Note to self (and any wise Uberuser)... (764 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.22 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sassmasterr (View user info) at 2006-09-22 20:14:11 EDT
...Don't get involved with Puerto Rican women. It never ends good.
Yeah, it's been a while, Uber.
Since last, my life's been ruined over and over again.
I tell you this hoping, not for sympathy, but for someone out there to take pleasure in the rotting cesspool that is my existence. If I were ten years younger I guess I'd have to paint my nails black, wear white makeup, and cut myself. But since I'm the ripe ol' age of 23, I guess I'll just stick to excessive masturbation (is there such a thing?).
It's a scientific fact, Puerto Ricans will ruin your life. They will drag you down, haunt you with their past, and say "I CUT YOU MANG!" while brandishing various kitchen utensils.
Someone come to Cleveland and drink with me. I'm gonna be a father in December...
Tom Yorke: "Here's to getting hitched, Space Ghost. Cheers!"
Space Ghost: "Yeah, let's drink 'til our hearts stop.!"
Seriously, I'll chip in some gas money if you drive to Cleveland and a)drink with me, b)kill me.
User Reviews
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-09-25 16:22:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't get involved with ANY women. It never ends good.
Unless you're a woman. Then it ends up in a bearded clam lovefest.
Submitted by Uberjunkie (user info) at 2006-09-25 14:04:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"...excessive masturbation (is there such a thing?)."
Not really.
I liked the "I'll cut you mang!" Very funny, but not worth the +2.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-09-24 15:16:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2006-09-23 19:51:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
AUTO GAY HAIR -2
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-23 04:02:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://gabbly.com/http://www.ubersite.com
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-09-23 03:59:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sassy.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-09-23 02:44:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have missed you so.,,,
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-23 01:49:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It's been quite the uh, year or so for you; eh?
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2006-09-22 23:36:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ps- i'd come to cleveland, but it's boring as shit. everytime i go there i'm bored out of my fucking mind. cleveland most certainly does not "rock".
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2006-09-22 23:35:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i used to love puerto rican chicks. yes, they were insane, but still worth it. until the last one. one day i forgot to call her and got a text message from her saying "i will cut you. -christine". i got out of that ASAP. she was serious.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2006-09-22 23:28:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-09-22 23:09:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Your conservative parents called and said 'I told you so'
GO BACK TO THE BIBLE SON, IT IS YOUR ONLY RECOURSE!
----
oh man! did i hear it from them!
actually not...this has been the only time in my life that my folks didn't jump at the chance to point out my errors. they were pretty cool about it too. i think i did a cartoony double-take when it happened.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-09-22 23:09:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your conservative parents called and said 'I told you so'
GO BACK TO THE BIBLE SON, IT IS YOUR ONLY RECOURSE!
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-09-22 22:55:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Polly wanna cracker?
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-09-22 22:54:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY - SASS!!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-22 22:40:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Going all 'Taxi Driver'ish, huh?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-09-22 22:09:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cool haircut
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2006-09-22 22:03:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
*well
- Tredecillion die.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-09-22 21:55:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and get a haircut.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-09-22 21:54:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, we all fuck up.
Ditch the psycho, keep or put the kid up for adoption, and go back to kicking ass.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-09-22 21:48:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BRAZILIANS ARE GENERALLY NICER WITH THE WHOLE RUIN-YA-LIFE THING. CLASSY LIKE
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-09-22 21:20:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-09-22 21:13:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The only GOOD Puerto Rican is a DEAD Puerto Rican... Who was a drug mule and had 10K worth of heroin in a balloon. And then they're only as good as the 10K spends.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-09-22 20:52:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awwwwwwwwwww... poor baby!!
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-09-22 20:28:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SHADDAP YA FAG.
RLY
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-09-22 20:24:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This goes for Colombians, Costa Ricans, and Venezuelan broads as well.
ESPECIALLY Colombians.
<shudder>
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2006-09-22 20:23:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-09-22 20:17:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm in Pittsburgh. I'm afraid you people will destroy me.
---
nah, i see more and more Terrible Towels at Browns games every year. browns are teh suck.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-09-22 20:17:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm in Pittsburgh. I'm afraid you people will destroy me.