Engrish Lesson (878 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.96 on 60 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by saeki (View user info) at 2006-09-07 20:02:42 EDT
First of all, Korean vowels ("ah", "yah", "uh", "yuh", "oh", "yoh", "oo", "yu", "eh", and "ee") sound very similar to Spanish vowels. Notice in movies like Ichi the Killer, Old Boy, or Battle Royale one or two characters will horribly emulate the English slang, "Yo" to get someone's attention.
Also notice that I spelled it with an h above; its deliberately written like that in language textbooks because the translator intended for it to be pronounced with a very soft "oh" sound. And speaking of pronunciation, not every English word that terminates in a consonant ends with a "u" or "eh" sound in Engrish.
The words that I have the most trouble pronouncing is "world" and "verve." The first half of world is easy. The "wuh" part of it exists in Korean and is a combination of the vowels, "oo" and "uh." I know what the last half sounds like, but it won't come out right; I end up saying "wuldeh." Verve is one hell of a word for a FOB. There is no "v" sound in Korean so we have to resort to "b," hence my pronunciation: "berbeh" or "verbeh" because I can almost pronounce the first v.
Note that I lied and put many "eh"s in the previous words. Its true that the sound is there, but its so subtle that only someone with knowledge of Korean/Asian grammar would find it proper to write it out that way.
For example the word "desu" in Japanese seems to be popular around here. The "u" is not pronounced. Say "des" instead and you'll find that very subtle "eh" or "u" sound as you finish the "s" sound. That precise noise is amplified when you slur desu together with other words.
The next topic will be about names. I've recently received an English name but I'll only reveal my last name, which would be Lee in this language. Its actually "ee" in Korean. I guess back when the first Korean immigrated to America, the immigration officer thought "Mr. E" seemed ridiculous. Also, Park sounds more like Bak (soft a), Choi sounds like Cho (soft o), and Kim sounds likes Gim.
Now in the three major Asian languages, the last name is designated first and the first name second. Thats really the only similarity between them. Japanese names, in my opinion, are way cooler than both Korean and Chinese names. You probably think so too. Which would you rather take: Ee Sang-won, Ibaraki Shira, or Zhang Huan-Yue?
There is a lot more I could get into, but right now, I don't know how to express them properly.
By the way, this is probably last post dealing with Korea/Asians that I will make. I can't think of any way to write these in a story-like format. Besides, continuing to write these gimmicky posts is lame and so, I will begin submitting stories with more universal theme.
User Reviews
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2006-09-12 11:53:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Leave. Leave now. There is nothing good about Ubersite.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-09-09 06:40:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"thanks to asian porn i know now the japanese words for "More" "oh god yes" "fuck me hard" and "get that tentacle out of my ass"
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-09-08 22:30:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That's all nice and everything but can you kung-foo fuck?
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2006-09-08 15:58:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You've done a marvelous job so far. Keep it up.
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-09-08 15:41:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This may be my favorite noob
Submitted by Saeki (user info) at 2006-09-08 13:53:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-09-08 11:47:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yo-po-say-oh
Phonetic (half assed) spelling (attempt) of course
---
You say that when you pick up the phone.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-09-08 12:16:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/92772
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-09-08 11:59:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I took four years of Mandarin in college, and can now ask directions to the bathroom, order a fish, and explain that I am an evil panda that eats children. Oh, and you know Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon? Yeah, I could translate like three words in that movie. Something like "Hey look, it's some guy with a sword!"
I realize this is mostly unrelated to your user's guide here, but just thought I'd share.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-09-08 11:47:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yo-po-say-oh
Phonetic (half assed) spelling (attempt) of course
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-09-08 11:14:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-08 00:13:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-09-07 23:53:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-09-07 22:24:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-09-07 22:11:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-09-07 21:01:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope you're real and I hope you stick around.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-09-08 09:54:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Better than those towel heads who don't even try......I'm looking at you Bradford...ya bunch of cunts
Submitted by Saeki (user info) at 2006-09-08 09:24:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-09-08 05:43:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
If it means anything to you, I am convinced that you are a real person.
Also that you are a fob, which makes the errors in the post I did not read excusable.
