiant circle. Once those droids will take control of the surface, they will take control of you.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-08-29 20:47:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2006-08-29 20:38:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
To keep up with the Jones' nowadays on Ubersite, you are forced to conform to what the bulk of people are posting, which is not serious at all. It is an Ubersite era that is filled with Habeeb's MSPaint pictures, hitwhoring for the sake of hitwhoring, camwhores, giant balls of shit and other scandalous things.
-----------------------------
What a cunt
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2006-08-29 20:38:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know if this line of thought has previously been conveyed on this post, because I don't feel like reading all of the reviews. But I'm gathering a general distaste for the rules. My opinion is what follows. It's just an opinion so before you get all up in arms, you should know my opinion means absolutely nothing to very many people.
UberMadness has historically been a fun competition on Uber. However, there are certain people who have ruined it for those of you who are bitching about too many rules. Dare I say some of you were having too much fun? I believe the intention of the contest in the first place was for serious writers to write some serious pieces.
This website has essentially become a giant pile of shit in terms of serious writing. Have I contributed to the manifesting problem? You bet I have. Do I look forward to this competition? Yes, I certainly do. To keep up with the Jones' nowadays on Ubersite, you are forced to conform to what the bulk of people are posting, which is not serious at all. It is an Ubersite era that is filled with Habeeb's MSPaint pictures, hitwhoring for the sake of hitwhoring, camwhores, giant balls of shit and other scandalous things.
I don't use Ubersite to write seriously because, if you didn't come in being serious, you'll never be taken that way. It's hard to get a good critique as a result.
I'm glad there are rules that only let 64 people in. I hope that if my submission is not top quality that it is not accepted. This competition is about quality writing. If you don't like that, then don't participate. Don't submit. And for God's sake stop complaining. If you don't like something, try to change it. Don't complain.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-29 18:58:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Am I in or what?
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2006-08-29 18:53:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Another 2 months of yellow M's and bullshit besides.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-29 14:49:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-29 13:28:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll clarify when entrants are announced Jack.
--
Gotcha.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-08-29 14:12:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-29 13:28:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll clarify when entrants are announced Jack.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-08-29 12:40:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-29 11:11:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
Just off yourself already you tiny little psycopath.
-------------------
Now you're reduced to being redundant redundant?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-29 12:27:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Unless Bart vetoes this, Madness will start Friday September 11th."
--
Unless I have a brain tumor or have slipped into a parallel universe, the 8th of September is a Friday and the 11th is a Monday.
So if UberMadness starts on a Friday it starts on the 8th but you EXPLICITLY state that it starts on the 11th, 9/11, and is that a coincidence or are you trying to jinx all the Americans? So if it starts on the 11th it starts on a Monday but you EXPLICITLY state that titles are handed out on Fridays, but... (etc., etc., per ets)
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-29 11:11:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-08-28 23:15:28 (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't know what a jaxkass is, but you go girl.
---
Now you're reduced to pointing out typos?
Just off yourself already you tiny little psycopath.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-29 10:58:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-08-29 10:20:55 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 23:40:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-08-28 23:17:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
I know how to solve the email problem 100%.
I will email you about it Snark. ""
yeah as long as there is some understanding the email i verified with is long dead.
-------
Might want to go into your profile and change it then. """
no becuase it reverifies and takes days to come through.
i think apollo88.at.gmail.com has been around long enough to be real.
Submitted by blueboy (user info) at 2006-08-29 10:37:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-08-29 10:20:55 (#)
Ranking: 0
Might want to go into your profile and change it then.
---------------------
Damn it! Now I have to hope bart will both to send me that email since darko is dead until then.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-08-29 10:20:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 23:40:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-08-28 23:17:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
I know how to solve the email problem 100%.
I will email you about it Snark. ""
yeah as long as there is some understanding the email i verified with is long dead.
-------
Might want to go into your profile and change it then.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-08-29 09:56:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:34:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
If we let Europeans come up with the rules, all the contests would end up in a tie resolved via spelling bee.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A 'spelling bee' is an American thing isn't it??
I don't know if I can be bothered with all this.. Too many rules, submission piece, blah.. and I'll end up with my partner forfeiting again and...
I probably should use the time studying anyway.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-08-29 08:57:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You have to know that the drama is part of the fun. I started an entry, deleted the entire thing, went to a boring 3 hour long seminar where I kept from going bezerker by thinking about my entry, came back, wrote part of it, and then deleted it again.
NOW I remember how much stress UM causes me, but fuck it you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
(I read that on a t-shirt once so it has to be true)
I'm published, it's true. Some of my finest work is on the SEC website if anyone is interested, boring stuff really but it is published.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-08-29 08:15:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
To quote I. Reilly, of New Orleans, LA:
"This is an abortion."
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-08-29 05:10:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If I get in it will mean I make it to the second round, yessssss!
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2006-08-29 05:07:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I might as well have forfeited with the gem I contributed last year... Oh well, this year I guess I'll just win the whole thing to make up for it.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-29 04:55:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wide awake at 2am and in six hours I have to be at work. Fuck.
Anyhow, well done, kk.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-08-29 03:47:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BTW Kaos, congrats!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-08-29 03:32:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck to all the contestants!
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-08-29 02:42:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I feel like the nerd who doesn't get invited to the cool kids' party.
Today is Opposite Day, isn't it?
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-08-29 01:56:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Nursery school masturbation is comical.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-08-29 01:54:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh geez people.
ETS: go listen to some Michael Franti with or without Spearhead. His songs are INCREDIBLE.
and completely relevant to some of the awful things going on in this world.
You may like it.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-29 01:53:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck!!!
ETS, I have no desire to fight with you. Most of the time I'm actually on your side.
Well, not really... but most of your "enemies" here on Uber are mine, too.
I took some nasty, low blows at you and I regret that. I'm a little too good at speaking with hate.
Just drop it...
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-08-29 01:53:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
apologize if you want to, not cause you think you should.
I was gettin in your business cause I think you both are decent guys who need to chill a bit and sometimes I am somewhat good at helping people out like that.
Word!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-29 01:48:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-08-29 00:55:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
--------------
I hope people read this, because it really shows how fucking full of yourself you are. - - - Yes, yes I do hope they read this...
First of all, what the fuck is UGR? Did I miss a memo? - - - UGR was a contest a few months back that Brdn_Nkd put together. There was about 50 some users that entered. Every single round match-up was on the Most Heated list. But once again, if it wasn't one of YOUR posts, or something pertaining to YOU, you didn't bother to notice.
Second, you said: "Why didn't any of these grand authors you are shouting about enter?" - - - Um, you made it a point to mention how any number of the authors who could not participate in UM4 could out-write me.
I say: What authors did I mention? I haven't said SHIT about any authors. Know why? Cause I couldn't give a fuck less at the moment than to bicker about which authors are good and bad. I simply don't fucking care. I have bigger fish to fry. I have my own agenda, and for once in my life, it's not a selfish one. I suggest you try it sometime. - - - No ETS, your motives are purely egotistical. The sooner you realize that, the happier you'll be.
Thirdly, you're getting published. Congratulations. Guess what...everyone on ubersite is published right fucking now! Difference is, everyone here does it purely for the love of it, unlike some of the soulless assholes with a deadline, whom I guess you've now joined. - - - I see. So getting paid to create, or better yet, getting your creations to the broadest audience possible is wrong? Is this what you tell yourself to justify your own failures?
Here's the deal, man. There is WAY more to life than these bullshit - and yes they are bullshit - blue ribbons we use to prop up our little deficiencies of conscience and common sense. While the world suffocates to death, we will all be too busy patting ourselves on the fucking back to know the difference. I'm a cynical motherfucker right now because no amount of good art - be it writing, painting, making music, or sucking a good cock - is going to save us from the fate that is coming now at a galloping pace. And some of you fucking bastards would rather put your fucking heads in the sand and focus on your own goddamn 'art'. - - - - Because, once again, only YOU are aware of the true fate, the true destiny of the world. Bring your fucking apocalypse, you child, you babbling coward. I'll stand there laughing while the world burns and you hide trembling, praying to your imaginary friend in the sky.
