Saving the World, Sittin' on My Couch (977 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.44 on 54 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ghola (View user info) at 2006-09-06 00:00:29 EDT
These days everyone has to have a cause. Save this, do that, the world is ending and you bitches gotta help. But hell, I'm barely cutting it, just going to class, working and writing a one page response to an article on literacy.
Time management. Maybe that's my problem. Maybe I'll lobby for better time management. But then all the time I spend researching the subject and making those flashy picket signs is time I should have been doing Latin homework, washing the dishes and vacuuming the living room floor.
Okay, maybe I don't have time for a cause. Does that mean I'm lazy? Does that mean I don't care? Am I a horrible person?
Save the world! Plant a tree! Stop over population! Spay and neuter your pets! Do these people want to pay my power bill? If they do, maybe I could quit my job and muck knee deep through the rainforest and protect tree frogs. Wonderful shit, really.
Some of these people work hard. They take classes, work two jobs and still have time to protect minorities. I've thought long and hard about how they accomplish all this. They're zombies. That's really the only reasonable explanation. They don't need food or sleep or wine or sex or anything that normal human beings need. Except brains and I'm not sure they even have time to eat those brains.
So that's not the solution. The only other option: these people aren't real. They're a myth or even a conspiracy created by the government. What the hell? The government wants me to save the world? What the fuck is the government doing? Shouldn't that be their job? Noooooooo--- they're too busy engineering do-gooder zombie people that will probably eat my brains if I don't save the aborted fetuses.
Damn fetuses. I don't give a shit and I'm going to sleep. That will probably do the world more good anyway. I won't get the way of these modern day pseudo-jesus Nazis while they're fighting for their causes.
User Reviews
Submitted by carbon (user info) at 2007-07-28 19:46:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by gravitas (user info) at 2006-09-07 00:50:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i did love this. especially the part about not having time to eat brains. i like zombies.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-09-06 21:19:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-09-06 21:02:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Picture was awesome. Who is that artist?
Enjoyable musings... except of course there is no "us" and "them". WE are the government, after all.
Also these days NOT being part of the problem is a pretty fucking outstanding accomplishment. So good on ya.
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2006-09-06 20:49:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Why don't you save the world by sitting on my face.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-09-06 20:38:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
they're all you, aren't they bubba?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-06 20:25:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So. Certain wannabe retards are giving you shit on your post. Imagine that.
Who are they? Not I, said the dormouse. :)
Submitted by LeaderOfMen (user info) at 2006-09-06 18:58:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-09-06 14:07:56 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-09-06 12:21:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
You're the one who can't make peace with the atrocities you perceive your god allowing to happening on this planet.
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The only 'atrocities' I see are those perpetrated by a creature with free will upon himself.
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God can be interpreted as merciless and no friend to man to people who take the obstructions of moral law at face value thinking there is no consequence to their actions, and they are no way accountable for breaking the absolute.
"You find out more about a man from his conversation, than by looking at the house he has built."
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-09-06 15:16:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, you provoked one overcaffeinated, ridiculously immature over-reaction from the peanut gallery, so you don't have to give up hope of changing the world yet...
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-09-06 15:07:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Did you think about rehashing what you've written here and turning it in?
If I student gave me this in response to that assignment, I'd love it. Then again, I'm a bit strange.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-09-06 15:00:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-09-06 14:55:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
I understand the sentiment, however, I can tell you from experience that the vast majority of people do not volunteer their time. I work at a college and it is a pain in the ass to get students or alumni to volunteer for anything. Volunteers are either super rich (their guilt drives them to volunteer) or super motivated (their passion is the drive).
I wouldn't feel guilty about not wanting to get involved. You're normal.
-----
I'm taking a writing and culture class this semester. We're supposed to write about causes we care about. The teacher called on me and I stuttered and said, "um, people watch too much tv?"
The guy sitting next to me walks everywhere, doesn't wear shoes and had on some sort of anti-driving tshirt. It was a cool tshirt.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-09-06 14:55:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I understand the sentiment, however, I can tell you from experience that the vast majority of people do not volunteer their time. I work at a college and it is a pain in the ass to get students or alumni to volunteer for anything. Volunteers are either super rich (their guilt drives them to volunteer) or super motivated (their passion is the drive).
I wouldn't feel guilty about not wanting to get involved. You're normal.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2006-09-06 14:52:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ha, I spent the last year working for a non-profit teaching poor kids to read after graduating high school. I am a fucking saint!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-09-06 14:22:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
KK, you called Circe a stupid cunt?!
Day-um! :-0
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-09-06 14:15:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2006-09-06 12:53:56 (#)
Ranking: -1
You wouldn't have to pay your power bill if you moved to the rain forest...unless you left a light on or something.
----
That is a splendid idea.
Plus I wanna lick one of those drug frogs. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-09-06 14:07:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-09-06 12:21:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
You're the one who can't make peace with the atrocities you perceive your god allowing to happening on this planet.
