Setscrew and Keyway (901 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0 on 77 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by UberMadness! (View user info) at 2006-09-26 11:20:25 EDT
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This post is officially part of UberMadness!. Click here for more information on the rules and restrictions. |
Entry 1
In the moment before the explosion, Dalton almost relaxed. He was pretty tightly wound in general, but something in her voice made him feel almost peaceful. He even held the phone in the crook of his neck while he lit a cigarette, something of such a casual nature that, had he considered it, would have been hard pressed to remember ever doing. But, of course, Dalton was not considering it, and would never give a second thought to something so inconsequential, in spite of what others thought. He had people for that. Which was why, after that brief moment of silence, the next sound he heard after the scroll of the flint wheel was the explosion that killed his wife.----------
"Setscrew and what?"
"Keyway."
Dalton just stared at him, but Fin knew better than to say anything until his boss spoke again.
"What the fuck does it mean?"
Fin licked his lips nervously. "A keyway is an opening. Setscrews hold things together. Like pressure points. It's machinist stuff."
"Motors," Johnny chimed in, as Fin winced. This new kid was killing him.
Dalton turned his icy glare on Johnny, who was just stupid enough not to know what he'd done. Fin waited for the explosion, but Dalton just turned back to his senior bodyguard.
"Anything else?"
Fin hesitated. He'd been waiting for Dalton to eat his partner for breakfast, but he recovered quickly and fairly blurted, "Gears, pulleys. And motors," he added, consciously not glancing at Johnny, who must be fucking Irish with the luck he's having lately, not the least of which was getting hired in the first place. "Just...no context."
Dalton leaned back in his chair. Fin prayed to sweet Christ on a sidecar that Johnny could keep his mouth shut at least until the old man spoke. When those gears were turning, pun intended, Dalton wouldn't take an interruption from the President himself. Literally. Fin had seen it before.
"What about the locks?"
Fin frowned. Fuck! He thought it so hard for a moment he wasn't sure he hadn't said it out loud.
"Yeah, boss," Fin said, as evenly as possible, "that, too. We can change 'em." Again, he added to himself.
"The rest?"
Fin nodded.
"Run it again."
"We ran it three times, already," Johnny said, and Fin thought he'd have a stroke.
"Jesus," and this time he did say it out loud, with his heart in his throat. He always ran it several times before he even came back to the old man, but Dalton didn't need to know that.
But the old man ignored the kid, and said, "Run it again."
Fin nodded and grabbed Johnny by the arm, hustling him out of the conference room and swearing by Jesus to snap his fucking neck if he so much as hiccupped before they made the hallway. Literally. Fin had done it before.
----------
The guys in the computer room were a lot less tightly wound than Fin, but they cut him a pretty wide berth. It was almost as if Fin was the old man and they were him, he thought.
Fin knew the techs all thought the old man was crazy, or paranoid, or both, with all the analysis of minute shit, the wild hairs. But they were well paid, so they never complained. Not to Fin, anyway.
----------
"Human nature."
Fin looked at Johnny. "What?"
"The old man's just bein' careful. It's human nature."
Fin sighed. Three months and the kid's already wearing him down.
"If it was your wife, you'd be pretty fucking cautious, too."
"Specially if she looked like that."
Fin grabbed Johnny by the neck and slammed him against the wall so hard one of the nerds they'd just left stuck his head out the door way down the hall. When he saw the new guy's feet were off the floor, he lost interest and disappeared back into the computer room.
"Don't ever let anyone hear you say anything like that again. Understand?"
"Yeah, yeah, Fin, sorry. Fuck, easy man."
Fin lowered him to the floor, breathing heavily. Johnny tried to straighten his jacket, looking more than a little scared. The kid was so fucking goofy, Fin almost felt bad.
Almost.
Something about the kid bothered him. But Dalton hired him, and Fin wasn't one to question him.
"Sorry, man," the kid mumbled.
Fin sighed. Maybe what bothered him was the kid just didn't seem serious about the job. Fin was very serious about the job. The old man could open doors for the kid, if he'd just take advantage.
As for the wife, well Fin had the exact same thoughts, but the brains not to say it out loud. Marissa was a stone cold piece of ass, forty years younger than Dalton and twenty younger than himself, but Fin fantasized if he ever got a terminal illness he'd burn that bitch down and blow his brains out if he thought he could finish both before the old man got to him. Very important to finish both. He'd seen more than one guy suffer for looking at her the wrong way. Literally. Fin had made them suffer.
