My First Asian (1338 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.82 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by GANK (View user info) at 2006-09-01 11:21:11 EDT
No, I didn't have to go 50 miles, at 2am, to watch some chick play Mah-Jongg with her grandmother, in a retirement home.
But she was a very family-oriented girl.
We met at a dorm charity event in college. I won the free manicure that she had donated to the cause. At first I thought, "what girl will *really* appreciate this"? And by "girl" I meant, "round-eyed girl". And by "appreciate" I meant, enough to give me something special. But then it hit me. I'd be passing up on a good hour or two - however fucking long a manicure takes, how was I to know? - of face time with an exotic young female from the Orient? So I swallowed some of my manhood, and scheduled the thing.
We got about 10 minutes into small-talk, after I expressed my reservation for getting my nails done since "I'm a man, and all", when she dropped the bomb on me: "I'm from Minnesota". In retrospect it wasn't that big of a bomb. I mean, it came out of left field for sure, but not out of the fucking Enola Gay for god's sake. But it did shatter the allure a bit. It turned out that she was a nice little fusion of Asian and American. She spoke Mandarin and fluent English, learning from her parents, but she liked baseball. And I'm talking this was pre-Ichiro. She played tennis, not ping-pong. And actually I schooled her once at ping-pong, winning a bet, so she had to introduce herself as Phooey, short for Hong Kong Phooey, for the next 2 weeks. Her diet was almost exclusively Asian though. She introduced me to sushi, and laughed at my chopstick skills. I introduced her to jazz, and laughed at her lack of rhythm.
I put TIME in on this one. I pretended that I liked hearing her dad play violin. And then it finally happened.
She was petite, sensual, giving, and hairless. Not shaven; just *without* hair. Milky skin, but more like soy milk. At first it was awkward, trying to find the right angles. I was tall; she wasn't flexible. It was like a giraffe trying to hump a bengal tiger. She said I was her first white boy.
She should see my chopstick skills now.
[Hopefully, *this* will bring the asian womenz. [One-year Uberversary post.]]
User Reviews
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:46:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
filename
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-09-03 16:50:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Asian girls are hot in the sack because they make noises that whites/blacks/latinos don't.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-03 16:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for fighting the good fight.
They will come. Rest assured. The Asians will come. In time.
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2006-09-03 15:21:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-09-01 18:14:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
My wife is Asian...
+2 fo' j00.
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you knocked up a 15 y.o. thai hooker?
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-09-01 21:01:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-09-01 11:25:14 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-09-01 11:22:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
that is one badly photoshopped tiger
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-09-01 18:14:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My wife is Asian...
+2 fo' j00.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-09-01 16:14:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/32498
Did she look like this? If she did it was your first lady boy.
But I guess if she speaks english she was probably the real deal.
Seriously though, I used to have a thing for asian chicks, but after living in an asian country they don't do it for me anymore. I still miss the sparse genital hair that doesn't need trimming (or maybe that was only because I banged 14yr olds).
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2006-09-01 14:47:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Milky skin, but more like soy milk.
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Yes.
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2006-09-01 13:52:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is that the giraffe's tail give the tiger teh buttsecks?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-09-01 13:41:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good to go
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-09-01 13:32:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-09-01 12:16:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FILENAME
Submitted by Cracked_out_cali (user info) at 2006-09-01 12:14:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good Stuff. I know where you're coming from.
(NSFW)http://www.ubersite.com/m/82610(NSFW)
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2006-09-01 11:56:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great post, greaterererer picture.
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-09-01 11:53:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You said Enola.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-09-01 11:52:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I consider that a fairly good excuse... MS Paint sucks for copying and pasting.
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-09-01 11:29:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nuh-uh, it just has a green glow about it - a post-giraffe-sex euphoria.
[And I used MSpaint, not photoshop, but I know I know, *that's* no excuse.]
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-09-01 11:25:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-09-01 11:22:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
that is one badly photoshopped tiger
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-09-01 11:22:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that is one badly photoshopped tiger