Some aliens do have 'em (446 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.33 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Heavyfoot (View user info) at 2006-09-06 10:06:09 EDT
It's been a while and I finally gave in. It's nice to see the old faces still around. Anyways I was bored last night and started messing about with a new idea.
They say if walls had ears they'd have some real stories to tell. Obviously not many people have realised that walls would also have to have mouths to in fact tell those stories. What a lot of people also haven't realised is that walls do in fact, have ears. Not in the literal human sense (to the great relief of a lot of plasterers, but in a nevertheless very real sense. Walls have an ability that most inanimate objects don't and that's the ability to absorb, remember and in some rare occasions react according to events in history. Even separate bricks (assuming they were at some point part of a wall) have this ability.
A building in itself has the ability to remember, but only in the visual sense, much like a painting that's been worked on over and over again. Those older versions still lay under the surface paint like unaccepted masterpieces in their own right. Sometimes it's obvious that a painting was at some point different. In the same way you can see a building was at one point used for something else. Most people (especially English people) will have seen houses that at some time or another have been pubs and quite possibly shed a tear.
But walls. Walls have a consciousness all of their own.
This story starts (and ends) between four walls that have remembered enough to send a human being straight through the jungle of crazy and into that peaceful steaming swamp of pure and unadulterated insanity. Four walls belonging to a house in a small suburb just out of the main cluster bomb of high rise towers, factories and countless Starmuck's coffee shops belonging to an English city known as Little Lamesham
But for now things were quiet. That is in the sense that nothing out of the parameters of what most humans would deem "ordinary" seemed to be happening. However in the literal sense the quiet had been broken a few seconds earlier.
A clock was sounding a strident, viscous and vicious alarm. The man who it was apparently supposed to be waking up was already halfway out of the door of the room. He turned on his heel and almost goose stepped over to the clock, checking his wrist watch as he pushed firmly and efficiently down on the stop button.
"Damn it, still out." He muttered. He walked to the door once more, turned to the right and took a quick check in the stand alone mirror that stood alone in the corner nearest the door. He quickly did a mental check of his appearance, preened one hair into place, nodded to himself and made his way out of the door.
Next door another alarm was sounding. This one however, was the kind of alarm that was less of a useful device serving a purpose and more of a toy. It was a crude affair bought from a shop that suited a name like "Gary's discounts" or something similar. It depicted an animal that could only be best described as a dog, mounting what seemed to be another dog. It's face burdened with a grin that would best suit a clown. It's alarm (if that's what it could in fact be called) was the appropriate panting, whining and barking of two canines locked in mid coital enjoyment.
A hand struck the clock with a hard backhanded swing which knocked it clean off the dirty bedside table that it adorned and straight into the adjacent wall.
"Bug'rit!" Cursed a voice from somewhere under the Star Wars duvet that graced a bed propped up at one corner with what after close inspection would be discovered to be study guides and old comic books. The duvet threw itself off the stricken figure underneath and landed neatly over the top of the fallen clock. The figure made a pained swinging motion, righting himself in one go. The figure in question was Randal Flotsam, a twenty year old second year student at City College. His genetic make up was one of your typical college student. Greasy unkempt and in this case, dirty blonde hair, two deep dark bags complimented nicely by a pair of bloodshot eyes and the kind of condition to his skin you'd expect to find in a lepers armpit.
Randal allowed himself to move enough to reach down and pick up a pair of torn and faded jeans which (without removing himself from the bed) he managed to pull into the correct position for buttoning. He then grabbed the nearest tee shirt to his other hand which just happened to be a beige piece with the words "If ur redin ths u spnd 2 much tyme on ur fone" emblazoned in green. He brought the tee shirt up to his face, took one giant huff, recoiled in horror, sprayed it with some nearby deodorant and then proceeded to pull it over his malnourished frame. His shoes were quickly filled by his feet on his way out of the door and one arm came back to retrieve his rucksack from a peg on the back of the same door before it slammed shut.
He took his stairs two at a time except the last 4 which were taken on his rear end.
"No time for breakfast, Mum I'm late again!" And he was gone.
Outside his house he happened to see his next door neighbour on his way to his car. He looked his Germanic street mate up and down and rolled his eyes before the sound of a car horn broke his train of thought and he ran to a beaten up ford fiesta waiting at the side of the road. He jumped into the passenger side and greeted his waiting friend with a nod.
"You know," Randal said "I could've sworn his legs weren't moving when he was walking to his car."
"You need to get more sleep, Mate. It's fucking with your mind."
"And I'm damned sure most people don't have three nostrils"
More to come soon if it looks like people will enjoy it.
If not it's been nice seeing you posting still.
User Reviews
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-09-07 09:12:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's not that long. But it is quite good.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-09-06 16:50:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
do have what?
peeners?
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2006-09-06 14:07:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
-ad it you bastards!
Damn laptop keyboard....
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2006-09-06 14:06:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's my first post in an year and a half. Re
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-09-06 12:42:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Pretty good.
I would read part 2.
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-09-06 11:47:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2006-09-06 11:42:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Whoo 84 hits nice to see people still pay attention on this site heh.
Cheers for the comments. I guess I'm going to hang around for a while!
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-09-06 11:34:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
interesting
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-09-06 10:35:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice to see some longer writing with a lighter tone than most of the serious stuff round here.
I don't reckon Ubers attention span has dropped that much with all the 'writers' we have now.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-09-06 10:30:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
some nice lines in there timmah old sprout.
the collective attention span of uber is even shorter than it used to be though.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-09-06 10:13:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dragged a bit, but had some great lines.
"that peaceful steaming swamp of pure and unadulterated insanity."
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2006-09-06 10:10:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice to see you shlongy.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-09-06 10:08:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
timmah