----------------------
The only 'atrocities' I see are those perpetrated by a creature with free will upon himself.
Submitted by whysenheimer (user info) at 2006-09-06 12:59:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
The picture is cool but "I've seen better" is pretty much the perfect rating for this.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2006-09-06 12:53:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You wouldn't have to pay your power bill if you moved to the rain forest...unless you left a light on or something.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-09-06 12:42:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-09-06 12:21:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
I am sticking up for Ghola. 1) she's my buddy, and 2) I actually BELIEVED in what she said in this post.
________
Have no problem with you sticking up for your friends.. hell, I do it... but I do feel it wasn't necessary to resort to personal attacks on me when all I commented on was this post. I never realised we had a problem.
That's all.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-09-06 12:39:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ETS can't even ackowledge that he needs a bath, much less provide the Uber populi with a "list of his faults".
You won't be seeing that challenge answered, that's for sure.
Personally, I don't give a great fuck about EITHER of your "faults".
I'm just glad I have none.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-09-06 12:31:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-09-06 11:59:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
Just what the fuck are you gonna do, you fucking goth/emo poser motherfucker? Paint my nails black? Shave my head on one side?
Your anger will get you nowhere but going 'round in a circle. I hope it makes you fucking puke.
You know the difference between me and you? I acknowledge my faults while you deny there is such a thing as 'fault' to excuse yourself.
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Oh. My. God. I know YOU of all people did not just say that. You must be joking.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-09-06 12:21:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-09-06 11:59:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-09-06 02:51:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
2 - ETS, you are quickly becoming the someone I truly want to hurt in the most brutal ways possible. And trust me, you deranged little child, you have absolutley no concept of real visciousness. So you sit there and continue to babble your nonsense and pray to your imaginary friend in the sky - In the end, you'll be cowering in a hole if the end comes. I begin to wish you nothing but suffering...
-----------------------
Just what the fuck are you gonna do, you fucking goth/emo poser motherfucker? Paint my nails black? Shave my head on one side?
Your anger will get you nowhere but going 'round in a circle. I hope it makes you fucking puke.
You know the difference between me and you? I acknowledge my faults while you deny there is such a thing as 'fault' to excuse yourself.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Oh, this is hysterical...
Exactly at what point did you decide I was at all goth and/or emo? Beacuse I have a few piercings? Sorry to tell you, I've had those WAY before the term "emo" even existed. Um, I own a number of black tee-shirts, but I own just as many colored one. Right now I have on a pleasant gray three button one. And Khaki shorts!!!
Anger? YOU of all people are talking to me about controlling my anger? And when have you EVER spoken on one of your faults? Shit boy, I'll do a whole post tomorrow on my faults if it'll make you feel better. I dare you to do the same. I promise, sometime between 10am - 12pm EST I'll post it... let's see you do the same.
And as for your religious blathering, hate to break the news to you, but I'm quite happy and content in my "spirituality." You're the one who can't make peace with the atrocities you perceive your god allowing to happening on this planet. Oh, and yeah - I am sticking up for Ghola. 1) she's my buddy, and 2) I actually BELIEVED in what she said in this post.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-09-06 12:14:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"You know the difference between me and you? I acknowledge my faults "
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
wheeeew. you slay me, ets, you really do.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-09-06 11:59:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-09-06 02:51:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
2 - ETS, you are quickly becoming the someone I truly want to hurt in the most brutal ways possible. And trust me, you deranged little child, you have absolutley no concept of real visciousness. So you sit there and continue to babble your nonsense and pray to your imaginary friend in the sky - In the end, you'll be cowering in a hole if the end comes. I begin to wish you nothing but suffering...
-----------------------
Just what the fuck are you gonna do, you fucking goth/emo poser motherfucker? Paint my nails black? Shave my head on one side?
I don't know suffering? What the fuck do YOU know about suffering except through your imaginary mental disorder that makes you think you have some kind of writing talent? What kind of 'power' do you have except that which exists in your own head when you put in your overgauged earrings and strut about in your 'dark', cliche threads trying to look mysterious and different?
Dude, you are fucking typical. You ARE a cliche.
What the hell is your hangup with religion anyway? You bring that up everytime I say anything against you or one of your little clique, yet, I've always abhored organized religion. So what's your fucking angle? I don't get it.
Oh, nevermind...I get it...this is obviously leftover teenage angst. You're pissed off that God didn't coddle and pamper your typical ass from birth, showing you the way and making everything easy for you. You denounce your creator because you think the dark side makes you sexy and mysterious for little girls like our Ghola here, when in reality, it just puts your spiritual immaturity on display for all to see.
Your anger will get you nowhere but going 'round in a circle. I hope it makes you fucking puke.
