As I Lay Dying: Unto Dust (1) (1304 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: AILD
Rating: 1.83 on 61 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Axolotl .58 (View user info) at 2006-08-29 14:03:17 EDT
This story is true, an account of the discrete nature of the universes that exist just millimeters away from your fingers.
To see the story as true, there are four tenets of advanced quantum metaphysics you must accept unquestioningly:
-Your consciousness affects the behaviour of subatomic particles
-Particles move backwards as well as forwards in time and appear in all possible places at once
-The universe is splitting, every Planck-time (10 E-43 seconds) into billions of parallel universes
-The universe is interconnected with faster-than-light transfers of information
This story takes place in a world very similar to our own, but different. The geography is the same, the people are the same, but there are differences...the Vatican and the Magesterium of the Church control daily life far more than in our world, and European colonies dominate the American continent. Their universe is far removed from ours politically...
Read on if you want to discover the truth...
AS I LAY DYING
c2006 Axolotl
There was a small red brick house under the eve of a hill in the dark countryside, a house propped up against the grassy ridge before the forest, and in front of a dirt path, picketed with stick fences. The path led southwest a short distance to a rural church, made of wood and stone, outside the village of Corbury.
Father William Mackenzie stood outside the house, looking up at the stars through the leaves of the trees swinging in the wind above him. His heart beat fast and furiously, knowing that any second his life could be taken from him.
"Christ before me, Christ behind me," Father William said, dashing off toward the path to Corbury and Hampshire, a revolver clasped in his hands. "Christ to my right, and to my left, in every ear that hears me, in every eye that sees me."
A wolf howled in the distance, shrieking its baleful cry. The branches and leaves rustled in the woods to the right of William. Footsteps came running behind him.
"Christ be my armor."
An arrow hurtled through the air over William's shoulder, and he threw himself to the ground, drawing his pistol and firing. Hands overtook him, beating him, tearing away his gun, and smothering him under their strength. It was all over.
"He hit me," a rough voice said, clutching his chest. "Kill him at once, and search him. Traitor to the Authority, you betrayed us all. By their fruits shall ye know them, and by their tempts shall ye—!"
"Don't, please, it's not me," Father Mackenzie said, looking up at the men around him. Four soldiers of the Vatican's Inquisitorial Court of Discipline were holding him down, with their leader on the ground, a bullet in his chest.
"Lieutenant, shall I call for a doctor?" asked one of the soldiers. He had a slight Roman accent to his English.
"No, leave me, I shall have the Martyr's Palm!" the captain of the soldiers said, his face growing pale. "Kill the traitor, and search his body."
Mackenzie cried out as two sword blades pierced through his body, finding his frail heart. The soldiers released him, and his body fell into the ditch on the side of the road. They tore off his clothes, searching wildly for their prize.
"Check the woods, he might have thrown it in before we caught him," the Lieutenant said, choking on his blood. "Into your hands I commit my spirit, Lord take me!"
The Lieutenant leaned back, coughing and choking as his lungs filled with blood, clutching the bullet wound in his chest. Three soldiers began looking everywhere, while the other stayed to comfort his captain. The Lieutenant twitched a leg, and expired, his face filled with the same ecstatic radiance that the soldiers saw in the paintings of martyrs at the Inquisitorial Courts.
"We might have taken him before the Courts and had him tortured for information," said one soldier. "I don't think he has it here."
The soldier guarding the Lieutenant's body sighed, and said, "Rome won't be happy if we don't find this."
"Do we have any Authoritative Powers in the area?"
"We have three bene elim in the Southampton area," the soldier replied. "It's under control, we can go."
The soldiers departed, leaving the naked body of Father Mackenzie on the road.
* * *
"Adam, wake up," said a soothing female voice. "It's ten o'clock."
Adam Waters sat up in bed, finding his mother hovering over him in the doorway to the cramped bedroom in their house in Corbury. "Hold on, I'm getting up."
"It's not a school day, don't hurry too much," his mother said, leaving the doorway.
She was a woman in her forties with dark hair, how old Adam never knew. His father had been killed in action serving in Her Majesty's Royal Marines during the Great Baltic War, and he had only vague, hazy memories of him.
