Why vodka and Y HELO THAR just don't mix (781 hits)
Category: HumorLabels: ubercomics
Rating: 1.16 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Maltese (View user info) at 2006-09-02 15:11:51 EDT
About a year ago in the summer, I was at a party at my friend Hennessy's house. His parents were away during the summer, so he threw a party every week. Such a party would usually consist of about ten friends, marijuana, vodka, sex, junk food, and teenage debauchery. As you can imagine, it kicked more ass than a superpowered ass-kicking machine. Usually there were only two guys there (besides me and Hennessy), the others were girls. There were possibly some of the most beautiful (albeit slutty) girls I had ever met. They'd get drunk, have sex with us, strip, dance, stuff like that. But tonight was different. Very different.
I remember that night like it was yesterday. Me and Hennessy played Halo 2 for an hour or so before the first girl arrived. Everyone arrived within twenty minutes. We smoked the weed, ate some Oreo cake (it was quite possibly the best cake I've ever tasted), talked to the girls, until eventually everyone was ready for the vodka. It was vanilla vodka (Absolut), like always. But something felt different after I drank a few shots. It wasn't the normal vodka buzz. It was something else, but I just couldn't put my finger on it. In thirty minutes or so, I learned the hard way that some guy had put LSD into the vodka, and pretty soon we were all tripping balls.
One guy, Ricky, didn't drink the vodka, so he was not tripping. Nine hours later, we woke up. I was under my bed, wearing nothing but a shirt. Eventually we all dressed up and went downstairs, fresh from our acid-induced wonderlands, to ask Ricky what he saw us do last night.
"You and Hennessy done had sex in the butt", he said.
"You... you're shitting me, right?", I said, worried.
"I'm 'fraid it's true, Rusty, I done saw you all. I was getting some chips and I saw you two screwin' around on your bed."
"Come on dude, this isn't funny", replied Hennessy.
"Would I lie 'bout this sort of thing?", he said.
Immediately I reached down and felt my ass. It hurt. Bad. My mouth gaped open and my face turned red. Everybody was staring at me. There was nothing to do but to get out of that room and survey the damage done to my ass and to repair it if possible. As I sprinted up the staircase for the bathroom, I worried that my anus may have been annihilated beyond all recognition and that I may never shit the same ever again. Thoughts spun around in my head of people calling me "altered anus agitator" or "ruined rectum repairman" or "collapsed cornhole catalyst". There was no permanent damage, although my ass stung like a killer bee on Viagra the rest of the day.
Then I found out that Hennessy got some pussy that night as well. But I didn't get any! All I got was buttsecks! No pussy to make up for it for me! LIFE IS NOT FAIR!!!1!
Alas, nothing is.
User Reviews
Submitted by Refresh (user info) at 2006-09-13 09:01:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
your cheating on your korean wife with a dude named henessey? you have balls man, balls
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-09-05 11:02:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow...just...wow.
Submitted by 2004Dreaming (user info) at 2006-09-04 03:00:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you generally annoy me but that pic of the hurricane made me laugh my ass off.
lay off the uber cocksucking and post more like this.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-09-03 05:51:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Drugs....check. Women.......check. Homosexual rape.....yup, thats there too.
Pretty much everything I was looking for. Good show!
For further LSD faux pars check out.. http://www.ubersite.com/m/91681
*apologises for shameless self promotion*
Submitted by fluffy_love (user info) at 2006-09-03 04:27:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh i can!
Submitted by fluffy_love (user info) at 2006-09-03 04:27:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
aaahahahaha
id give another +2 for the nice tits if i could
Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2006-09-03 03:00:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Comic: +2
Sexuality opinion: -2
Submitted by paint_it_black (user info) at 2006-09-03 01:43:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
THATS A NOTTA COOL MAAN
THIS IS FOR THE COMIC ONLY
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2006-09-02 23:29:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SUPRISE!!!!
BUTTSECKS!!!!!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-02 21:49:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
A shitload better.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-09-02 20:54:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
auto -2 Noob invoking fluteboy
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-02 20:40:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BWAHAHAHAHHBAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHA
OMGOGGLES
BWHWHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAA
YOU GOT RAPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THIS WAS AWESOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ONE OF THE ONLY POST ON UBER THAT DOESN'T NEED MORE RAPE!
Submitted by stok (user info) at 2006-09-02 20:27:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
SO DID YOU FUCK THE GUY OR WHAT?
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2006-09-02 19:30:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-09-02 17:26:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WALLA WALLA BING BANG BALLZ
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-09-02 16:33:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am glad I grew out of the drug phase, and never once did I give up the balloon knot.
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-09-02 16:31:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
BUTTASS ANAL AIDS RECTUM CREAM FOLLICLES FUCK!
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-09-02 15:53:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 ghey acid
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2006-09-02 15:52:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ass-rapage +2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52381
More ass-rapage than you can handle. EVAR!
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-09-02 15:51:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Looterman, huh? K. Let's see this one develop.
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-09-02 15:37:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2006-09-02 15:24:03 (#)
Ranking: 1
If all it takes to make you go insane and allow another man to penetrate your anal cavity is Weed, Vodka and LSD, then YOU ARE TEH GHEY MENZ ALREADY!
----
I am not a ghey menz. I am bi though, but not bi enough to have teh ghey buttsecks. Of course, we experimented with each other back when we were twelve and we still do today, but NEVAR teh buttsecks.
Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2006-09-02 15:24:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
If all it takes to make you go insane and allow another man to penetrate your anal cavity is Weed, Vodka and LSD, then YOU ARE TEH GHEY MENZ ALREADY!