Women of Ubersite... (3390 hits)
Category: Politics -> AfghanistanRating: 1.53 on 141 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Anansie (View user info) at 2006-09-21 15:52:57 EDT
Do you consider yourself wank-worthy? How happy are you with your body?
Last night my boyfriend visited my new place for the first time. He lives forty minutes away, and normally, I just drive to his house. (Before you all start calling him some sort of pimp: since I have lived in this city, I have always had roommates, and his house is more private, and therefore, more visitor-friendly. Oh, who am I kidding, I only drop by to give him his 90 percent.) However, when my roommate said she was going away for the week, I jumped at the chance to christen my new home. Needless to say, we were both a little excited at the prospect. Being together two and a half years has many, many benefits. However, we've been together so long that the chance of having sex in a new place, any new place, is the Holy Grail of fucking. Granted, screwing on my new bed isn't quite as exciting as running off the road at 2 am because driving a stick shift with a girl in your lap is apparently quite difficult (ahh youth), but we make do.
Anyway, he arrived early in the evening. I put dinner in the oven. No that is not a shitty metaphor; I preheated the oven and everything. Shut up. We had about thirty minutes to kill while waiting for the food, and this at least seemed like enough time to get started. It was only supposed to be foreplay, but I suppose the good thing about dating me is that I am fairly straight to the point when it comes to sex, so when the timer went off, it was more than a little interruption.
"Are you going to get that?"
"Fuck it. It can go for a few minutes longer."
He looked at me skeptically. "How close are you?"
"Pretty close."
And so we recommenced. It was feeling quite good; however, this was not technically my place to burn down, and being a woman, this slight interruption was enough to throw me off my game.
"Shit, I can't concentrate like this. Hold on."
"Dammit, Kim."
"Just hold on."
The living room has two large, glass, double doors covered with what I thought were substantial enough curtains for me to run pell-mell naked through the living room. I dashed into the kitchen, more in a hurry to return to the bedroom than out of any sense of shame over my nakedness. Anyway, the lighting in the living room and kitchen was low enough to make me think I was safe. As I ran through however, I did see a few people on their back porch through a gap in the kitchen curtains. I didn't think about what they might be doing or seeing; my mind was elsewhere. Once I got into the kitchen, I grabbed the nearest towel (I was in too big of a hurry to find potholders) and nearly burned myself in an effort to get the casserole dish out of the oven. I set it on the stove and, mission accomplished, ran through the house, again by the double doors (I suppose you see where this is going), back into the bedroom, where we were able to finish what we started.
Afterwards, my man went out on the porch to have a smoke while I finished preparing dinner. When we sat down to eat, he looked at over the window (the dining area was right next to an open archway leading to the living room), and then at me.
"Do you realize that while I was outside smoking, I could see everything going on behind those curtains? In great detail?"
"Well no. I thought the lighting was low enough-"
"It's not."
"Oh." I got up, and looked out the curtains at the two men drinking beer on their back porch about fifty feet away (My backyard is a joke, obviously).
"Maybe they didn't see anything."
"They were laughing when I came outside."
"That doesn't mean anything."
"I don't know..."
"Well at the very least they got some spank material."
"Thanks. It's very comforting for me to know your neighbors are going to be thinking of you when they whack off tonight
----
Unfortunately for you, uber, this conversation got me thinking... and guys, you can answer me on this too. It's not that I think I'm so hot. I'm alright, I guess. But isn't a live naked person (ok, I know some of you have never seen that, but try to imagine), that you can see with your own eyes more... interesting... than some "hottie" on TV or in a magazine? I've always thought this to be true. After all, a bush in real life is worth two on a page, isn't it? I feel this way about men as well as women. I've considered the most of the men I've dated to be more interesting, and yes, more attractive, than the untouchably hot men fed to me by the media. The simple reason is this: they're real.
What do you have to say? (Besides you suck, -2 die, etc, etc.)
Google image search for "mmmm spanking":
User Reviews
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-11 17:32:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes. I've been saying this for a while.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2008-03-11 16:46:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Roast beef curtains?
Submitted by Paralyzed_By_Hope (user info) at 2007-10-09 16:42:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not only do I emphasize with the Holy Grail feeling of finding a glimmer of privacy. Roommates suck. Especially ones that never go out of town. But I totally know the queasy feeling you get when you realize you've been being sex-watched. Like the lesbian who lived next door to me sophmore year, who told me at the end of the semester that she could see through my window while she was in bed, and who watched me with a smile on her face as I realized my boyfriend and I never remembered to close the shades.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-11 10:07:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 YOU HAVE A BAJINER
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-09-26 13:58:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Were they French double-doors?
Submitted by viciousness63 (user info) at 2006-09-24 23:55:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd do it.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-09-21 18:41:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
FIFTH!
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Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-09-21 18:29:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DrSeussman (user info) at 2006-09-21 17:28:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:43:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:41:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's put together a Strokeable Womenz of Ubersite post.
