Office Bitch (582 hits)
Category: GeneralLabels: real_life_crap
Rating: 0.54 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Hourman (View user info) at 2006-09-04 07:02:18 EDT
As I have mentioned in previous posts, I have only been in the 'real world' for about one year, because university/ college jobs do not count as real work. I'm sorry it's true, if it's not a carer move or beneficial then it's probably a waste of time or necessary.
However I have been working in a pointless/ shitty/ low grade/ underpaid job for the last year at some shitty kitchen distributors in the UK. Now I come from a family, like most nowadays, that is full of politics. E.g. you don't talk to you're Grandma because she's a gossip, you don't tell Dad how much mum spends, you don't let Uncle Jim play with the kids etc.
Work politics are a million times more pedantic. Yes I do mean pedantic. Every little detail and folder can play a key part in the pathetic life of the office politician, who whilst having worked at the company, usually longer than the founder, has progressed as far as asthmatic ant carrying some heavy shopping up a steep hill on an icy day in slippers.
Let me set the scene:
Me: Office Monkey
2 Males, both of who have different tactics, 1 female, single-minded power control agenda, Boss: indifferent/ two faced/ trying to please everyone.
The office has just been re-arranged so that I have a desk and terminal. The boss has his own office. I have a desk in the corner, as do the other two males. However she has come in, on my day off because I'm the only one who fights her, and changed her whole desk around drastically reducing the 'free space'.
Now you may think 'so?' FUCKING BITCH!! The only reason she did this is because she wants to add an, 'executive extension' onto her desk to have 'meetings' on. However with the previous plan we could have had a nice size table in the middle of the room that we all could have used. The extension fucks all this up, as does the new angle she has chosen to have her desk at.
Let the politics begin.
Me: Morning...what the hell's happened here?
Office Man 1: <her name> didn't like it. So she changed it.
Me: well that's nearly all our personnel fucking space gone!
Office Man 1: Yeah well what you gonna do *generic Laugh*
Me: You could have said something!
Office man 1: Nah.
His tactic is acceptance. He pretends like he doesn't mind, doesn't act happy, but acts like it doesn't bother him at all. This guy annoys me. He's like someone who doesn't vote and then complains about the government.
Office man two just smiles the whole time occasionally giggling like a fucking child. Of course this only exasperates things as the red mist starts to cloud my vision and impair my judgement.
Office man 2 is the window licker, the retard, the joker, the goof, the clown but most of all, the imbecile we all want to punch in the kidneys and make him piss himself. His tactic is simple; stick his nose up the bosses arse so much that he can't ever do wrong. However since the boss is in a separate office he also brown noses the tyrannical bitch that has crowned herself queen of the desks.
When she swans in I glare and I say in a very calm voice
"You are completely out of line. You've cut mine and Office man 1s personnel space in half. What you have done is change a nice open plan office back into the cramped office that it was. Now because no one here will say anything to your face, I have to do it like this. A table would have been fine! There would have been no need for this if you didn't want your power trip."
She then says "I'm not on a power trip thank you very much! I would also like to remind you who you're speaking to!"
"Who? Who am I speaking to? I know I'm a lowly office monkey, but you have no real control, so don't make out like you can fire me. As far as I'm concerned you should feel guilty for ruining what was a pleasant office into a cramp cluttered claustrophobic shit hole"
"I've been working here for nine years-"
"-You're bitter! You're bitter because you're no higher than these two who have only been here one year! That's why you want the extension, because it gives you a pat on the back that says 'it hasn't all been a waste of time. Look at this extra four feet of desk you have that know one else in the office does.'"
Now I just laughed and turned around and went back to work. So from then on she drilled holes in the back of my head. However she decided to re-look at the previous office plans.
The boss comes in well after the fight and says "Was there a problem?" I wait and see what she says,
"No problem" she says "Just a voicing of a opinions".
So the boss leaves the office. Free in responsibility and with a sense of superiority where all he has is mild confusion and the power to belittle.
The bitter old lady who is resentful at the world that passed her by is shaken. I will talk to her soon and make sure she's ok.
I have done so many part time jobs and this 'people will respect me for having this' attitude is the worst. Makes people crazy.
The possibility of respect makes people unrespectable.
