Things I Left in My Toilet After Reading Orgasmatron's Poetry (538 hits)
Category: Science & EnvironmentalRating: -1.11 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by KindaNews (View user info) at 2006-09-08 16:53:26 EDT
I took a shit this morning.
It started off just fine.
Then almost without warning
My ass began to whine
"Get this out of me," it cried,
And would not let me go,
"This is shit I can't abide!"
And I knew why t'was so.
Last night before I went to sleep
I read an oh-boy post
The jism in it was so deep
An ounce for every boast
It took so long to clean it up
I barely got my rest
And once I'd had my morning cup
I hit it, as you've guessed.
This parasite inside me
Was eating out my guts
My ass was fighting nobly
While I just cupped my nuts
It was hours on that potty
Before the shit went down.
But when it left my body
I had to go to town
And give you all this warning
If you cannot see through wool
Be ready in the morning
Cause your shitter will be full
User Reviews
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-11-05 01:30:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'd forgotten about this post.
My earlier sonnet still stands, but I still love a good namedrop.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-11-05 01:05:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, whatever happened to you?
rockfishrock.at.gmail.com
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-09-11 18:53:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What happened to al you funny fake news stories?
Did you run out of things to plagiarize?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-08 20:24:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The rhythm of your meter
Is crooked as my peter
Attempts, my boy, are all in vain
Your rhyming gives us all a pain
In short, you suck.
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-09-08 17:47:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Levity (user info) at 2006-09-08 17:41:19 (#)
Ranking: -2
Didn't he write a poem about shit the other day?
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That would be every day.
No shit.
Submitted by Levity (user info) at 2006-09-08 17:41:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Didn't he write a poem about shit the other day?
You're like Single White Female.
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-09-08 17:32:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-08 17:26:43 (#)
Ranking: -1
A tribute did you offer: this is not,
This printed sheet no bum would use to wipe,
Nor bleeding woman use to catch her clot,
The form is fine, but all the rest is tripe.
No laurel wreath, no standard made of gold
Before me, no fine marble statue carved,
Instead I find a joke that's growing old
The fingerprint of a helmeted tard.
Cast not your hopeful eye to toilet's lip
Nor search for quality behind stall doors,
Lest on a drop of fallen soap you slip
And wake to find you're semen'd, stretched and sore.
A promise made from one man to another
Is broken now; go home and fuck your mother.
+2 namedrop
+1 inspiring a poetry gay-off
-4 not linking the inspiration for a bandwagon post
Which was this, by the way: http://www.ubersite.com/m/92816
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I foresee another monster dump in the morning.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-09-08 17:29:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
A Haiku:
For someone who hates
Orgasmatron you sure do
Pay him attention
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-08 17:26:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
A tribute did you offer: this is not,
This printed sheet no bum would use to wipe,
Nor bleeding woman use to catch her clot,
The form is fine, but all the rest is tripe.
No laurel wreath, no standard made of gold
Before me, no fine marble statue carved,
Instead I find a joke that's growing old
The fingerprint of a helmeted tard.
Cast not your hopeful eye to toilet's lip
Nor search for quality behind stall doors,
Lest on a drop of fallen soap you slip
And wake to find you're semen'd, stretched and sore.
A promise made from one man to another
Is broken now; go home and fuck your mother.
+2 namedrop
+1 inspiring a poetry gay-off
-4 not linking the inspiration for a bandwagon post
Which was this, by the way: http://www.ubersite.com/m/92816
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-09-08 17:24:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I asked KindaNews, who KindaSucks,
To kindly lick my balls
With his lips agasp, his tongue did flash
Upon my scrotum walls
Then when KindaNews, who KindaBlows,
Got up toward the tip
He licked and slurped, and lapped and burped
Excepting all that dripped
So if you're asked by anyone,
Whether he kinda swallows,
You answer them, second to none,
He sucks wood 'til it hollows
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-09-08 17:20:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-08 17:13:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
Leave such poetry to orgasmo.
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hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
I normally don't reply to my own reviewers, but that was priceless, awful.
My point is oh-boys poetry is shit, and you who slather his ass with praise for it are hilarious.
This poem is shit, about shit, inspired by shit.
The guy below was correct, I should've left this in my toilet.
I decided however, to leave it in THIS one.
Flushhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Submitted by Matin_Morte (user info) at 2006-09-08 17:15:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dude, why don't you just ask him out already?
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-08 17:13:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
oops
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-08 17:13:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Leave such poetry to orgasmo.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-09-08 17:08:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
appropriate title but you should have left it in the toilet instead of posting it here.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-09-08 16:58:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I found myself actually frowning by the 3rd stanza.
Terrible attempt at creating poetry. Period.
Submitted by Acarnis (user info) at 2006-09-08 16:58:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought this was going to be one of those quick-picture posts. I bet someone is going to reply with one.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-09-08 16:55:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha, you pulled that out of your ass quickly. Pardon the pun.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-09-08 16:55:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
And YOU give ME shit ratings?
Typical critic.