Are you not entertained!? (834 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.66 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JoeyG <joe_green_2006.at.yahoo.co.uk> (View user info) at 2006-09-12 11:45:11 EDT
After reading Beano's post yesterday http://www.ubersite.com/m/92895 it got me thinking about a few things.
I have to say, I whole heartedly agree with the points that were made. It's difficulty to accept anything as fact these days, if you weren't there to witness the events unfold. There is a lot of trash out there, and usually it's easy to spot. But just how do you decide between fact and fiction?
If someone told you that "they knew an old lady from down the street, who had a dog that used to lick her feet at night, then one morning she woke up and there was writing on the wall, blah blah blah, yackety schmackety......" then you know you can pretty much discount that straight away.
But what about when someone tells you that a few nights ago, they got involved in a bar brawl? That there were chairs and table flying around, and the twat in the white shirt was so god damn lucky that the bouncer pulled him off, or they would have needed a hearse, not an ambulance?
Now, herein lies the problem. Surely SOMETHING must have happened to trigger this tale, but what exactly? You're probably safe to deduce that there was some kind disturbance, but to what extent? It's not until you've heard the chain of events from others involved, that the story becomes clearer. Even when you have, you've probably heard a whole bunch of "extras" that the other individuals have added.
This, I believe, is human nature. It's egotism at finest. At the end of the day, who the hell wants to go and tell a shit story? When you witness something, and you believe it noteworthy enough to tell others, then surely it's worth telling well? You want a captive audience and nothing keeps asses on seats like a bit of drama. Suspense. When you recount a humorous drunken tale, you would never start off with "Gary fell on his ass last night. Yeah, we had gone out to the Lamb and Flag for a few drinks......"
Gee, I wonder how that one ends.
Anyway, I'm drifting from my point slightly. If we are to believe what we're told, how can we tell the difference between a Nun's sworn testimony and a paedophile's parole plea?
We often relate new things we're told to things we have heard in the past. We can tell when stories have been chopped and changed to suit modern situations. Well, we like to think we can, anyway. However, this doesn't always work. The old saying "history repeats itself" has never held more sway than in today's society. With the ever increasing population, some scenarios are being repeated the world over.
"You know Kate? She fell off a ladder the other day and broke her back"
"Nah, get outta here, I had a neighbour did that not 2 years ago."
When I was 4 or 5 years old, I woke up one morning and went to the bathroom. The previous night my Dad had gone on a friend's stag night and I stayed up watching kids videos with Mum until I fell asleep. When I went into the bathroom, I found my Dad, lying stark bollock naked in the bath, clutching an empty bottle of vodka. After freaking my Mum out by waking her by shouting "MUMMY, MUMMY DADDY'S DEAD," she informed me that Daddy tried to run a bath when he got home, but was too tired to turn the taps on. At the time it didn't seem that weird, although it may explain why I was breast fed until the age of 15 (I'm kidding.......... I was only 12, honest)
As I grew up, I attended a C of E school (I know what you're thinking - a whole lot of good THAT did). It wasn't until maybe 5 years later that I learned the story of Noah, and his own son finding him worse for wear and in a state of undress.
At the time, I thought this was too weird to comprehend. Me? Like Noah's Son? But when I look back, I realise that Noah was just like any dedicated drinker in this day and age - at some point you will end up doing something decidedly stupid, and there's a good probability that you won't have clothes on when you do it.
Anyway, Noah brings me on to the crux of what I'm getting at. The Bible. One of the most widely read and influential books in the western world, the Bible is probably the biggest serialised drama in the history of mankind. And a whole society is based on it, has been changed and shaped over the years by its contents.
Me personally, I'm an atheist. I no more believe that some guy with a beard, (no names mentioned for copyright purposes, let's just call him "Big J"), managed to feed 5000 dudes with 2 rainbow trout and 5 loaves of Mighty White, than I believe that Eskimos were behind 9/11. But, some people hold a lot of store by it, and that's their God/Higher Being/Allah given right. Whatever.
But would the Bible have been as influential if the ancient texts decreed that "God made the world. God made man. Man disobeys God (or at least Woman disobeyed, and Man paid price as usual - some things never change). God punishes man. etc"
Would so may people have pored over the gospels and put together the foundations of the modern church, if Matthew, Mark, Luke and John had simply agreed and said "well, the dozy cunt fell asleep in a cave, so we rolled a stone across the front - just to fuck with him a bit. Mind you, he was a dab-hand at party tricks."
