Directv are some greedy mother f&ckers (611 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (View user info) at 2006-09-15 09:33:31 EDT
Directv sent me a past due notice via email a few days ago. This is interesting to me particularly because I am a digital cable subscriber.
I called them up and said, I don't have directv how am I past due?
They said their records indicated I was past due for the month of August.
I informed them that I had service disconnected on August 7 (with time of call, contact person, confirmation number, etc) and would be happy to pay them a pro-rated amount for the initial 7 days.
The not-so-polite woman quickly pointed out that "the 5th of the month is the last day for deactivation without being billed 100%".
Our conversation quickly took a detour.
When I told her I was not paying 100% for two days of service, she asked "What do you mean 2 days of service?" I just grinned, because I knew I was getting ready to have some fun. I knew she was getting ready to get lost; I was going to confuse the hell out of her just because I could. It wasn't even really a fair fight, but I need some entertainment in an otherwise dull day.
I said "2 days of service, pretty self explanatory in the English speaking world."
She said "But you had service interrupted on the 7th"
"I did not"
"You did! You just said you did!"
"I said I had them disconnected. Interruption means you turned them off for not paying the bill or something"
"Well, either way it was the 7th."
"Right, so why are you trying to collect like 8 bucks from me when people are three months behind?"
"We are trying to collect $78.79 from you, sir"
"Well, you over shot your collection goals by like 71 bucks."
"I'm sorry, Mr. andfatboy? Overshot?"
"Yeah, you are not going to collect 79 bucks from me for two days of service"
"Why do you keep saying two days of service? It's at least 7 days; you done admitted that, Sir."
<yep, done admitted that is exactly what she said>
"I done admitted nothing like that. You said I could disconnect service on the 5th with out owing the monthly charge"
"Yes, the 5th of every month is when billing is done. If your disconnect processes by the 5th then billing does not see you as an active customer and you don't owe no monthly charges"
"I am not real smart but if you take 7, being the 7th and you minus 5, being the 5th, don't you get two? I did. Do you have a calculator there?"
"-------"
I could tell she was getting really pissed at this point. So I did what anyone of you would have done, I pressed on.
"Would you like me to lay out some math as to why I will pay 8 bucks but not any more?"
"Mr. Benfield, we have policies and procedures. We have cut off dates and we have set billing cycles........"
I interrupted "Are you going to get a percentage of my 8 bucks? Do you make like 3% commission or something? Are you going to get 24 cents out of this collection?"
"No sir"
"Then so what? Does Directv need my 8 dollars to pay the power bill this month? Are the lights flickering on and off? Are company wide bonuses and salaries dependent on my 8 bucks?"
"Why do you say 8 dollars, Mr. andfatboy?"
"I will pay a pro-rated amount?"
"Pro-rated?"
"Well, OK. It works like this. Because 7 days is 25% of the month, 25% of my monthly charge of 79 bucks is about 20 give or take a bit. Of course these are rough estimates. Still with me?"
"Yes, sir"
"OK. 2, as in days, is about a third of 7. A third of 20 equals about $7 and I figure you have a dollars worth of tax or something, so I come up with 8 bucks.
"You owe us 78.79. Not 8 dollars, Mr. andfatboy."
We argued in a very civil tone for about 15 minutes and I finally said "Let's spell this out in extremely simple terms. I am not paying 100% of a monthly invoice for 2 days of service, and the fact that I just had to say that to you, enrages me more than you know. Now, if you would like me to pay 2 days worth of service charges or $8 as we calculated earlier, I would be more than happy to do so. Otherwise, you will get the same thing I got when my I graduated 2nd grade."
I swear this woman interrupted me and said "you got something for passing 2nd grade?"
I said "yeah. I got $8 and a bag of skittles. You can have the same thing, but collecting anymore than that is just is not an achievable goal for you."
"Mr. andfatboy, this is a legitimate bill."
"Why am I discussing finance with you? Is there a man over there I can talk to, I am not getting through to you"
<Author's note: I thought she would laugh, realizing the humor in the whole conversation as soon as I went this way, but no. She certainly did not appreciate my humor or didn't get the joke at all.>
I felt like this was the best time to end the conversation, since it was being recorded 'for quality assurance'.
I confessed I was joking about the man thing and asked her to send me a statement. She agreed to do so and we parted ways.
I should have went with the NaNa - NaBooBoo arguement.
User Reviews
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-09-16 03:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-09-15 20:10:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You should have told them to just give it to a collection agency. I doubt they would waste their time.
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2006-09-15 20:02:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
next time , and there will be a next time (I used to work for them) ask for a supervisor, and be angry with the rep but polite to the super.
odds are they will knock the entire charge off.
and if they don't then give them the finger and dont pay
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-09-15 15:25:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
3rd raise this year....WOOT WOOT!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-15 14:45:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-09-15 14:31:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Uberjunkie (user info) at 2006-09-15 13:40:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your point about the 2 days was well founded.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-09-15 11:41:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought that was a good argument.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-09-15 11:25:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-09-15 10:20:26 (#)
Ranking: -2
Your post read like jgreening writes, Mr. Benfield.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-09-15 10:20:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Your post read like jgreening writes, Mr. Benfield.
Submitted by dephtones (user info) at 2006-09-15 10:19:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I hate DirecTV, Dish Network, and anyone else who completes all their business by phone. I've some really fun conversations with the people at Dish Network.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-09-15 10:05:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dish network are worse AND THEY AREN'T CARRYING SETANTA SO I MISS HALF THE EPL GAMES.
If they are reading this:
DISH NETWORK I WILL PAY ANY AMOUNT OF MONEY PER MONTH FOR SETANTA. GOT ME?? ANY AMOUNT.
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2006-09-15 09:51:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good story Mr. Benfield
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-09-15 09:43:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know what all the hate is for. This is fucking hilarious.
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2006-09-15 09:41:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hi Kates. How have things been??
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-09-15 09:39:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi Tobes
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2006-09-15 09:37:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fuck off
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-09-15 09:35:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What's a "Fampersandcker"?