----------
When they got the word, Fin was beating the hell out of Johnny at some Playstation game he could never remember the name of. The kid brought it in, for Christ's sakes, and he was still getting his ass kicked. Fin prided himself on his reflexes. I was born too early, he thought. If I was the kid's age, I'd be a world champion whaddayacallit. A gamer.
The compound was a sweet gig with all the amenities, and Fin loved it when the old man made them wait. A lot of guys got a little stir crazy, but not Fin. He could go months here, and often had over the years. He'd been around the longest, and he never minded the down time because the up time could get so hairy. Working for the old man wasn't easy, but it had its advantages.
Fin hung up the phone. "We're up."
----------
Fin hadn't told anyone yet, but he was thinking about retiring. He'd saved up a pile of dough over the years, and he wanted to have a little fun while it still meant something. The old man had paid him well, but his time in had come at a heavy cost. He'd never married, and had few friends other than a casual acquaintance or two at any given time, interchangeable faces which seemed to rotate with some regularity. He was facing life when the old man saved him, and life was exactly what he'd given in return.
But he had no regrets. Delayed dreams, maybe.
"What do we do first?"
Fin came out of his reverie and looked at Johnny. No way this kid is gonna stay in the job. He should know better than to ask before we get there. He knew the precautions.
But Fin was in a good mood. Things felt right. Final. Finish this, tell the old man, and ride the gravy train straight to Cabo. Maybe Mazatlan.
"We sweep the house, secure the perimeter, and wait. The old man's sending another team for his wife, so whenever whoever is sent gets there, surprise! We take 'em out, torch the place. Case closed."
Johnny seemed to consider this a long time. Or maybe he was finally gonna shut up.
"Why would someone wanna hit Mrs. D?"
Fin had thought about this himself, but was surprised the kid had. He had no idea anymore if this shit was all in the old man's head or not.
"Old man's got a lot of enemies. Enemies want to hurt you. That would hurt him the most."
He thought the kid might shut up the rest of the way, but then he said something that filled Fin with such strong emotions half of him wanted to strangle him and the other half wanted to adopt him.
"You really love the old guy, don't you?"
Where the fuck did that come from? Fin gripped the steering wheel tightly, and goddamned if he didn't almost tear up. Jesus Christ. But he was strong, as strong as anyone he'd ever known except for the old man, and he finally just turned to Johnny, and said, "The only man I ever loved was my father." But it was a lie, and Fin wondered if the kid could tell.
Johnny said nothing more the rest of the drive, and Fin was grateful for that. Must be the retirement, he thought. Making me soft. At least I'm not as soft as the kid. He's never gonna stay in the job.
----------
When they got to the property, they checked in with the guards, and then continued up the gravel driveway.
Fin grabbed Johnny before he could get out of the car, and yanked him across the seat. He held him tight and reached into the kid's coat.
Just as I thought. He saw real fear in the kid's eyes, the kind you couldn't fake.
"You're heart's beating pretty goddamn fast, Johnny boy."
The kid said nothing. Finally learning to be cool, Fin thought.
"I know she's a piece of ass, okay? But you settle the fuck down. We got a job to do. Understand?"
Johnny nodded, and Fin let him go. The kid tried to straighten his jacket, and got out of the car. Fucking goofy, Fin thought.
----------
They went inside and got right to work. No problems. That's more like it.
The kid was doing alright, Fin thought. Maybe he'll surprise me yet.
Johnny surprised him in the basement.
In the moment before the kid put the screwdriver into his brain, Fin felt peaceful. He was a pretty tightly wound guy in general before a job, but now he felt almost relaxed. Things felt right. Final. He had even overlooked the furtive glances Johnny had given the old man's wife when they came in, as he had already caught himself looking at her once or twice the same way.
But, of course, it wasn't the same way at all, and if Fin had considered it, he would have been hard pressed to remember seeing the kid ever looking at anyone that way.
But he hadn't considered it, and since Fin's job included considering such seemingly inconsequential things, that failure cost him his life, his unrealized dreams, and the old man his wife.
Fin had been right about Johnny, after all. The kid wasn't long for the job. What Fin didn't know as the phillip's head penetrated his temple, was that this was the last job for them both.