Ladies, get into your most coy or suggestive postures, and wear whatever you think will get the men (and women, you tramps) to bust a nut or ovary with you in mind.
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I second this motion....
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Third, do I hear a fourth?
---------
Fourth!
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And Anansie, I've seen your camwhore, you're absolutely beautiful.
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2006-09-24 20:26:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Once I was really drunk in college (the date doesn't really stick out as I was drunk for most of college), and I woke up to the sound of some rattling of metal and banging noises from the backyard at 6am. I looked out the window and couldn't figure out where all the racket was coming from, so I stumbled over to the door in my bedroom that used to lead to a 2nd floor patio and now lead out to a void and a drop down into the backyard. I opened it and noticed one of the townies collecting cans from the remnants from the party we had thrown the night before. I didn't say anything as I was still fairly drunk and negotiating my way over to the door had used all my drunken energy reserves. Standing there for a few moments I couldn't figure out why he was just looking at me weird and why I was growing very cold. Low and behold when I am drunk and pass out in bed I do one of two things, either I fall asleep completely clothed or take every stitch of clothes off. Apparently I was in a naked mood when I passed out, bc I was standing at the edge of the door without any clothes on. The townie just started yelling for me to let him in, I finally cleared my brain enough to take stock of the situation and jumped into bed.
He continued to bang on the back door calling me a tease and a frigid bitch for not letting him in, waking up my roomates who eventually made their way into my room asking what the hell was wrong with the guy in the back yard. I lied and told them he was probably crazy.
Yeah, Im not the exhibitionist type.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2006-09-24 07:29:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-09-24 06:10:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-09-23 03:29:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yup!
I've always been sort of an exhibitionist...not that I want people to watch or invite them....but if they happen to catch a glance, oh well. I would do the same and its human nature to watch.
You pass by a car crash on the highway. You don't want to look, but you do. Same thing.
--------
There's an intersection near my house where one road ducks beneath the other road, and the right and left turns are all obviously made on the higher road. Well, last night two drunk guys in a red pickup tried to turn right from the high road to the low, but didnt manage to turn their vehicle, so they slammed into the barrier. The car stopped, but both guys flew through the windshield and onto the road beneath them. One guy was hit by a car after he fell.
Did I look? I parked my car at a nightclub and got out so I could get a better view of the medical workers as they loaded the guys into ambulances.
I dont ever dance naked on my front lawn, though. It's only kind of the same thing.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-09-24 05:11:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Corinne's pregnant? I always knew that girl was a liar. Bullshit, Corinne is the queen of shenanigans.
However, I hear Bart is in the process of secretly administering fertility drugs to every female on Ubersite in hopes of creating an entire race of "followers" who ultimately take over the world.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-09-24 04:40:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A live naked person is more appealing than a nonliving naked person, almost always.
But I'd much rather watch a sex scene with Johnny Depp than, say, your beer-bellied neighbor pervs getting it on.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-09-24 04:04:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh, and this.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-09-24 04:03:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-09-21 18:41:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
FIFTH!
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Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-09-21 18:29:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DrSeussman (user info) at 2006-09-21 17:28:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:43:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:41:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's put together a Strokeable Womenz of Ubersite post.
Ladies, get into your most coy or suggestive postures, and wear whatever you think will get the men (and women, you tramps) to bust a nut or ovary with you in mind.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I second this motion....
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Third, do I hear a fourth?
---------
Fourth!
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sixth. unfortunately the girls who will respond to the call are the ones who are in the most dire needs of compliments. know what i mean?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-23 12:55:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
COME ON LADIES.
YOU KNOW YOU WANT ANONYMOUS MENZ STROKING IT TO YOUR PROVOCATIVE PIX.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-09-23 12:31:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:35:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't think there's any point to this contest, as only one person has submitted an entry. Maybe it should be turned over to Method, since he seems good at cajoling women into giving up suggestive photos.
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yet he hasn't broken me.
:p
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-09-23 12:16:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
category - polotics --> afghanistan
just saw that...
Submitted by SkinnyKenny (user info) at 2006-09-23 08:57:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Absolutely. The real is ALWAYS much more provacative than photos, movies, etc.
I wouldn't be concerned, just let the hidden exhibitionist in you savor the memory... and remember to hang some heavier drapes if you don't want an encore apppearance in strangers' fantasies.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-09-23 03:29:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yup!
I've always been sort of an exhibitionist...not that I want people to watch or invite them....but if they happen to catch a glance, oh well. I would do the same and its human nature to watch.
You pass by a car crash on the highway. You don't want to look, but you do. Same thing.
Eh, fuck it. Have fun and who cares who thinks what and who see's what. You're a pretty lady and if I were on the patio I'd watch you guys too. It's hot!
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-23 03:05:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-22 00:25:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
Do it. They are hot.
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Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-22 00:24:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe I'll dress up as a UFC fighter for Halloween.
=======
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-22 00:23:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
I <3 the boys of the UFC
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OH HELL YES
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2006-09-23 02:54:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yarr
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-09-23 02:53:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:33:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
I had a guy friend, who whenever I hugged him, I loved to bury my face in his neck because he always smelled so good.
