The Gheylord of the Rank (1704 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.74 on 128 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Berty (View user info) at 2006-09-20 07:36:38 EDT
Three ranks were given to the wisest and fairest of the uberusers, seven ranks were given to the master craftusers, and nine ranks were given to uberusers who, above all else, desire power.
But they were all of them deceived, for another rank was cast.
In the land of MoRoR, in the fires of Mount Heated, the ghey lord Shlongy forged in secret a master rank to -2 all the others. And into this rank he poured his cruelty, his malice and his gheyness. One rank to pwn them all.
One by one the free posts of Ubersite fell to the power of the -2 die. But there were some who resisted. A last alliance of Canuks and Seppos stood against the trolls of MoRoR and bickered for the freedom of Ubersite.
Victory was near but the power of the -2 die could not be undone. It was in this time, when all hope had faded, that Caulaincort, son of a bitch, took up his fathers keyboard.
Shlongy, enemy of the free users of Ubersite, was defeated. The rank passed to Caulaincort, who had this one chance to destroy gheyness forever. But the hearts of Canucks are easily corrupted, and the rank of -2die has a will of its own.
It betrayed Caulaincort, and some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend, legend became myth and for two and a half weeks the -2die passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, it ensnared a new user.
The rank came to the creature Jay Peg, who took it deep into the tunnels of old posts, and there, it consumed him.
The rank brought to Jay Peg unnatural prominence. For one and a half years it poisoned his mind and in the gloom of Jay Peg's profile, it waited. Darkness crept back into the site. Rumour grew of a shadow of noobs from the east, whispers of a nameless apathy, and the rank perceived that its time had now come. It abandoned Jay Peg.
But something happened that the rank did not intend. It was acquired by the most unlikely creature imaginable:
[The rank, all covered in ickyness, is picked up.]
Dervel: What's this?
An Uberbrit. Derka Derka Dervel of Hertfordshire.
Dervel: A rank!
Jay Peg (unseen): LOST!!1!!111!!!! OH LOST! MY PRECIOUS IS LOST!
[Dervel puts the rank in his pocket.]
For the time would soon come when Uberbrits would shape the fortunes of all.
User Reviews
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2006-11-13 05:31:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Juden (user info) at 2006-11-07 06:51:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Refuse, deny and out right fight.
I mean do what they say.
Y'know the big picture.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-11-07 06:38:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*sigh* if you insist.
Submitted by Juden (user info) at 2006-11-07 06:35:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
sucks, eh? but just put one foot in front of the otter
Submitted by Juden (user info) at 2006-11-07 06:31:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I only suppose we can.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-11-07 06:28:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Get a move on. You haven't been creative in ages.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-11-07 05:56:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
THE EYE OF SAURON IS ON YOU
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 06:31:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd force feed a raccoon a thousand laxative pills. No problem
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-10-06 06:01:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 05:39:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0137965/
Bert Raccoon is dead
---
How can he be dead when we still have his poems?
No, wait. Wrong programme.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-06 05:49:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit you're bored, red.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 05:39:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0137965/
Bert Raccoon is dead
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 05:37:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Raccoons
IT WAS FUCKING CANADIAN - NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-10-06 05:37:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How dare you, Sir.
The Racoons rocked it all over the Evergreen Forest.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 05:36:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The bear needed a hair cut too.
And what was up with the dog animal thingy? It's the same dark shit that goes on with Pluto and Goofy.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 05:34:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The Racoons was fucking clownshoes.
The whole thing stank of conspiracy and incest
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 05:32:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Also - Dervel loves Cyril Sneer.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 05:30:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/93088
The one with the blue shirt.
In one of those pictures Shazza where she is rocking back with laughter (I probably said something hilarious) - it looks like she has been subjected to thalidomide poisoning when in the womb.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-10-06 05:27:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 05:16:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
However - may I focus your attention on Nath in reference to the aforemented E Nesbit sand fairy story?