The kid looked down at Fin and almost felt sorry for him. Almost. Hope I never get soft like that, he thought, and went to look for the wife.
----------
Marissa answered her cell.
"Baby, it's me. Is everything all right?"
"Of course. What's the matter?"
"Fin and Johnny there?"
"Yeah, didn't they check in?"
"What are they doing?"
"They're doing whatever it is they do, I guess."
"Listen, baby, I don't want you to wait for Tony. I want you to get in the car and drive north. He'll meet you, okay? Don't even wait for Fin. I'll call the gate so they know you're coming out."
"Is anything wrong?"
"Just one of my feelings, baby, don't worry. Humor me."
"You worry too much. Hold on a sec, someone's in the hall. Probably Fin."
----------
Dalton almost relaxed. He held the phone in the crook of his neck, and lit a cigarette.
----------
Johnny was parked not far beyond the gate, behind some bushy trees on the side of the road. He pushed a button on his cell.
----------
Dalton froze when he heard the explosion. He dropped the cigarette, but held onto the lighter so tight it was several minutes before he realized the flesh on the inside of his thumb was burned almost to the bone.
----------
Johnny pulled back onto the road as soon as he saw the guards rush towards the burning house. When they got close enough, he set off the second blast, and turned south towards the interstate.
After about twenty minutes, he finally turned to Marissa, who looked pensive.
He reached over and touched her leg.
"C'mon, baby. We had an opening. It's done."
She nodded.
"So what are you thinking?"
Finally she smiled. "Maybe Mazatlan."
- VS -
Entry 2
NOTE: If you want to get an idea of what the girl in the story sounds like, click the audio attachment below (before or after you read it, I don't care).____________________________________________
Michael Davids strode with his chest out into the Marriott Courtyard in Key West, Florida. Success hovered around him like a new body spray. The way he swung his arms, surveyed the lobby, and tried to make eye contact with everyone, all served to communicate what he thought of himself. He was important. These people all knew who he was.
Though of course, nobody gave a damn about him.
He approached the checkout desk, taking a model-esque pause to check his watch. When he looked back up, he still didn't know what time it was. It was just for show. He focused on the checkout clerk, a cute twenty-something girl who was slowly swinging her arms to the rhythm of some salsa music that apparently only she could hear.
"Hey, spanish dancer," he nodded with a wink and a gun.
"Wink 'n a gun, huh? You bringin coo' back or somethin? Is good." He hardly understood her. Her entire speech pattern avoided articulation. It wasn't lazy, per se, but more... listless.
"Excuse me?" Michael couldn't even tell what she said, so he definitely didn't see the sarcasm in it.
"Nevamine, nevamine. We'come to Keyway, how can I he'p," she asked as her lip ring danced with her words.
"I'm sorry," he looked at her name tag, "Jo Jo, did you say 'Welcome to Key West', or something about my room key?"
"Yeah, Keyway, but I can getta room key too if ya want," she walked over to the computer terminal and just zoned out for a second, "What name?"
"You don't know who I am? You guys have known I was coming for weeks. Davids. Michael Davids."
She made very little attempt to keep the conversation going while she looked it up. Unlike the rest of her demeanor, her typing skills were quick and furious. "You in town on bi'ness, then?"
"Most definitely," he sensed the opportunity to show off, "I'm producing a movie here this month. They didn't tell you? We're set to start filming in three days, so- " He said 'so' in that way that meant 'so you should be impressed', but she didn't even look up. Taking that cue, he continued, "- so, I expect to get the royal treatment here. Understand?"
"Hmm, yeah, I can't find the name," she had no idea how this was affecting his ego.
"What? Shit, MGM was supposed to take care of all this."
"David, huh," she asked again.
"No, Davids, with an 's' damnit, an 's'."
"An 's', tha's kinda odd, ya think?"
Michael just gave her a look that said, 'are you serious?'
"Okay, a'ight, I foun it. So, you's like a big shot then, huh, it's good, like the 'xecutive p'oduceh or somethin?"
"Well, line producer technically."
"Ohhh," her reaction knocked him down a peg.
"But- " He said 'but' in a way that meant 'but you should still be impressed', pointing at her. "- but I run the daily schedule for the set and the crew. I can't believe you haven't heard of me."
"Nah, I have, I jus' don't care."
"What? Okay, fuck you and your apathy," he was almost boiling at this point.