Without a healthy world....there can be no healthy art. Without freedom...art is dead. - - - Blah, blah, propaganda, blah
You know what pisses me off... I can't write music anymore. I can't even fucking ENJOY music anymore. It's not fun. It's not important. It's all just a useless bleating of a dying animal. - - - So It's the state of the world's fault that you've lost the will to create? Bullshit, you cunt! Do you have any concept of some of the incredible works of art made during periods of strife and unease? If you were a TRUE artist, you would turn that emotional turmoil into something. Go write me a song about the body parts of babies littering the streets of Gaza or some ridiculous nonsense.
Finally, no I wasn't the one that decided to "turn a non-issue into a big deal". It was you that came out of the blue to inform us all why the great and powerful Kaos_King regrettably wouldn't be able to offer up his blessed participation in this year's UM. Whatever...go focus on your writing, dude. - - - And that's what I'm going to do, ETS. Go write me another hyped-up bunch of theories perpetrated by college students and alien abductees.
Congratulations. You sold out. - - - Yes. Futher proof I'm your better.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-08-29 01:23:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I apologise.
I was/am an asshole.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-08-29 01:18:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yo, ets?
this really has nothing to do with me, but as people are wont to do on uber, I am sticking my nose in it anyways. Sure, kaos' reply seemed that he assumed that people/person (snark specifically) would be interested in his reasons for choosing not to participate, but it really wasn't a big fucking deal.
What worries me is the fact that you seem so upset that people are "burying their heads in their art" or whatever it is that I can't be bothered to click back to see.
I think that, especially when things are difficult, music and art can sometimes be the only things that can really help someone. I know that when I am going through a tough time, especially, my music is even more important to me. As a musician (meaning you being one, not me) it worries me that you could be too upset to enjoy music. That can't be good.
And I know that kaos is getting "real" published, not "uber" published. Sorry to bring it up again kaos, but shit ets he wasn't bragging about it.
Everyone smoke a fat fucking joint wouldja?
PS and sing kumbaya please, I prefer it in "round" form...ets you start
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-08-29 01:07:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
(really)
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-08-29 00:55:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-28 23:30:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking Christ, ETS...
Listen, from what I hear the directions on the tampon box are difficult to understand, but I'm pretty sure you'll figure it out after some trial and error. Just make sure you use the right kind to accomidate your flow, as you might otherwise get something called "Toxic Shock." From what I can gather from your comments, I recommend the Super-Ultra-Mega-Deluxe.
My mistake. I thought I would explain to Snark, who has put a lot of time and effort already into this, why the (real) crazy guy wasn't planning on entering. I wanted him to understand that it wasn't a personal thing I had against him, the way the contest was being run, or the concept of UM. As someone who has written around 100 posts of (real) fiction on this site, I've been asked by multiple people if I was going to enter. I only entered UGR because Brdn_Nkd asked me to - they needed one more contestant. And yes, I won that competition, and strangely... it was open to everyone. Why didn't you enter? Why didn't any of these grand authors you are shouting about enter?
Although I would have rather Method NOT have said anything, yes, I am getting published. I didn't want to say anything about it until I could provide links to prove my claims, because we all know how this place is. No, it's not a vanity press. Not that I should have to explain myself to you... but you were the one that decided to turn a non-issue into a big deal.
--------------
I hope people read this, because it really shows how fucking full of yourself you are.
First of all, what the fuck is UGR? Did I miss a memo?
Second, you said: "Why didn't any of these grand authors you are shouting about enter?"
I say: What authors did I mention? I haven't said SHIT about any authors. Know why? Cause I couldn't give a fuck less at the moment than to bicker about which authors are good and bad. I simply don't fucking care. I have bigger fish to fry. I have my own agenda, and for once in my life, it's not a selfish one. I suggest you try it sometime.
Thirdly, you're getting published. Congratulations. Guess what...everyone on ubersite is published right fucking now! Difference is, everyone here does it purely for the love of it, unlike some of the soulless assholes with a deadline, whom I guess you've now joined.
Here's the deal, man. There is WAY more to life than these bullshit - and yes they are bullshit - blue ribbons we use to prop up our little deficiencies of conscience and common sense. While the world suffocates to death, we will all be too busy patting ourselves on the fucking back to know the difference.
I'm a cynical motherfucker right now because no amount of good art - be it writing, painting, making music, or sucking a good cock - is going to save us from the fate that is coming now at a galloping pace. And some of you fucking bastards would rather put your fucking heads in the sand and focus on your own goddamn 'art'.
Without a healthy world....there can be no healthy art. Without freedom...art is dead.
You know what pisses me off... I can't write music anymore. I can't even fucking ENJOY music anymore. It's not fun. It's not important. It's all just a useless bleating of a dying animal.
Finally, no I wasn't the one that decided to "turn a non-issue into a big deal". It was you that came out of the blue to inform us all why the great and powerful Kaos_King regrettably wouldn't be able to offer up his blessed participation in this year's UM.
Whatever...go focus on your writing, dude.
Congratulations. You sold out.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-29 00:13:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
email popopopoadodpopopoalous
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-29 00:10:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry 'bout that, Kaos
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-28 23:42:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Grats Kaos. That's great.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 23:41:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
kaos:
sweet well done chum.
i wish you nothing but success.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 23:40:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-08-28 23:17:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
I know how to solve the email problem 100%.
I will email you about it Snark. ""
yeah as long as there is some understanding the email i verified with is long dead.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-28 23:30:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking Christ, ETS...
Listen, from what I hear the directions on the tampon box are difficult to understand, but I'm pretty sure you'll figure it out after some trial and error. Just make sure you use the right kind to accomidate your flow, as you might otherwise get something called "Toxic Shock." From what I can gather from your comments, I recommend the Super-Ultra-Mega-Deluxe.
My mistake. I thought I would explain to Snark, who has put a lot of time and effort already into this, why the (real) crazy guy wasn't planning on entering. I wanted him to understand that it wasn't a personal thing I had against him, the way the contest was being run, or the concept of UM. As someone who has written around 100 posts of (real) fiction on this site, I've been asked by multiple people if I was going to enter. I only entered UGR because Brdn_Nkd asked me to - they needed one more contestant. And yes, I won that competition, and strangely... it was open to everyone. Why didn't you enter? Why didn't any of these grand authors you are shouting about enter?
Although I would have rather Method NOT have said anything, yes, I am getting published. I didn't want to say anything about it until I could provide links to prove my claims, because we all know how this place is. No, it's not a vanity press. Not that I should have to explain myself to you... but you were the one that decided to turn a non-issue into a big deal.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-28 23:19:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-08-28 23:17:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
I know how to solve the email problem 100%.
I will email you about it Snark.
================
Sweet
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-08-28 23:17:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I know how to solve the email problem 100%.
I will email you about it Snark.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-08-28 23:15:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-28 22:29:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
WHAT A FUCKING JAXKASS YOU'RE PROVING YOURSELF TO BE, ETS.
I WASN'T GOING TO ENTER, BUT THIS TURNED MY OPINION, NOT SURE WHY. I'M IN THIS MOTHERFUCKER FOR THE WIN.
-----------------
Don't know what a jaxkass is, but you go girl.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-28 23:12:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-28 23:05:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-08-28 23:03:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-28 22:22:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
I will be posting Usernames who have applied.
***
that's not smart
keep it blind thru-out the competition
just send a: "you're in" E-mail to each Successful, candidate/applicant
============
That doesn't help me ensure I'm getting emails from legitimate people but if there is an outcry about this, I'll reconsider of course. I do have other means of verification at my disposal.