Also that I am going to go pour myself a bowl of Raisin Bran, then read Robert Greene and fall asleep.
+2 because you remind me of my Korean friend Seho who, after seven years in this country, still WRITES in a heavy accent.
---
This isn't directed at you, but I write with a heavy accent when I'm lazy, which is why there is difference between my introduction entry and this one.
Submitted by PokeyMen (user info) at 2006-09-08 09:02:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like you.
Submitted by phauna (user info) at 2006-09-08 06:45:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This should be a konglish lesson. Engrish is japanese english. Chinglish is chinese english. Singlish is singapore english.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2006-09-08 06:30:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Engrish resson would have been funny.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-09-08 05:43:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If it means anything to you, I am convinced that you are a real person.
Also that you are a fob, which makes the errors in the post I did not read excusable.
Also that I am going to go pour myself a bowl of Raisin Bran, then read Robert Greene and fall asleep.
+2 because you remind me of my Korean friend Seho who, after seven years in this country, still WRITES in a heavy accent.
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2006-09-08 01:03:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That should have been www.opera.com
opera.org is something else.
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2006-09-08 01:02:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
stuff that may help....
Opera has some plugins that can pull unicode charecters from plain text (most of you probaly see something like "% # [some numbers]" or "% $ [some numbers]" and opera can decypher it, sometimes, with limited success)
(www.opera.org)
Firefox had a plugin but it was never updated for compatability past v0.9, being the current version is 1.5, the plugin is no longer compatiable, nor can I find it online. it may be out there somewhere though.
(www.mozilla.com/firefox/central)
If youre using Internet Explorer, youre on your own. I stopped using IE years ago.
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2006-09-08 00:55:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Bob Dole has attempted to learn some Korean, as well as simple kanji, but more often than not, 나는 백치같이 쓴다
(your mileage with the special charecter set may vary depending on operating system and browser)
Submitted by Saeki (user info) at 2006-09-08 00:13:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-07 23:24:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
Saeki, you are sharp enough to realize a pile of shit when you see one,
so recognize this. It's way past my bedtime, as I am an old fuck.
Keep up the bad shit. :)
---
I may have overreacted. :|
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-08 00:13:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-09-07 23:53:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-09-07 22:24:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-09-07 22:11:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-09-07 21:01:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope you're real and I hope you stick around.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-09-07 23:53:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-09-07 22:24:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-09-07 22:11:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-09-07 21:01:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope you're real and I hope you stick around.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-07 23:24:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Saeki, you are sharp enough to realize a pile of shit when you see one,
so recognize this. It's way past my bedtime, as I am an old fuck.
Keep up the bad shit. :)
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-07 23:10:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"-2 retaliete"
*******
Right. That is the epitome of Engrish. :)
Keep on, dipshit. . . . .
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-07 22:49:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This website embraces and encourages excess.
Submitted by Saeki (user info) at 2006-09-07 22:48:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-07 22:43:54 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Saeki (user info) at 2006-09-07 22:37:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
I will continue posting. I don't care if anyone continues negatively rate me or doubt my identity. I'm going to continue writing as I have but in a different format. As I've said, I've been here for pretty much long time and I know just as much as anyone who the alters are. If you still I'm an alter, I think I'm the most convincing one to post on ubersite.
_____
Oh, yeah, Joe. You continue negatively late me. I continue Wliting in diffelent folmat.
GET A FUCKING CLUE, MOLON!!! NO ONE BELIEVES YOUL SHIT!!!!!
---
That was childish. You even used Engrish. I've read your work before and I really enjoyed it. I'm going to rate your posts for their CONTENT, and won't "-2 retaliete" you if thats what your trying make me do.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-07 22:43:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Saeki (user info) at 2006-09-07 22:37:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
I will continue posting. I don't care if anyone continues negatively rate me or doubt my identity. I'm going to continue writing as I have but in a different format. As I've said, I've been here for pretty much long time and I know just as much as anyone who the alters are. If you still I'm an alter, I think I'm the most convincing one to post on ubersite.
_____
Oh, yeah, Joe. You continue negatively late me. I continue Wliting in diffelent folmat.
GET A FUCKING CLUE, MOLON!!! NO ONE BELIEVES YOUL SHIT!!!!!
