Hardships of being a pirate. (461 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.66 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sock. (View user info) at 2006-08-30 22:03:47 EDT
As a pirate, a pirate with a ship, and a pirate with a patch, I must believe in certain things. Such as booty and tig bitties. I listen to Marriah Carrey and Danny Carey while sailing the seven seas, but the music does not mix at times.
So I bought some headphones, and two cd players. Danny Carey in one ear, for the left side of my brain, and Marriah Carrie for my right. Helps me concentrate, but I have major mood swings. I have obliterated the connection between my right and left brain.
So anyway, I was sailing, pullin the wheel this way and that when I decided I needed to make a list. A list of everything I believe in. Or whatever, but it didn't work out so well. I ended up breaking my pencils while trying to sharpen them with my sword, and more aren't easy to come by in the open sea, so I had to make my own. But I had plenty of paper.
#1.) Pizza for breakfast, and right before dinner.
#2.) ... Beer before pizza, and after too.
#2.) Rum with dinner, and coke afterwards.
#3.) Naked monkey fight after rum.
#4.) Orange slices with breakfast.
But then I decided to make my own wine, but I don't know how!
User Reviews
Submitted by King_Wicker (user info) at 2006-08-31 12:21:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Gee golly guys! We're going to eat pizza for breakfast (even though you're not supposed to!) and drink one of Dad's beers while he and Mom are out of state! Man, then maybe we'll stay up until 11! We can watch naked monkey fights too because late night HBO comes in fuzzy!
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2006-08-31 12:09:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope you make like a real pirate and contract syphillis from a transvestite prostitute in a far away land. Then months later as it ravages your body and drives you insane you'll jump off your ship and be mauled to death by the navy's experimental dolphin explosive team, who will surely carve your heart out with a spoon and laugh at you infintessimally small penis.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-08-31 10:28:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this is the lamest thing ever
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2006-08-31 08:17:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You look about 14. Come back when you have hair on your nuts like that guy on the right has on his chin.
Submitted by Sockster (user info) at 2006-08-31 00:03:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm not actually that kid. I'm not that weird looking.
And uh... I like your camwhore WITH NO HOOK. Brutha.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2006-08-30 23:45:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
So you're the one not even pretending to have an eye patch? You lose.
Hookhand the pirate does NOT approve this post
Submitted by Sockster (user info) at 2006-08-30 22:11:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Duude, that one's me.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-30 22:06:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The head on that dude in the middle is shaped like a funnel.