___________________
Yeah, I have a better idea. Post the names of those who were accepted, and if your name ain't in the list, you ain't in, simple and non-embarrassing.
If you want to know if I submitted the entry, you have my e-mail. Just ask. . .
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-08-28 23:07:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i forgot about the ass-hole factor for a nano-second
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-28 23:05:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-08-28 23:03:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-28 22:22:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
I will be posting Usernames who have applied.
***
that's not smart
keep it blind thru-out the competition
just send a: "you're in" E-mail to each Successful, candidate/applicant
============
That doesn't help me ensure I'm getting emails from legitimate people but if there is an outcry about this, I'll reconsider of course. I do have other means of verification at my disposal.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-08-28 23:03:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-28 22:22:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
I will be posting Usernames who have applied.
***
that's not smart
keep it blind thru-out the competition
just send a: "you're in" E-mail to each Successful, candidate/applicant
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 23:01:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-28 22:56:08 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 22:48:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-28 22:22:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
I will be posting Usernames who have applied, here in the next day or two as well as a final list when voting is complete. Check back here for your name, and to make sure no one has tried to use it. ""
see i do come in useful!!
____________________________________________________
Why would you post the names of those who apply? If they don't make the cut they will
look like idiots. It's no one's business if I apply and fail to make the grade.
That is pure bullshit. If you post the names on the wall like the grades in a college test,
this whole piece of shit is seriously flawed. Respond, please. ""
don't be gay.
if you aren't even sure you will make it IN why bother?
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-28 23:01:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You could rock this thing if you put your mind to it.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-08-28 22:59:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Snark. How about I get into this mess for real this time.
Done.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-28 22:59:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bubba,
It's no different than the past tournaments. Everyone knew who who applied and who made it.
Scores will not be posted, but I need to be sure no one is sending in fake submissions.
Such passion.
Do you have a better idea?
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-08-28 22:57:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-28 22:42:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Like I don't hear that a dozen times a day.
*****
from grown-ups?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-28 22:56:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 22:48:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-28 22:22:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
I will be posting Usernames who have applied, here in the next day or two as well as a final list when voting is complete. Check back here for your name, and to make sure no one has tried to use it. ""
see i do come in useful!!
____________________________________________________
Why would you post the names of those who apply? If they don't make the cut they will
look like idiots. It's no one's business if I apply and fail to make the grade.
That is pure bullshit. If you post the names on the wall like the grades in a college test,
this whole piece of shit is seriously flawed. Respond, please.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 22:48:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-28 22:22:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
I will be posting Usernames who have applied, here in the next day or two as well as a final list when voting is complete. Check back here for your name, and to make sure no one has tried to use it. ""
see i do come in useful!!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-28 22:42:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-08-28 22:38:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:26:04 (#)
Ranking: 0
Any Bay Area uberusers want to stop by my place and help me pin the target on my back?
*******
your ass is mine, buckwheat
--
Like I don't hear that a dozen times a day.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-08-28 22:38:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:26:04 (#)
Ranking: 0
Any Bay Area uberusers want to stop by my place and help me pin the target on my back?
*******
your ass is mine, buckwheat
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-28 22:29:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-08-28 19:27:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-28 18:59:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Snark...
Listen man, I want you to know that I think what you're doing for Uber is great and all, but I just don't think I can participate in this. Everyone is taking this way too seriously, and I can't see what the benefits are. Don't get me wrong, I will actively be reading and voting in the contest, but I don't think entering would be the right choice for me.
====
As if you even had a passing chance of winning it anyway. Jesus christ dude, there are people not entering because of the forfeit ban that could nail you into the fucking ground and no-one is crying about that.
People are taking it way too seriously? Who's the self-important cunt apologising for not entering a bullshit internet contest because "it's just not the right choice" for him. As if you'd even be missed. No-one is going to beg you to enter, sweetheart, so you might as well just pack that mediocre ass of yours up and head on over to PH.
===
WHAT A FUCKING JAXKASS YOU'RE PROVING YOURSELF TO BE, ETS.
I WASN'T GOING TO ENTER, BUT THIS TURNED MY OPINION, NOT SURE WHY. I'M IN THIS MOTHERFUCKER FOR THE WIN.
TELL ME HOW MEDIOCRE I AM, BRADLEY.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-28 22:22:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I will be posting Usernames who have applied, here in the next day or two as well as a final list when voting is complete. Check back here for your name, and to make sure no one has tried to use it.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 22:02:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i got distracted reading some of my old posts.
i used to be funny you know.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-28 21:54:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fags below
get to work, Apollo, I am eagerly awaiting your email
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-08-28 21:54:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hypocrite:
|
|
|
|
|
V
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-08-28 21:53:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Instantly Cool for pointing this out for us:
|
|
|
|
|
V
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 21:42:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
gayest nerd fight ever
|
|
|
|
|
V
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-28 21:40:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So you're saying that your opinion is the only one that counts when it comes to what you have to say?
Hmmmmmm.....sounds familiar, but I just can't quite place my finger on it........
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-08-28 21:35:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-28 20:30:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry ETS, Kaos would write circles around you, no matter how many tabs of acid you took.
See, he's doing something with his life, instead of screaming about the sky falling on the internet. He's published. You know, people with ACTUAL credentials reviewed his work, proclaimed it good enough to be marketed, and published it.
What have you accomplished, Brad?
-------------------
You know what credentials are, George... "Credentials" are what happen when people lend their creedence to someone else's opinion over their their own.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-28 21:24:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:58:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
Interested people can send a sample of their work to umsubs.at.gmail.com. The same rules apply for your application submission as a contest entry except submissions are limited to written word (between 500 and 800 word limit) and it is not alright to send in an old post. Sending in new material means your submission will remain anonymous as it won't be readily recognized by the judges.
This goes for past Uberlords as well so that we can properly seed them for the first round.
-----------------------------------
Jack has to stick to an 800 word limit? This will not end well...
________
Jack can't describe a sneeze in less than 2000 words. :)
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-28 21:19:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, what DOES it have to do with Wilford Brimleys money?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-08-28 21:11:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Writing sucks but I'll enter anyway.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-08-28 21:01:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sorry, but what does that have to do with all of shloggy's money?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 20:32:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Well, he got arrested at some teenager party last week, for swearing...isn't THAT an "accomplishment"???
He wrote about it like it was.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-28 20:30:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry ETS, Kaos would write circles around you, no matter how many tabs of acid you took.
See, he's doing something with his life, instead of screaming about the sky falling on the internet. He's published. You know, people with ACTUAL credentials reviewed his work, proclaimed it good enough to be marketed, and published it.
What have you accomplished, Brad?
Submitted by calbearspolo (user info) at 2006-08-28 20:22:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am looking forward to redemption over DonkeyOnTheEdge. My entry was subpar at best last year against him, and he will fall. =)
Good luck to all.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-28 19:28:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh boy...
I can't WAIT to see how this unfolds.
*grabs popcorn*
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-08-28 19:27:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-28 18:59:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Snark...
Listen man, I want you to know that I think what you're doing for Uber is great and all, but I just don't think I can participate in this. Everyone is taking this way too seriously, and I can't see what the benefits are. Don't get me wrong, I will actively be reading and voting in the contest, but I don't think entering would be the right choice for me.
====
As if you even had a passing chance of winning it anyway. Jesus christ dude, there are people not entering because of the forfeit ban that could nail you into the fucking ground and no-one is crying about that.
People are taking it way too seriously? Who's the self-important cunt apologising for not entering a bullshit internet contest because "it's just not the right choice" for him. As if you'd even be missed. No-one is going to beg you to enter, sweetheart, so you might as well just pack that mediocre ass of yours up and head on over to PH.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 19:15:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The KING of Ubersite "jerks" is pissed because some OTHER jerk is treading on his personal space.
Shut the fuck up, ETS. For once.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-08-28 19:12:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-28 18:59:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Snark...