Submitted by Saeki (user info) at 2006-09-07 22:42:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Benevolent Asian Uber All-Father" is excessive, Orgasmatron.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-09-07 22:42:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fuck off
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-07 22:39:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
subarashii chin chin mono
kintama no kame aru
sore no oto wa SARUBOBO
He! Ninja ga imasu
Hey hey let's go, kenka suru
Taisetsu na mono protect my balls
Boku ga warui so let's fighting
Let's fighting love
Let's fighting love
Kono uta chotto baka
Wake wakaranai
Eigo ga mechakucha
Daijoubu we do it all the time
Hey hey let's go, kenka suru
Taisetsu na mono protect my balls
Boku ga warui so let's fighting
Let's fighting love
Let's fighting love
Submitted by Saeki (user info) at 2006-09-07 22:37:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I will continue posting. I don't care if anyone continues negatively rate me or doubt my identity. I'm going to continue writing as I have but in a different format. As I've said, I've been here for pretty much long time and I know just as much as anyone who the alters are. If you still I'm an alter, I think I'm the most convincing one to post on ubersite.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-09-07 22:24:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-09-07 22:11:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-09-07 21:01:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope you're real and I hope you stick around.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-09-07 22:15:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bidoshee! AESH!!!!!!!
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-09-07 22:11:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-09-07 21:01:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope you're real and I hope you stick around.
Submitted by Saeki (user info) at 2006-09-07 21:56:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-07 21:48:41 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Saeki (user info) at 2006-09-07 21:39:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2006-09-06 17:48:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
If you're real, then do whatever the fuck you want, but there are few rules.
1. Everything has to be in ENGRISH. EVERYTHING.
2. You have to remind us that your the asian guy every once in a while, and we'll have fun with that.
3. Post pictures of naked asian chicks. It's mandatory.
Now that you know some of the basics, have fun, and don't fuck up.
---
I was playing along with first "rule." Bubba, if you didn't notice or even read my post, I never once typed in "Engrish" and instead tried to make it informative.
_________________________________________
Right. Your first post was in broken English, as though you were new to the language. This time you
show that you can write with proper English, probably better than most on this site. I say you are
a poser, and you are full of shit.
You are an alter. Admit it and you will sleep better.
---
There is no way I can prove I am not a alter, except through these posts. I think I've demonstrated that I'm comitted to writing serious posts, all of which have information that no alter could reveal. I could describe why my first post was written in broken English but you probably will think "I'm full of shit" anyway.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-07 21:48:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Saeki (user info) at 2006-09-07 21:39:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2006-09-06 17:48:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
If you're real, then do whatever the fuck you want, but there are few rules.
1. Everything has to be in ENGRISH. EVERYTHING.
2. You have to remind us that your the asian guy every once in a while, and we'll have fun with that.
3. Post pictures of naked asian chicks. It's mandatory.
Now that you know some of the basics, have fun, and don't fuck up.
---
I was playing along with first "rule." Bubba, if you didn't notice or even read my post, I never once typed in "Engrish" and instead tried to make it informative.
_________________________________________
Right. Your first post was in broken English, as though you were new to the language. This time you
show that you can write with proper English, probably better than most on this site. I say you are
a poser, and you are full of shit.
You are an alter. Admit it and you will sleep better.
Submitted by Saeki (user info) at 2006-09-07 21:46:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In fact, this was an effort to clear up any misguided thoughts about Asians and their difficulty in learning English. The title was merely used to bring attention to this post, as well responding to ilikesteak's request in a way he didn't intend for me to respond.
Submitted by Saeki (user info) at 2006-09-07 21:39:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2006-09-06 17:48:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
If you're real, then do whatever the fuck you want, but there are few rules.
1. Everything has to be in ENGRISH. EVERYTHING.
2. You have to remind us that your the asian guy every once in a while, and we'll have fun with that.
3. Post pictures of naked asian chicks. It's mandatory.
Now that you know some of the basics, have fun, and don't fuck up.
