Uber World Records, The Official Uber Scoreboard, and MALTESE VIDWHORES!!!1! (1495 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 0.27 on 49 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Maltese (View user info) at 2006-09-12 18:23:53 EDT
Ah yes. The stats post. I took a full hour out of time I could have spent masturbating in order to put this together for you guys, so be grateful. Let's see how you pitiful rectum-siphoners rank on the Uber Scoreboard, shall we? *has no life whatsoever*
== UBER WORLD RECORDS ==
Most Viewed Author: Bart Cilfone (1,123,420 hits)
Most Reviews Written: Shlongy (25,556 reviews)
Most Reviewed Author: Loki (28,686 reviews)
Highest Average Rating: thecaes (1.84 on 2568 reviews)
Most B@W Posts: Bart Cilfone (15 posts)
Most Viewed Post: http://ubersite.com/m/84167 (804408 hits)
Most Reviewed Post: http://ubersite.com/44213 (5038 reviews)
Highest Heat: http://ubersite.com/m/91487 (407 heat)
Longest Reply Train: http://ubersite.com/m/54609#1491022 (88 reviews)
Longest +2 Streak: http://ubersite.com/m/58423 (111 reviews)
Longest -2 Streak: http://ubersite.com/m/60973 (32 reviews)
...
Most Awesomest Poster: Maltese (BITCHES!!!1!)
== UBER SCOREBOARD ==
Most Viewed
1. Bart - 1123420 hits
2. JMG114 - 1051224 hits
3. Razor - 987881 hits
4. forthewin - 934386 hits
5. MickGinny - 889616 hits
6. Loki - 730447 hits
7. Jonukah - 714956 hits
8. Tom - 667822 hits
9. Method - 633900 hits
10. Fat Tony - 621469 hits
11. Sideburns - 612519 hits
12. Habeeb - 602518 hits
13. BuckeyesTHEGAME - 566865 hits
14. maiorano84 - 543146 hits
15. rad1101 - 542582 hits
16. professorfuckface - 516718 hits
17. Spooner - 507461 hits
18. TigerLilly - 496393 hits
19. hidden101 - 493113 hits
20. Apollo88 - 484986 hits
21. WillZone - 473450 hits
22. electrictoothsyndrome - 454013 hits
23. Jack McCallum - 444601 hits
24. iddqd - 424808 hits
25/zakalwe - 416404 hits
26. Bigmike - 415222 hits
27. Adamdidit2u - 390695 hits
28. Stabkill - 378870 hits
29. Rizzo - 377807 hits
30. kai070169 - 376887 hits
31. comicbookguy - 375418 hits
32. stevie_says - 374225 hits
33. jimbo - 362551 hits
34. drink_DDT - 344212 hits
35. ryandonovan - 330485 hits
36. reallybored - 327336 hits
37. shandythedog - 326689 hits
38. Nath - 324437 hits
39. Smurfs - 319626 hits
40. Circe - 311243 hits
41. tuesdaydelay - 309347 hits
42. gibberish - 306728 hits
43. shitfuck - 299922 hits
44. Loren1 - 291186 hits
45. William Q Percy - 287470 hits
46. _JP - 282827 hits
47. Kristen - 276894 hits
48. polyamorousaj - 273424 hits
49. youarsoghey - 272500 hits
50. badassmofo - 268156 hits
51. Saxon - 266547 hits
52. Orgasmatron - 265804 hits
53. GodLovesALittleLovin - 260754 hits
54. nitty34 - 258720 hits
55. Axolotl - 249890 hits
56. Teephphah - 249182 hits
57. Urbane - 246586 hits
58. Electro - 242436 hits
59. Lisa - 242190 hits
60. Caulaincourt - 240138 hits
61. j0andre1 - 237094 hits
62. lojope - 235564 hits
63.DonkeyOnTheEdge - 233489 hits
64. Manfre - 232113 hits
65. domenad - 231901 hits
66. bob - 231719 hits
67. corn_nugget - 231015 hits
68. wardy - 229945 hits
69. catscradle - 221084 hits
70. BLITZKREIG_BOB - 219929 hits
71. PokeyPecker - 211570 hits
72. sg11588 - 209165 hits
73. RyuFu - 205603 hits
74. lowsodiummonkey - 204988 hits
75. JonnyX - 203443 hits
76. Envenom - 202209 hits
77. potatomanjack - 201824 hits
78. FilthyAssistant - 197212 hits
79. Vermin - 196919 hits
80. jgreening - 196532 hits
81. kaos-king - 195698 hits
82. Shlongy - 192512 hits
83. PeopleAreStrange - 189198 hits
84. Pentameter - 182621 hits
85. DonovanMD - 179180 hits
86. streetpunk - 178225 hits
87. Snark - 176975 hits
88. Sphagnum - 176129 hits
89. hairsphincter - 169191 hits
90. Nicole3 - 166650 hits
91. sublime - 165620 hits
92. Kaelic - 165080 hits
93. FunnyAsCancer - 164491 hits
94. darko - 158683 hits
95. Davros - 158498 hits
96. Phallic Cymbals - 157807 hits
97. WildcatMcGee - 156985 hits
98. Falco - 156749 hits
99. The_taste_of_Monkeys - 155204 hits
100. Murphy1844 - 155192 hits
Dammit, Loki... you may have more hits, but YOU ARE A FUCKING CHOIR BOY COMPARED TO ME!!! A FUCKING CHOIR BOY!!!