===
My best friend has magic pheremones, too. He doesn't have to wear anything, he just smells so fucking good all the time. I did the neck thing just a few minutes ago.
Yum.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-09-22 17:51:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
a live real naked woman is way hotter than a tv slut in a magazine
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2006-09-22 14:40:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
my girlfriend is damn near irresistable when heavily pregnant and naked. she roxxors my coxxors.
Submitted by GutterOfCops (user info) at 2006-09-22 14:37:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
shut up whore
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-09-22 14:29:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:20:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahahahaha. i'll send out model releases, that'll be the extent of my participation.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Katy, I DEMAND sexually provocative photos of you in your underwear.
They can be sent directly to antius777.at.yahoo.com
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2006-09-22 14:13:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The guy I'm with now pretty regularly requests me to dress up in short skirts and tank tops and strip while he masturbates to me... I was always sort of cocky before that but this actually made me feel kinda shy at first. Then, noticing his reaction to me, I became more comfortable with my body, and by some weird twist of fate the last bit of weight that had been making me self-concious just seemed to melt awaw on its own... The attention I get from guys and the way my man looks at me definitely makes me confident to say that yes, I think boys would (and should!) jack off to images of me...
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:35:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't think there's any point to this contest, as only one person has submitted an entry. Maybe it should be turned over to Method, since he seems good at cajoling women into giving up suggestive photos.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:33:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought you would be one of the ones who said "real," Berty. Everytime someone posts a picture of someone they think is hot, he calls them something along the lines of boring. Maybe I'm thinking of someone else.
I guess one of the points I should have made was that, with a real person, you can get close enough to smell her, touch her, smile at her and have her smile back, etc. Same with men.
I had a guy friend, who whenever I hugged him, I loved to bury my face in his neck because he always smelled so good. God, I thought of him many times whilst satisfying myself. He was way sexier to me than any other guy. Come to think of it, I haven't fantasized about someone from the media during masturbation since I was a teenager. Eventually they just stopped being real enough. Although women respond differently to visual stimuli than men, so maybe that's why.
I just realized, there are very few slang terms for female masturbation. Guys have "jerk off" "whack off," "wank," "spanking the monkey," as well as tons of lesser used phrases. What do we have? I can't think of any.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:20:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahahahaha. i'll send out model releases, that'll be the extent of my participation.
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:15:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I submitted my entry!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-22 10:09:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Noonie -
http://www.ubersite.com/m/93354#2151387
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-09-22 09:37:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 17:33:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ahh. I must go now. My boyfriend is here. If the girls are up for this idea, go ahead and email me, triggerhappyannie.at.yahoo.com, with the subject line, um... how about SPANKWORTHY.
Warning: I doubt I will participate in this myself. So if there are objections, an actual participant can run this thing.
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what idea?
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-09-22 08:55:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-09-22 08:44:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was thinking about this post last night when I was trying to fall asleep. I also wanted to say that the guys weren't laughing AT YOU, they were laughing because you dorks had the s-e-x and didn't know they were watching.
But I'm sure you know that.
You remind me of Durae for some reason. Everyone is reminding me of someone else lately. I mean, all uber people.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-09-22 06:33:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
One day, if I ever get to see a naked woman, I'm gonna know exactly how to act.
This site is very informative.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-09-22 06:14:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In real life naked women don't look as good as women in magazines who have the benefit of lighting, makeup and the best photo out of a thousand. In real life women have skin that creases and moves because it contains bones and organs and things. Women in real life taste better though.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-09-22 03:55:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this will most likely happen to me at some inopportune time.
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2006-09-22 03:15:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I dated two men who have told me that they masturbated to my image before we got together. The law of averages tells me that one or two of my office workers must have done likewise. All I can hope for is that I performed well. Nothing is more embarrassing than making it to the majors only to get demoted after the first game.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2006-09-22 03:00:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i have a naked woman laying next to me right now. i'm going to put this laptop down and grope her while she sleeps.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-09-22 02:45:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2006-09-22 02:27:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Naked women kick ass.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-22 00:26:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Didn't see any of his amateur stuff. Is he going into UFC. Jesus. Those guys don't fuck around.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-22 00:25:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do it. They are hot.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-22 00:24:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe I'll dress up as a UFC fighter for Halloween.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-22 00:24:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh it was special coley. I even lit a cigarette and everything.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-22 00:23:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I <3 the boys of the UFC
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-22 00:20:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you ever see him do any of his amateur wrestling?
The guy can move on the mat.
He should really be concerned about longevity, and his well being. He's banged up enough as is, he doesn't need some MMA injuries to boot.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-22 00:20:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 22:59:53 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-09-21 22:49:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-21 20:04:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 19:07:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy crap. Most heated.
===========================
Well, it does talk about you, naked, and wanking.
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It's my first time. Consider my most heated cherry popped.
===========
I'm glad I could help with the..uh..gangbang?
