How to Fuck youre health insurance provider (881 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.33 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by nyxmar (View user info) at 2006-09-10 18:14:08 EDT
The worst thing about doctors is that they are human. I sometimes forget that. We put them on such high pedestals because they go through this enormous amount of training and education. We expect them to have the answers. We forget that sometimes they are stumped as well. This has been a truly messed up year. I finally have a job that I enjoy, people that are fun to work with, and a good health insurance plan. The last being most crucial. I hate going to the doctors, and hospitals forget about it, I believe the word is phobia. It had been 10 yrs since I had been to a doctors office for any of my medical problems. I figured well I'm not really hurting that bad so screw it. Bad Answer.
10 yrs ago I was turned off by doctors for 2 reasons. One a surgeon recommended a surgery that he neglected to mention was experimental, and obviously it didn't work. I was told that the surgery for my shoulder had a success rate of 85%, great odds I thought. By the time I was rehabbed and truly fucked it was under 45%, but hey that's spilt milk. The other reason is that I couldn't sleep, on and on this went till one day my mind and body shut down on me in class, after that it was a flood of doctors, no answers, and a 7k bill.
I was officially turned off. For 10 years I planned my life around working 2nd and 3rd shift. I enjoyed it, slept all day, party through the night. For 8 years in a row I didn't miss a sunrise. But if you want to get ahead in life most times you have to work on good old first. So I changed jobs, used my rusty degree and got a real job, a family job, a morning job. For 2 months I was fine, then the bed time crept farther and farther along until finally doctor time had arrived.
Ever want to see a nurse look at you like you're already dead and run out of the room yelling for a doctor. Let your blood pressure rise to 230/120. I nearly shit my pants, in 6 months I had gone from 135/70, from my physical, to being in stage 4 hypertension. This started the wave of doctors appointments. Since that day in march, not a week has gone by without at least one trip to the doctor, usually 2. Since that day we I've had 2 ultrasounds, a HIDA scan (don't ever let a doctor sucker you into that one), 2 CAT scans and 2 MRI's. these beautiful expensive tests revealed in order, (1) an enlarged heart, (2) collapsed lung and pneumonia, and finally the root of all the previous problems, a herniated disc on L4-L5.
Funny how that could cause everything right. Well, when your back is fucked you make adjustments in your posture, doing that cause me to put most of my weight on my diaphragm which caused it tear, which caused me to lose ability to breathe deep breaths, which in turn caused my lung to collapse, and give me pneumonia. After all that we were only left with back pain. It took 6 months for my doctors to figure this one out. It almost feels like an episode of House. So now that we finally know what the problem is we can fix it right, well no, say hello to my friend insurance, who says we must use every non-surgical method ever created before we can do the operation. Oh well.
You wouldn't believe the insane amount of methods there are for curing back pain. Finally though we have almost arrived, after a massive amount of tests and 13k dollars, one more steroid epidural shot and I am in there. By the way those things suck, having a 6 inch needle stuck into your spine is scary and it hurts like a motherfucker. I give it up to all the women that have babies, I'd just say knock me out and go in and get the little bastard. So I have a question, has anyone here had back surgery, and how bad is it? How long was the recovery time, and will I be bawling like a baby for 3 days after or what?
User Reviews
Submitted by WingedFoote (user info) at 2006-09-12 02:06:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
title and piece have little to nothing to do with each other, but I enjoyed both...
Submitted by nyxmar (user info) at 2006-09-11 22:06:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Its been a shitty year, but the way I look at my insurance company is going to be out at least 20k. Partly, because they wouldnt authorized surgery on my back. I feel like a circus animal that has to jump through hoops to get shit done. On the shoulder surgery, be wary of capsillar shrinkage laser surgery, unless shit has changed it doesnt work. My shoulder used to pop out every once in a while, now it pops out in a different way, and hurts like a motherfucker.
