On the subject of clothes, and squirrels (478 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.81 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Fungah (View user info) at 2006-09-19 13:17:22 EDT
On clothes:
Although trying to avoid the process of blogigng in this area, I feel it necessary to state that I do believe a breakthrough is possible, without extending the forthcoming dialogue beyond the space of time of an elevator statement.
That being said, clothes are singlehandedly the cause of most of the ills present on the information superhighway these days. Yes, one would think that this statement is lacking a basic gestalt structure, and would seem vague, but I urge patience beforse sudden condmenation of my ideas.
There will inevitably be a learning curve associated with the intake of new ideas, the logistics of which may seem confusing but will inevitably lead on a metric, and concrete progression towards the inevitable conclusion.
I, myself; being a part of the new next generation X, and one of the extreme products of corporate bombardment know deeply the fissures that the contemporary fashion market is capable of creating in interpersonal relationships, especially when they are e-mediated through the internet.
I would hence propose a drastic reengineering of the way we consider the fashion market, and a robust system of scalability put in place for the purpose of spearheading a drastic paradigm shift in contemporary culture.
This is my vision statement anyway people. I think I've made myself very clear on this point regardless.
The burning of everyone's clothes in huge heaps should begin some time around 3:00 PM tomorrow afternoon then. See you then.
On squirrels:
Squirrels, as delicious as they may be when prepared over a roaring fire with just the right selection of herbs and spices, should never be used to prepare a pagan altar. It's time to eat your own dog food people.
The idea of doing so may at times seen appealing, and one may view it as a way with which to come closer to their respective deity. This is in fact however a terrible, terrible idea, and there is much dilligence due that has been up to this point nonexistent. The feedback loop must be broken.
Constructing an altar out of squirrel, while definitely thinking outside the box, will only bring upon one the wrath of Nutstashalese, that most hated and feared of squirrel gods. Verily if one were to build an altar to any other god using his most cherished creature, the squirrel, he would surely rain fiery, nutty vengance upon you.
Ergo, heretofore, it has been necessary to impose a mandatory paradigm shift on the aforementiond holistic perspective on their respective gods using squirrel altars. I only pray that all of you who did, or were considering doing this, will find empowerment in this new form of business logic, and continue in the best practice of not making pagan altars from squirrels.
In summation, I hope that these talking points have sufficiently addressed my vision statement for this particular idea, and that by working together we can continue to enjoy spiritual synergy, and sustainability.
The end.
User Reviews
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2006-09-20 07:29:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This read like an email from our IT department.
Luckily I didn't just scan the key words then merrily delete it, this was better.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-09-19 18:28:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
har har
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-19 14:22:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This post repeatedly stabbed me in the brain
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-09-19 14:20:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The squirrels in my neighbourhood have been acting crazy lately...i'm scared :(
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2006-09-19 13:57:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-09-19 13:49:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
wait a minute, 'squirrel alters'???
now we have to be infested witrh squirrel alters?? NO SIR I THINK NOT
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altArs jonny, people pray at them.
they're usually devoid ot the shit associated with alters, unless you belong to a cult that worships fecal matter.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-09-19 13:49:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wait a minute, 'squirrel alters'???
now we have to be infested witrh squirrel alters?? NO SIR I THINK NOT
Submitted by The_Mighty_Badger (user info) at 2006-09-19 13:40:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
More than 3 words from Fungah; +2
Submitted by Samo (user info) at 2006-09-19 13:36:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Through light perusal your statements radiate a warmth which shall no doubt be reinforced once I draw them into a more active level of cognition at a later time,
I thank you
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-09-19 13:34:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
makes me thing of gonads and strife.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-09-19 13:23:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nutty vengeance
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-09-19 13:22:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
compelling
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-09-19 13:20:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nutty vengance eh?