Listen man, I want you to know that I think what you're doing for Uber is great and all, but I just don't think I can participate in this. Everyone is taking this way too seriously, and I can't see what the benefits are. Don't get me wrong, I will actively be reading and voting in the contest, but I don't think entering would be the right choice for me. When Brdn_Nkd ran the UGR, I had a great time with it, but it was stressful for me. Maybe I took it too seriously... maybe that's why I won. Regardless, there are too many things I want to explore on my own right now in my writing. I hope you get your 64 quality contestants, and I wish UM4 nothing but the best...
----------------------
My god... What a self-important pile of horseshit.
If you're gonna be a jerk, at least have the class to KNOW you're a jerk.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-28 19:01:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-28 18:59:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Snark...
Listen man, I want you to know that I think what you're doing for Uber is great and all, but I just don't think I can participate in this. Everyone is taking this way too seriously, and I can't see what the benefits are. Don't get me wrong, I will actively be reading and voting in the contest, but I don't think entering would be the right choice for me. When Brdn_Nkd ran the UGR, I had a great time with it, but it was stressful for me. Maybe I took it too seriously... maybe that's why I won. Regardless, there are too many things I want to explore on my own right now in my writing. I hope you get your 64 quality contestants, and I wish UM4 nothing but the best...
==============
No worries Kaos, you do what's best for you of course.
Don't read to much into this.
All the big words boil down to this: Write a better story than your opponent. Do it once a week till you win.
Whatever stress you end up feeling is entirely up to you.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-28 18:59:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Snark...
Listen man, I want you to know that I think what you're doing for Uber is great and all, but I just don't think I can participate in this. Everyone is taking this way too seriously, and I can't see what the benefits are. Don't get me wrong, I will actively be reading and voting in the contest, but I don't think entering would be the right choice for me. When Brdn_Nkd ran the UGR, I had a great time with it, but it was stressful for me. Maybe I took it too seriously... maybe that's why I won. Regardless, there are too many things I want to explore on my own right now in my writing. I hope you get your 64 quality contestants, and I wish UM4 nothing but the best...
Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2006-08-28 18:37:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
WTF I'M NOT READING ALL OF THAT!
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-08-28 18:31:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Woo
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-28 18:31:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-28 18:25:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
How about both? Come on, work with me here, buddy. Do a post with all the shitty submissions emailed to you, and then do a worst of in between rounds.
==================================
Lemme work this out and get back to you.
I ate way more glue than usual today. I feel dizzy.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-28 18:25:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How about both? Come on, work with me here, buddy. Do a post with all the shitty submissions emailed to you, and then do a worst of in between rounds.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-08-28 18:24:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
/submitted
Let UbderMadness BEGIN!
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-08-28 18:08:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll take a gmail invite.
My free crappy email has been acting up.
rockfishrock.at.rock.com
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-28 18:08:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:44:01 (#)
Ranking: 0
If you're going to do this, can you PLEASE at least do a "worst of" of all the submissions you guys get?
===============
Or a "worst of" for each round?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-28 18:02:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:38:59 (#)
Ranking: -2
My submission is going to be HILARIOUS.
--
I'd advise against the old 'here are my genitals next to a ruler' ploy, but you'd ignore me anyway.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-28 18:00:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I actually checked my gmail account to see if you sent me one.
=(
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:51:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i have 99 gmail invites.
anyone?
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:49:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to create new email addresses and send in horrible entries just to make that compilation.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:48:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you do a worst of, then I shall behave myself for the rest of this competition.
Someone please get Electro on the horn!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:47:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yes!
a worst of would be awesome.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:44:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you're going to do this, can you PLEASE at least do a "worst of" of all the submissions you guys get?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:42:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
below me, Jonny
beeeelow me.
Buuuuuulow me
blow me. = )
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:42:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My only problem with ubermadnesses are the arrogantly pretentious titles.
I just think some of them are far too specific and can narrow a lot of creativity in a person.
Example: "Paid In Full" (not that electro had and creativity blocked because of this title, but you never know... I probably would have came up with something along electro's lines, although maybe a tad more grammatical.)
Tis my only tick with this, everything else looks cool. I just know that if I were to be accepted into this the first title I got would pin me to the ground and I'd end up writing something completely off-title with some lame-ass attempt to connect the two somewhere.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
My submission is going to be HILARIOUS.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:35:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to write a story about my midget lover for "Climbing the Tower." Fuck anonymity in prelims.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:21:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FUCK YOU AND YOUR REASONABLENENENSESES DAVROS.
FUCK YOU.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:20:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think the drama is uncalled for.
It looks complicated, but UM2, with it's huge field didn't really work and there were problems with Um3's entry process in the ass grabbing, people voting for "strange" entrants, alters etc.
I think 64 is a good number, and I like the annonymous (sort of) submission idea, but I would have liked a slightly longer period of preperation for this.
Not that it affects me as I won't be playing this time around.
In all seriousness, this contest has always been an evolving entity. If this doesn't work out, then it can be changed next time around.
Good luck to Snark et al and everyone who decides to enter.
-Dave
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:19:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My submission is going to be funny. Deal with it.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:16:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:05:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
Someone give me a fucking title.
--
Ten off the top of my head...
Three Drops of Blood
Falling into the Sun
The Scars Tell the Tale
Rest Stop
Climbing the Tower
111mph
Project Dominion
Under the Lake
Flesh Impact
The Sketch Pad
and a bonus
The Cemetary at the End of the Road.
kiss-kiss.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:14:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
jonny,
this is ubersite.
people are going to be dicks.
love,
enormodome.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:12:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:52:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
I demand Bart be disqualified for that blatant act of plagiarism
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:49:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
20 bucks to whoever gets me the password to umsubs.at.gmail.com
------
George....you're being a dick. (I mean, more than usual) I'm asking nicely for you to knock it off.
And don't forget everybody, there is also the Electro Award to compete for!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:09:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:02:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:33:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
what's to stop me submitting an entry and telling you I am shlongy or jack mcallum or anyone?
thought of that?
i could easily send an email from jack.mcallum.at.gmail.com
i'm just sayin.
------
Because when it's time to compete, you'll have to do so under your REAL Ubername. ""
exactly.
i wouldn't be competing i would be forfeting.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:07:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:33:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
what's to stop me submitting an entry and telling you I am shlongy or jack mcallum or anyone?
thought of that?
i could easily send an email from jack.mcallum.at.gmail.com
i'm just sayin
--
I'd have to be having one hell of a bad day for that to be believable.
*ducks head*
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:05:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Someone give me a fucking title.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:04:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:28:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submissions can be sent in MS Word, or .txt form and must be double spaced for ease of reading.
--
Fucking hell.
Oops.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:02:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:33:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
what's to stop me submitting an entry and telling you I am shlongy or jack mcallum or anyone?
thought of that?
i could easily send an email from jack.mcallum.at.gmail.com
i'm just sayin.
------
Because when it's time to compete, you'll have to do so under your REAL Ubername.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:52:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no you lose the first time by posting, i dunno, an emo poem.
second time you kick ass.
that way things are easier.
not that i'm entering this like.
but if i was that's what i'd do.
In fact i'm going to let Rizzo enter as me.
That'll fuck up your stupid exclusions. *
*this may or may not be true.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:52:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I demand Bart be disqualified for that blatant act of plagiarism
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:49:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
20 bucks to whoever gets me the password to umsubs.at.gmail.com
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:49:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:45:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
looking at it the tactics are thus:
your first post lose, dreadfully.
easy path all the way through then.
------
you aren't the only one with that idea - but what about all the others seeking to do the same?
What happens when you run up again one of them?
I'm glad to see you thinking about it though, I can hear the steam emanating from your giant cranium from here!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:48:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I want that bag of gold hanging around your neck, Razor. The real one, not the fake gold. I can smelt it and turn it into a nice big Black Jesus pendant for the homies.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:47:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha Razor.