---
Never met him, therefore he looks exactly like Cyril Sneer.
Can't argue with that logic.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 05:18:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-10-06 05:14:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
*sigh*
Very well.
---
VICTORY!
Good on you Berdalf. Now set some fireworks off.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 05:16:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-10-06 05:08:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Will you be making a cameo appearance as the Psammead?
---
Your wittiest ever comment.
However - may I focus your attention on Nath in reference to the aforemented E Nesbit sand fairy story?
http://www.abc.net.au/children/includes/shows/images/fiveandit_276.jpg
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-10-06 05:14:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*sigh*
Very well.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-10-06 05:08:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Will you be making a cameo appearance as the Psammead?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 05:05:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sure Berdalf would disagree with you there.
We need a Radogast. One with the beasties and whatnot.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-10-06 05:02:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But a hedgehog can never be buggered.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:55:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A wizard's staff has a knob on the end.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:54:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Then he wakes up and it was all a dream.
Then the next day Gandalf walks funny and can't find his staff.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:52:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe after Opiskin is thrown through the door by Rostanev and runs away, he comes back covered in mud and holding the ring.
Then he nails the governess, who turns out to be Gandalf with a dodgy perm.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:42:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have decided this is actually a really good idea. Just do a find and replace and stick in the odd Uber reference.
THIS IS HIT WHORING MATERIALS BERTALF.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:39:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty: They are one; the ring and the Dark Lord. Dervel, he must never find it.
Dervel: [gets up to hide the ring] All right. We'll put it away. We'll keep it hidden, we'll never speak of it again. No one knows it's here, do they?
[Berty doesn't answer]
Dervel: Do they, Berty?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:37:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gandalf The Grey. Obviously. Working in the shadows against the works of Shlongy - but carrying with him - a burning fire.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:34:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty is now Gandalf.
Hanging around with 'little people.'
Taking them on 'adventures' and talking about 'rings.'
It's practically a biography
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:33:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do the voice too. And grow a proper beard.
Brummy Gandalf.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:32:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope you have got to Farmer Maggot's farm by now and his two dogs Fang and Grip.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:29:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:13:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty.
Kindly rewrite Lord of the Rings.
I will be a Ring Wraith. I brook no argument.
chop chop now Brummy sort.
---
Heh.
Yes, do pop along now, Berty.
T'would be nice if you could also include Dostoevsky's "The Village of Stepanchikovo" as a mid-tale dream sequence.
First draft by lunchtime, if you will.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:13:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty.
Kindly rewrite Lord of the Rings.
I will be a Ring Wraith. I brook no argument.
chop chop now Brummy sort.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:12:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
THIS IS NOT A SERIES.
THIS IS A ONE OFF.
PLEASE STOP BADGERING ME TO RE-WRITE LORD OF THE FUCKING RING.
Submitted by paint_it_black (user info) at 2006-10-06 04:03:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2006-09-21 17:03:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by paint_it_black (user info) at 2006-09-20 09:03:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
"Darkness crept back into the site"
____________
i HOPE THAT WAS ABOUT ME i WOULD BE SO PROUD
--------------
Has Method admitted this is him yet?
___________
Yes, wait... wait, No.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-10-06 03:47:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have I won the day yet?