(cmon I'm not trying to be insensitive but clearly it was a group effort)
As a side note I hope that it is more special for you than it was for that one guy I sorta banged and found out he was a first-timer..I would have lit some candles, at least. He shoulda told the truth.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-22 00:18:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
He's so funny looking, though. I can't imagine him having any grace about it.
HEAT.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-22 00:15:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well have some more heat, then.
Did you hear that Kurt Angle wants to give mixed martial arts a try?
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-22 00:08:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That would SO work. I can't.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-22 00:03:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just add a camwhore at the end and repost.
You'll get a higher rating, and you'll get both posts on heated.
Blammo.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 23:57:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-21 23:52:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
REPOST.
Do it.
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Reposting is masturbation. Without the satisfaction at the end.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-21 23:52:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
REPOST.
Do it.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 23:49:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
See now I wish I had labeled this as "Attn: Women of ubersite."
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 22:59:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-09-21 22:49:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-21 20:04:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 19:07:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy crap. Most heated.
===========================
Well, it does talk about you, naked, and wanking.
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It's my first time. Consider my most heated cherry popped.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-09-21 22:49:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-21 20:04:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 19:07:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy crap. Most heated.
===========================
Well, it does talk about you, naked, and wanking.
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2006-09-21 22:35:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
one of my best friends is dating a model(not like a well known model but a model none the less) and in her pics she is kinda cute but when i met her she was very hot and i think it has more to do with the fact that i got to know her. so i guess i have to go with live girls but i have never wanked it to a girl that i have seen naked live. unless i have had sex with them. and even then it is usually the freaky ones. there is too much porn on the net that i haven't seen to think about live girls. although even in the porn chicks i like are not the hottest in the world they have that girl next door look.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-21 22:11:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-09-21 21:21:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
You're very pretty, from what I can tell. Not that that will help you.
I was pissed at my boyfriend the other day. It was the total cliche conversation:
"If you could fuck a celebrity, who would it be?" he asked.
"Um... nobody", I replied, as I knew I should. "What about you?"
"Uh... nobody" he said.
"Oh come on, if you asked, you must have had someone in mind...!"
"Well, okay... Since you asked... Fran Drescher is pretty hot. She has like... the perfect figure." then he excitedly added, "So is [I forget her name]from The Water Boy."
"I don't know who that is."
"She has dark hair, light eyes..."
At which point I couldn't help but think of how both of the women he thinks are hot have dark hair while I sit across from him with my stupid redish tinted light brown almost blonde hair. And my hugely swollen 7 month pregnant stomach. And the donut in my hand, approaching my mouth.
But then I did the totally stupid and insecure thing of dying my hair darker (the very next day). I was feeling a little stupid, thinking he'd come home and laugh at me for dying my hair dark just because he mentioned thinking two particular dark haired women were hot.
But no, he said, "Woooow! Your hair looks really hot like that!".
ARGH!
=======
HAR HAR PREGNANCY HORMONES
you probably permanently harmed your fetus. God, good job. Hope it was worth it.
JUST KIDDING
in other news, I was about to dye my hair last Sunday and got it all wet and tied a towel around my neck Super(wo)man style and opened the box and realized some fucking asshole opened it at the store and took out one of the bottles...so NO NEW HAIR COLOR FOR ME
:(
twas going to be a bit more reddish. Maybe next week.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-09-21 21:21:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're very pretty, from what I can tell. Not that that will help you.
I was pissed at my boyfriend the other day. It was the total cliche conversation:
"If you could fuck a celebrity, who would it be?" he asked.
"Um... nobody", I replied, as I knew I should. "What about you?"
"Uh... nobody" he said.
"Oh come on, if you asked, you must have had someone in mind...!"
"Well, okay... Since you asked... Fran Drescher is pretty hot. She has like... the perfect figure." then he excitedly added, "So is [I forget her name]from The Water Boy."
"I don't know who that is."
"She has dark hair, light eyes..."
At which point I couldn't help but think of how both of the women he thinks are hot have dark hair while I sit across from him with my stupid redish tinted light brown almost blonde hair. And my hugely swollen 7 month pregnant stomach. And the donut in my hand, approaching my mouth.
But then I did the totally stupid and insecure thing of dying my hair darker (the very next day). I was feeling a little stupid, thinking he'd come home and laugh at me for dying my hair dark just because he mentioned thinking two particular dark haired women were hot.
But no, he said, "Woooow! Your hair looks really hot like that!".
ARGH!
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-21 20:04:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 19:07:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy crap. Most heated.
===========================
Well, it does talk about you, naked, and wanking.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-09-21 19:51:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yay heat.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 19:07:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy crap. Most heated.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 19:06:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-09-21 18:14:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
this girl and i were shagging in a park in an area we thought was relatively secluded. oh who wrong we were, as about 9 or 10 different people walked right by. one dude even stopped for a few seconds.
didnt stop me blowing on her face, though.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Getting a load blown on my face in front of ten people sounds very embarassing. I'd never make it as a porn star.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-09-21 19:03:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-09-21 18:14:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
this guy and i were shagging in a park in an area we thought was relatively gay-friendly. oh how wrong we were, as about 9 or 10 different people walked right by. one dude even stopped for a few seconds of ass-ramming.
didnt stop me blowing on his chocolate covered face, though.