A pixie faced lezzer thinks you're a douche.
i'm sure you'll get over it.
you've been called worse.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:46:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What I take away from all of this is that Ghola thinks I'm a douche.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:46:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh method!
you make me wet.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:45:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
looking at it the tactics are thus:
your first post lose, dreadfully.
easy path all the way through then.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:44:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, Bart will be entering.
In fact, he just did.
From: Bart Cilfone <cilfone.bart.at.gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: umsubs.at.gmail.com
Date: Aug 28, 2006 4:44 PM
Subject: My submission for UberMadness 2006 - User name Bart - Title - "Done deal"
It was Sunday, July 27th, 2008. James Dupont was found dead at the Riverside Docks. It appears he had his feet cemented then he was dumped into the water to die a watery death. But whom killed him and why?
________________________________________________
James Dupont, 34, has lived a life of crime and drug dealing, as well as being worked by the local mafia. Even though he was great at doing his job, he was failing to pay all money he made to the mafia, and he has been warned and almost caught many a times that if he was caught stealing from them, he would be sleeping with the fishies.
Today would be his last day being alive. As James worked a corner selling people the drugs they want, one of the people from the mafia spyed upon him and noticed that bits of money was being pocketed and the rest placed into an envelope. He was busted on the spot. The spy left to tell the boss what he seen and the boss didn't liked what he heard. He didn't like that he wasn't being paid in full. He didn't like people whom backstabbed him. After James worked the corner, he headed to the Riverside Warehouses to deliever the money he made, unknowning that the boss and few of is helpers awaited him.
As James approached the boss to deliver the cash, his helpers grab him by the arms. "Tsk tsk tsk" said the boss, "I have warned you plenty of times James, that if I catch you stealing from me, that you would pay the price."
"I don't know what you are talking about. The money is all there." said James.
"Oh really?...Then explain why one of my people watched you for over an hour, stealing money from me." said the boss. "James, I have caught you, and now you must sleep with the fishies. Get him out of my sight."
"Nooooooo!!! Please! Give me another chance!" screamed James as he was dragged out of the warehouse and off to the docks... James was warned that he should have paid in full, but now he has been delivered to his grave, he paid in full, with his life.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:43:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This just won't be complete until shloggy tells us how much money he has or has he done that already and I missed it?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:42:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sorry chaps - i was just thinking out loud.
is bart entering?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:40:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
apollo- send in something from Shlongy and then, put a stopwatch to how fast it gets the boot.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:40:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Did you really have to fuck it up for me, Apollo? I was going to write a masterpiece and submit it under Electro's name.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:39:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
jiggers
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:37:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Or, bad taste. That, too.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:36:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This contest is RIPE with room for discrimination, racial profiling, bad tatse and malfeasance.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:33:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what's to stop me submitting an entry and telling you I am shlongy or jack mcallum or anyone?
thought of that?
i could easily send an email from jack.mcallum.at.gmail.com
i'm just sayin.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:32:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:28:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:14:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
a bunch of homos
|
|
|
|
|
V
===============
Pot? Kettle? """
Could you stop interrupting please n00b the adults are talking.
n00bs should be seen and not heard so run along please.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:29:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
My submission will be in MSPaint and you'll read it, fucktard.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:28:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submissions can be sent in MS Word, or .txt form and must be double spaced for ease of reading.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:28:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:14:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
a bunch of homos
|
|
|
|
|
V
===============
Pot? Kettle?
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:20:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This, eh... this all seems quite complicated and somewhat ridiculous.
Whatever. If I don't enter, Ghola will ninja me into oblivion. She still seething that I beat her in UGR.
Here's a question Snark - Do you want to submission in the body of the e-mail or as an attachment? If it's an attachment, do you want it as an MS DOC or as an RTF file?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:17:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I thought Jack's "Fixodent" insult was rather weak, but it was unique. At least he tried.
And failed miserably but what the hell...
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:17:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fag two reviews below.
First and last time I do that, I swear.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:15:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
w00t the drama has begun
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:14:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
a bunch of homos
|
|
|
|
|
V
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:12:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Count me in.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:05:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Will Ubersite crumble if The BOSH Man! is crowned Uberlord?
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:05:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Everyone knows what Fixodent is.
But that's like Shlongy saying, "shut the fuck up, Jack. You sound like someone who just sat down to feed their cats and realized they've run out of Whiskas."
Hyuck, hyuck, hyuck to be sure.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:03:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:59:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
how was that funny?
|
|
|
|
|
V
-----
Do you know what Fixodent is, Method?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:59:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how was that funny?
|
|
|
|
|
V
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:58:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:40:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy, I guess you play some kind of freestyle golf with no rules, no score tabulation and no winners?
Jesus Christ, shut the fuck up already.
You sound like an old man who who sat down to eat lunch and realized he just ran out of Fixodent.
--------
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
Oh lordy ....
AHHAHAHAHHAHHA
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:58:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Are you inferring that I was AT Normandy?
BECAUSE I WAS NO WHERE NEAR THAT PLACE!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:53:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:51:46 (#)
Ranking: -2
When I was your age, I'd walk 8 miles to work, carrying a block of ice up 12 flights of stairs, just to earn $.25 so I could go buy some dope and a blow-broad.
--------
My history teacher, a veteran of Normandy, is still awaiting repayment after his uncle borrowed sixteen dollars from him seventy-five years ago.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:51:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
When I was your age, I'd walk 8 miles to work, carrying a block of ice up 12 flights of stairs, just to earn $.25 so I could go buy some dope and a blow-broad.
Jack- Mind your own goddamn business. For a supposed "adult", methinks you're into this whole UberMadness thing a wee bit too much, dontchathink, Sparky?
Get a fucking hobby that requires some physical exertion, BESIDES spanking your bird.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:48:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy, you're younger than my dad, stop pretending to be ancient.
Hell, you could be my dad. I don't know what he's doing online right now, the same person???. If so, I'm gonna need a ride to work in like 45 minutes.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:44:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:19:40 (#)
Ranking: -2
I can picture Snark, sitting in front of his computer, reading "submissions" with either a hat, a t-shirt or a badge pinned on him that says "UberMadness Committee Leader" on it.
Wear it proudly, President Dorkster.
----
His actual working title is President-For-Life Dorkster, just so you know.
Didn't I tell you to pipe down already Jeffy? I am thinking of a way to utilize your 'unique' talents for the benefit of UberMadness (aside from 3-putting on the greens)
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:40:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy, I guess you play some kind of freestyle golf with no rules, no score tabulation and no winners?
Jesus Christ, shut the fuck up already.
You sound like an old man who who sat down to eat lunch and realized he just ran out of Fixodent.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:36:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah...so? What's your point?
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:31:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:28:13 (#)
Ranking: -2
But in theory, I like Razor.
------
In theory, I loathe you because you're a dirty old man.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:28:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
But in theory, I like Razor.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:26:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:19:40 (#)
Ranking: -2
I can picture Snark, sitting in front of his computer, reading "submissions" with either a hat, a t-shirt or a badge pinned on him that says "UberMadness Committee Leader" on it.
Wear it proudly, President Dorkster.
------
oh come the fuck on shlongy. maybe you can make fun of razor for being a douche, but snark?
he seems pretty fucking normal.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:19:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I can picture Snark, sitting in front of his computer, reading "submissions" with either a hat, a t-shirt or a badge pinned on him that says "UberMadness Committee Leader" on it.
Wear it proudly, President Dorkster.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:19:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:18:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
Interested people can send a sample of their work to umsubs.at.gmail.com. The same rules apply for your application submission as a contest entry except submissions are limited to written word (between 500 and 800 word limit) and it is not alright to send in an old post. Sending in new material means your submission will remain anonymous as it won't be readily recognized by the judges.