You know the difference between me and you? I acknowledge my faults while you deny there is such a thing as 'fault' to excuse yourself.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-09-06 11:03:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-09-06 07:12:44 (#)
Ranking: -2
for someone who likes to be so critical of everyone else's posts...this was crap.
-----
I think everyone is just super.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-09-06 10:04:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-09-06 04:36:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus God Kaos, have a little dignity please, a little decorum.
This post was spectacularly mediocre.
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Awww, did I offend your delicate sensibilities Berty?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-09-06 10:01:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you could save even more of the world by sitting on my face, instead.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-06 09:58:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm sorry hun you lost me.
And what Kaos said.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-09-06 07:40:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/82637
I would say that apathy creeps up on you as you age.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-09-06 07:34:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It's all about multitasking, wifey.
Listen to the audio version of the book you're supposed to read for class while painting a house for Habitat for Humanity.
Participate in the e-mail tasks assigned by your charities/political groups of choice while drinking wine.
Protest for PETA while eating that hotdog.
Or my favorite- Boycott Walmart by doing nothing but not going.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2006-09-06 07:20:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This post should have been titled "This Post Will Somehow Put Sand in Everyone's Vagina Just Before They Reply". Meh. +1 for that I guess.
P.S. The word "vagina" has been used far too many times in the reviews for this post.
Vagina.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-09-06 07:12:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
for someone who likes to be so critical of everyone else's posts...this was crap.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-09-06 07:01:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha, kaos-king to the rescue for the sweet, precious Internet Vagina.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-09-06 06:20:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Saeki (user info) at 2006-09-06 00:04:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
For some reason, this post reminds of text on shirt I once today. "Procrastinators unite!.....Tomorrow"
I found this hilarious.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-09-06 06:09:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Didn't care for the post, but I liked the picture.
-Dave
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2006-09-06 05:58:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Warranting a very solid Double-you-tee-Eff, Mait?
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-09-06 04:49:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Stupid cunt"?
Damn.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-09-06 04:40:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I get mad at people who waste paper on stupid things, like work.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-09-06 04:38:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think he needs to wash out his vagina a litte.
I mean, I love him to death but jesus christ.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-09-06 04:36:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus God Kaos, have a little dignity please, a little decorum.
This post was spectacularly mediocre.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-09-06 04:05:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-09-06 00:09:24 (#)
Ranking: -1
You've got time to hang out here.
If you don't want to "have a cause", then don't, but don't say it's because you don't have time.
Your posts are just getting more bloggish, with fewer redeeming qualities.
--------------------
in other words, she is becoming more and more like me.
I knew there was a reason I started to like her work.
COME TO BUTTHEAD.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-09-06 02:51:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-09-06 00:44:37 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-09-06 00:09:24 (#)
Ranking: -1
You've got time to hang out here.
If you don't want to "have a cause", then don't, but don't say it's because you don't have time.
Your posts are just getting more bloggish, with fewer redeeming qualities.
--------------------
I knew there was a reason I still loved Lyn.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
1 - Circe, you stupid cunt, Ghola is on Uber while she's at work most of the time... just like eveyone else on this site. I'm so glad you, however, have the time to bitch and complain about how "bloggy" someone's post may be. It's not eaxctly like anyone on this shit site is trying to save the world... whoops!
2 - ETS, you are quickly becoming the someone I truly want to hurt in the most brutal ways possible. And trust me, you deranged little child, you have absolutley no concept of real visciousness. So you sit there and continue to babble your nonsense and pray to your imaginary friend in the sky - In the end, you'll be cowering in a hole if the end comes. I begin to wish you nothing but suffering...
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-09-06 02:05:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
my cause is pro marijuana
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-09-06 00:49:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
not really
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-09-06 00:49:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
your life sounds hard.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-09-06 00:44:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-09-06 00:09:24 (#)
Ranking: -1
You've got time to hang out here.
If you don't want to "have a cause", then don't, but don't say it's because you don't have time.
Your posts are just getting more bloggish, with fewer redeeming qualities.
--------------------
I knew there was a reason I still loved Lyn.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-09-06 00:22:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ps: most heated
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-09-06 00:22:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
argh i stilllhave work to do idn im on uber
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-09-06 00:19:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Now this post has been given all 5 ratings.
I am often too lazy to take up causes, too. I suspect this is very selfish of me.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-06 00:19:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're either very tired or zoned out on Latin. You have done
much better. . . :)
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-09-06 00:16:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You could start saving the world by never posting shit like this again.
Submitted by Feety (user info) at 2006-09-06 00:10:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
damn fetuses, huh?
*kicks*
*pouts*
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-09-06 00:09:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You've got time to hang out here.
If you don't want to "have a cause", then don't, but don't say it's because you don't have time.
Your posts are just getting more bloggish, with fewer redeeming qualities.
Submitted by Saeki (user info) at 2006-09-06 00:04:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For some reason, this post reminds of text on shirt I once today. "Procrastinators unite!.....Tomorrow"