Thou Art God (795 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: smashed-beyond-all-reason suuuurrrrreuussss
Rating: 1 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Action-Reaction (View user info) at 2006-09-04 03:16:42 EDT
She was wispy like the smoke coming off of a freshly lit cigarette. Filtered through the black light, dreary, drifting into the atmosphere. She never stayed visible for more than a moment, and then it was back to nothing. Clear view kills the scenery, I need another filter. Why can't I have you forever? Catch a glimpse here and there, but you fade, fade away.
Slipping into the void, struck a note in harmony with the tunes flowing from my lips. Radiating beauty falls from the ceiling as the notes bounce around the room. Mixing with the wisps of smoke, hints of you, filling every corner. Drowning me, drowning everyone, drowning our world. Anything, anything but 40 days and 40 nights. Lacking a ship, we sit in the cool pool of water waiting for your guidance. Give us a sign; show us your defining light. Show us anything.
Hearts beating like metronomes, spinelessly spinning in circles, 180, 360, 540 degrees. Following the twists and turns of synapses firing, you're controlling our every move. Spectral beings take hospice inside the minds of the weary. Often unwilling, pressure rising on the neural front, feeding, nurturing. It's a symbiotic relationship between a living being and a ghost. Nothing withheld, they're controlling, implanting their gods will into their hosts. Then drifting away in a wisp of smoke. Everything is a wisp of smoke, there for a second, and then its gone. Everything fades away, including you, my god. Including you.
User Reviews
Submitted by Allyson (user info) at 2006-09-14 15:05:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i liked it...
almost like a poem.. almost a monologue.. it was good.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/93031
Submitted by Allyson (user info) at 2006-09-14 15:05:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i liked it...
almost like a poem.. almost a monologue.. it was good.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/93031v
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-09-14 14:52:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You get beat up people on the debate team don't you?
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-09-07 15:38:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-09-05 14:58:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
smoke rocks.
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-09-05 14:57:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-09-05 05:31:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2006-09-04 21:13:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
All I can properly do is give you +2s myself. I'm sure you'll still make it into the preliminary round.
=======
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-09-04 23:07:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2006-09-04 23:05:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
GOO SOX WOOOO
Red Sox that is
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2006-09-04 21:18:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the dicks on this post. I do this not as an administrator of DPM, but as a regular supporter.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-09-04 20:45:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Cinderblock (user info) at 2006-09-04 20:39:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-09-04 14:02:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2006-09-04 12:01:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-09-04 11:41:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-09-04 11:11:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-09-04 09:45:53 (#)
Ranking: -1
Can't say I liked this, but it wasn't horrible.
--
thats because your a tasteless poleasmoker.
=====
Calm down you little faggot. It's not my fault someone stole your stash of pills.
Fucking dolt.
__
We got more, dipshit
--
Markie baby is right. We do indeed have more.
And I stand by my comment, you are still a tasteless polesmoker.
That is all.
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2006-09-04 12:01:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-09-04 11:41:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-09-04 11:11:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-09-04 09:45:53 (#)
Ranking: -1
Can't say I liked this, but it wasn't horrible.
--
thats because your a tasteless poleasmoker.
=====
Calm down you little faggot. It's not my fault someone stole your stash of pills.
Fucking dolt.
__
We got more, dipshit
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-09-04 11:41:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-09-04 11:11:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-09-04 09:45:53 (#)
Ranking: -1
Can't say I liked this, but it wasn't horrible.
--
thats because your a tasteless poleasmoker.
=====
Calm down you little faggot. It's not my fault someone stole your stash of pills.
Fucking dolt.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-09-04 11:29:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yeah - intriguing - but just whetted my appetite.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-09-04 11:23:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
good language, not enough substance
that might be the goal, but it didn't work from my end
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-09-04 11:11:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-09-04 09:45:53 (#)
Ranking: -1
Can't say I liked this, but it wasn't horrible.
--
thats because your a tasteless poleasmoker.
easily your best piece of writing.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-09-04 09:45:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Can't say I liked this, but it wasn't horrible.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-09-04 08:37:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not just to return the compliment... this is great.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-09-04 08:24:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice descriptive style, just dont go overboard, or it'll seems like you're trying to hard. Good stuff though.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-09-04 05:47:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-04 03:37:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very well done. Descriptive almost to the point of surrealism.
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2006-09-04 03:33:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very Rimbaudian. You write like me- not so much this alter, nor even my much older user name on this site, but like me when I write in my journals. I really really liked this, I suppose if I didn't, I wouldn't bother to write.
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2006-09-04 03:18:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
By the way, I'm definitely in no way on drugs.
Absolutely not.
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2006-09-04 03:18:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
DPM PReliminary entry
http://www.ubersite.com/m/92569
I promise the real shit I do wont suck this much.