The simple answer is no, and even back then people knew. So why not jazz things up a bit, and grab people's attentions. Before you know it, you've got betrayal, whips, crowns of thorns, geezers being tied up on crosses and even a prossie for good measure (sex sold - even way back then).
The same of is true of human nature throughout the course of history. In the Roman Empire, the stories told are of huge battling arenas, where lions and wild beasts and heroic gladiators would battle savage, feral men.
There were a few of these. However, more often than not, the gladiator battles were in smaller arenas and consisted of some poor bastard who had eyed the Emperor the wrong way getting hacked to bits by 12 armed guards. But that just doesn't have the same ring to it when you tell the rest of the lads from the legion over a carafe in the evening.
Overall, it's not just a matter of what is real and what is complete horse shit. People can lay falsehood at the wildest claims, based mere personal experience or sheer denial of the evidence they have been presented with. Yet they can readily accept the truth, when the truth is really an accentuated falsehood of the real events as they happened.
I gave up trying to decide decipher true lies long ago. Instead, I just let is all wash over me. Either I like it, or I don't. Life is one big story that we're all apart of. And I for one am going to make damn sure it's a fucking entertaining one.
User Reviews
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-09-13 07:36:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-09-13 07:03:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
Which I guess all leads to something maybe orgasmatron said either on your post or mine.... it at least forces people to try and be original.
Stories that were one day funny may at a later point not be so amusing or sound so original.
So I guess, unless you fell off a ladder and broke your back while simultaneously touching up the ceiling of the Sistine chapel and the Pope, while smoking a spliff with Marley and checking on Kylies pussy ... keep it to yourself.
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Very nicely put!
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-09-13 07:03:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Which I guess all leads to something maybe orgasmatron said either on your post or mine.... it at least forces people to try and be original.
Stories that were one day funny may at a later point not be so amusing or sound so original.
So I guess, unless you fell off a ladder and broke your back while simultaneously touching up the ceiling of the Sistine chapel and the Pope, while smoking a spliff with Marley and checking on Kylies pussy ... keep it to yourself.
Submitted by paint_it_black (user info) at 2006-09-13 01:40:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-09-12 22:39:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very stream of concious.
Submitted by WatchMyStep (user info) at 2006-09-12 21:46:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-12 18:01:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-11 23:17:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
You are swiftly becoming one of my favorite authors.
Submitted by Biotch (user info) at 2006-09-12 15:40:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-09-12 13:03:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking awesome read. I want more.
And auto +23499645 for this:
"I no more believe that some guy with a beard, (no names mentioned for copyright purposes, let's just call him "Big J"), managed to feed 5000 dudes with 2 rainbow trout and 5 loaves of Mighty White, than I believe that Eskimos were behind 9/11"
... you sir, are of sound mind.
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But I thought the Eskimos were behind 9/11. Isn't that what the conspiracy was all about??
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2006-09-12 15:34:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ribbit.
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-09-12 15:28:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know how you keep doing it, Joey. One more awesome post like this and I'll get suspicious and burn you for witchcraft.
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-09-12 15:22:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I recommend you to a book called, "The Golden Bough"
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-09-12 14:21:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-09-12 12:08:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
wholeheartedly is one word
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"You bet I did" is 4 words. Meh.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-09-12 13:03:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking awesome read. I want more.
And auto +23499645 for this:
"I no more believe that some guy with a beard, (no names mentioned for copyright purposes, let's just call him "Big J"), managed to feed 5000 dudes with 2 rainbow trout and 5 loaves of Mighty White, than I believe that Eskimos were behind 9/11"
... you sir, are of sound mind.
Submitted by Uberjunkie (user info) at 2006-09-12 12:55:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good read. I have been wondering about a story I heard in college that I like to think is true, but a good story nonetheless. Short version: A guy was having sex with his girl on a beach and it starts to rain. His dick slips out into the mud and she calls attention to this and puts it back in. He says, "stick it back in the mud." True? Who cares, right?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-09-12 12:53:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Imagine how horrible life would be if you told the truth all the time?
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-09-12 12:38:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wellwritten
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-09-12 12:09:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very well written. A nice blend of factual information with a personal point of view.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-09-12 12:08:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wholeheartedly is one word.
Submitted by livEvil (user info) at 2006-09-12 12:07:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
TRUEly entertaining.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-09-12 12:04:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have an auto name dropping +2, I'm leaving work now so will read this at home with a beer.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-09-12 11:52:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Quality.
Submitted by EhyehAsherEhyeh (user info) at 2006-09-12 11:51:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well-written and intelligent.
but really, who the fuck cares?