"Nah, nah, no pro'lem, is nice, you got ya sets/crews ready and Keyway, what could be betteh?" She took another unnecessary pause. "Uhh, what movie ya doin?" She was trying to make ammends, but he was still frustrated.
"We're remaking 'North By Northwest', and filming a couple scenes here. I'm off to New York City after this."
"Ah shoot, you remakin a classic Hi'cock, huh, 'Nor By Norway'. That's coo', I guess," she shrugged, and continued to finalize his reservation.
"You guess? You fucking guess? Okay, you know what, I don't have time for your insanity. Just shut the fuck up and give me the key." He threw a five dollar bill at her. "Here, buy some speech therapy."
She looked at him, handed over the key, pocketed the five, and said with perfect articulation, "I am but mad north by northwest. When the wind is southerly, I know a hawk from a handsaw." She followed with her normal listless speech, "You howeveh, ain't sane at all, thinkin that a Hollywood no-body wi' no vision and no origina'ity is some type'a big shot. Is not nice, not good."
a snippet of what she sounded like.wav (107 kB) [audio/wav]
Entry 1:
Amontillado
AsshOly
Axolotl
Bellebrown
Bigmike
bob
Bob_Dole
CaptainThorns
charminglybeef
coley
corn_nugget
Coyote
Crystle
Davros
EchoBoxing
extacy_red
fodesnor
FunnyAsCancer
Genko
ghola
goferforhire
HotWillie
intellismartness
Jack_McCallum
jgreening
JMG114
joedaddy
justagirl27
kaos-king
littledan
MandaPanda
Method
morontian
NerfHerder
nyxmar
Orgasmatron
Pentameter
satchel
scourge
Sepsis
Serious_Melvin
Soley_Trinity
sparkle_pink
SPECIALk
Stagger_Lee
stevie_says
thorpe
viciousness63
William_Q_Percy
45 eligible votes (49 total) *
Entry 2:
Bubba2341
c1ndy
Coleslaw_Murphy
darko
DonkeyOnTheEdge
drgoatcabin
DrogoRoch
firefly
GetNakeddd
icarus1987
Impassive-Digressive
JoeyG
JonnyX
lechuza
Merlina
rad1101
Sacrilicious
sicosemen
St_Jimmy
The_Yellow_Dart
Wiggles
WingedFoote
19 eligible votes (22 total) *
* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition.
User Reviews
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2006-09-29 12:20:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe this would've fared better?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/93768
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2006-09-29 05:30:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-09-29 04:01:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Strange, but I still liked it.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2006-09-29 03:59:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2006-09-29 03:01:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-09-29 02:40:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I have no time for explanations with these last few posts, sorry, I want to have voted on each match up.
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-09-29 02:18:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-09-29 02:05:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2006-09-29 01:29:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by justagirl27 (user info) at 2006-09-29 00:00:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2006-09-28 23:49:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by nyxmar (user info) at 2006-09-28 21:21:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-09-28 17:31:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1 was really confusing.
#2 I really ddn't like.
1 wins.
-Dave
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-09-28 12:56:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What a horrid title.
Submitted by fodesnor (user info) at 2006-09-28 08:53:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-09-28 04:05:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by WingedFoote (user info) at 2006-09-28 02:43:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
worst title I've seen, and two of the best entries. what gives? it's a shame one of 'em has to lose...
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2006-09-27 20:29:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-09-27 20:15:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-09-26 15:08:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
"Michael Davids strode with his chest out into the Marriott Courtyard in Key West, Florida. Success hovered around him like a new body spray."
--
HOLY FUCKING CHRIST! I JUST PISSED MYSELF AT WORK! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!
ELECTRO NOMINEE!!!!!!
===
The body spray line might have been just ridiculous enough to seal my vote.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-09-27 20:13:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-09-27 17:21:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think it's Keyser Söze.
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2006-09-27 15:18:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-09-27 09:25:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Blarf
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-09-27 05:22:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Both of these had issues. Of course, with that horrible title...
#1 - I think that opening paragraph should have either been eliminated or edited. It didn't fit with the rest of the tale, and it gave too much away. I kinda dazed out half way through on who the characters where as well.
#2 - As much as I enjoy dialogue in a story, this post seemed to hinge on it. Nothing really ever, um... happened. The first entry nudges by you just because there was some plotting.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-09-27 03:04:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-09-27 03:00:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by intellismartness (user info) at 2006-09-27 02:03:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Number One was good, and number 2 was painful to read with that accent.