-----------------------
That's gross Sam.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-09-21 18:46:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love real women. I find real women attractive and then, out of nowhere, a celebrity will pop out lookng just like the person I am Idolizing.
I knew this chick in High School that looked uncannily like Kelly Clarkson. Of course, this was years before American Idol and I thought she was one of the hottest girls I had ever seen. I would marry Kelly Clarkson right now if she would have me if only for an hour. Maybe even 42 seconds.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-09-21 18:41:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well said Kaos.
3 - I way prefer "normal" live chicks. Hell, even the celebrities I find hot would be considered "normal" looking. Rachael Leigh Cook, Summer Glau, Shannon Sossamon, Amy Lee... none of them are model/porn stars - which is why I like them. I think porn stars and most celebrities look fake and plastic. I know girls who really are unphotogenic, but you spend a half hour with them, you're in love. I also think maturity plays a big role in this. As men grow older, they realize that the fantasy girl doesn't really exist and they come to appreciate the girl next door even more.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-09-21 18:41:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FIFTH!
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-09-21 18:29:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DrSeussman (user info) at 2006-09-21 17:28:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:43:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:41:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's put together a Strokeable Womenz of Ubersite post.
Ladies, get into your most coy or suggestive postures, and wear whatever you think will get the men (and women, you tramps) to bust a nut or ovary with you in mind.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I second this motion....
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Third, do I hear a fourth?
---------
Fourth!
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-09-21 18:14:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this girl and i were shagging in a park in an area we thought was relatively secluded. oh who wrong we were, as about 9 or 10 different people walked right by. one dude even stopped for a few seconds.
didnt stop me blowing on her face, though.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-21 17:38:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah, yes.
Real men/boys are so much hotter.
Imperfections = yummy.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-21 17:37:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well Anansie although you said you aren't asking if YOU are wankworthy, I would imagine thaty ou are. You are a cute girl with a fun attitude so I would think that's about the right combination.
As for myself, I have my days of going back and forth about how I feel about my body. Overall I think I am fairly average and I have my good days. Mr coley is pretty quick to tell me that he is certain that "all of our friends" want me..I don't know if that's true, but it is a nice thing to hear. I hear a lot more compliments from him and some of my girlfriends than I would ever give myself, but that is probably also in part due to the fact that I've taken to working out and taking better care of myself, etc in the last 9 months or so. Feeling physically stronger and better helps you carry yourself better.
I've also done the naked dash across the house (about two days ago, actually) forgetting that windows aren't covered..part of me hopes that nobody sees me, and part of me says the same thing you said, "well, at least they got some new wank material."
Unfortunately the only hot neighbor I have has no windows through which I can peep at him. Fackin garages, blocking views and such.
There was something else I was going to say but it's probably not important.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-09-21 17:35:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
on further speculation, I think I was thinking of ankaira.
I probably won't participate either.. but good luck with it!
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-09-21 17:35:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 17:33:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ahh. I must go now. My boyfriend is here. If the girls are up for this idea, go ahead and email me, triggerhappyannie.at.yahoo.com, with the subject line, um... how about SPANKWORTHY.
Warning: I doubt I will participate in this myself. So if there are objections, an actual participant can run this thing.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-09-21 17:32:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1 - This was a good post and you're pretty adorable.
2 - One day, I will make Inion_De_Trua have an orgasm. One day......
3 - I way prefer "normal" live chicks. Hell, even the celebrities I find hot would be considered "normal" looking. Rachael Leigh Cook, Summer Glau, Shannon Sossamon, Amy Lee... none of them are model/porn stars - which is why I like them. I think porn stars and most celebrities look fake and plastic. I know girls who really are unphotogenic, but you spend a half hour with them, you're in love. I also think maturity plays a big role in this. As men grow older, they realize that the fantasy girl doesn't really exist and they come to appreciate the girl next door even more.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 17:30:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WOMEN OF UBER.... WHORE YOURSELVES OUT SO I CAN GET HITS!
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 17:30:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-09-21 17:16:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
I was actually thinking that since O-man can't, this might be a good follow-up post for you, Anansie.
Aren't you legal now? And weren't at for the boobs-of-uber post? (I could be wrong.. frequently am)
---------------------------------------
You must be thinking of someone else, dearie. I haven't appeared in a boobs of uber post and don't really have a desire to do so. But this is a pretty good idea, I suppose. I could gather photos, and post them, and the dudes could vote.
Submitted by DrSeussman (user info) at 2006-09-21 17:28:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:43:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:41:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's put together a Strokeable Womenz of Ubersite post.
Ladies, get into your most coy or suggestive postures, and wear whatever you think will get the men (and women, you tramps) to bust a nut or ovary with you in mind.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I second this motion....
