Why women take so damn long in the bathroom (664 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: -1.25 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Uberjunkie (View user info) at 2006-08-28 17:57:19 EDT
Women:
Enter stall and make sure it latches.
Check for toilet paper.
Examine seat and wipe any urine splashes off with said toilet paper.
Discover that not all women shave/wax their pubes and tend to drop them on the rim.
Take a few seconds to ponder gross pubes and decide if this stall is okay to use.
Struggle to get toilet seat cover out of dispenser without tearing it.
Toss torn toilet seat cover in bowl and try again.
Squat over bowl and pee.
Wipe.
Flush using only your foot.
Exit stall and proceed to sink.
Wash hands with soap and water.
Dry hands with paper towel.
Examine self in mirror and adjust clothing/hair.
Check for things in teeth.
Leave restroom.
Men:
Walk to closest urinal.
Whip it out and pee.
Shake and close up shop.
Walk past sink and out the door.
User Reviews
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2006-08-29 10:00:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I figured it was because they're always taking massive dumps.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-08-29 09:56:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was...wait for it...SHIT...geddit? ..because the..y'know...
Whatever bitches, it was better than the post.
Coley, here is a name-drop for your return
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-08-29 09:50:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, come on.
I had to +2 this to bring it back.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2006-08-29 09:50:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sell your organs on eBay.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-08-29 09:48:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I would love to shit on your face, then finger paint your mouth with it.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2006-08-29 09:47:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
uberjunkie doesn't appear to be well-liked on this website.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-29 09:44:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow.
Uberjunkie, here's the thing:
Your effort at making us laugh is directly proportional to how many -2's you get.
Now -2DIE and shut your n00b cockslot.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-08-29 09:44:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i piss, wipe, wash my hands.
it takes me two minutes on the LONG side. you just suck at life.
Submitted by SilentRenegade (user info) at 2006-08-29 09:38:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
funny.....very true....but pathetic.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-08-29 09:37:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this is crap
you have to know that
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-08-29 09:21:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-08-28 18:19:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-28 18:17:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:59:16 (#)
Ranking: -2
oh come on now, post something that isn't a forwarded email joke from 10 years ago.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-28 18:14:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Y HALO THAR GERIATRIC BUTTSECKS?
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2006-08-28 18:09:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i think ill +2 everything
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-08-28 18:05:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
horrible
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-28 18:03:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
boooooooo
hisssssss
Submitted by ArcEld (user info) at 2006-08-28 18:03:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:59:18 (#)
Ranking: -2
Groundbreaking, original, AND funny.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-28 18:03:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-12-11 23:26:52 (#)
Ranking: -2
I planted my arrow in her bow
And pulled her pubic strings,
I helped her tailor a leather cockvest
And countless other things,
She, my tailor, she, my bow,
Split my heart with her decision,
And now, here I sit, posting pics of her clit
On the web with my hateful derision.
Fie! Fie! Wretched creator of my cummuffin!
Try showing your face in Borders now that I've shown your furburger to the masses!
Perhaps you'll find another he
Who shoots the loaded jack like me.
Or maybe you'll just turn lez to avoid the awkward moments
Where you meet someone in a bar
And they've seen your labia in their poorly-lit, amateur glory;
Perchance you'll turn to autoerotica
And tango your diddlenub with fingers of your own
Day out and day in,
Days of anal, days of quim.
Or maybe, just maybe,
You'll die succumbing to the strain and exposure inherent to an individual attempting to break the "Most Sexual Partners" record for the Guinness crowd,
Splayed out, reclined, legs in stirrups,
A beef train of pantless men straining to keep their erections while waiting for an opportunity to dip their wicks in you,
Heartdead and shuteye, passive against their thrusting,
Man-seed and the salve of their spittle-lube running down your thighs,
Pooling around your flattened buttocks and dripping from the stirrups,
Spermatazoa wriggling like newborn maggots in the pores of your skin.
And maybe a drop of janx will slide into your untouched anus,
Mingling with the parasites and shit-lining of your colon,
Finding sanctuary in a molecule of your feces,
And going for the gold with a whip of the flagella and a whiff of ozone:
This pairing, then, would birth a child,
Whorestocked and poo-fathered,
It would amount to nothing in its short, despicable life.
And yet,
Even the most potent spitup born from this brown baby's malformed mouth,
Even the yellow mucous found in the recesses of its sinuses,
Would be worth more to the world than this post,
This shitty, shitty bo-bitty post.
Thanks for playing.
Die.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:59:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Groundbreaking, original, AND funny.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2006-08-28 17:59:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
oh come on now, post something that isn't a forwarded email joke from 10 years ago.