Whats ya Poison? (732 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.64 on 51 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by retrospect (View user info) at 2006-09-22 10:46:13 EDT
My dad used to tell me if it wasn't for Johnny walker Black, I wouldn't be here. I took this to mean that he had to get drunk to impregnate my mom. I mean, what else would a 10 year old think if their dad said that to them?
Turns out, however, that he meant I would have died in a fiery car accident if my dad hadn't accepted a drink from my uncle.
My uncle had offered him a drink and my dad accepted instead of leaving like we planned. So as we sat on the porch and enjoyed our drinks (I had breast milk in a bottle, not alcohol, I WAS 9 years old, COME ON!) and watched as my cousin left at the moment we would have been leaving.
As she pulled out, an 18 wheeler came by and completely destroyed the station wagon she drove, killing her instantly. It was a shame really; she had the nicest boobs ever. Maybe not ever, but she had the best ones out of all my cousins.
Its getting hard to type right now at the memory of my cousin so I'll get to the point.
What is your usual drink? Mine is the pomegranate martini. Unbelievably tasty, but 9 times out of ten you will get gay bashed as you leave the bar. I'm thinking of switching drinks and need some suggestions.
User Reviews
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-23 01:17:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2006-09-22 16:21:12 (#)
Ranking: 1
I drink Everclear straight out of the bottle... it earns a bit of admiration from the boys in most cases. but since they don't serve that at bars, when i'm out, i tend to go with either wine or anything with a lot of vodka in it.
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OH SHIT
*stocks fridge, starts practicing drinking straight everclear*
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-09-22 18:25:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
When you ask for a gaybashing, you REALLY ask for it...
CUT THAT SHIT OUT, MAN.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-09-22 18:21:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i totally plagiarized you!@!!!!! OMG! IM SOOOO BUSTED!
Submitted by LeaderOfMen (user info) at 2006-09-22 18:20:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/93116
Not 10 days ago...
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-09-22 18:15:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HI JULES!
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-09-22 17:43:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:43:41 (#)
Ranking: 1
I like grey goose and different types of juice.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-09-22 17:36:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi retro.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2006-09-22 16:21:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I drink Everclear straight out of the bottle... it earns a bit of admiration from the boys in most cases. but since they don't serve that at bars, when i'm out, i tend to go with either wine or anything with a lot of vodka in it.
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2006-09-22 14:11:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm a hurricane guy, maself. I don't know how they make it where you're from. But if you like citris, go for the hurricane.
coonasses rule.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:59:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:52:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
obviously I meant "you're cute."
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thanks. now you see why i twiddle in the mirror???
Submitted by GutterOfCops (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:57:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thats a good story brother. As strictly a Weed Smoker i might suggest Barcardi razz, it will fuck you up and doesnt taste like dog piss
well time to smoke
be good brother
Weed
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:52:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
obviously I meant "you're cute."
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:43:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Damn your cute.
I like grey goose and different types of juice. I really like Patron for shots. I drink crown and coke too. I can't always afford the first two though.
I'll pretty much drink anything, though. Sometimes with dire consequences.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:22:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the people in this picture look relatively good with an up close picture with a flash. that means that you are 10 times more good looking than the general populace of loser here who post their myspace angle pics.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:10:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm very fond of Crown Royal Manhattans.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-09-22 12:43:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-09-22 12:39:02 (#)
Ranking: 1
It's Beer usually, but I do loves me some Orange Vodka & Sprite.
And breast milk at 9? ew :)
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i know, its gross. i stopped at 15. gotta grow up sometime i guess
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-09-22 12:39:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It's Beer usually, but I do loves me some Orange Vodka & Sprite.
And breast milk at 9? ew :)
Submitted by livEvil (user info) at 2006-09-22 12:34:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Single barrel jack, corona or crown & coke.
Fuck vodka.
Submitted by DrSeussman (user info) at 2006-09-22 12:06:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by The_Mighty_Badger (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:13:27 (#)
Ranking: -2
Good to see you're still as shit as ever you buck toothed twat. Nice girl, who hit her in the face with a spade?
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BUAHAHAHAHAHA, that being said beer, makers mark, or crown with NO ICE dammit. Or you could just stick to everclear, then if you run out of gas just pour it in your car. Sicosemen, "I push back" classic!
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-09-22 12:01:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I drink beer.
If not it's Cap'n and coke.
Submitted by nya_nyo (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:53:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Johnny Walker Blue label or Maccallan if I'm feeling rich
Otherwise it's Yeungling or #9
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:44:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hemlock
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:39:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm a teetotaller.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:32:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:29:14 (#)
Ranking: 1
http://nymethod.com/images/sexy.jpg
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THAT WAS FUNNIER THAN "I PUSH BACK"
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:29:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:22:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
I push back.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAAHAHA
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:29:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
http://nymethod.com/images/sexy.jpg
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:28:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
TOP 5:
Irish Car Bomb
100 Proof Smirnoff
Hennessey
Patron
Heineken/Corona/Guiness
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:27:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
you're better looking than she is.
jack daniels, sour, straight, or in mountain dew depending on how ghetto i'm being. that's a man drink right there i tell ya!
vodka collins, like mike's but with actual alcohol in it. also a man's drink.
anything with the ending breeze is usually good.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:26:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I push back."
LOL
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:23:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Beer. Yuengling only, if I didn't brew it myself.