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Third, do I hear a fourth?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-09-21 17:21:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:56:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
hehe
I'm 8 months pregnant. Not wankworthy at all.
---
good god - I'll wager each of your breasts has its own postcode...
Submitted by DrSeussman (user info) at 2006-09-21 17:20:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For category>politics>Afghanistan! That's some great shiat. Yeah real life WAY better. No doubt.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-09-21 17:16:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was actually thinking that since O-man can't, this might be a good follow-up post for you, Anansie.
Aren't you legal now? And weren't at for the boobs-of-uber post? (I could be wrong.. frequently am)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 17:05:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
I think O and Crystle should discuss this idea in further detail. A lot. On my post.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-21 17:15:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2006-09-21 17:07:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:56:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
hehe
I'm 8 months pregnant. Not wankworthy at all.
---------
don't short yourself. pregnant chicks are hott.
---
And hey, you can't get them pregnant.
It's all smiles, rocking hips and blowing a load inside her all over the sleeping baby's head.
I hate that this post has more reviews than mine.
:(
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 17:07:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:16:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Great post.
I think I am. My personality seals the deal
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aren't you the chick with big tits and long legs? Of course you're spank-worthy.
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2006-09-21 17:07:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:56:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
hehe
I'm 8 months pregnant. Not wankworthy at all.
---------
don't short yourself. pregnant chicks are hott.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 17:05:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think O and Crystle should discuss this idea in further detail. A lot. On my post.
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-09-21 17:03:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:56:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
hehe
I'm 8 months pregnant. Not wankworthy at all.
----------
I'd wank to it.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-21 17:00:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:57:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
honest rating? Who does that?!?!
And O-man... There's a post in that idea for you. TOMORROW - do a call to action.
the way I figure it, we all need updated myspace poses anyhow.
---
I've got to post the pairings for Grueberfest tomorrow.
It'd probably be better if a woman did it anyway - women would respond better to one of their own.
I totally call dibs on being the all-father of this, though. I get a look at everything that's submitted before it's time to post the finished product.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:57:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
honest rating? Who does that?!?!
And O-man... There's a post in that idea for you. TOMORROW - do a call to action.
the way I figure it, we all need updated myspace poses anyhow.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:56:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hehe
I'm 8 months pregnant. Not wankworthy at all.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:56:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
your goddess photo?"
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:55:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's actually kind of cool to get a retal, -2 for once, though. I mean, for fuck's sake, I've been here since January 2004.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:55:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
but it liked my goddess photo so i guess everything is peachy
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:53:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
livevils an uppity one. geesh.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:53:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
People are so fucking touchy. That's why it's impossible to give an honest rating.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:52:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by livEvil (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:48:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:33:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and so you know, these "how to make ubersite better" posts have been done over and over. Ubersite is what it is. There is no better, no worse. I didn't give you a -2 because I thought this didn't completely suck. It's nice to know you are mature enough to handle a -1.
Then again, some say you are an alter, so why bother.
---------------------------
At what point did i claim to be innovative? Did you read what i wrote? It was supposed to be a joke. Nothing more, Nothing less. I don't mind -2's when there's a reason. You simply asked a question which took to your post to make sure you got your answer.
Oh btw, i gave you a -2 because your story sucked. I actually took the time to read it.
Sorry if I offended you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You didn't offend me. It's the internet for fuck's sake. If you thought the story sucked, more power to you. What I write isn't everyone's cup o' tea. I assumed it was retal, because you included my comment from your post. I'm just going to respond here, because this post to post "arguing" is bullshit. Say what you want. I could give two shits. And yes, I read what you wrote. Notice the comment by -1. It says, "I've seen better."
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:51:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:48:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:20:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
twiddle???
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, yeah, it's kinda like twiddling your thumbs, only...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ehhhh,still not getting it...If you could create a visual diagram....yeh, that would be great.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:48:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:20:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
twiddle???
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, yeah, it's kinda like twiddling your thumbs, only...
Submitted by livEvil (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:48:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:33:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and so you know, these "how to make ubersite better" posts have been done over and over. Ubersite is what it is. There is no better, no worse. I didn't give you a -2 because I thought this didn't completely suck. It's nice to know you are mature enough to handle a -1.
Then again, some say you are an alter, so why bother.
---------------------------
At what point did i claim to be innovative? Did you read what i wrote? It was supposed to be a joke. Nothing more, Nothing less. I don't mind -2's when there's a reason. You simply asked a question which took to your post to make sure you got your answer.
Oh btw, i gave you a -2 because your story sucked. I actually took the time to read it.
Sorry if I offended you.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:46:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:43:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Good gracious O-man!
Do you REALLY need to bait the noobs like that?
---
Shh...let's see what happens.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:45:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Real is better for me. Then again, I work in an office of hotties.
Am I hot enough to "twiddle" too? I'd say no, but I know that at least one of my friends has before. When one thing lead to another in real life one night, I... um... huh. I should stop this story now. I'll just say that I'm not endowed with 12 inches.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:43:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good gracious O-man!
