As I Lay Dying: Pillar (2) (761 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesLabels: aild
Rating: 1.57 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Axolotl .58 (View user info) at 2006-09-02 11:04:25 EDT
AS I LAY DYING
(1) Unto Dust, and story information: http://www.ubersite.com/m/92393
It was evening on the first day of travel for Adam, and he was only minimally closer to London. He had been traveling for eight hours, mostly walking, though he had been able to hitch a ride partway on a bus. Still, he was fifty miles from home, farther than he had ever been alone in his life.
The roads had been lonely, with only the occasional motorcar passing by. Often the roads would veer into towns, and now that he was closer to London, the suburbs stretched rather endlessly. He was near Sussex now, by a branch of the River Woking, the road getting dark as the sun set.
Adam had confidence starting out on his journey, but now that it was nearly night, he needed to find a place to stay, or at least to hide out. Adam was suspicious to the point of paranoia by nature, and this only intensified it. Naturally, like he had been doing it for ages, Adam took the sheathed sword wrapped in paper out of his rucksack and held it in his hands.
It was night. The owls hooted in the trees, and in the River Woking, beings of the night lurked. They said that vampires and werewolves came from the mists on the Scottish moors to the north, and that evil witches and sometimes wizards lurked between the branches.
There was a sign, up ahead, pointing the way to Wokingham, the nearest town on the course of the river. Past Wokingham was Reading where the Woking met the Thames, then Maidenhead, and Windsor, Kingston, London, Wapping, Limehouse, Gravesend all the way out to Tilbury on the mouth of the Thames and into the Baltic Ocean.
A wind moved on the face of the waters, and dim lights shone through the trees. "Who are you?" called Adam, frantically tearing the paper off his sword.
The lights dimmed, and suddenly intensified, three beings rushing in at Adam from the water and trees. Adam screamed, slicing through the air with the short sword, fearing that the creatures surrounding him were demons.
"Stop him," whispered a dark, low voice. Adam opened his eyes to see a man all of light before him, a shimmering curved sword in his hand. He was naked but not ashamed, and had light curly hair. It was like looking at an underdeveloped photograph, he was more of an outline of a man than a man.
"Get back!" Adam cried, but the spirit-being rushed forward, spreading out massive wings and bearing down on Adam. Adam stabbed upward with the sword, and shining silvery blood splashed down on him. Adam kept stabbing, slashing through the half-solid form of the spirit, showering himself and the ground with the divine ichor.
The spirit screamed, his body dissolving into nothingness. Tendrils of atoms and feathers spread away from his body as he fell, disappearing into the night. Adam looked around, his body shaking uncontrollably. Two more spirits, one male, one female, stood on the road before him, looking puzzled and considerably calmer.
"What's your name, boy?" the male asked.
"Ad-dam Waters, from Co...Corbury, Hampshire," Adam choked, standing defensively with the sword. "What are you?"
"We're bene elim, powers of the Authority," replied the woman. "Messengers, spirits...we're angels, should you wish to call us that. My name is Opaiosaita, and my companion is Amaliel. Our leader is Enoch."
"Do you serve God or the Devil?" Adam asked, somewhat reassured by their easy nature. This calmness was broken as both angels laughed haughtily.
"God and the Devil? You humans, with generalizations, and black-and-white polarization," Amaliel laughed. "It's a complex metaphysical question you're asking, and your dull human grasp of the subject is humorous."
"Why did he attack me?" Adam asked, the sword out before him.
"To keep you safe," replied Amaliel.
"Do you serve the person who lives at 91 Sturrock Drive in London?"
Amaliel paused, and said, "Perhaps."
"I can barely see you...are you solid or...or what?" asked Adam, backing away slowly.
"You see us better at night," Opaiosaita said. "Come with us, Adam, and we can protect you from evil things out there, servants of evil...or you can return to your town, and stay away from London."
"You want me to stay away from London?" Adam asked warily.
"Go home, Adam," Amaliel said, his wings fluttering softly. "Return to Corbury, and forget the sword, and what the priest said."
The angels stood shoulder-to-shoulder, barring Adam's path down the tree-lined, leafy Surrey road. Shock evaporating from the attack, Adam nodded and backed away, sword still out. "I'll do it, just leave me alone," Adam stuttered, walking away down the path, back toward his homeland.
"Good luck, Adam," Amaliel called out quietly.
Adam ran back down the path, content to escape unharmed and with his sword...something lingered in the back of his mind, though...had he killed the angel? A motorcar sounded in the distance, and Adam waved his hand to get the black Ford to stop.
"Sir, are you going toward Hampshire, sir?" Adam asked.