Submitted by Uberjunkie (user info) at 2006-09-11 13:47:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
From the title I thought you were gonna tell me how to fuck my provider. Oh well. I have had an EKG, blood test, chest x-ray, and CAT scan in the last week and the stupid doctors still don't know what's wrong with me. I was literally told take two of these (antiinflamatories) and call in the morning. Doctors are fucktards and insurance companies are assholes. Good luck with the surgery and recovery.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2006-09-11 13:25:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy man...there are 2 spelling/grammar mistakes in my previous review. Can you find them?? :p
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2006-09-11 13:17:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I also understand that doctors are highly qualified, but sometimes it's like they're too busy to figure you out. I always had good experience with doctors when I was a child, but then by the time I was a teen, the population of my city quadrupled. This just meant my doctor seemed to busy to figure out what was wrong with me when I went to see him. So he just ordered a bunch of tests and they eventually found out what was wrong.
I'm still waiting for them to come up with an alternative for surgery in my case.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-09-11 13:00:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bastards all.
doctors and insurance companies
only want money. they could give
two shits about us.
i would still do whatever it takes to
avoid surgery.
chiropractor maybe? yoga?
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2006-09-11 12:54:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I get to do an MRI for my shoulder soon then decide on the surgery options....not going to be fun, but when I can dislocate my shoulder in my sleep (fucking painful), I need to get it fixed....strength training and physiotherapy only do so much, my tendons and liagments are perma-fucked. I'm hoping it will turn out well, I've heard good things from others with the shoulder surgery...
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-09-11 12:48:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because I have, in the past, pondered the possibility of suing my insurance company for practicing medicine without a license.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-09-11 09:30:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm giving you a pity +2 because I had back pain everyday for over a year.
My then bf kept nagging me to get a breast reduction as the cure for my ailment.
Then one day I couldn't eat without throwing up, after 2 weeks of living on salty crackers and pepto bismol I finally broke down and went to the doctor.
They took out my gallbladder the next day.
At least I got to keep my boobs.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-09-11 07:08:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus man. What the fuck did you do to yourself?
Submitted by nyxmar (user info) at 2006-09-10 23:27:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Trust me skrap, if I could do it all over again I would. I tore the capsillar tendon. The capsillar tendon is the only tendon that holds your arm to your torso, the rest are for movement and strength. At the time since I was a minor I basically went with the decision of my parents. The other way to correct the problem is a surgery where the open up your shoulder all the way around, the incision leaves an inch of uncut skin, almost a complete circle, and then staple all of the tendons to the bones on both sides. Recovery time, 6 terrible months, then 1.5 to hopefully get back, but, everything i cant do now because my shoulder is too loose (i can actually pop it out, not fully but it makes a cool pop, its called a sublexing shoulder joint) I wont be able to do because its too tight, and i would need surgery about every ten years, so yeah, fuck a lot of that.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-09-10 21:23:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Tore my right rotator cuff once when I was 35. Doc said I'd need surgery and about two years of therapy, and even at that I could never expect full strength or range of motion. After (admittedly crappy) insurance it'd cost me about $13K. I opted out. Two years after the injury I had full range of motion and more strength that before the injury, simply by exercising safely. That $13K saved more than covered my Advil and beer expense.
Submitted by nyxmar (user info) at 2006-09-10 19:50:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We are slowly reaching that point julie. The odds of a person having this condition at my age, and then requiring surgery for it are very large, and we have exhausted all remedies including rest, walking and swimming therapy, anti inflammatories (6 different kinds), physical therapy and now the steroid epidural. The only thing that has come close is taking 10 vicodin a day and 3 baclofen a day, a drug you cant simply even stop taking or youll suffer side effects. Anyway, Im tired of taking the meds. Im 27 and taking 19 pills a day.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-09-10 18:53:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hate doctors too. You don't want back surgery unless you're unable to walk.
Submitted by Cracked_out_cali (user info) at 2006-09-10 18:26:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-09-10 18:20:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for you. Now go +2 my post or else I'll -2 you.
=========
Do you ever follow through with those threats? Or has nobody called your bluff yet?
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-09-10 18:20:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for you. Now go +2 my post or else I'll -2 you.
Submitted by nyxmar (user info) at 2006-09-10 18:15:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
After spell checking the entire post i fucked up the title, stupid.