Middle of Nowhere (907 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: one-part_stories
Rating: 1.86 on 33 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Stagger Lee (View user info) at 2006-09-06 03:24:31 EDT
Submitted as a contest entry with a provided title and a 550 word limit on the other site. I haven't posted much lately so I thought I'd post it here too.
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This is the same shit they always pull, really. I don't like it; I fucking hate it, as a matter of fact. Just when you think they might actually have some regular guys running this thing, some shitheel desk-jockey pulls a paper switch somewhere and throws you out into the desert.
It's real wasteland country out here. I'm assigned to an outpost on the edge of town, one of approximately six working businesses for what feels like five hundred goddamn desolate miles.
Currently I'm sitting in the shade just outside the gas station, which is probably the most thriving venture in this hole. It's run by a young pushing middle-aged bastard named Sonny who has a negligible amount of teeth left in his head. He appears to be a special breed here: he's employed. Hell, a gas station attendant is practically a doctor around here. The gas station doubles as a hangout for a bunch of folks who congregate to speculate on any matter they see fit. Sonny is accorded the kind of respect normally reserved for visiting diplomats from other countries with the bomb.
Sonny himself is absent at this time, and the other old pricks are probably sleeping away the afternoon heat. Time ticks on and the shadows lengthen, and I'm nearly asleep in the sun. The thought of becoming one of the toothless folk that frequent this place and spew their opinions forth as fact into the sky startles me awake, and I resolve to clear my head with a walk around the lot.
As I rise from my chair in front of the door, lo and behold, Sonny returns. He comes trotting around the corner and into the dusty driveway of the station, a grin showing off all his gums plastered on his face. The reason for his glee is soon apparent; he holds up a dirty glass jar containing a large scorpion.
"Look what I got, Mr Jackson," he declaims, advancing upon me and thrusting the repellent thing towards my face. "My brother said they was breeding out on Holt Street, and they was." The creature slaps its tail against the glass. "Ain't she a beauty?"
I decline comment.
"I'm gonna grab a boy, too," Sonny declares, "And I'm gonna mate 'em. I'll start a collection, Mr Jackson, you mark my words. People'll come for miles to see Sonny's Scorpion Farm. Whaddya think?
I stare at him. At his open, trusting face, filled with the confidence, nay, the fucking surety of his success. At the wide eyes, the largely toothless mouth and the jar in his hand. I think of all the things I could tell him. That it didn't matter how sure he was. That it sure as hell wasn't going to work out. That what he had just told me was a perfectly summed up microcosm of my failures and all the failures that had been experienced by all mankind.
I don't tell him any of those things. Instead I say, "Sounds swell, Sonny," and I smile. "You reckon you could run inside and grab me a Coke?"
He nods his head, twice, quickly, and he grins an even wider grin. "Sure thing," he says, and bolts into the store.
I sit back down and decide it wasn't worth it anyway.
User Reviews
Submitted by WatchMyStep (user info) at 2006-10-21 00:21:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-09-07 04:52:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks guys. I entered UM4, don't know if I got in. Probably not.
Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-09-07 01:08:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stagger Lee +2 it now seems. You do in 500 words what I need to do in 2,000. You in UM4? I'm too busy with school to deal with something serious, but I'm thinking of trying to start something of my own. Whatever. Keep it up. I'm drunk.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-06 21:35:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oi, mate, I liked this shite.
You live in sidnay? Cool.
Great story. . .
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-09-06 21:34:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good, but why not beef it up a little since the only limit here is the attention span of the readers on ubersite?
Oh.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-09-06 21:24:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
could've called it: Red State
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-09-06 21:04:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bundaberg: +1 is a high 'meh', Cheers.
whysenheimer: At least you liked something about it, thanks.
sideshow, Coyote, TigerLilly, Bob: Thank you.
MyTee: It's good to post. I hope to do it more often than I have been. Cheers.
Submitted by Bundaberg (user info) at 2006-09-06 17:50:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Meh
Submitted by whysenheimer (user info) at 2006-09-06 17:15:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Your style is nice but the story was nothing special.
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2006-09-06 17:08:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-09-06 15:18:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This kind of sums up my mood today... nicely done!
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2006-09-06 15:03:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice Work.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-09-06 13:54:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really liked this. Short and sweet. Well done.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-09-06 13:12:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this. Glad to see your posting again too.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-09-06 11:40:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Self +2.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-09-06 11:39:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-09-06 11:08:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
are you a manc?
----
I'm half-manc. My dad's from there. I live in Sydney.
I got to visit Old Trafford this year. It was beautiful.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-09-06 11:29:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Woot
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-09-06 11:08:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
are you a manc?
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-09-06 10:50:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-09-06 09:59:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks, guys.
Here's to stuffing Tottenham this weekend.
==========
No steady on sqiure !!!
-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2--2-2-2-2-2-2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-09-06 09:59:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks, guys.
Here's to stuffing Tottenham this weekend.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-09-06 09:29:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was good.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-09-06 09:14:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-09-06 09:02:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
BACK IN BLACK!
-----------
HIT THE SACK!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-09-06 09:02:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BACK IN BLACK!
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-09-06 08:51:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good.
But ... an edge is missing here. Something is very needed. Can't say what.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-09-06 07:36:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sting.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-09-06 07:33:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
kebab
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2006-09-06 07:28:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn fine.
Damn fine indeed.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-09-06 04:58:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I haven't been writing that much lately, but I hope that will change. I've still been rating, though.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-09-06 04:17:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now that someone mentions it, you have been gone a long time SL.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-09-06 04:10:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where the hell have you been? we looked down the back of the sofa and everything.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-09-06 03:51:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Silence! You and your blank post can get knotted!
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-09-06 03:47:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I shit better work than this.
GO HANG YOURSELF!
Nah, it wasnt bad.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-09-06 03:41:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Come on, people, it's got swearing and everything.