Do you REALLY need to bait the noobs like that?
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:43:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:41:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's put together a Strokeable Womenz of Ubersite post.
Ladies, get into your most coy or suggestive postures, and wear whatever you think will get the men (and women, you tramps) to bust a nut or ovary with you in mind.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I second this motion...
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:41:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's put together a Strokeable Womenz of Ubersite post.
Ladies, get into your most coy or suggestive postures, and wear whatever you think will get the men (and women, you tramps) to bust a nut or ovary with you in mind.
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:41:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wank??
what, are you in fucking preschool? cum works is straight to the point. you don't need to make up something new to sound cool.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:36:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i wank on my gf's ass, tits & face all the time. she likes it.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:36:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ill aporogize if i wanna!!
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:36:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
After all, a bush in real life is worth two on a page, isn't it?
that line is gold.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:34:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:32:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
sorry :(
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm just kidding around, don't aporogize. I am glad to see you on my post though, you've been MIA.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:32:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
forensic- where's my latest addition to the scrapbook??? You holding out on Shlongy?
The other two have, well, let's just say they've been slightly defaced, if you catch my drift.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:32:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sorry :(
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:31:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:28:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
been good. i said "FUCK" because i wrote alomost the same comment as you http://www.ubersite.com/m/93354#2151216 after you wrote it. when i scrolled back down i saw yours. funny.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I know why you said it, dear. My powers of grasping the obvious are uncanny.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:29:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:18:57 (#)
Ranking: 0
I have received numerous pictures from hot Uber broads - and some not so hot ones - oh, and a few from Method that God knows I didn't ask for - and I've never done anything illegal, immoral or tasteless with any of them.
Well, except jack off to a couple of the more risque ones.
Shlongy has class and is discreet, baby.
-------------
Oh dear
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:28:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
been good. i said "FUCK" because i wrote alomost the same comment as you http://www.ubersite.com/m/93354#2151216 after you wrote it. when i scrolled back down i saw yours. funny.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:28:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and i personally would be a stripper or porn star if i looked like those girls.
but i still get laid a lot so i'm good. yay being a girl!
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:26:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My first retal -2, and I've been here two years! Thanks!
Submitted by livEvil (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:24:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by livEvil (user info) at 2006-09-21 14:56:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 14:43:21 (#)
Ranking: -1
Who are you?
---------------------
Mike Rotch, and you?
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:23:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:17:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:02:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ahh yes, I though you all might agree, but, no one has admitted to finding themselves wank-worthy. I mean, I twiddle to the mirror all the time.
FUCK!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hahaha. How have YOU been?
In other news, this post wasn't me asking uber if I am wank-worthy. I have, unfortunately, had at least three of my guy friends tell me that they thought of me whilst doing so. Then again, even if I were hideous, according to some sources, they'd pretty much want to nail me, too.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:23:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm assuming you'd want comments from the porn aspect of me. ok here goes...
honestly? porn stars are gorgeous. however i'm picky about mine because i don't like scrawny people or ugly faces. the girls i like are gorgeous without make up and are usually "thick" as far as porn standards go, natural or augmented boobs are fine with me. (lanny barby, janine, jezebelle off the top of my head) or at least they have a great ass and aren't sticks. some of them are mothers too. which i think is amazing to have childrend and still be gorgeous. i do not like jenna jameson because i think she's ugly. yes, she's well above me as the american standard of beauty, however, i'd never do her or want to look like her.
i don't like concave stomachs or six packs on girls. i consider belly dancing highly erotic and to do that properly the girl needs to have a little belly. girls need fat on them to be beautiful. i don't like her face and she sure as fuck doesn't roll out of bed that way. i also do not like stabbing bones. the editors here turn down girls for being too skinny. apparently the average male fantasy of blonde with big boobs does not extend to no fat. women should be soft and pliant. having no ass or bones stick out, other than for the natural reason of "you're built that way" is unhealthy and not something to be attained on purpose.
as far as men go, again, no scrawny. i don't personally like anyone who looks like i can beat them up. from the male porn stars i've met, very few of them would i consider fuckable simply because i don't like their faces. my favorites - tommy gunn, jean val jean and scott nails - are mostly what i'd consider my preference as far as eye candy, although scott nails has recently gotten much thinner and i don't like that. i'm perfectly ok with little beer guts, and i don't actually prefer a six pack. it's nice for a body study or if you're naturally built that way, but i'd rather have someone who isn't psychotically anal about keeping their body fat percentage under 4%. if your arms are so big you can't put them down at your side you need to stop hitting the juice. no stick legs either, but no tree legs unless you are a professional athlete.
i don't mind body hair within reason. chest hair, treasure trail (men and women should trim or shave though) men can have leg hair and women do not have to shave every week. i have no problem with that, back and shoulder hair skeeves me out, not just the random strays here and there but the full sweater type. porn standards are mostly shaven all around. i don't care either way, i'd just prefer to not choke on a pube. and tanning is another thing i don't care about. most of the chicks tanned to a degree, just to even skin tone out not to bake themselves brown. the men that did tan usually tanned to the point of sunbaked on an island or they're dark naturally.