"I'm driving to Southampton, young man," the man inside the car said. He was a gentleman, judging by his appearance and speech, and Adam felt humbled. The man had a dark polo shirt on and wore a thin mustache. "Do you need a lift? James Cosgrove, Regent's Park."
"Thank you, sir," Adam said, climbing in gratefully. "Adam Waters, from Corbury. You can just take me to Southampton and I'll walk from there."
"Nonsense, boy," Cosgrove said, driving the car down the road. "I'll take you to where you live."
* * *
"Good lord!" Cosgrove exclaimed, waking Adam from his sleep. The motorcar had come to a stop on a ridge above the town of Corbury, and the man was exiting the car in panic. Adam opened the car door, and saw through the dark night smoke and fire rising from the valley down below, from Corbury. Gunshots echoed across the grass.
"Don't look, boy," Cosgrove said, looking across the ridge. Adam stared down the fiery valley, and his stomach twisted in his gut. Armed platoons of riflemen bearing the Vatican flag marched through the inflamed lanes, their officers directing them with revolvers. Fire-throwers spat burning-hot tar into the roofs of the tiny hamlet, including the diminutive house Adam recognized as his own.
James Cosgrove cursed and climbed back in his car wordlessly, not managing even a word to Adam, who was still standing, stunned. Volleys of gunfire, foreign to Adam's ears, ricocheted down in Corbury as the two hundred inhabitants of the village were systematically exterminated.
It was the confutation, the most extreme measure the Magisterial Court could take; the destruction of the people of a region, branded as heretics. The brigade of Vatican soldiers had entered the village at midnight, and slaughtered every man, woman and child in Corbury under the flag of the Pope and of God.
The dead were being laid in piles outside their houses—parents clutched their children, and lovers clung together in an embrace of death, the soldiers using single bullets to kill two at once. The acrid smell of burning flesh and rubber scented the air.
Everything Adam knew, everything that he loved, was gone.
"We didn't know, Adam," said a familiar voice behind Adam. "But we're glad you didn't arrive at the village earlier. You would have been captured by the lower ranks of the Vatican."
The figure moved in front of Adam, fading in and out of vision with the fires. It was Amaliel, the angel. "Are you listening, Adam?" he asked, his eyes glinting through the dim outline of his body. "It's over Adam, your old life. You have to come with me."
"Where are we going?" Adam asked dully, his heart aching in emptiness.
"It's hard to explain," Amaliel said. "We're going somewhere close...just millimeters away actually. Through the subatomic particles...I'll tell you more on the way. We're going to somewhere I know well, my home."
"The priest said to go to London..." Adam protested, his voice weak.
"Come with me, Adam," Amaliel said, his figure shining as though there was a backlight behind him. Adam turned his face away from the burning village, his face wet with tears, and took Amaliel's hand.
"Oh, Jesus, Amaliel..." Adam choked, his throat burning.
"Come with me, Adam."
Amaliel took Adam's hands and squeezed them tightly. Their hair rose, and the world faded into blurs of color and lights, sounds muffled over an indescribable white noise. It was dark, shimmering globules of molecules shivering before Adam's eyes. The world drew back into focus, but it was radically different.
Things were the same...there was a moon hovering above the earth, stars shining brightly in the night air, but everything was undeniably different. From the scent of the air, to the clouds in the sky, there was something subtle and intangible about this place. Adam's legs buckled and he fell against Amaliel's warm, comforting chest, and closed his eyes.
He was one of the few humans alive to awake in one world and fall asleep in another.
User Reviews
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-12-18 12:55:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-25 13:54:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-10-16 18:53:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sweet story
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-09-13 12:39:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2006-09-04 22:32:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
sorry, ax. i have some criticism (honestly constructive, but feel free to ignore.)
- dont use past-perfect tense so much. (i think thats what the 'had been doing' tense is called). it makes the story seem much less active.
- dialogue (though minimal) was a little contrived for my taste, but then again, its hard to write for an angel.
- integrate description into action, rather than giving each its own little paragraph.
-use a thesaurus rather than use 'lurk' 2x in one paragraph. (thats a pet peeve of mine. the book 'the godfather' used the word 'sphincter' twice in the entire novel, and it irritated me. especially cause both times it was during a strangulation.)
-keep writing. i havent read the third bit yet, but i will. now.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-09-04 01:12:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for ambition.
But I felt it lost its way a little.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-09-03 17:27:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Weekend = bad
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2006-09-02 22:46:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just gave you the reason: I didn't like it much. Nothing personal, but it was cookie cutter and you added another dorky map. These maps are fucking annoying as all hell. Again, a thousand pardons, sir, I hope it is OK that I give you this -2.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-09-02 22:36:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Potential.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-09-02 22:17:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2006-09-02 21:58:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
Why yes, yes I am. Am I still allowed to voice a negative opinion about something, sir?