Most Messages
1. loki - 835 posts
2. Habeeb - 693 posts
3. MickGinny - 638 posts
4. Fat Tony - 508 posts
5. Jack McCallum - 503 posts
6. KoolMang - 452 posts
7. iddqd - 433 posts
8. shandythedog - 428 posts
9. apollo88 - 424 posts
10. Electro - 423 posts
Ah. I see all the village idiots have made that list.
Most Reviews Written
1. Shlongy - 25556 reviews
2. rad1101 - 22772 reviews
3. Caulaincourt - 21983 reviews
4. loki - 21091 reviews
5. apollo88 - 18067 reviews
6. munkeypants - 16776 reviews
7. JonnyX - 16746 reviews
8. Method - 15367 reviews
9. jgreening - 13600 reviews
10. Berty - 13593 reviews
That's the best geek orgy I've heard of...
Most Reviewed Authors
1. loki - 28686 reviews
2. Razor - 23173 reviews
3. electrictoothsyndrome - 21432 reviews
4. Jack McCallum - 18935 reviews
5. MickGinny - 18800 reviews
6. TigerLilly - 18717 reviews
7. Method - 18571 reviews
8. apollo88 - 18300 reviews
9. rad1101 - 18155 reviews
10. Fat Tony - 17355 reviews
These people have been causing corporations to lose work productivity since they have signed up. YEAH!!! FIGHT TEH POWUH!!!1! KEEL EM DANG CORPERAYSHUNS!
Highest Average Rating*
1. thecaes - 1.84 on 2568 reviews
2. Snark - 1.83 on 5525 reviews
3. Pentameter - 1.82 on 3802 reviews
4. kre8rix - 1.82 on 1092 reviews
5. Saxon - 1.80 on 3942 reviews
6. jack11058 - 1.77 on 2054 reviews
7. Circe - 1.76 on 9441 reviews
8. Spam - 1.75 on 3127 reviews
9. ahumblefool - 1.75 on 2020 reviews
10. Smurfs - 1.74 on 4115 reviews
*Requires to be reviewed at least 1000 times
...
0. Maltese - infinity on infinity reviews
== SECRET PAGES ==
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/stats.cgi - Shows the traffic statistics of the site, such as total verified users, total number of reviews, posts and reviews today, etc.
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/users.cgi?sort=hits&days=ALL - The entire directory of users on Uber, which you can sort by hits, number of posts, average rating, reviews, most reviewed, and sign-up date.
http://ubersite.com/cgi-bin/moreinfo.cgi?uber=Maltese - Shows how you've rated different users and how they've rated you. If you want to see your stats or someone else's, just replace my username in the URL with the username you want.
http://ubersite.com/ubersite.rss - RSS code for the front page.
http://boredatwork.com/ubersite - BoredAtWork's 404 page.
http://ubersite.com/ubermap.gif - Map showing where Uberers live (this is what the data you enter in your profile is for).
http://ubersite.com/color/ - Color generator made in 1999 by Bart as a possible alternative to HTML code.
http://ubersite.com/emot.html - Random emoticons that Bart considered to use for a rating system, circa September 1999 (notice how it goes from 1.0 to 5.0).
http://malteses-secret-child-porn-collection.ubersite.com/ - Uber's 404 page.
http://www.ubersite.com/l/ - List of various labels.
All the while, I've been one SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD panda, with these pitiful statistics:
User id: 27834
Registered on or around: 2006-07-14 16:19:23
# Messages posted: 55
# Reviews written: 1288
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 1612
# Hits: 35161
Average rating of all messages: 0.24
=(
Anyways, now onto this part of the post: TEH VIDWHORE!!1!!one!!eleventy!!ellafitzgerald!!!
Well, it's not an ACTUAL vidwhore. It is me however. Four and a half years ago, though. Yeah.
This was a short film I made of myself back in early 2002, when I was 11 years old. It consisted of me doing stupid things while I was bored. Now I feel like the biggest asshole since when the Goatse Man had his holio stretched out with a vice in order to fit babies in it. I'm now 16 and have matured considerably.
b0ner.
Maltese_Vidwhore_2002_MUTHAFUCKAZZZZZZZ.wmv (2 MB) [video/x-ms-wmv]
User Reviews
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2007-03-12 20:29:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HA! I MADE A LIST!!
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-09-13 19:16:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yawl wuz a cute chillun. wat happind? LULZ I JOAK
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2006-09-13 16:31:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no one should WANT to be on any of these lists, because it's just physical proof of a lack of real life
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-09-13 13:06:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
FUCK OFF ALREADY
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-09-13 11:38:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
nope
Submitted by Dexter-Brown (user info) at 2006-09-13 11:24:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
someone give that kid some lithium!
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-09-13 06:49:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maltese is a whore. True story.