porn stars have imperfections just like everyone else. they are mostly NOT airbrushed. if it's a video it's make up, they're not putting airbrushing into the production cost of a porn, sorry girls (and guys) they look like that naturally and their dicks are that big (for the most part). a lot of the girls have stretch marks. my favorite girl has *gasp* cellulite. some of these things can and are covered with make up, for the most part not really. i prefer the girls that are, again, pretty without the glam. another thing to remember, a lot of these girls start out as strippers and still dance. in other words they work out. a lot more than most people. spend 7-8 hours a night dancing on a pole in heels and your ass will probably look like that too.
in the end, go for what you want. if you are madly in love and want to fuck like bunnies all the time then you're probably doing just fine. i don't believe in settling for someone you are physically unattracted to. and that's not shallow. sex is important, without it we obviously wouldn't be here (har har). a good sex life can make a big difference in how you see the rest of the world. if you are unhappy with your mate then let them know or leave them. i am not near top draw for women. for the most part i don't care about this. i'd still never settle for someone i didn't want to bone and i wouldn't bone someone i didn't have a spark with.
anansie - you are not ugly in any way. and you really are pretty hot. personality of course makes you a knock out.
call me dr phillis.
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:20:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
twiddle???
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:19:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Amazingly, getNekked hasn't sent me any from her private stock yet, which I, and most of Uber, probably finds shocking.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:18:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have received numerous pictures from hot Uber broads - and some not so hot ones - oh, and a few from Method that God knows I didn't ask for - and I've never done anything illegal, immoral or tasteless with any of them.
Well, except jack off to a couple of the more risque ones.
Shlongy has class and is discreet, baby.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:18:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:02:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ahh yes, I though you all might agree, but, no one has admitted to finding themselves wank-worthy. I mean, I twiddle to the mirror all the time.
-----
ohh yesssssssssssss
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:17:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:02:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ahh yes, I though you all might agree, but, no one has admitted to finding themselves wank-worthy. I mean, I twiddle to the mirror all the time.
FUCK!
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:16:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i spank it while looking at myself in the mirror ALL the time.
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:16:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great post.
I think I am. My personality seals the deal
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:11:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHA oh noes.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:10:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Real is hot. I think because the scent and taste of a person is such an important part of an experience for me.
Whether I think I'm wank worthy doesn't have much to do with my body- I'm no model. But I'm confident in pursuing my own desires and those of who I'm with. And I know that's hot.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:09:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:04:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
I need a nice picture of you to determine that, anansie, my dear.
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Somehow I knew you'd say that. Somehow, I've always known.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:04:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I need a nice picture of you to determine that, anansie, my dear.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:04:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:01:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh please.
If you had the looks, you all would be strippers that make $10,000/night. Don't lie to yourselves, because you all would probably make more money picking up cans along the highway.
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It's true Bob, we'd all be strippers and porn stars: http://www.ubersite.com/m/34728.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:03:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-09-21 15:59:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
equal amount of hotness i'd say, it's just cooler when there's a real personality attached to it instead of some stupid celebrity crap. so more arousing in real life in the end i guess.
ps, ur hot!! thanks for the mental image.
and i can't get my eyebrow ring screwed back in place.
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Yes, I was very curious to hear your thoughts on this, for obvious reasons.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:02:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ahh yes, I though you all might agree, but, no one has admitted to finding themselves wank-worthy. I mean, I twiddle to the mirror all the time.
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:02:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should post a pic and let us descide if you're "spanking" material.....just a thought. Anyways, My g/f sympathizes with you on the curtains ordeal. I got a couple of high fives from our apt neighbors one night. The next day I came home to new, thicker curtains in the window. Haven't gotten any high five's since....very depressing.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:02:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:01:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh please.
If you had the looks, you all would be strippers that make $10,000/night. Don't lie to yourselves, because you all would probably make more money picking up cans along the highway.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:01:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SpiderGirl, you rock my world!
As for the pictures vs. live nude thing...the pics are better because they're DESIGNED to be better, when you get through with the orange lighting and the icecubes, it's a whole different story.
Let's get Inion in here - I think she'd have the definitive opinion on this, seeing how she's in the industry...
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-21 16:00:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Real people, unless they're your parents, beat 2D peeps any day.
I still remember watching people in college, in the bushes, when they thought no one was the wiser.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-09-21 15:59:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
equal amount of hotness i'd say, it's just cooler when there's a real personality attached to it instead of some stupid celebrity crap. so more arousing in real life in the end i guess.
ps, ur hot!! thanks for the mental image.
and i can't get my eyebrow ring screwed back in place.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-09-21 15:57:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Love the categorization..
And I cant' wait to see the comments.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-09-21 15:56:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome story. There's nothing quite like the "Oh my God, people just saw us doing that" realization.