Gotta catch 'em all! (393 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.9 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by PokeyMen <pokeymen.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2006-09-08 08:56:49 EDT
I remember the time I caught my first PokeyMen.
They were cute, short little fags, and faster than all fuck get out.
But it was worth the hot pursuit once I caught up to them and tackled the straggler to the ground. "Feco feco!" he shouted as I whipped out my Mudkip Balls and delivered a rear attack. He was quickly subdued and instantly became MINE, to be my slave PokeyMen for all eternity.
25 hit points of stamina, my ass.
It was too damn easy, and now I had an unsatisfiable desire to catch more PokeyMen. Day by day, I'd snag another one for my "collection", and every time I caught a particularly hard target, they'd retort with "Looks like Team Red Rocket's blasting off again!"
By the end of that month, my desire had morphed into a full-blown addiction. I'd traded some of my everyday, run-of-the-mill PokeyMen for others that were better gifted, and now there was only one target remaining that would quench my thirst for PokeyMen. The granddaddy of them all.
PokeyChew.
That little bastard that wouldn't retreat into his ballsack and was always following me at a safe distance, mocking me with his shrill voice, saying "Poooooke MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" I was ready for him now and would take him down for GOOD.
One day, when he was too busy checking out the Master of PokeyMen, Brock, I leapt at him from behind with a surprise double-fist attack, screaming "POKEYCHEW, I CHOOSE YOU!"
He went down faster than Rosie O'Donell on Ellen Degeneres.
For a short, small-statured little prick, he was certainly much more endowed than I expected. But now he was MINE, all mine! And no other PokeyMen masters were going to steal him from me. Yes sir, PokeyChew is MY bitch.
Now he goes EVERYWHERE with me, and try as I might sometimes, I just can't seem to shake off the affectionate little bugger. But I have to give him credit, he always fights all of my battles for me now, so I don't ruin my carefully manicured nails and well-placed hairstyle.
And better yet, I've become a local legend now...my PokeyMen brings ALL the boys to the schoolyard...and you know what that means...
"...gotta catch 'em all!"
User Reviews
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-12-07 14:34:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The second best shitpost of all time, next to this one: http://ubersite.com/m/73068
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-09-11 19:11:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
mmm, Jessie from Team Rocket
Submitted by PokeyMen (user info) at 2006-09-08 11:14:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Heartfelt apologies to all I've offended. No more shitposts from me anymore. I promise.
I'll redeem myself next week.
Submitted by PokeyMen (user info) at 2006-09-08 10:29:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
P.S. What's an alter?
Submitted by PokeyMen (user info) at 2006-09-08 10:28:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_Mighty_Badger (user info) at 2006-09-08 10:27:00 (#)
Ranking: -2
You know far too much to be a n00b, shitty alter. Here is my contribution to keeping you off the front page.
======================
Gosh...you're a WIZARD!!!
B-b-blow meeeeeeee
Submitted by The_Mighty_Badger (user info) at 2006-09-08 10:27:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You know far too much to be a n00b, shitty alter. Here is my contribution to keeping you off the front page.
Submitted by PokeyMen (user info) at 2006-09-08 10:13:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Surely there are SOME Pokemon fans here on Uber that will appreciate this?
C'mon...get it back on the front page...puh-lease???
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2006-09-08 10:08:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-09-08 10:05:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Uhhh... Sorry to say, this was pretty bad, buddy.
Submitted by PokeyMen (user info) at 2006-09-08 09:57:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-09-08 09:40:19 (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by PokeyMen (user info) at 2006-09-08 09:38:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
what is this, beat up the new guy day???
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You obviously haven't even looked around here.
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That's what YOU think.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-09-08 09:40:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by PokeyMen (user info) at 2006-09-08 09:38:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
what is this, beat up the new guy day???
==========
You obviously haven't even looked around here.
Submitted by PokeyMen (user info) at 2006-09-08 09:38:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what is this, beat up the new guy day???
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-09-08 09:33:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
But I've also seen worse.
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2006-09-08 09:25:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fuck you
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-09-08 09:21:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by PokeyMen (user info) at 2006-09-08 09:17:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hey, i tried...i'll do better next time.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-09-08 09:11:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
The art of humor is to not give away the punch line first.
Submitted by stok (user info) at 2006-09-08 09:06:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
why you gotta suck?
Submitted by PokeyMen (user info) at 2006-09-08 09:02:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
why you gotta be a hater?
Submitted by stok (user info) at 2006-09-08 09:01:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
dikhead