Adam stood up and passed the mirror on the way to the bathroom; he was seventeen, with dark hair and a weak chest, and clear, ephemeral blue eyes. Within a few minutes, Adam had exited the shower and made his way downstairs to the living room of his tiny house.
"Good morning, sunshine," his mother said, sorting through the post. "You got a letter from Father Mac, it's right here. No stamp, he must have delivered it straight to the door."
Adam's heart rose; Father Mackenzie had tutored him for the last few months, and his wisdom was immense, especially for a priest so young. Adam took the letter and the London Times and sat down on one of the chairs in the dimly-lit dining room, reading the letter. As he got further and further into the letter, his blood felt icy in his veins.
Adam Waters, 26 Barnes Close, Corbury, April 20, 2006, Year of the Lord
Dear Adam,
By the time you receive this letter, I may be dead, and slandered as a traitor. I beg you, do not believe what people say when I am gone, that I am a traitor to the Church, and a renegade Satanist of the Magesterium; the papers and radio will do that enough. Believe me, I tried to protect you from the dangers of the Church, the torments of the Inquisitorial Council.
Adam, your life is hanging by a thread. Go to my house, there is a grave out back for Occam, my dog. Open the grave up, and inside the coffin is a note with further instructions, and a treasure that the Authorities are frantically looking for.
Adam, don't let the Authority take you. They will torture you in front of a Consistory, until you beg for death. Tonight I will run out to the countryside to lure them from my house and misdirect them; possibly I will die. But I die knowing that hopefully, one day, you will know how important you are to some people, to some ideas. I have been training you for long to one day take up the fight which I have fought.
Go now, Adam, and be safe. The Authority may well be on the lookout for you already. Trust no one from the Vatican.
With greatest urgency,
Father Mackenzie
Adam closed up the letter and stared off into space, his heart racing...
"Oh, good lord, Adam," his mother said with a slight gasp, looking at the paper. "Father Mackenzie...I'm so sorry...he was killed last night on the road from Liverpool. Bandits, they say."
Father Mackenzie had given his life for Adam. Adam tried to get his head around this, but just felt like vomiting. He stood up, and announced shakily, "I'm going to take a walk."
"I'm sorry, I know you liked him, Adam," his mother said. "A walk would be good for your mind."
Adam opened the door and walked out, the letter jammed in his pocket. The priest's house was just a little up the road, and he started out walking paranoid at every turn.
The soldiers of the Vatican Council were present in nearly every country in the West, along with each country's branches of the Magesterium, the Consistorial College of Cardinals, and most infamously the Inquisitorial Court of Discipline. Pope Urban X, otherwise known as John Riccardi, essentially ruled Europe and the Americas with a rod of iron. It was rumored the Vatican had the largest army in the world, and best-equipped, with rifles, fire-throwers and even flying-machines.
It was under a ten-minute walk to the little red-bricked house, now deserted. Further down the road police, soldiers, and Royal investigators were gathered around the crime scene, and it burned Adam inside to know that William Mackenzie was gone forever.
Adam climbed around the back, seizing the shovel from the side of the house. He knew this house well, he spent more time here than at home on some days. Adam found the graves of all the dogs, and selected Occam's tomb.
"What am I doing?" Adam thought for a moment, doubt shading his mind. He was going to dig up a grave...because of a note. Confidence regaining slowly, Adam dug the tip of the shovel into the shallow grave and tore up the dirt. It was only two feet deep before the shovel touched coffin.
Adam reached down and looking away in disgust, opened the coffin. Strangely, the casket was empty except for a note, and a paper package; there never was an Occam.
Adam took the note and read it:
If you are reading this, then I am dead, and you may be the new hope of this universe and all of them. I don't know, I am not sure myself. Take the sword, the magen emet, and go to 91 Sturrock Drive, Wapping, London. There you will find someone who can teach you far better than I can about the truths of the universe. Thank you, and may luck be with you,
-William Mackenzie
Adam opened the package and pulled out a short sword, perhaps half a meter long, with a leather hilt and a shimmering, unearthly blade. Other universes...? The magen emet, the protector of truth...Adam shook his head and stood up, trying to figure out exactly what everything meant.