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-10-05 11:25:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-09-21 21:40:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-09-21 10:49:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
The Scissor Sisters can fuck right off too.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2006-09-21 17:03:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by paint_it_black (user info) at 2006-09-20 09:03:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
"Darkness crept back into the site"
____________
i HOPE THAT WAS ABOUT ME i WOULD BE SO PROUD
--------------
Has Method admitted this is him yet?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-09-21 12:44:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Everything you ever wanted to know about Bizdorph
User id: 9005
Registered on or around: 2004-05-28 15:28:41
# Messages posted: 140
# Reviews written: 1476
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 2401
# Hits: 80904
Average rating of all messages: 0.06
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2006-09-21 12:28:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Is THIS what a good post is these days?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-09-21 10:54:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know what the fuck this was about but it was probably pretty good sicne Shlongy had a starring role so here's a first; a +2 for Berty.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-09-21 10:49:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The Scissor Sisters can fuck right off too.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-09-21 10:46:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's 'Scouseland' Jimbo. Or 'Domain of the Bin Dippers'
*lounges back on throne made of coal*
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-09-21 10:44:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just want to express my complete hatred of Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas. Fucking rubbish.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-09-21 10:19:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
merseyshire?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-09-21 09:25:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Gotcha DC. I'll write you in as old hobbit that scowls at frodo and co. as they come and go.
Not that I have any intention of re-writing Lord of the Rings, of course.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-09-21 09:04:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I live in a shire...the best shire.
Leicestershire.
But I'm not a hobbit. I'd like to be.....erm. Dammit all the good looking uberfighters in LOTR are ghey. Bah. The king guy. You know after he is fixed up by Master G, and a little younger and less stuffy and with more naked girls.
You know what just write a seperate porno version and put me in that.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-09-21 06:21:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Spooner's the dark and mysterious woodsman, right? In "The Return Of The Queen"?
sorry Spooner.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-09-21 05:59:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Today I am crushed with shame at the memory of when I was tired and sorting post and I kind of accidently inferred/blandly stated that the lady accountant was fat and that fat people were inferior and that I was glad that I am not fat.
:(
I actually do wish I was fat.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-09-21 05:38:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-09-20 12:20:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
pah!
Knutsford services is where it is at.
They have a BK and KFC.
Berty - i want to be something evil.
Like Delia.
---
Too far, apolloaf. You're talking about the woman I love.
You jolly well take that back.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-20 23:25:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've never watched a Lord of the Rings movie.
How sad.
Submitted by rejected (user info) at 2006-09-20 22:35:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, this was amazingly funny.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-09-20 22:22:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LeaderOfMen (user info) at 2006-09-20 19:07:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus fucking deux.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-09-20 17:25:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Derka Derka Dervel of Hertfordshire"
Awesome. I'm so retarded. I didn't even know this had anything to do with LOTR until I read the rewiews.
P.S. Berty isn't even English. He just pretends to be so we won't know he's from Tijuana and has participated in a donkey show. Pass it on.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-09-20 15:38:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
jaypeg as Gollum IS pretty good, I'll admit.
Just a long as I get to be a hot female elven archer, I'm cool with that.
I PLEDGE MY ALLEGIANCE TO GHOLA
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-20 15:03:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to bear your crippled babies.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-09-20 14:44:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why does no one talk about me being Gollum?
Huh?
Huh?
Not interesting is it?
Wait.
It's really not.
Nevermind. Nothing to see here.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-09-20 14:44:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ew below.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-09-20 14:32:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dervel takes little convincing to hand over access to his ring.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-09-20 14:24:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Look Apollo - by nominating you for the Dark Lord, and setting myself up as a wannabe Ring Wraith - I am clearly pledging fealty to you.
I'm going to go chase Dervel now and insist that he hand over his ring.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-09-20 14:20:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-09-20 12:35:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Apollo HAS to be Sauron. A Great Vast Blazing Red Bulbous Eye. Only with a Great Vast Blazing Red Bulbous other Eye and Great Vast Blazing Red Bulbous Head too. ""
fuck you long neck!
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2006-09-20 14:17:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This blew my mind AND my load
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-09-20 14:11:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha..
very good.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-09-20 14:09:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to be a dwarf.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-09-20 13:03:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i really should be liv tyler. she was knocked up, or looked it, in at least one of the movies.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-09-20 12:56:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahahahahaha!
It's true by the way. Us Canucks are easily corrupted.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-20 12:48:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-09-20 12:46:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-20 11:30:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus, Noonie, I'd have thought you'd be all about using protection given the industry you work in.