Submitted by Harbinger (user info) at 2006-09-13 06:24:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by NecroBlanca1 (user info) at 2006-09-13 06:07:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wrote this just for you. It's about your wife. http://www.ubersite.com/m/92984
Submitted by NecroBlanca1 (user info) at 2006-09-13 04:55:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Can I rape your pregnant chink wife? No? Then STFU.
Submitted by The_Mighty_Badger (user info) at 2006-09-13 04:49:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Interesting, but that video was clearly fake.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-09-13 00:04:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Interesting but sad.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-12 22:43:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Most poems.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-09-12 22:35:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
sigh... another list I didn't make.
Submitted by bokinsmowls (user info) at 2006-09-12 22:20:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-09-12 21:16:09 (#)
Ranking: -2
Been done before. By me.
Find your own niche.
----
stfu axface he's just doin his thang dont b hatin
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-09-12 21:16:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Been done before. By me.
Find your own niche.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-09-12 21:00:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://malteses-secret-child-porn-collection.ubersite.com/ - Uber's 404 page.
---------
Proof that there's a shred of humor in the twisted mind of Maltese.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-09-12 20:48:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
lame.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2006-09-12 20:47:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
8===========D ( 0 )
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2006-09-12 20:47:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
8===========D ( 0 )
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2006-09-12 20:38:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Biggest whore award goes to:
Maltese.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-12 20:32:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I take back my comments from earlier today. This was pretty cool.
Submitted by bokinsmowls (user info) at 2006-09-12 20:04:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2006-09-12 19:48:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
kids can be so bloody strange.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-09-12 19:48:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Smurfs was the best writer on this site.
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-09-12 19:36:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FARTING CUM!!!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-09-12 19:25:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Longest original story posted on uber.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/53153
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-09-12 19:23:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
NOT ANYMORE...
http://ubersite.com/m/60973
And i find it REALLY hard to believe that the most heat ever was only 405 or whatever it was. I am almost CERTAIN that one of the posts containing someones greasy twat raced up faster than that
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-09-12 19:21:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-09-12 19:03:35 (#)
Ranking: 1
Apollo, I would actually prefer (and do prefer) having rated more than I have been rated.
Uber is more about the reviews than the posts, a lot of the time. The post is just a way to get a discussion or a flamewar or whatever going. ""
don't be fucking ridiculous.
what it means is you yap on and on and people ignore you.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2006-09-12 19:19:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I made a list! A list, I say!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-09-12 19:10:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
~OathMeal Approved~
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-09-12 19:08:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-09-12 19:04:30 (#)
Ranking: -2
Loki's a fucking idiot.
Did you know, that if Shlongy had as many posts as loki, that he would have over 1,541,000 hits?
And if I ever DO come close to that number of posts, you- yes YOU maltese, you fucking zitboy, have permission to shoot me repeatedly in the cubes.
I even put that in my will.
----
Loki's the most boring person on the site... 833 posts about nothing.
Fuck Loki in the ass with a sharpened razor.
Shlongy, I love your posts, and you DO deserve 1,541,000 hits.
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-09-12 19:06:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Holy fuck. You love ubersite.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-09-12 19:04:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Loki's a fucking idiot.
Did you know, that if Shlongy had as many posts as loki, that he would have over 1,541,000 hits?
And if I ever DO come close to that number of posts, you- yes YOU maltese, you fucking zitboy, have permission to shoot me repeatedly in the cubes.
I even put that in my will.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-09-12 19:03:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Apollo, I would actually prefer (and do prefer) having rated more than I have been rated.
Uber is more about the reviews than the posts, a lot of the time. The post is just a way to get a discussion or a flamewar or whatever going.
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2006-09-12 19:02:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The post was interesting.. however I don't know what to make of the video.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-09-12 18:54:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, some of them don't. That alexa ranking thing is real sad. Uber is dying.
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2006-09-12 18:52:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cool but useless
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-09-12 18:47:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
those links don't work dipshit
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-09-12 18:46:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
2 for the arnold quote and teh super secret pages.
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-09-12 18:45:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuckin' kids and their -2's... git off mah dern lawn!!!1!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-09-12 18:44:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-09-12 18:37:01 (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh and this...
WHOOOOO! I'm finally in the Top 10 Most Reviews!
Fucking took long enough...
Course, it'll be months before I can even think of passing Method... """
the trick is to be reviewed more than you review that way you are at least contributing something.
These stats are gay though.
Who cares?
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2006-09-12 18:41:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
That was dumb....
Submitted by fodesnor (user info) at 2006-09-12 18:39:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Why... the head in the toliet?
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-09-12 18:38:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-09-12 18:37:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh and this...
WHOOOOO! I'm finally in the Top 10 Most Reviews!
Fucking took long enough...
Course, it'll be months before I can even think of passing Method...
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-09-12 18:35:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I WILL make it into the top ten reviews by the end of the year. Provided that, you know, I quit letting the bitches take up all my time.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-09-12 18:32:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Educational.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-09-12 18:27:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm pretty sure 407 heat is NOT a record...
We had re: 16 y/olds close to 450-475 before it was removed from record.