-----------
Understood.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:18:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Interested people can send a sample of their work to umsubs.at.gmail.com. The same rules apply for your application submission as a contest entry except submissions are limited to written word (between 500 and 800 word limit) and it is not alright to send in an old post. Sending in new material means your submission will remain anonymous as it won't be readily recognized by the judges.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:17:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:16:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:14:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
So when submitting our application, do we state who we are, or is it anonymous? It's all very confusing, that bit. How will you know whose application is whose?
==========================
Story title and your username must be in the subject line of the email.
I am the only person with access to the UMSubs account. I will keep a master list of who submitted what. I will remove the names from submissions, assign them a number and send them to the judges (Committee and Razor) for evaluation of a score between 1-10.
Once I have received all judges scores, I will enter them into my magic tally sheet. The 64 users with the top rated submissions will be entered in UM IV.
=========================
All right then, I'll be submitting mine as soon as I write it. Would anything be acceptable for applications - ie fiction, flash animations, poetry, ms paints?
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:16:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:14:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
So when submitting our application, do we state who we are, or is it anonymous? It's all very confusing, that bit. How will you know whose application is whose?
==========================
Story title and your username must be in the subject line of the email.
I am the only person with access to the UMSubs account. I will keep a master list of who submitted what. I will remove the names from submissions, assign them a number and send them to the judges (Committee and Razor) for evaluation of a score between 1-10.
Once I have received all judges scores, I will enter them into my magic tally sheet. The 64 users with the top rated submissions will be entered in UM IV.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:14:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So when submitting our application, do we state who we are, or is it anonymous? It's all very confusing, that bit. How will you know whose application is whose?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 15:03:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It's only the submission process that's going to be a pain in the ass, and no matter how you slice it, people are going to bitch and moan as much as they can before the ball actually starts rolling.
Like I said, the contest is probably pretty cool, if you're into writing and all that gay stuff.
This 14 post submission process, with nine pages of rules and arbitrary judges to get INTO it is fucking brutal.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:59:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy - I think it makes perfect sense. UberMadness sets itself apart from the whole of Uber because it's a legitimate contest, and any contest you see is going to have a bunch of rules. I don't see anything that says you can only submit a serious work. You'd be surprised at how flexible these rules actually are.
It's only the submission process that's going to be a pain in the ass, and no matter how you slice it, people are going to bitch and moan as much as they can before the ball actually starts rolling.
The only thing I would bitch and complain about is the set number of contestants. While I like the idea that we're being more selective, I also never really cared how long the actual contest took. I'd be content if we allowed 512 contestants in, to tell you the truth. A year long contest would be pretty sweet in the end, now wouldn't it?
I'm cooking up a contest idea of my own once Madness is over with, and hopefully it might even go over better than UberMadness.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:56:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:38:03 (#)
Ranking: -2
I typed articulate wrong...you had a chance at a free shot.
I'm not against the contest itself- I'm sure it's a blast for the 'writers" of Ubersite -, even though I personally would never make the time committment to particpate.
I'm against, well, just look at these fucking posts.
I don't get along with "rules" or "rulemakers". Ubersite is a site without rules for the most part.
...except for this fucking contest. It doesn't make sense.
------------
It's commitment, cocknozzle.
HAR HAR TYPO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Unless of course you were setting me up for that.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:55:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If Electro submits an ANONYMOUS story and the judges approve of it, he is in.
What's all this bullshit whining about?
The way the rules are now we get rid of all the fuckers who forfeit or post utter garbage in round one after raving for weeks about how they will kick everyone's ass when they haven't got a leg to stand on. Just shut the fuck up and write already.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:54:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/66194
Here is a more clear, concise set of rules you SHOULD be working with.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:49:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:40:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:36:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
When I first took part in UMII I was a noob getting reamed by useless asswipes like you. There were 2 or 3 other new guys as well, who went very far and wrote really entertaining stuff.
------------
Yeah, but you're a boring old cat lady with a boring sense of humor and boring stories..
--
Well then all you have to do to prove this theory is go further than I do in this contest.
-----
ANTICIPATED RESPONSE:
Fuck you, you cat faggot. I don't take part in bullshit online circle jerks for losers who spend all their time here!!!!
-----
And yet you spend so much time here...
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:43:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've submitted a piece that was written a little over two months ago, but never posted here. Hopefully you got it.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:38:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I typed articulate wrong...you had a chance at a free shot.
I'm not against the contest itself- I'm sure it's a blast for the 'writers" of Ubersite -, even though I personally would never make the time committment to particpate.
I'm against, well, just look at these fucking posts.
I don't get along with "rules" or "rulemakers". Ubersite is a site without rules for the most part.
...except for this fucking contest. It doesn't make sense.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:33:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:28:42 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:11:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:06:43 (#)
Ranking: -2
Sure....NOW everyone's climbing on the Shlongy "Anti-Ubermadness" bandwagon.
Get on early, because it's going to be fucking standing room only in about three days.
Who can foregt THIS classic post from LAST summer? http://www.ubersite.com/m/65852
Well, apparently, a lot of you. BUT I WAS RIGHT!
Too many fucking rules.
-------
Shlongy, stop being such a fucking baby. Participate or don't. Why whine about what rules you don't like if you're not going to be a part of it?
Fuck off, OatMeal...Your opinion matters as much as Snark's.
You should be thrilled that someone as ariculate and educated as Shlongy is against, what amounts to be, an "elitest popularity contest" like this stupid fucking deal.
-------
*fucks off*
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:33:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:28:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:20:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
prediction:
you don't get 64 submissions.
------
i'd think there'd be far more.
so many ppl expressed interest.
=====
My prediction:
40 decent submissions & 100 piece-of-shit submissions (a comparable cross-section of what is posted here daily), of which 24 will have to be deemed the least shitty. Good luck with all that reading.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:28:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:11:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:06:43 (#)
Ranking: -2
Sure....NOW everyone's climbing on the Shlongy "Anti-Ubermadness" bandwagon.
Get on early, because it's going to be fucking standing room only in about three days.
Who can foregt THIS classic post from LAST summer? http://www.ubersite.com/m/65852
Well, apparently, a lot of you. BUT I WAS RIGHT!
Too many fucking rules.
-------
Shlongy, stop being such a fucking baby. Participate or don't. Why whine about what rules you don't like if you're not going to be a part of it?
Fuck off, OatMeal...Your opinion matters as much as Snark's.
You should be thrilled that someone as ariculate and educated as Shlongy is against, what amounts to be, an "elitest popularity contest" like this stupid fucking deal.
When UberMadness started, it was probably fun.
NOW? Look at the 4 posts just to establish who can particpate. Good fucking grief, it's gay.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:28:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:20:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
prediction:
you don't get 64 submissions.
------
i'd think there'd be far more.
so many ppl expressed interest.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:23:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:23:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:43:25 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:33:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
There are no more rules in this one than in prior ones, you whiny cunts. I think Shlongy is afraid.
Also, Rizzo and I cannot participate because we forfeitted. I was on a business conference and couldn't get computer access... I didn't own a laptop at the time.
I support a one-UM suspension for forfeits, personally... even though I think Rizzo is the most "Why isn't this guy an Uberlord yet" writer on the site. ""
I think the forfeits should only count in the real rounds not those ridiculous meaningless loser rounds where I believe rizzo and iddqd forfeited.
------
They did forfeit in the 'real' rounds.
Committee members, my email is totally fucked right now - haven't been able to see it since Friday and hopefully I will get it working today.
==================
Thanks for the info Jonny.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:18:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:01:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't write a submission without a title.
I think you should give us a title to send a submission in for... that's what the contest is going to be based on, right? """
okay your title is:
I am a big gay mexican pool cleaning giraffe and I worship apollo.
That should keep you busy you cunt faced parrot.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:11:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:06:43 (#)
Ranking: -2
Sure....NOW everyone's climbing on the Shlongy "Anti-Ubermadness" bandwagon.