The priest gave his life so that I could go to London, Adam thought, it was something he had to do. There was a sheath included in the package, and Adam carefully reinserted the sword into it.
Adam shoved the sword into his rucksack and thanked his stars that he had brought money with him. Clumsily shoveling dirt back into the grave, Adam bid farewell to the dead priest's house, and walked on down the path, away from Corbury and the soldiers, and toward London.
To be continued...
User Reviews
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-12-18 12:48:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-25 13:41:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-10-16 20:47:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
here, you can borrow these: © ®
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-16 19:54:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-10-16 18:45:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
you're good.
i'm all over this. i hope it turns out to be a science/religion story. i like those.
----
In that case, you're going to like it.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-10-16 18:45:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you're good.
i'm all over this. i hope it turns out to be a science/religion story. i like those.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-09-13 12:22:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-09-02 16:11:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-02 13:46:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sounds cool so far. Haven't read the whole thing yet. I'll do it when I get home.
Good Axolotl stuff as usual.
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Yep. It's weird, this has like 55 reviews and the next one has 8.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-02 13:46:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sounds cool so far. Haven't read the whole thing yet. I'll do it when I get home.
Good Axolotl stuff as usual.
Submitted by DuiTicket (user info) at 2006-09-01 23:23:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this is good....
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-09-01 22:46:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-08-31 00:43:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
As I read back on my comments, I realize I was way more critical and accusatory than I intended. Damn, how big of a wasp stung me the other day?
Anyway, I realize there's not much new under the sun. And to yours & Jack's point, I realize that it's just to have fun and whatnot.
*olive branch*
------------
That's all right, no problem gank.
I'm keeping the two main characters a man and a woman (not Lyra and Will) though.
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-08-31 00:43:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As I read back on my comments, I realize I was way more critical and accusatory than I intended. Damn, how big of a wasp stung me the other day?
Anyway, I realize there's not much new under the sun. And to yours & Jack's point, I realize that it's just to have fun and whatnot.
*olive branch*
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-30 19:06:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-08-30 03:36:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
Although, you are the one person who can stomach the tedious attention to detail that it took to compile Uber-history and Uber's "Greatest Posts". So I shouldn't be too surprised with your willingness to go "full steam ahead" on a wholly unoriginal idea.
I'm guessing apologies would be unwelcome at this moment, as I really hold no ill will towards you. But man, I just can't see passed the mirroring.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-08-30 03:28:56 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-29 23:05:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
I've read HDM. The knife has very little significance in the story. Your accusations are unfounded.
______________
I know you have. ( http://www.ubersite.com/m/89372#2027724 )
Hence, my accusation.
Do you deny the similarities so far? I shall wait to see in the next installments.
Sadly, I've started to grow weary of the pattern of MIMICRY in your series posts. Don't get me wrong, it's not your actual writing that annoys me (that is usually pretty good), it's your lack of originality (with ideas) combined with your maximum effort. I just start thinking as I'm reading, "Fuck this, I'll just read/watch the originals."
1) The Pearl Jam series
2) ATP inspired by the ATP from thecaes and Jack_McCallum (who was inspired by 'I am Legend,' by Richard Matheson)
3) The Malleys inspired by The Sopranos.
4) Battle d'Uber inspired by Battle Royale.
5) This series, inspired by HDM (maybe too soon to tell)?
I'm sure there are other examples...
=======
I have a VERY tedious attention to detail if you knew me, in a perfectionist way, but good. I'm certainly not aiming to publish any of the things I write on Uber, my only goal is to entertain people, which I think I've mostly accomplished in this story so far.
I can see some similarities, and I can see why you'd think that. Believe me, this will not be another HDM. With the series posts, read:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/72741 Exodus Chronicles
http://www.ubersite.com/m/79582 Moments in the Revolution
http://www.ubersite.com/m/77697 Michael Higgins
http://www.ubersite.com/m/76051 Strangers in the Room
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68430 The Kicker
I'd have to disagree with Pearl Jam, Battle d'Uber, and AT:'s classification, as the formers were designed to be what they were, and the latter series is wildly different in all accounts (thecaes, jack mccallum)...but you do have a point with the Malleys. Still continuing it though.
