The Beggars Waltz (170 hits)
Category: UberMadness! EntryRating: 2 on 4 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Circe <fickle.muse.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2006-09-26 05:39:18 EDT
This post was an official UberMadness! entry. Click here to view the original matchup.
Dreadlocked hair and a wooden bead necklace and isn't it spectacular how certain outfits, certain hairstyles, certain crappy wooden bead necklaces can give away a person's entire religious, philosophical and intensely personal world view? Like, for example, looking at the expensively maintained dreadlocked hair and the faux-African-import-from-some-small-store-on-the-cafe-strip necklace, you can just SMELL the wannabe hippy vibe.
She drives a Jeep when nobody's looking.
Not the point.
The point is, Anne (who refers to herself as Razina, a Swahili name meaning "strong and patient," says Anne is her slave name, and is white enough to glow in the dark) wants to be righteously angry at the world but, you know, she's had a pretty awesome life. There was that one time Daddy wouldn't let her use the credit card to get a new entertainment system built into her apartment, but the therapist really helped her with that and now she's not traumatized anymore.
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In this city they call it the Beggars' Waltz, "they" being the uniformed men employed by the City to "assist in the Urban Refocusing Program scheduled prior to the City's Christmas Season Celebrations, when tourism becomes a vital part of the lifeblood of the City and locally undesirable elements of society are, by necessity, temporarily rehoused to allow for the free and unhindered progress of our valued visitors." And doesn't it sound pretty? The Council spent $5000 on a local public relations firm to come up with that little gem, and they were paid an extra $500 for capitalizing the word "city." It was such a good idea that it's now done on all City correspondence. Fifty-five hundred dollars to find a nice way of saying "Well, we're gonna sweep out all the bums and lock them away nice and invisible for a few weeks. Don't wanna scare off the big spenders."
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Razina, during one of her humanitarian phases (she'd given up on the idea of animal welfare after she'd been pissed on by an excitable Daschund) read "Black Like Me" and was Inspired. She was going to do her own expose on class differences and Make A Difference. She was going to be Revered and Lauded as a Prizewinning Journalist. And her book, of course, was going to be imaginatively titled "Poor Like Me."
What follows is the unfinished first chapter of her incomplete book.
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"Poor Like Me"
"By Razina"
"A Human Rights Expose"
"In Diary Form"
"A True Story of One Woman's Courage and Empathy"
"Chapter One"
Day 1: I do not anticipate having much time or privacy to write as well as I would like. But I shall faithfully endeavor to make notes every day in order to chronicle my journey into the poorer lower levels of our society and tell the world what I find there. I have come to this place, a public park frequented by the unfortunate souls I long to save, with nothing save this notebook, the clothes I'm wearing, and my emergency credit card tucked inside my left shoe. I can already see why so many people choose the lifestyle - it's very liberating to have nothing to do all day.
Day 2: I believe I've made some progress towards infiltrating this strange society! This morning, while we gathered at the "Soup Van" that comes to the park every second day, a woman whose name I have yet to learn traded me three cigarettes for my necklace. This barter system is commonplace here; perhaps there is something to be learned from the way these people, deprived of "normal" social privileges, revert to an archaic barter system of economy? OR, alternatively, perhaps they chose this way of life BECAUSE they dislike the everyday cash exchange system of purchasing goods and services! Fascinating.
Day 3: I've been forced to use my emergency credit card for the first time. For the last two days I've been able to catch the bus back to my apartment at night (I briefly considered sleeping in the park to give my role verisimilitude, but the idea is patently ridiculous) but today I missed the last bus and needed to catch a taxi. The taxi driver didn't even question my using a platinum credit card even though my makeup is decidedly sub par, in accordance with my infiltrative role. (Note to self: look up infiltrative and make sure is a real word.) (Note to self: delete this section from novel as is not in keeping with humanitarian, humble character)
Day 4: Something is happening. The denizens of the park are stowing their few meagre precious belongings under trashcans and inside the unused bike lockers. It's as though they expect to be away for a while, and they keep referring to something called the Waltz. Is this a social event? Should I dress for it? I've tried to ask but I can't understand much of what they mumble back at me, and there are a few who refuse even to speak to me, although I look just like one of them, only prettier. Maybe tomorrow I'll pack an evening dress in my worn, tatty tote bag just in case. I'd hate to be the only one not wearing black tie.
Day 5: Still nothing.
Day 6: I've never been so insulted in my life. I can't even write about this yet, it's too humiliating. I mean, honestly, I may be underdressed for my social station but I do not "smell like the south end of a northbound camel train." I'm going to have that officer fired. When my Daddy hears about how rudely they treated me before I produced my credit card and demanded to be allowed to call Wickers, our family lawyer, he's going to be VERY put out. Oddly, the other park-dwellers did not seem worried. When I stood on the bench in the holding cell and gave what I consider to be one of the most rousing speeches of my generation, exhorting them to rise up and be counted, they simply laughed or snorted or mumbled or caught imaginary butterflies and didn't stir from their seats. Some people don't WANT to be helped.
User Reviews
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2007-12-20 20:43:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Perfectm almost an expose on expose-ers (Note to self: Look up "expose-ers" and see if it is a real word.)
;)
Submitted by Alter (user info) at 2007-09-26 22:10:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No, Comment.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-04 13:36:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fantastic! Vivid, amusing, pitch-perfect.
(Exposé.)
Haha;
(Note to self: look up infiltrative and make sure is a real word.) (Note to self: delete this section from novel as is not in keeping with humanitarian, humble character)
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2007-06-04 18:45:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like the image of the excitable dachsund pissing on the bleeding heart tree-hugger.