User Reviews
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2006-09-04 13:38:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have a friend just like number 1
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-09-04 12:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm going by the UK system. The nation who chose 'Jedi' as a religion. We could vote a Donkey in to Number 10 if we wanted to. We just chose to elect a sheep.
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-09-04 12:17:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"This guy annoys me. He's like someone who doesn't vote and then complains about the government."
I could debate that and I will. Most of your story is about not compromising, yet you feel that someone should compromise their beliefs by voting for someone who doesn't represent their beliefs? Americans are only given two choices, if you aren't represented in those two choices there is no point to vote. An independant will never win, ever.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-09-04 11:51:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
could have been interesting
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-09-04 09:50:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2006-09-04 07:38:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
No offence mate but suck it up. This is how it works in offices. Why do you think we all have ulcers?
Flapping your mouth off at every petty injustice will just make everyone hate you. The only thing that will help you get over it is by repressing it until you're a miserable, bitter asshole and in about 50 years when you're in a minor position of power you get to make up for lost time by being an office whore yourself.
Fair? Nope. Do I sound bitter? Yep.
============
Don't listen to this twerp.
There is no universal way in which offices 'work'. I can remember being on a sales call a few years back, and the client I was meeting with starting the meeting by kicking his feet up on his desk, stuffing a wad of chewing tobacco in his mouth and putting ON his sunglasses. We were indoors.
This turned into a $50,000+ account for me that I'm still seeing commissions on.
Now I don't know where you live, but office politics anywhere can be CHANGED. Why? Because people are different and our inherent, emotional nature just BEGS for policy and procedure change when the need for it becomes severe enough.
Good post.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-09-04 08:30:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Call her a nazi and deposit items on said table every time you pass; staples, paper, faeces, left over sandwiches etc
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-09-04 08:18:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Is she fit? If so, try and compromise - she can have the extra desk space in exchange for say, a blow job or a tit wank every monday morning.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-09-04 08:18:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2006-09-04 07:38:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
No offence mate but suck it up. This is how it works in offices. Why do you think we all have ulcers?
Flapping your mouth off at every petty injustice will just make everyone hate you. The only thing that will help you get over it is by repressing it until you're a miserable, bitter asshole and in about 50 years when you're in a minor position of power you get to make up for lost time by being an office whore yourself.
Fair? Nope. Do I sound bitter? Yep.
-----------------
Since I only have a 6 month contract there's no need to suck it up. Petty injustices are the worst injustices. A big reason is obvious to everyone, but a small problem that you allow someone to get away with makes them feel like they can get away with more.
Flapping my mouth? Firstly I would like to point out that standing up for your own space and not allowing people to encroach on your designated area is a human right if anything.
Repressing it is retarded. Like you said 'miserable and bitter'. No one 'wants' to be miserable, we only perpetuate the myth that it's cool to be an angsty old man. However I will admit I cant wait to hit kids with my walking stick, but that's a perk not a lifestyle choice.
I would also like to point out something amusing which has become more evident over the past few years;
The older people get the less they seem to remember their own plights as a younger person. They seem to forget that learning new things or finding out about social wrongs they previously didn't know about is all a part of growing up, and whilst doesn't deserve a charity deserves the recognition that it's probably an injustice that they themselves suffered at some point in time.
However now they are older and wiser they alter, subconiously, their past to make themselves morally able to make statements such as the above with out being hypocritical.
However as in some of my other posts I have come under flack for being to young and not already knowing everything.
Probably another part of life i should have already learnt from my infinitly more superior elders!
Good points though.
And what the fuck sort of rape is that?!
Oh and this point fucking this women over the desk would be as useful as throwing a hot dog down a hallway.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-09-04 08:13:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
http://gabbly.com/www.ubersite.com
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2006-09-04 08:06:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-09-04 07:47:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh.
Needs more lojo-style rape...
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-09-04 07:46:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
you need to bend that bitch over her 4 feet of extra desk and give her some anal lovin'
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2006-09-04 07:38:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No offence mate but suck it up. This is how it works in offices. Why do you think we all have ulcers?
Flapping your mouth off at every petty injustice will just make everyone hate you. The only thing that will help you get over it is by repressing it until you're a miserable, bitter asshole and in about 50 years when you're in a minor position of power you get to make up for lost time by being an office whore yourself.
Fair? Nope. Do I sound bitter? Yep.