Like I said, I don't write these "seriously" so to speak, I write to entertain people on Uber. Maybe it's a subconscious thing, but this shares only very basic tenets with HDM.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-30 18:59:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2006-08-30 16:05:38 (#)
Ranking: 1
I really didn't find the writing style too compelling. Nice idea, though, whether or not it was fully original.
I'll keep reading it.
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Thanks, Ripple.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-30 18:59:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2006-08-30 07:11:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is good - HDM.
But the knife was very significant in HDM, will your sword be the world opener as well?
-------
The knife in this story has very little significance. You can't open a world, you can only make your particles transfer and become one with the universe.
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2006-08-30 16:05:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I really didn't find the writing style too compelling. Nice idea, though, whether or not it was fully original.
I'll keep reading it.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-30 12:22:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-08-30 03:28:56 (#)
Ranking: 1
2) ATP inspired by the ATP from thecaes and Jack_McCallum (who was inspired by 'I am Legend,' by Richard Matheson)
--
In my defense...
From the FIRST Pandemic tale to hit Ubersite (http://www.ubersite.com/m/61238#1187878)
"...I not only acknowledge Matheson, but recommend his book.
This idea has been used by damn near every horror writer in America (Matheson, Brian Stableford in 'Empire of Fear,' all the contributors to The Horror Writers of America in the shorts collection 'Under the Fang,' and many others).
I DID say it's not entirely original.
It is a framework, in which some of use can mess around and contribute."
--
Ax, the writing is good, as usual, but I just can't get into it... maybe the next one will hook me. Since you are a good storyteller who actually works at spinning a fun tale, I'll be honest with this rarting and criticism. I've farted around with lots of alternate timeline stuff and there is always that test of drawing someone in to a whole new world while creating a compelling opening scenario or character with which the reader can sympathize. The hook is the character/introductory scenario. If you can grab a reader RIGHT there, then you can take your time explaining your world. Otherwise people will be frustrated or confused or God forbid, bored.
I don't see how this can be compared to ATP, btw.
I'm looking forward to the next installment.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2006-08-30 07:11:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is good - HDM.
But the knife was very significant in HDM, will your sword be the world opener as well?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-08-30 06:40:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're really good at this story telling malarkey.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-30 06:04:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You brilliant little bastard... I'll be reading this series.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-08-30 04:05:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-08-30 03:36:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Although, you are the one person who can stomach the tedious attention to detail that it took to compile Uber-history and Uber's "Greatest Posts". So I shouldn't be too surprised with your willingness to go "full steam ahead" on a wholly unoriginal idea.
I'm guessing apologies would be unwelcome at this moment, as I really hold no ill will towards you. But man, I just can't see passed the mirroring.
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-08-30 03:28:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-29 23:05:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
I've read HDM. The knife has very little significance in the story. Your accusations are unfounded.
______________
I know you have. ( http://www.ubersite.com/m/89372#2027724 )
Hence, my accusation.
Do you deny the similarities so far? I shall wait to see in the next installments.
Sadly, I've started to grow weary of the pattern of MIMICRY in your series posts. Don't get me wrong, it's not your actual writing that annoys me (that is usually pretty good), it's your lack of originality (with ideas) combined with your maximum effort. I just start thinking as I'm reading, "Fuck this, I'll just read/watch the originals."
1) The Pearl Jam series
2) ATP inspired by the ATP from thecaes and Jack_McCallum (who was inspired by 'I am Legend,' by Richard Matheson)
3) The Malleys inspired by The Sopranos.
4) Battle d'Uber inspired by Battle Royale.
5) This series, inspired by HDM (maybe too soon to tell)?
I'm sure there are other examples...
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-08-30 02:44:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not that old. I have a brother your age. You're smarter than he is, though I have hope for him yet.
He's good at football. Really good.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-30 01:45:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-08-30 01:37:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ignorant child. They covered it.
-----
I'm not as ancient as you are to know such facts, sire.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-30 01:45:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-08-30 01:41:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
patiently awaiting the next installment
--
Coming soon.
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-08-30 01:41:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
patiently awaiting the next installment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-08-30 01:37:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ignorant child. They covered it.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-30 01:26:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Led Zeppelin?