So who's the father?
-------
more of a question of who isn't.
---
I shudder to think what the mixed batches of sperm inside you will produce.
And, to stay on the subject of this post, I think LegOrgasmalas is the perfect name for a ghey elf archer.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-09-20 12:46:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-20 11:30:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus, Noonie, I'd have thought you'd be all about using protection given the industry you work in.
So who's the father?
-------
more of a question of who isn't.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-09-20 12:35:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Apollo HAS to be Sauron. A Great Vast Blazing Red Bulbous Eye. Only with a Great Vast Blazing Red Bulbous other Eye and Great Vast Blazing Red Bulbous Head too.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-09-20 12:26:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess I'd better read the book and get to work then.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-09-20 12:20:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-09-20 10:32:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think the longest time I've spent in Wiltshire has been on the M4. With good reason.
Though I do rather like Leigh Delamere services. Then I don't think that's in Wilts'.
Top notch services though. Eastbound is my personal favourite, it slightly edges West.
So good I'd hold in a wee all the way from Membury, just to use their fine facilities. """
pah!
Knutsford services is where it is at.
They have a BK and KFC.
Berty - i want to be something evil.
Like Delia.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-09-20 12:03:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I lost it at, "Caulaincourt, Son of a bitch"
Berty is the new pink.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-09-20 12:01:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-20 11:30:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus, Noonie, I'd have thought you'd be all about using protection given the industry you work in.
So who's the father?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-09-20 11:17:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am surprised no-one did this when the movie came out. I suppose that was five years ago now.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-09-20 11:08:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I AM NOT!!!
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-09-20 11:07:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-09-20 11:03:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ethnocentric
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-09-20 10:59:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Noonie is the preggers....pass it along
apparently
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-09-20 10:58:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can't I be a Black Rider? Kracka can't be all of them. I'll be Khamûl of the North East. Or something
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-09-20 10:47:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Superb.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2006-09-20 10:46:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-09-20 10:44:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-09-20 10:38:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
I will not be a cunting hobbit.
---------------
Fool of a took that you are, I doubt you have much choice. I will make sure that the wizard shandythenotghey makes multiple references to your allstars.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-09-20 10:38:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I will not be a cunting hobbit.
Submitted by jade_digitalmedia (user info) at 2006-09-20 10:37:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I fully enjoyed this, you earned you marks. 8> jade
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-09-20 10:32:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think the longest time I've spent in Wiltshire has been on the M4. With good reason.
Though I do rather like Leigh Delamere services. Then I don't think that's in Wilts'.
Top notch services though. Eastbound is my personal favourite, it slightly edges West.
So good I'd hold in a wee all the way from Membury, just to use their fine facilities.
Submitted by livEvil (user info) at 2006-09-20 10:18:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was decent eventhough LOTR was way overrated.
plus two.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-09-20 10:15:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
derka derka dervel of hertfordshire?
has dervel moved up in the world from norfolk-on-wee ?
at this rate he'll hit merseyside within a decade!
ahhhh! good old merseyside where the street are paved with syringes.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-09-20 10:12:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i had a dream about one of your stories.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-09-20 10:11:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Give me more!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-20 10:06:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope I can be a big gay elf.
Unless even the elves are british in this to-do.
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2006-09-20 10:04:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Go for it. It's a really good idea
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-09-20 09:59:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know if I'm actually capable of re-writing the entirety of Lord of the Rings in parody form but maybe I should. It'll give me something to do until Grand Theft Auto: The Known Universe comes out.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-09-20 09:58:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*hums lotr theme*
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2006-09-20 09:57:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Swindon's better than where I live. Have you ever heard of a little place called 'The Middle of Fuck All'? I think it's buried beneath Hades on most maps.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-09-20 09:55:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2006-09-20 09:43:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-09-20 09:18:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
No one on Uber actually lives in a '-shire' so I decided you were the closest thing to Bilbo Baggins I'd ever met. Quite an honour really.