---
I was playing along with first "rule." Bubba, if you didn't notice or even read my post, I never once typed in "Engrish" and instead tried to make it informative.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-07 21:36:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
In your first post you attempted to say you were really Korean and were trying to write in
English. Now you post shit with "Engrish" in the title. You are a liar and a cheat, and
you are as full of shit as a Christmas goose. Just take your alter ass and put it in the
closet.
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-09-07 21:15:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-09-07 21:01:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope you're real and I hope you stick around.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-09-07 20:58:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Me rove you rong time, GI.
Submitted by Saeki (user info) at 2006-09-07 20:55:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-09-07 20:47:48 (#)
Ranking: 0
If you're an Asian broad...show me your srot.
If you're an Asian dude, kill yourself, hari-kari style.
If you're just some doofus Uber alter, go fuck yourself.
That about covers it.
---
I despise the old Japanese honor code. Hari-kiri is usually performed by those in military anyway.
Submitted by Saeki (user info) at 2006-09-07 20:51:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-09-07 20:31:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
mayo yepo masheesoh! kansamidad! yogee hana jaseyoh! OJOSHEE AJIMAH ONEE NUNAH!!!!!!!!!!!!
---
Thats hilarious. I'm serious.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-09-07 20:38:25 (#)
Ranking: 0
oh, dont get me wrong, the japanese have been a particularly nasty bunch of people. australians have suffered at the hands of the japanese in teh past also. however, i find that many koreans try to emulate fashion and behaviours i see in japanese people. or is it the other way around?
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Japanese and Korean trends tend to be intertwined, so they influence each other equally I guess.
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2006-09-07 20:45:23 (#)
Ranking: -2
HYE-YAH!
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It'll take far more than that and racism in general to piss me off.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-09-07 20:47:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you're an Asian broad...show me your srot.
If you're an Asian dude, kill yourself, hari-kari style.
If you're just some doofus Uber alter, go fuck yourself.
That about covers it.
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2006-09-07 20:45:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HYE-YAH!
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-09-07 20:41:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
actually, i think that you writing about your experiences in a western culture would be infinitely more interesting. i dont really think you could see what the 'weird' is about your culture, because its is *your* culture. by definition youre blind to the oddities and 'shortcomings' of it. write about the fucked-up things you find in western (read: anglo) society. its is far better to teach us about ourselves.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-09-07 20:38:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh, dont get me wrong, the japanese have been a particularly nasty bunch of people. australians have suffered at the hands of the japanese in teh past also. however, i find that many koreans try to emulate fashion and behaviours i see in japanese people. or is it the other way around?
Submitted by Saeki (user info) at 2006-09-07 20:33:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-09-07 20:22:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
I suggest writing about weird things you can only see in Korea, people, their habits, dumn things people do, etc, etc.
---
Alright.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-09-07 20:31:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
mayo yepo masheesoh! kansamidad! yogee hana jaseyoh! OJOSHEE AJIMAH ONEE NUNAH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-09-07 20:22:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I suggest writing about weird things you can only see in Korea, people, their habits, dumn things people do, etc, etc.
Submitted by Saeki (user info) at 2006-09-07 20:18:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-09-07 20:10:52 (#)
Ranking: 1
Effort, although this bored me.
---
Another reason why I'm not submitting these anymore.
Submitted by Saeki (user info) at 2006-09-07 20:16:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-09-07 20:10:32 (#)
Ranking: 0
i get an impression from koreans that i see and meet that they would give their left nut to be japanese. am i right in this assumption?
---
You would be right if the Japanese didn't invade Korea, rape, steal artifacts and inventions that they would later call their own, make public statements that Korea's destruction was positive, and wasn't extremely racist to other Asians.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2006-09-07 20:14:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for following basic "token asian" protocal, but the acutal post should be in ENGRISH, with all the spelling and what-not in engrish.
I thank you, and keep up the good work.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-09-07 20:13:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hey look! The 'ch' symbol looks like me.
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2006-09-07 20:11:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
effort, but this was meh
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-09-07 20:11:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All your base are belong to us.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-09-07 20:10:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Effort, although this bored me.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2006-09-07 20:10:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ichi the Killer is so fucking badass it almost hurts.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-09-07 20:10:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i get an impression from koreans that i see and meet that they would give their left nut to be japanese. am i right in this assumption?