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-08-30 00:26:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Forgive the lack of apostrophes. I pasted it from a website.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-08-30 00:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In my time of dying, want nobody to mourn
All I want for you to do is take my body home
Well, well, well, so I can die easy
Well, well, well, so I can die easy
Jesus, gonna make up my dyin bed.
Meet me, jesus, meet me. meet me in the middle of the air
If my wings should fail me, lord. please meet me with another pair
Well, well, well, so I can die easy
Well, well, well, so I can die easy
Jesus, gonna make up.. somebody, somebody...
Jesus gonna make up... jesus gonna make you my dyin bed
Oh, Saint Peter, at the gates of heaven... wont you let me in
I never did no harm. I never did no wrong
Oh, Gabriel, let me blow your horn. let me blow your horn
Oh, I never did, did no harm.
Ive only been this young once. I never thought Id do anybody no wrong
No, not once.
Oh, I did somebody some good. somebody some good...
Oh, did somebody some good. I must have did somebody some good...
And I see them in the streets
And I see them in the field
And I hear them shouting under my feet
And I know its got to be real
Oh, lord, deliver me
All the wrong Ive done
You can deliver me, lord
I only wanted to have some fun.
Hear the angels marchin, hear the marchin, hear them marchin,
Hear them marchin, the marchin
Oh, dont you make it my dyin, dyin, dyin...
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-29 23:05:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-08-29 20:23:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
The current universe in the story, as well as the possibility of more, smells like "His Dark Materials".
Adam sounds like Will Parry.
And the Magen Emet sounds like the Subtle Knife.
Will there be any daemon sightings?
---------
I've read HDM. The knife has very little significance in the story. Your accusations are unfounded.
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-08-29 20:32:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Try brevity of expression at first, if not duration.
Ease your way into it, like Orgasmatron into the ass of a small boy.
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-08-29 20:23:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The current universe in the story, as well as the possibility of more, smells like "His Dark Materials".
Adam sounds like Will Parry.
And the Magen Emet sounds like the Subtle Knife.
Will there be any daemon sightings?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-29 20:18:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-08-29 20:15:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
No explanation, boy.
But here's a +2 in the hopes brevity sneaks into your room like Orgasmatron at a boys orphanage, and smothers you in your sleep.
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Whoa, you're asking for brevity?
It takes me 2000 words at least just to describe a sneeze, I don't think brevity's gonna happen.
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-08-29 20:15:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No explanation, boy.
But here's a +2 in the hopes brevity sneaks into your room like Orgasmatron at a boys orphanage, and smothers you in your sleep.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-29 20:07:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-08-29 20:05:25 (#)
Ranking: 0
The title was very encouraging.
But the last three words were depressing.
--------
As soon as I saw your review on Orgasmatron's post, I knew that you were coming to strike this one. Would you care to explain why continuing this was a bad idea?
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-08-29 20:05:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The title was very encouraging.
But the last three words were depressing.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-29 19:59:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-08-29 19:51:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
spiritually scientific, scientifically spiritual, and utterly intelligent and asskicking
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Thanks, that's what I was shooting for. It gets a hell of a lot better, people travel to different times and universes, all either to fight against or protect their image of God - the Authority.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-08-29 19:51:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
spiritually scientific, scientifically spiritual, and utterly intelligent and asskicking
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-29 19:46:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2006-08-29 19:45:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
you gotta be strong to be a rasta mon
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Yeahh you're back. Post some more Sampson dude.
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2006-08-29 19:45:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you gotta be strong to be a rasta mon
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-29 19:39:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-08-29 19:33:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
What of Africa and Oz?
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I was going to post the rest of the world eg South America, Oceania and everything else, but decided on the places people would know the best. Apologies to Thorpe, Shandy, etc.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-08-29 19:33:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What of Africa and Oz?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-29 19:01:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-08-29 18:58:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
Playing with the concept of time and particles in a story seems to be a big challenge for a lot of writers. Have you read Timequake by Vonnegut?