On occasion, I'll have a shot of Jagermeister or a Christian Brothers on the rocks, but I'm not too big on liquor.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:22:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And, fagwagon, one other thing, you astute cock holster, my name is Simon. When I was younger, I was dubbed semen, further showing my ability to roll with the punches per say and enjoy humor. Had you not been in the closet, and came out to play you would have put two and two together already.
I push back.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:20:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're still gay...and for future reference I'd like for you to capitalize just the seMAN part, please.
I have a sense of humor, see that line about dragging a woman by the back of the hair...I was only half joking about backhanding her, you're supposed to punch her in the fucking nose until she bleeds on the dress you made her steal, then kick her in the clit for bleeding on it.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:19:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just put two shots of vodka in a snakebite and black.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:19:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
but yeah, you must hate gay stuff since you have the word semen in your name.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:17:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:13:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't live in the south and a real man doesn't drink things with fruit in them unless he wants to be called fruity. That leaves one of two options: A) You are a closet fag. B) You have very effeminate ways and like getting gay bashed.
Yah, everyone should have the option to drink whatever they want, whenever they want but if you wanted a new drink, you shouldn't come here, then get your panties in a ruffle when people call you out.
Besides, to be macho, you have to drag your woman by the hair and backhand her in public, everyone knows that.
Ax, don't you have zits to pick at?
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um sico SEMAN. my reply and this post was a jokey joke. people who dont have daddy issues and homophobic personalities have a sense of humor. its fun!
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:15:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by The_Mighty_Badger (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:13:27 (#)
Ranking: -2
Good to see you're still as shit as ever you buck toothed twat. Nice girl, who hit her in the face with a spade?
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and i still post under tha same name too! unlike you beatjunky, chr15, and whatever other names you've had to change to because you suck so badly.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:13:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't live in the south and a real man doesn't drink things with fruit in them unless he wants to be called fruity. That leaves one of two options: A) You are a closet fag. B) You have very effeminate ways and like getting gay bashed.
Yah, everyone should have the option to drink whatever they want, whenever they want but if you wanted a new drink, you shouldn't come here, then get your panties in a ruffle when people call you out.
Besides, to be macho, you have to drag your woman by the hair and backhand her in public, everyone knows that.
Ax, don't you have zits to pick at?
Submitted by The_Mighty_Badger (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:13:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Good to see you're still as shit as ever you buck toothed twat. Nice girl, who hit her in the face with a spade?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:07:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
A new drink isn't gonna help you from getting gay-bashed.
You need a new head.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:01:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No wonder you turned out to be a dork- Johnny Walker Black blows.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:00:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-09-22 10:58:12 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2006-09-22 10:48:01 (#)
Ranking: -1
Whatever happened to just drinking beer and whiskey?
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No shit....the gheyness is spreading so rapidly.
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LOVE the machismo
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-09-22 11:00:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-09-22 10:52:24 (#)
Ranking: 1
You will get gay bashed everytime leaving the bar, balloon knot knight, what the fuck? When I do capt. and coke, I feel a bit girly. What's next, Mikes Hard Lemonade, or perhaps you'll have a mimosa? Get a set, drink makers' and ginger, crown and ginger, or beer. You can drink fucking O'Douls and look like more of a bad ass then you would with a fucking martini.
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Not everyone lives in the fundamentalist deep south.
Oh, and does your girlfriend come with a saddle?
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Let me rebut with this: http://www.ubersite.com/m/88676
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-09-22 10:59:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Any Toohey's beer though I am liable (thanks to "junyer") to be found drinking a little something called Green Chartreuse.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-09-22 10:59:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha she does have a pointy chin. i love it!
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-09-22 10:58:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2006-09-22 10:48:01 (#)
Ranking: -1
Whatever happened to just drinking beer and whiskey?
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No shit....the gheyness is spreading so rapidly.
Submitted by Cinderblock (user info) at 2006-09-22 10:58:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy fuck.
The chin on that woman could double as a goddamned icepick.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-09-22 10:57:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-09-22 10:52:24 (#)
Ranking: 1
You will get gay bashed everytime leaving the bar, balloon knot knight, what the fuck? When I do capt. and coke, I feel a bit girly. What's next, Mikes Hard Lemonade, or perhaps you'll have a mimosa? Get a set, drink makers' and ginger, crown and ginger, or beer. You can drink fucking O'Douls and look like more of a bad ass then you would with a fucking martini.
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i had a friend that was a mixed up, hug-from-daddy-needing geek like you. he thought all men should drink beer and wear their watches on their left hand. i, on the other hand, think a real man drinks whatever the fuck he wants, and wears his watch on whatever arm he wants.
we cant all be as macho as you
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-09-22 10:52:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You will get gay bashed everytime leaving the bar, balloon knot knight, what the fuck? When I do capt. and coke, I feel a bit girly. What's next, Mikes Hard Lemonade, or perhaps you'll have a mimosa? Get a set, drink makers' and ginger, crown and ginger, or beer. You can drink fucking O'Douls and look like more of a bad ass then you would with a fucking martini.
Oh, and does your girlfriend come with a saddle?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-09-22 10:49:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oooh, fancy. I usually drink Absolut and soda. On Georgia football days, I drink Beam and Coke.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-09-22 10:49:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bushmills if available, Jamesons if its not
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2006-09-22 10:48:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Whatever happened to just drinking beer and whiskey?