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2006-09-27 02:00:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I think they both were kinda low-ball. not that i'm hemmingway, but, sorry guys, just, not impressive.
Completely unrelated: I've stayed at the Courtyard by Marriot in key west that #2 refered to. It's a very nice hotel. little bi-level hotel and a decent pool.
Submitted by viciousness63 (user info) at 2006-09-26 23:44:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-26 23:36:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
interesting.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-26 22:52:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I could lie and say this was a coin toss, but I won't. The first 2 paragraphs of #1 were very confusing, although that may be because I'm a dumbass.
:-/
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2006-09-26 22:29:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2006-09-26 20:35:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2006-09-26 20:11:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bleh.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-09-26 19:56:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2006-09-26 19:31:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-09-26 18:32:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
woo for hitmen
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-09-26 18:07:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-09-26 18:06:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Neither of these really jumped out at me as being terribly inspired.
The first was certainly more entertaining, but entirely typical. Too many tired expressions.
The second was trite and self-conscious, especially in its purpose.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-09-26 17:00:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#2 was better written, though the references to the title (not sure how you could work this one in, though) were kind of vague.
#1 had the twist, but also a lot of loose ends. Also a very vague tie-in to the title, though again, it's almost impossible to integrate.
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2006-09-26 16:24:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2006-09-26 15:38:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i liked it
Submitted by satchel (user info) at 2006-09-26 15:34:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-09-26 15:21:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice inclusion of media.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-09-26 15:12:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"He approached the checkout desk, taking a model-esque pause to check his watch."
--
Sorry, but I could do this all day.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-09-26 15:11:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The way he swung his arms, surveyed the lobby, and tried to make eye contact with everyone, all served to communicate what he thought of himself. He was important.
--
If I saw this guy coming at me I'd run like fuck.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-09-26 15:09:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And Author #1 creates magic with a difficult title. VERY well done!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-09-26 15:08:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Michael Davids strode with his chest out into the Marriott Courtyard in Key West, Florida. Success hovered around him like a new body spray."
--
HOLY FUCKING CHRIST! I JUST PISSED MYSELF AT WORK! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!
ELECTRO NOMINEE!!!!!!
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-09-26 14:43:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
worst title ever.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-09-26 14:18:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-09-26 13:49:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2006-09-26 13:47:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
didn't read either, but the second one was shorter
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-09-26 13:41:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-09-26 13:36:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Whatttttt the fuck.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-09-26 13:31:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what a horrible fucking title.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-09-26 13:30:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i wish the back button on my browser worked so i didn't have to vote for one of these messes.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2006-09-26 13:28:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1, that was the most disjointed thing I've ever seen since watching ten minutes of Genral Hospital when I was 10
#2, the snippet of the "girl" almost made me not vote for it. Was the sound bite a 47 year old black tranny with a soft pallet deformation.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-09-26 13:25:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-09-26 13:10:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-09-26 12:58:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
One of these will be a definate nomination of the Electro Award, they stink that bad.
#1 - Had the beginnings of a story
-----
but then
-----
some other stuff happened, to some people
-----
and then other stuff, by other people? or the same ones?
-----
POV changes again, to somebody?
-----
who is this guy again?
-----
wait, wait back up, who's doing what? Where'd she come from?
-----
explosion happens, to somebody, we dont know who?
-----
FIN (the end)
#2 - ¡CHARO! ¡KUTCHI-KUTCHI! ¡ARRIBA ARRIBA!
bleh
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-26 12:53:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyep.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-09-26 12:26:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
a snippet of i don't give a fuck.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-09-26 12:24:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-09-26 12:23:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
long long long long long long stories.
quit writing novels motherfuckers.
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2006-09-26 12:20:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-09-26 11:52:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-09-26 11:45:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i just gave the chick from entry 2 the voice of the chick from Blazing Saddles. Im at school so i couldnt check the .wav.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-09-26 11:44:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
2 seemed like the author just thought of the idea this morning. 1 was a good story, and im all for blowing things up.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-09-26 11:44:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-09-26 11:39:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-09-26 11:37:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-09-26 11:30:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2006-09-26 11:29:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-09-26 11:26:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-09-26 11:25:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-09-26 11:25:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-09-26 11:24:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry but the audio file did nothing for me on entry 2.