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I've heard of the book, and seen some other Vonnegut work dealing with time. I think I have a handle on the concept I'm entailing.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-08-29 18:58:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Playing with the concept of time and particles in a story seems to be a big challenge for a lot of writers. Have you read Timequake by Vonnegut?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-29 18:40:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-08-29 18:34:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
The introduction reads like an ETS post.
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I was hoping it wouldn't sound like that but yeah I see what you mean.
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-08-29 18:34:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The introduction reads like an ETS post.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-29 17:59:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is some kind of emo band, I take it?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-29 15:27:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-08-29 15:12:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Gripping already. More please.
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Thanks, more coming soon. I have six parts finished already, still writing more.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-29 15:25:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-29 15:12:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Did he die a dusty death?
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Whom killed him, and why? He died a stabby death, and dusty.
If I looking for dead priest, him name hopkin green priest. Who took my priest? Who found my priest? I'll find my priest. Love Timmy.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-29 15:24:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-08-29 14:52:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-28 00:39:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Bwoy out a road fi wi name dem a call, bout dem want fi dis Basement Jaxx after all, when we check it out dem a brain it small, seven time rise seven time will fall. Dubplate pop out a mash up di dancehall, crowd de pon di receiving end dema a bawl who dem a bawl for Basement name dam a call true dem play sweet music fi one and all.
Di people dem a beg di super DJ fi more because dem love di way wi play di hardcore dem a jump an shout like a goal jus score watch how dem bubblin pon di dancefloor. Di vibes dem hot and di music wicked wi come fi nice up di life weh you life jump an shout an tell dem be positive, live di life you love love di life you live.
Some say dem a badman but dem a big fugitive how dem fi pop off dem gun no want nobody fi live, if dem a badman then nobody should be dead all know dem deh a dem yard with dem bible a beg. But some a fool never know di rule dem never did go to Basement Jaxx school be we's willing fi teach dem fi a shilling make sure he's not di next victim in a killing. Cos we have di knowledge we go a good college A+ in a history and home economics an wi love music that's why wi bust up di garage if a guy want test wi him dead.
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Best song ever.
Jump 'n' Shout by the Basement Jaxx, British-Jamaican Reggae group.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-29 15:24:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by delboy (user info) at 2006-08-29 14:46:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
Very well presented, good story, I instinctively clicked on the title because it resembles the (1) after the 'inbox' in my email account
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Just regular chapter numbering. Thanks, it gets a lot better.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-29 15:23:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-29 14:35:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF I'm not reading all that!
But +2 astrophysics intro.
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*dies*
TTOM said I broke his brain with that.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-08-29 15:12:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gripping already. More please.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-29 15:12:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did he die a dusty death?
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-08-29 14:52:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-28 00:39:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Bwoy out a road fi wi name dem a call, bout dem want fi dis Basement Jaxx after all, when we check it out dem a brain it small, seven time rise seven time will fall. Dubplate pop out a mash up di dancehall, crowd de pon di receiving end dema a bawl who dem a bawl for Basement name dam a call true dem play sweet music fi one and all.
Di people dem a beg di super DJ fi more because dem love di way wi play di hardcore dem a jump an shout like a goal jus score watch how dem bubblin pon di dancefloor. Di vibes dem hot and di music wicked wi come fi nice up di life weh you life jump an shout an tell dem be positive, live di life you love love di life you live.
Some say dem a badman but dem a big fugitive how dem fi pop off dem gun no want nobody fi live, if dem a badman then nobody should be dead all know dem deh a dem yard with dem bible a beg. But some a fool never know di rule dem never did go to Basement Jaxx school be we's willing fi teach dem fi a shilling make sure he's not di next victim in a killing. Cos we have di knowledge we go a good college A+ in a history and home economics an wi love music that's why wi bust up di garage if a guy want test wi him dead.
Submitted by delboy (user info) at 2006-08-29 14:48:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you related to Quetzlcoatl?
Submitted by delboy (user info) at 2006-08-29 14:46:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very well presented, good story, I instinctively clicked on the title because it resembles the (1) after the 'inbox' in my email account
Submitted by blueboy (user info) at 2006-08-29 14:37:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As I Lie Dying is though
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-29 14:35:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF I'm not reading all that!
But +2 astrophysics intro.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-29 14:04:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wish I drew borders on the map.
Go Google Earth woo!