Get on early, because it's going to be fucking standing room only in about three days.
Who can foregt THIS classic post from LAST summer? http://www.ubersite.com/m/65852
Well, apparently, a lot of you. BUT I WAS RIGHT!
Too many fucking rules.
-------
Shlongy, stop being such a fucking baby. Participate or don't. Why whine about what rules you don't like if you're not going to be a part of it?
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:09:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just let the previous Sweet 16 in for fuck's sake. Every OTHER UM they got in. Why not now? It will fill some of the spots that won't be filled by people too lazy to send in submissions.
I have to go buy my dad a birthday gift and then write a submission about it.
I will be sending it soon.
Screw you all.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:09:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Quote from last year:
"Oh yeah, my point is that I feel like I contribute just as much to this shithouse website as the writers who have had previous success in UberMadness, but the new rules to be eligible to enter seem to be contrived with the expressed, written purpose of excluding me - and other talented writers like your frap's, your WTH's , your Habeebs, your CabaretGirls, your Australians, your mystiamoon's, etc...
Does this seem fair to you? is it really a true UberMadness if say, Electro isn't asked to participate? "
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:06:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sure....NOW everyone's climbing on the Shlongy "Anti-Ubermadness" bandwagon.
Get on early, because it's going to be fucking standing room only in about three days.
Who can foregt THIS classic post from LAST summer? http://www.ubersite.com/m/65852
Well, apparently, a lot of you. BUT I WAS RIGHT!
Too many fucking rules.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:02:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I totally appreciate the need for order here, and to ensure a level playing field, and to guarantee quality submissions, and to eliminate altery bullshittery and all that.
However, given this list of specifics, can it really be called UberMADNESS anymore? There's no madness.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:01:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't write a submission without a title.
I think you should give us a title to send a submission in for... that's what the contest is going to be based on, right?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 14:00:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ubersite lost it's sense of humour about a year ago method.
wake up and smell the boring.
should i tell you how shit it is now?
it is so shit that Electro doesn't even post anymore.
it is so shit that ETS is the most controversial.
it is so shit that Bart, the owner thinks it is shit.
It is so shit that well... fuck it... why am I here?
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:58:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
snarkk.at.gmail.com
2 K's
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:57:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm a dumb dumbass. Nevermind.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:56:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I believe his email is suckallthefuckingfunoutofubermadness.at.gmail.com
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:56:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Snark, is your e-mail crazy? I tried Snark.at.gmail.com but it bounced back.
Gimme the real one playa. I needz to talk.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:55:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OH, WE'LL JUST SEE ABOUT THAT, BUDDY
YOU SEEM TO FORGET THAT "GANGING UP ON BABIES IS WHAT WE DO BEST"
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:55:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm boycotting this bullshit. I suggest you all do the same. I will not be reading nor voting on any entries, let alone participate. I'm sure this will be the very last time they put forth these snobby, assfucked rules once they realize how lame it is.
"Hey, where are all those crickets coming from?"
"Oh, it's just Ubermadness. Right."
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:53:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
For as much noise as people like method make, my experience has been that the majority of Ubersite, which is not nearly as loud and noxious, prefers Jack to Electro.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:52:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't post what you submitted until after the judges have released the seedings please.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:50:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
3 billion people watched the world cup finals?
I don't think so.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:50:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So can we post whatever we send you after it's been read and judged?
I'm not about to write something for laughs on my own time. That would be something Christ would do.
Again, not that anyone's NOT going to know it's me.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:49:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Guaranteeing Electro and other retards of life don't make it into this just shows how fucking boring it's going to be.
We live to berate people on ubersite. By screening all the contestants and narrowing them down, you're sucking all the fun out of this. It's like watching American Idol about 10 shows in. Fuck that.
This contest officially belongs on pulsehead now.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:48:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have no idea what I think of this.
You may or may not be getting a submission from me.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:47:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
they won't get 64.
guaranteed.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:46:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What happens in the event that you don't get 64 entries by next week?
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:40:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:36:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
When I first took part in UMII I was a noob getting reamed by useless asswipes like you. There were 2 or 3 other new guys as well, who went very far and wrote really entertaining stuff.
------------
Yeah, but you're a boring old cat lady with a boring sense of humor and boring stories, so I wouldn't care what you thought, even if I could understand what you were trying to say here.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:38:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:30:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't let the name fool you, Razor made it clear last year that this is his baby. Every other user has the option to start their own competition if they want, they'd just have to do so without getting bart to specifically set it up for them.
--------------
Ok, if it's Razor's baby, then Razor's baby is turning into a piece of shit. I don't care who owns Ubermadness, I'm just saying these rules are lame.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:36:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:26:13 (#)
Ranking: -2
There is a direct correlation between the exclusivity and the boringness of Ubersite.
--
Bullshit.
When I first took part in UMII I was a noob getting reamed by useless asswipes like you. There were 2 or 3 other new guys as well, who went very far and wrote really entertaining stuff.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:30:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:26:13 (#)
Ranking: -2
Totally gay. This is going to be the worst Ubermadness ever. Electro isn't going to make the cut, and what is this bullshit about written word "applications"? The good part about Ubermadness was finding a hilarious submission by Electro or Fat Tony among the sea of identical, schmaltzy crap that everyone else posts.
Just let 128 people or more sign up for this thing and let it take a little longer. Trying to narrow it down to 64 people who are gonna write the same boring fiction is stupid, especially when these applications are getting judged by thick-skulled idiots who wouldn't know good entertainment if it fisted them up the asshole. I really don't see any harm in making this an open competition. Make the seeding random and let everyone play.
There is a direct correlation between the exclusivity and the boringness of Ubersite.
-------------------------------------------------
Don't let the name fool you, Razor made it clear last year that this is his baby. Every other user has the option to start their own competition if they want, they'd just have to do so without getting bart to specifically set it up for them.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:29:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wiggles is right for the first time in his overweight, virginal existance.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:26:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Totally gay. This is going to be the worst Ubermadness ever. Electro isn't going to make the cut, and what is this bullshit about written word "applications"? The good part about Ubermadness was finding a hilarious submission by Electro or Fat Tony among the sea of identical, schmaltzy crap that everyone else posts.
Just let 128 people or more sign up for this thing and let it take a little longer. Trying to narrow it down to 64 people who are gonna write the same boring fiction is stupid, especially when these applications are getting judged by thick-skulled idiots who wouldn't know good entertainment if it fisted them up the asshole. I really don't see any harm in making this an open competition. Make the seeding random and let everyone play.
There is a direct correlation between the exclusivity and the boringness of Ubersite.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:23:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:43:25 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:33:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
There are no more rules in this one than in prior ones, you whiny cunts. I think Shlongy is afraid.
Also, Rizzo and I cannot participate because we forfeitted. I was on a business conference and couldn't get computer access... I didn't own a laptop at the time.
I support a one-UM suspension for forfeits, personally... even though I think Rizzo is the most "Why isn't this guy an Uberlord yet" writer on the site. ""
I think the forfeits should only count in the real rounds not those ridiculous meaningless loser rounds where I believe rizzo and iddqd forfeited.
------
They did forfeit in the 'real' rounds.
Committee members, my email is totally fucked right now - haven't been able to see it since Friday and hopefully I will get it working today.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:22:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where's MickGinny at when you need him?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:22:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
my, my spooner that is hi-larious.
ever left the US?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:14:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF I'm not reading all that.
Good luck. You're going to need it.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:13:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Also, it helps to not have many rules when half your fans are illiterate. Bring in football and what's this? We have to READ rules? We have to MEMORIZE plays? Sorry, but I didn't bomb our elementary school in our ongoing civil war so I would have to play a sport that requires so much goddamn thinking. Where are those plastic bags I tied together into a lump? I think I'll kick them for awhile.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:07:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:39:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
pah!
YOUR STUPID SPORTS ARE STUPID.
