Top Ten Reasons to Give Up Drinking (2348 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.53 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <drink_ddt.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2003-06-25 08:59:45 EDT
I've finally opened my eyes and realized I do some real dumb shit when I'm drunk. I'm really sick of having headaches compounded with regrets every saturday and sunday morning. It's over. I'm quitting. For real this time. Here are the most recent reasons:
10. The words "Just point at anything, and I'll puke on it" actually came out of my mouth. My friend pointed at a park bench, so I puked on it. Then he pointed at a HUMVEE, so I puked on it. He was really impressed with my vomitting skills. I'm an idiot.
9. I'm really tired of hearing "holy shit dude, you showed everyone your cock last night!"
8. The other day I crawled out of my bed and went to go get lunch. On the way there, everyone was pointing at me and laughing. I have no idea why.
7. The gin shits.
6. http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=105379847785397590
5. http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1055428950860721694
4. At a bar the other night I sat down at a table that consisted of one guy and one girl who were talking intimately. I grabbed the girl's hand and said "whuzzup?". Later that night I told a complete stranger to go fuck himself after he tried to shake my hand. I hate meeting knew people anyway.
3. Male Korean cab drivers, no matter how short and cute the little guys are, don't deserve 40 bucks for a five minute cab ride. ATMs should have breathalizers attached to them.
2. I only have 642 branes sellz lefff dood.
and the number one reason I'm going to quit drinking for real this time:
User Reviews
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-12-04 14:51:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that picture is brilliant.
I passed out on the floor of our kitchen once. my neighbour had to come round and get me up and drag me to bed. work wasn't fun the next day.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-12-08 07:12:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
surely.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2003-12-04 03:53:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have those slippers!
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2003-10-29 02:59:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This picture turns me on.
Submitted by Chad_Sexington (user info) at 2003-08-12 16:34:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So good it's received no negative reviews.
Submitted by athena <athenacaldwell> at 2003-07-23 12:05:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HES HOT, smart, and funny what more could a girl want??????
Submitted by athena <athenacaldwell.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-07-23 11:56:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Men never learn.. Hey love the slippers....
Submitted by dolphgr13 (user info) at 2003-06-25 22:07:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha holy shit, that's right on. although, putting on 20 pounds of gut would be on the list also....
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-06-25 16:03:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Drink, yeah it was kinda my idea. But I did it with how some replies to a post were hysterical in that they were COMPLETELY unrelated. The nastier the better too.
I've been too busy lately, if you want to do it, I won't mind, just give me a "plug" :-)
Loren
BTW - I hate meeting "knew" people too. They're such know-it-alls.
Submitted by Nator (user info) at 2003-06-25 15:44:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Acarnis (user info) at 2003-06-25 15:15:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was great.
Submitted by Heyitsmaurine (user info) at 2003-06-25 14:54:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
my friend has those slippers...
Submitted by fell-8-me (user info) at 2003-06-25 14:43:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh fuck this one was funny:
3. Male Korean cab drivers, no matter how short and cute the little guys are, don't deserve 40 bucks for a five minute cab ride.
Submitted by Skyy101 (user info) at 2003-06-25 14:13:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2003-06-25 13:49:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm done binge drinking too. I feel your pain, except I usually end up meeting a really nice girl that I would actually have a relationship with and then I get megaplastered and end up treating her like a total asshole. I also realized it was time to stop drinking when one night I awoke from a bathroom floor vomit fest and promptly urinated in my pants in a drunken haze. I awoke with wet pants and one wet sock and that was the last straw.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2003-06-25 12:37:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you are very clever sometimes.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2003-06-25 12:00:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2003-06-25 11:59:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the post in general, and +2 for the line "ATMs should have breathalyzers on them"
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-06-25 11:32:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you forgot this
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1055196823375227308
and this
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1056550225664114665
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2003-06-25 09:54:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Rizzo are you ever going to do another "funny -2's" post again? I've seen a lot of funny ones lately. I'd do it but I don't want to steal your idea. Or was it Loren's idea? Fuckit someone do it.
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2003-06-25 09:48:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
#1 did it.
Submitted by chicagogirl (user info) at 2003-06-25 09:19:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it is like Homer is eating hiddens foot.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-06-25 09:10:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thank you for reminding me of this..... again.
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2003-06-25 09:09:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hahahah...
Nice. :)
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2003-06-25 09:06:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Haha my bad monkey.
I think from now on every single one of my posts will include Hidden101 in some way.
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2003-06-25 09:02:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey. You forgot to animate it.
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=105339577621363883