Apparently regular English is not regular. Plus me in a bra! (1440 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: gabblypeepee
Rating: 1.38 on 42 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by awesomeface (View user info) at 2006-08-31 14:54:34 EDT
Summer is coming to an end and we all must say goodbye to the warm weather and welcome the leaves of autumn.
Fucken leaves.
Leaves are annoying. They get everywhere and they don't melt like snow. You don't see sun rays clogging your gutter do you?
Let's face it, leaves are assholes.
Not only do we have to welcome the leaves but for those of us who haven't fallen prey to working in an office cubicle from 9 to 5 every day for the rest of our lives, have to go back to school.
I'm an average student. Average students take average classes. Now if I told you that a simile of average would be regular, would you agree with me?
If not then you are probably not of average or regular intelligence.
AND DON'T TRY TO TELL ME YOU ARE ONLY ONE OF THOSE BECAUSE YOU CAN'T! THOSE ARE FUCKEN SIMILES ASSHOLE! ALL OR NOTHING!
Now there is a certain class on my schedule. It says Enlish IV Regular. So I walk into my seemingly average regular english class for the first day of school.
I take my seat and take no notice that 4 of the 14 students in the class are on the special ed basketball team. The rest are just special or fucking stupid(black).
"Hmmmmm, this must be the wrong class." I say to myself. I walk outside and look at the room number. It is correct. I ask the teacher what her name is. It matches my schedule.
Well hell it can't be that bad can it?
The teacher sits us down and gives us our books and all the bullcrap talks. We go onto our first activity.
She shows us an overhead slide of a menu. We are supposed to look for anything that seems out of the ordinary. The menu reads as follows.
STUFF
STUFF
STUFF
STUFF
STUFF
STUFF
CHICKEN 2.25
BEEF 2.50
BEEF/CHICKEN COMBO 3.00
CHILDREN 2.00
All meats prepared, well done, medium well and medium.
Look at that last line again
CHILDREN 2.00
On a menu.
So of course I burst out laughing because making fun of children is something all of us here on Ubersite love to do. Eating them is all the more funny.
But it seems I am the only one laughing. None of the kids get it. Not one of them.
"Well Mr.Face you want to explain it to them and tell us what it should say?" The teacher says.
"Yeah, it makes it look like you can eat children for two dollars. It should say children eat for two dollars."
"Very good." She says looking at me being able to tell I probably wasn't supposed to be there.
"I don't get it." One of the kids yells.
"Yeah me neither. What's so funny."
The teacher begins to explain it to them but still nothing.
I had a talk with the teacher and my counselor. There is no other spots in ANY other class for that time.
So I have to stay in a special education english class for the rest of the semester before I can switch. Even though I was recommended by last years teacher to an advanced placement level class.
I said. "No I will just take the regular route." So I marked regular english.
WELL REGULAR JUST AIN'T REGULAR NO MORE!
Since I'm in a special ed class now, I have to do my best to look retarded. How does this look?
User Reviews
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2006-09-01 10:44:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As the first part of the title made me think that the end said 'pulse me in brail,' and for your username.
Submitted by Jorge_Burrito (user info) at 2006-09-01 02:31:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I'd do you in the pooper
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2006-08-31 23:18:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmmm I am torn whether or not to give my name on Uber... Bad things tend to happen when people know your name (see Jeff Laben, Alain Laflamme, and Eric Rice)
http://gabbly.com/http://www.ubersite.com
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-31 22:42:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-08-31 21:50:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
HOT! Call me when you turn 18 poopy-pants.
______________
HAR HAR I R 18!!!
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2006-08-31 22:19:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow awesome, you're such a pimp...
and by pimp I mean retarded down-syndrome kid.
+2 for the story though. At my school we have this thing called WebAssign, and during the tutorial it shows a map of the United States and asks the student to indentify where Colorado is. I shit you not, 90% of the students couldn't do it.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-08-31 21:50:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HOT! Call me when you turn 18 poopy-pants.
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-08-31 21:27:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ex‧traor‧di‧nar‧y  /ɪkˈstrɔrdnˌɛri, ˌɛkstrəˈɔr-/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[ik-strawr-dn-er-ee, ek-struh-awr-] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
-adjective
1. beyond what is usual, ordinary, regular, or established
How hard is that to understand? Seems logical to me, asshole.
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2006-08-31 20:26:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice....enjoy being compared to retards.
"What is better than winning a gold metal at the Special Olympics?"
"Not being retarded!"