---
I live in Wiltshire
--------------------------
I live in Wiltshire too, Swindon.
It's a shit hole of epic proportions. Some girl was found dead in the town centre just a couple of days ago, and the police are so stupid they have absolutely no idea what the fuck happened.
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2006-09-20 09:43:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-09-20 09:18:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
No one on Uber actually lives in a '-shire' so I decided you were the closest thing to Bilbo Baggins I'd ever met. Quite an honour really.
---
I live in Wiltshire
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2006-09-20 09:42:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
NEVER TRUST ENGLISH CUNTS
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-09-20 09:42:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How so, Bertrude, how so? My feet are small and hairless (and unwebbed, thank you very much, Mr Badger).
Where's that snivelling wretch, BreadPiesDon'tBake? You should write him in as a tree. He's got loads of character experience from his school plays.
Submitted by The_Mighty_Badger (user info) at 2006-09-20 09:30:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hertfordshire is the MOST important of all the shires. Dervel you have probably been asked before, but are your parents siblings? That's the sort of thing that goes on in Norfolk (or so I am led to believe).
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-09-20 09:18:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No one on Uber actually lives in a '-shire' so I decided you were the closest thing to Bilbo Baggins I'd ever met. Quite an honour really.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-09-20 09:18:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny as fuck!
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-09-20 09:18:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MY PRECIOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSesssesssssssssssss!
I wondered where it went.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-09-20 09:05:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dervel is not from Halfordshire, or whatever the bobbins that irrelevant county was called.
I'm from Norfolk. That's why I'm so dashing and cool and why I excrete jammy centred poo.
I am lactose tolerant. I fear not your dairy products.
And don't you forget it.
Submitted by paint_it_black (user info) at 2006-09-20 09:03:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Darkness crept back into the site"
____________
i HOPE THAT WAS ABOUT ME i WOULD BE SO PROUD
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2006-09-20 08:51:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I really really hate LotR, if not for the shitty movies, then for all the asshatness it caused.
But as far as asshattery goes, this was pretty funny.
Submitted by The_Mighty_Badger (user info) at 2006-09-20 08:31:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dervel is from Hertfordshire? I'm from Hertfordshire. Or was. Very funny.
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2006-09-20 08:28:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If ever a post there was, this is it.
Or something.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-09-20 08:19:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-09-20 08:12:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-09-20 08:01:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty that was excellent..
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-09-20 07:59:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
point five
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-09-20 07:58:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
worthy of a 1
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2006-09-20 07:56:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well I'm Ja'aime Anglaise Rocco!
Everybody loves Rocco.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-09-20 07:54:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Butters, I will endeavour to cast you as Gimli then.
If I do another one that is. And I probably won't.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-09-20 07:53:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
J'aime Anglais Chocco. And yes Uberbrits are like hobbits; you can learn everything there is to learn about them in a month but even after a year they can still surprise you.
Except Dervel of course.
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2006-09-20 07:52:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Leet of the Ranks. This is brilliant.
Although if I show up later as a fucking hobbit I'm going to cry. Am I swearing too much recently? I think I might be.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2006-09-20 07:50:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You trying to say that Uberbrits are like hobbits?!
Fuck you man!
Your the Hobbit.
Good story though...
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-09-20 07:47:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*shrug* I guess even a stopped clock tells the right time two times a day.
I nearly made you the gheylord Method. I decided against it though, I may want to do another of these, and I can think of another use for you.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-09-20 07:44:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This should suffice.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-09-20 07:44:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And fuck the god damn scroll button....
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-09-20 07:43:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-09-20 07:40:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
This was hysterical, you're too funny sometimes
------------------------
Just in time.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-09-20 07:43:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Funny, yes. Brits, hahaha. Your ponytail, hahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahashhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Bellend below.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-09-20 07:40:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was hysterical, you're too funny sometimes