Real Football has 11 rules. A cumulative audience of 6 billion watched the World Cup with 3 billion watching the final.
NFL has approx 3.6 million rules and about 56 people watch the superbowl.
I think that is pretty conclusive.
---
I'd watch the World Cup too if my country were too poor to afford water. What else would I have to do? Count my cattle? Drink some beer? The reason soccer is so popular is because you can play it even when your poor. The rotting head of your family's former prized goat is suddenly a footy ball, and the bombed out walls of a hospital become a goal, and hey, you're all set to play. But American Football you needs pads and shit. You can't play without them. You know what would happen if Brian Urlacher really layed into a small Taiwanese child? That's why you gotta get little Sun Yi a helmet.
All I'm saying is that American Football is the sport of world superpowers, of which we're still the only remaining. Football might be the most prevalent sport in the world, but then again, you know what else is real popular in the same countries as soccer? Not having running water. Enjoy your chants.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:06:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"It can be summed up by: "Don't be an asshole, asshole."
Well, looks like I'm out.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-08-28 13:06:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*throws head back and howls*
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:58:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Interested people can send a sample of their work to umsubs.at.gmail.com. The same rules apply for your application submission as a contest entry except submissions are limited to written word (between 500 and 800 word limit) and it is not alright to send in an old post. Sending in new material means your submission will remain anonymous as it won't be readily recognized by the judges.
This goes for past Uberlords as well so that we can properly seed them for the first round.
-----------------------------------
Jack has to stick to an 800 word limit? This will not end well...
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:55:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Give thorpe his recognition, he pulled the "double post" entry.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:52:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree with the big headed one, forfeiting in the loser bracket and/or with a good reason should not be an automatic red card.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:44:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
XIX. Wait a minute. What about the Sweet 16?
The Sweet 16 will still exist. If you're one of the last 16 competitors, congrats, you made it.
Due to the limited number of spots in this years tournament, the Sweet 16 from last year will not receive auto invites this year.
The only auto invites go to past Uberlords. (Hey it's gotta be worth something) Two of the three Uberlords are not available to compete which leaves Jack McCallum. Congratulations Jack.
--------------------
You know...I don't think I should have to vie for a spot in this. I thought I had earned that right by my past performance in this competition.
I'll tell you what though, I won't compete in another one. Fuck it.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:43:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:33:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
There are no more rules in this one than in prior ones, you whiny cunts. I think Shlongy is afraid.
Also, Rizzo and I cannot participate because we forfeitted. I was on a business conference and couldn't get computer access... I didn't own a laptop at the time.
I support a one-UM suspension for forfeits, personally... even though I think Rizzo is the most "Why isn't this guy an Uberlord yet" writer on the site. ""
I think the forfeits should only count in the real rounds not those ridiculous meaningless loser rounds where I believe rizzo and iddqd forfeited.
but the rules are rules and people either want in or they don't.
i'm glad there isn't endless discussion this time.
but c1ndy? seriously? FA thinks I am a cunt but at least her opinion is worth something.
Jeez.
I'll shut my fat mouth now.
Toodles.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:41:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sending in new material means your submission will remain anonymous as it won't be readily recognized by the judges.
---
Riiiiiiight.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:39:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
pah!
YOUR STUPID SPORTS ARE STUPID.
Real Football has 11 rules. A cumulative audience of 6 billion watched the World Cup with 3 billion watching the final.
NFL has approx 3.6 million rules and about 56 people watch the superbowl.
I think that is pretty conclusive.
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:37:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Congrats Jack.
But I believe you still have to submit a story for the judges, so you can get seeded. No?
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:34:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If we let Europeans come up with the rules, all the contests would end up in a tie resolved via spelling bee.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:33:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There are no more rules in this one than in prior ones, you whiny cunts. I think Shlongy is afraid.
Also, Rizzo and I cannot participate because we forfeitted. I was on a business conference and couldn't get computer access... I didn't own a laptop at the time.
I support a one-UM suspension for forfeits, personally... even though I think Rizzo is the most "Why isn't this guy an Uberlord yet" writer on the site.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:23:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:55:04 (#)
Ranking: -2
The fucking NFL has less rules than this moronic dustup.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:54:24 (#)
Ranking: -2
Too many fucking rules...Good God, there's no way an avowed anarchist like Shlongy could even participate, unless it was to conduct some type of "Columbine-like act" on the festivities.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:21:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
only americans could come up with rules like this.
it's the number one reason no-one outside of the US is interested in your sports.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:21:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:14:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
ubermadness without razor and rizzo (antluvdog) is meaningless.
--
I'm shocked by this as well.
Where is ThecAes?
I'm sure lots of people would want to see ThEcaes take part.
ThecaEs always cranks out good tales.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:20:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
prediction:
you don't get 64 submissions.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:20:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
crap crap crap
it's gonna be a busy week
good job on this though guys; a disgusting amount of work to put it all together!
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:19:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
c1ndy is a judge?
Ugh.
Cancel out a humor post for submission.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:14:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ubermadness without razor and rizzo (antluvdog) is meaningless.
they are two of thebig hitters here and rizzo ALWAYS submits quality stuff.
and i'm not being funny but c1ndy judging ME?
i don't think so.
Submitted by Cracked_out_cali (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:04:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Unfortunately, all of my successful posts have been either true stories, or involved mass amounts of nudity. I'm shit when it comes to fiction or creativity, so I'll stay out of this. Good luck to everyone else though.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-08-28 12:04:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The scene has been set.
Let war commence.
And they thought Israel had problems!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:57:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
But I wanna submit a submission for consideration. Since there's no way in Holy fuck that I'm reading all that, someone just tell me when to post my submission and how to post it, if it's supposed to be anonymous or not.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:55:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The fucking NFL has less rules than this moronic dustup.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:54:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
e-mail to umsubs.at.gmail.com sent.
Yay!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:54:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Too many fucking rules...Good God, there's no way an avowed anarchist like Shlongy could even participate, unless it was to conduct some type of "Columbine-like act" on the festivities.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:42:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to play.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:38:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I still want to play.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:36:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:33:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks to the committee for this. Awesome.
"People can now be disqualified for breaking the spirit of Ubermadness fairness. The Spirit of Ubermadness Fairness is defined in the following way: The winner and loser on any post on Ubermadness should be based upon an anonymous vote based upon the better entry, with no tricks."
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:28:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FYI the attachment contains the official fully explained tournament structure including exactly how matchups are determined, but don't blame me if you don't understand it.
Just putting that out there in case you thought it was exactly the same as what was posted in the... err... post.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:27:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submission entries blow, but I'll write one anyway.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:26:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm the only player in the whole fucking tournament with an auto-invite?
Any Bay Area uberusers want to stop by my place and help me pin the target on my back?
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:25:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wtf I'm not reading all that
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:21:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Round 1 starts Sept 11th?
Two days before I leave on a week's vacation to the wild, frozen wastes of Canada?
You bastards are conspiring against me.
I have a cold.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:20:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"The details are complicated, but it won't be so bad once it all goes down.. it's all explained in advance in the full version, which is attached to this post in word document form."
This is the short version???
Jebus
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:17:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
</drama>
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:17:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
top 16 from last year and MVA should have automatic invites.
and it should be 256 entries in the tournament.
and it should take at least a year to get though the tourney.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:14:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
oh bullshit
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:13:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yay
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:13:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Unless Bart vetoes this, Madness will start Friday September 11th
?????
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:11:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
holy fuck. did teeph write this?
so legal... brain hurt...
i'll come back later to find out how i apply to enter. if it's just going ME ME ME then take that as my bid for entry.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:07:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I will be participating. Expect my masterpiece in a day or two.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:05:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bah, bah; i explained why i had to forfeit at least a bajillion times.
NOBODY LISTENS!
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:04:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't trust you or your jewbag panel of judges
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:03:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF IS THIS ALL ABOUT!!!