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You were the one who got pissed at people -2ing you without explanation.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2006-09-02 21:58:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why yes, yes I am. Am I still allowed to voice a negative opinion about something, sir?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-09-02 21:32:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-02 20:34:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-09-02 20:23:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-02 18:41:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Alright I just read one and two.
I am guessing that there are some aspects of time travel involved in this.
The letter addressed to Adam said it was 2006 but it sounds like these characters are living in the turn of the century.
You said that the particles move back and forth so things can be anywhere (or everywhere) within the millions of alternate users.
Is it possible that father mac was killed sometime in the future? Am I on to something or just thinking too much?
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Not exactly.
Adam's living in a separate universe, where it's April 2006. There's a couple universes involved, all at different times, but the turn of the century feel is just from Adam's repressed, controled society.
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So us here (us in a real life) are living in our own universe.
Adam is in the same time period as us (2006) but his universe took a turn at some point where the church took over.
Then there is also Universes X,Y,Z and a billion others where everything is different.
Is that it?
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Yep, you got it. Trillions of trillion to the trillionth power universes.
Our universe and Adam's universe were the same until a splitting-off point, in March 1711.
During a battle in the War of the Spanish Succession, the French lost in our world, but won at the same time, splitting off their universe. In our world, England became powerful, and because of that the United States is powerful now. In their world, France became powerful, and because of that, the Vatican Church is powerful now.
Look up the concept of Schroedinger's Cat, it explains it better than I do.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-02 20:34:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-09-02 20:23:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-02 18:41:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Alright I just read one and two.
I am guessing that there are some aspects of time travel involved in this.
The letter addressed to Adam said it was 2006 but it sounds like these characters are living in the turn of the century.
You said that the particles move back and forth so things can be anywhere (or everywhere) within the millions of alternate users.
Is it possible that father mac was killed sometime in the future? Am I on to something or just thinking too much?
-----------
Not exactly.
Adam's living in a separate universe, where it's April 2006. There's a couple universes involved, all at different times, but the turn of the century feel is just from Adam's repressed, controled society.
-----------
So us here (us in a real life) are living in our own universe.
Adam is in the same time period as us (2006) but his universe took a turn at some point where the church took over.
Then there is also Universes X,Y,Z and a billion others where everything is different.
Is that it?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-09-02 20:23:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-02 18:41:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Alright I just read one and two.
I am guessing that there are some aspects of time travel involved in this.
The letter addressed to Adam said it was 2006 but it sounds like these characters are living in the turn of the century.
You said that the particles move back and forth so things can be anywhere (or everywhere) within the millions of alternate users.
Is it possible that father mac was killed sometime in the future? Am I on to something or just thinking too much?
-----------
Not exactly.
Adam's living in a separate universe, where it's April 2006. There's a couple universes involved, all at different times, but the turn of the century feel is just from Adam's repressed, controled society.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-02 18:41:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Alright I just read one and two.
I am guessing that there are some aspects of time travel involved in this.
The letter addressed to Adam said it was 2006 but it sounds like these characters are living in the turn of the century.
You said that the particles move back and forth so things can be anywhere (or everywhere) within the millions of alternate users.
Is it possible that father mac was killed sometime in the future? Am I on to something or just thinking too much?
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-02 18:24:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-09-02 16:11:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-02 13:46:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sounds cool so far. Haven't read the whole thing yet. I'll do it when I get home.
Good Axolotl stuff as usual.
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Yep. It's weird, this has like 55 reviews and the next one has 8.
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You posted on the weekend silly, that's why.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-09-02 16:10:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2006-09-02 14:44:13 (#)
Ranking: -2
Is it OK if I -2 this sir? I did not like it particularly much.
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From http://www.ubersite.com/m/90699
Anyhow, I've realized for some time now that life is not found in bitching about the world. Also, it is nearly impossible to change anyone's mind about anything. I think Benjamin Franklin (or someone) said that no argument had ever been won, and I believe that. I try to keep an open mind, but I think it's nearly impossible to change anyone's behavior or actions other than my own, so I don't even try. I consider it an exercise in futility.
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You wrote that a few weeks ago. Still applying it to your life?
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2006-09-02 14:44:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Is it OK if I -2 this sir? I did not like it particularly much.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-09-02 14:29:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
woo
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-09-02 13:45:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-09-02 12:40:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-09-02 12:17:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
I read the story info and wow.
Very good read.
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Thanks
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-09-02 12:17:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read the story info and wow.
Very good read.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-09-02 11:36:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ahh, dammit.
Steve sent us another video.
This one's of the No Bills posters.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-09-02 11:16:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-09-02 11:04:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If this is your first time reading this, you should probably look at the story info.