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-31 20:14:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-31 20:12:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
Mr. Face, you may indeed be in the proper class. Two words that mean virtually the same thing
are NOT similes, they are synonyms. .
:)
*******
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:04:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
One part of English that pisses me off?
Extraordinary.
Extra=more
Ordinary=uh, ordinary.
So, more ordinary?
If I did an extraordinary job, then I did it more ordinary than others would have?
Fuck extraordinary...I despise that word.
__________________
Extra also means 'outside of', as in extraterrestrial.
Extraordinary means outside of the ordinary.
-Dr. Bubba, centarian grammarian-
________________________________________________________
FUCK. Well in my special defense i wrote this on under 10 minutes.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-31 20:12:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mr. Face, you may indeed be in the proper class. Two words that mean virtually the same thing
are NOT similes, they are synonyms. .
:)
*******
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:04:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
One part of English that pisses me off?
Extraordinary.
Extra=more
Ordinary=uh, ordinary.
So, more ordinary?
If I did an extraordinary job, then I did it more ordinary than others would have?
Fuck extraordinary...I despise that word.
__________________
Extra also means 'outside of', as in extraterrestrial.
Extraordinary means outside of the ordinary.
-Dr. Bubba, centarian grammarian-
Submitted by whysenheimer (user info) at 2006-08-31 19:36:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Awfulface.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-31 18:56:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:50:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
just who do you think you are....me?
===
HAHAHA SOOO much hawtness
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-08-31 17:49:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha...I'm pretty sure you're in the right class..
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-08-31 16:56:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-31 16:46:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2006-08-31 16:31:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Is Ryan or Sean Hogan one of the Special Ed kids you are talking about?
One of those vultures ended up being in my Government class.
Didn't really expect to see anyone from Uber in real life... Now I guess I have to commit suicide.
(Explodes)
-
Holy shit. Yeah Ryan Hogan is in my class.
Quite the coincidence.
What's your name?
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-08-31 16:41:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
All hail Caesar!!
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2006-08-31 16:31:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is Ryan or Sean Hogan one of the Special Ed kids you are talking about?
One of those vultures ended up being in my Government class.
Didn't really expect to see anyone from Uber in real life... Now I guess I have to commit suicide.
(Explodes)
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-08-31 16:15:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My boobies are bigger than yours.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-31 16:13:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:53:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:50:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
just who do you think you are....me?
-
yes but not as hot
------
tru dat
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:53:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:50:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
just who do you think you are....me?
-
yes but not as hot
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:53:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HOLY SHIT SLIGHTLY OBNOXIOUS OR WHOEVER!
Fuck i've seen you before.
That's creepy as fuck.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:51:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:31:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Uhhh...
Ummm...
I think you might go to my school...
I'm not kidding.
-
Neuqua Valley?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:50:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
just who do you think you are....me?
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:31:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uhhh...
Ummm...
I think you might go to my school...
I'm not kidding.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:26:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
is your name bob?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:26:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Too much gayness.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:26:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should be glad that you're no longer considered regular. You're special, just like the rest of your classmates.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:26:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice rack
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:25:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
rock n roll! into the future!
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:17:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:15:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Judging by that picture you would fit right in here
http://www.r-v-t.com/html/galleries/index.html
I kid.
-Dave
-
Woohoo!
Gay Bar!
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:15:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Judging by that picture you would fit right in here
http://www.r-v-t.com/html/galleries/index.html
I kid.
-Dave
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:14:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Those are small tits.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:14:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:07:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
haha, you look like a fucking idiot...in a good way
-
That's kinda like
"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND SIT DOWN!" He said as nicely as possible.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:10:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because someone already jizzed on it.
(it was me)
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:07:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha, you look like a fucking idiot...in a good way
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:05:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Forgot to rate.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:04:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm waiting for somebody to photochop this picture.
Does anybody smell competition?
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:04:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
One part of English that pisses me off?
Extraordinary.
Extra=more
Ordinary=uh, ordinary.
So, more ordinary?
If I did an extraordinary job, then I did it more ordinary than others would have?
Fuck extraordinary...I despise that word.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:03:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:02:06 (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm printing this picture out and putting it on the inside of a stall door here.
Giving some co-workers some stroke material.
You think I'm kidding.
-
I would most certainly not be surprised.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:02:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm printing this picture out and putting it on the inside of a stall door here.
Giving some co-workers some stroke material.
You think I'm kidding.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:00:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
regular enlish iv?
i think you SHOULD be in that class.
Mongo.
Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2006-08-31 14:55:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
skeet skeet